Writing A Trainers Story

Panda

Flame me please
Member
Note: This is set in alternate Pokemon universe.

Prologue:

The morning, an everyday occurance that was underrated to Eric. In the morning the morning you can preview what you will appear to your fellow humans.

The morning was Eric's favorite because it favored the act of preparation. The saying Préparez-vous au tommorow Prepare for tommorow always rung in his head so that one day he will become a True Trainer.


Chapter 1- Welcome to _____

Eric combed his hair in the mirror only to get the expression of dissatisfaction. He was tired and his scrawny lips shriveld in the cold winters morning.

He put on his dark pants and continued his morning ritual of self-grooming. He gathered his scattered school materials and was ready for school.

Eric came from a middle-class family which basically meant that he was not acceptable to attend and Pokemon Trainer Preparatory School. Back in " The Day " any ten year old boy/girl was available to become trainers and go on there journey. Well now the times have changed.

Now you must attend Pokemon Trainer Preparatory School or P.T.P.S to become a trainer, which was what Eric's biggest dream. But he faced the problem of not having a family name.

You see to actually get a qualitity education you have to come from a long line of nobles what this means basically is if your family is not powerful you will not be powerful.

Chapter 2- Give Up

Eric paced slowly to school, he was in a state of reinisassance. He slowly thought of why he isn't a trainer or why he can't have a family name and so on and so on.

The pain of reality was a heavy burden for Eric to him to no that you are not special in a sea of specials was overwhelming.

School to Eric was an institute of examination in english he thought the government was holding analyzing the future tommorow and correcting it so there will be not individuality.

At this stage in life all that he wants is veritas ,Latin for truth and maybe one day he will become a trainer.

It was a typical day at school, he got yelled at for not turning in last night assignment, forgot his lunch money, and skipped 3rd period which utterly sent him to the principal's office and thus granting him the right for dentention for Insubordination.

The reason he always skipped 3rd period was that it was Inroduction into Construction. Eric really didn't enjoy the reality of thinking he was to become a construction worker when he grew up in fact he hated the trade arts.

The next day Eric served his detention he got to school promptly at six-thirty a.m. During the detention he just slept by at the window he noticed that a Charmeleon was arrogantly shooting out spouts of fire and pridefully smirking at all of the other forest pokemon surronding it.

Eric shoated it out a "wow" to the Charmeleon which greatly provoked it because it caught Eric's saracasm. The Charmeleon slowly glanced inside the window, examined Eric, and gave out a nasty glare.

... To be continued.
 
Well I like where this is going in the long run. It seems like you have a good plot together which is great!

The chapter is pretty small, so you definetly need to lengthen your chapters. And the 1st chapter just kinda...stopped, no real ending. Thats not good.

I think this could turn out to be a really good fan fic. You just need WAY longer chapters and and a definite beggining, middle and end. Once that happens this should turn out pretty well. If the plot is what I think it is and you dont rush it than this will be a good fic!

Hope I dont sound to much like your grammer teacher here but I hope this helps! Good luck!
 
I understand the chapter thing but I wanted to end the first chapter with discussing about the family issue so I wanted to end it there and the I didn't finish the second one yet.
 
Ok well glad you understand! I really like the Latin references! Just one gramatical thing

Panda said:
At this stage in life all that he wants veritas Latin for truth and maybe one day he will become a trainer.
Just to fix this a little bit
MK63 said:
At this stage in life all that he wants is veritas ,which is Latin for truth, and maybe one day he will become a trainer.

bold = edited

That was actually the first gramatical thing I caught! So far the descriptiveness is great! Just keep working at it and like I said this will be a great fan fic!

Sorry to bombard you with stuff but I just want this to be as Awesome as possible:p!!! Ok I'm done picking at your fan fic now, I hope you understand I want this all to be constructive! Good luck with finishing the next chapter!

I'll be watching, I'll always be watching.

:p
 
lol, somebody other than me picking on grammer for a change? That's nice to see... you have learnt well Matt ;):p

But yeah, he's hit the nail on the head with this one. It has potential, but right now it'd take about 20 chapters to get any sense of that potential. You know what you must do, so I'll just say to make sure that you do that and this should be good :)
 
MonkeyKing63, its constructive criticism every writer needs it :D .

went through writers block which wasn't so pretty.

well * upadate 2nd chapter.
 
Back
Top