Pokemon is Dead

All of those kids who say “Pokemon is dead” are absolutely right; the card game is utterly pathetic right now. It was extremely active toward the end of Wizards of the Coast’s run, but indolent Pokemon USA decided to take over and gear it toward children, leading to dwindling attendance at events. Overall, tournaments have become extremely boring and unrewarding, dissuading people from even going to them in the first place. It’s also not just myself expressing this opinion; almost everyone I talked to this past Saturday completely agreed with Pokemon USA’s complete lack of support for this game.

Check out these photos I took at Southern California’s Regional event this past Saturday. Out of three huge rooms booked for the event, almost ALL tables were COMPLETELY empty. Between one of the rounds, I snapped a few photos of the general activity occurring at the tables. Click the thumbnails below for larger images.

And these are photos of ONE of the THREE empty rooms! Imagine how empty the other two rooms are. Whoever booked this event obviously did not take into consideration that the card game’s attendance is sharply dropping because of PUSA’s recent poor decisions. Players simply do not want to participate anymore, and the lack of attendance is sheer proof of this.

That’s not it! Pokemon USA itself is run by such corrupt and meanspirited people that their guidelines are geared toward hiring the same type of adults for events. Don’t try to approach these people in real life, especially when they are running a Pokemon event, and ESPECIALLY if you are a child. You will be met by lifeless individuals with cold faces who only seem to be running these events for the mere joy and pleasure of saddening and frightening your day. These are not family-friendly events; the judges and organizers are pure evil. None of them EVER crack a smile.

Whatever money Pokemon USA decides to “tip” to their tournaments is not only misused to pay the exuberant salaries of the aforementioned individuals, but to pay for cheap prizes that seem to come from junkyards. If you spent all day fighting for a spot in the top sixteen, won one, and then battled your way to the top four, would you want to go home with the pieces of garbage in the photo below? I think NOT.

Moreover, these tournaments are predominantly dominated by children with no manners, poor sportsmanship, and wild natures. Pokemon obviously only attracts children (especially WILD ones), and is clearly not meant for teenagers or adults. Don’t be caught with a Pokemon card, let alone at one of these events; you will be laughed at for the rest of your life (that may be why only children are in these photos). Even if you come just to support your child or baby brother or sister, you will discover a new definition of “boredom” as you sit around and do nothing, like the last two photos show. You may want to get out of the hotel so fast that you pray for your child to lose as soon as possible (perhaps by making them forget to put our their prizes, which is definitely the quickest way to get them to lose AND kill their spirits at the same time).

Little brats, and stupid, childish Pokemon… You wish you could just threaten the existence of these events with a threating letter or something so you and your fellow friends and family don’t have to go through such torture in attending. Do what most adults do… avoid the immaturity and childishness of Pokemon.

(I had to add in this note since some people who read this story within the first hour of it being posted weren’t “getting it.” This news story is pure sarcasm; the photos contradict everything I say.)