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Charles Edward Martin was originally born in Birmingham, Alabama on December, 11 1985 but was soon abandoned on the side of the road in favor of a dead raccoon. He was eventually discovered by a pack of wild platypi and after a short (and bloody) scuffle, he was raised and cared for by the strange animals. Twenty-two years later he was finally kicked out of the pack and forced to attend the University of Montevallo for summer classes.