Playthrough BaconLocke: Chapter 2

bacon

bacon

!!!!!
Member
BACONLOCKE​

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thx rusty sticks​

DA RULES​

1) If a Pokemon faints, that's it. It's gone, and never coming back. These are your friends, who are willing to die for you. Treat them with respect.

2) You can only catch the first Pokemon you encounter in any route. No dupes clause here, if you've seen it before, tough beans.

3) All Pokemon must have a nickname... if you forget to nickname them, to the PC box they go until you fix that.

INTRODUCTION​

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"ALL HAIL THE SMOGONOMICON"​

Well, this is a title screen. THE title screen, in all of its ominous glory. Guess we're off to a rocky start. I create a new save file, and a familiar face looms from the void.​

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It's Professor PMJ! Well, I'm sure we're all familiar with how a Pokemon game starts. Let's get all the trivialities outta the way...​

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PMJ asks me the name of his grandson, as per usual. Well, the game is all about beating Gary, and conquering evil... so I guess it would be fitting to be battling against the most twisted and cunning person I know... so...​

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O u O I figured DNA would make the best rival. Well, with no more forms to fill out, AWAY WE GO! Let's see what Pokemon Yellow has in store for us all...​

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Professor PMJ zaps me with the shrink ray and I find myself in my bedroom. Is that TV even hooked up to anything? After grabbing the all important potion from my PC, I venture outside ready to embark on my brand spanking new adventure! With no actual spanking, hopefully.​

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We all know what happens here. I step into that alluring grass, but PMJ comes to my rescue, warning me about the dangers of an untrimmed lawn.​

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Before he can escort me back to his lab though, the monster... appears...​

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<bacon>...THAT'S THE GUY
<bacon> THE GUY ON THE TITLE SCREEN
<@PMJ> what.
<bacon> PMJ YOU HAVE ONLY ONE POKBALL AND NO POKEMON
<bacon> I SWEER TO GOD IF HE GET SAWAY
<@PMJ> chill I got this
<bacon> BUT​

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<bacon> wow is it always going to be that easy?
<@PMJ> ...yes.​

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PMJ invites me back to his pad and promises me a Pokemon because we're tight yo. I wonder why DNA is here?​

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<DNA> ninja'd
<bacon> dude why
<bacon> what poke is it even
<DNA> Eevee.
<bacon> !!!
<bacon> bs
<bacon> so wait what poke am I getting then​

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<bacon> nooooo

Me and DNA enter battle.

Fortunately battle performance isn't correlated with appearance, and Eevee does nothing but pitifully Growl at me as it's zapped into submission. I didn't even take a hit.​

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By the way, I named the Pikachu POUNDCAKE in recognition of his chubby early days. Modern Pikachu is really slim in comparison. I figure that it's important for Poundcake to get as much exercise as possible, so I let him out of the PokeBall so he can follow me around and lose some weight.

Actually, this is really the first time I've got a decent look at him. Let's see how he's doing.​

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...dammit DNA.

Well, a partner is a partner, and death till us part, so goeth the Nuzlocke. I guess it's time we hit the road! Join us next time for PART ONE of this Pokemon Nuzlocke! I hope you're as excited as I am for the next instalment!​
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Sexy.
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

oh my god please don't let this die for a year like my emerald locke
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

This is beautiful.

I can't wait for more.

dmaster out.
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Bacon... This is why we frickin' love ya.

Keep the epicness comin'. xD

Btw, you seriously gotta name a stupid Pokémon PineappleX. Nah, jk. :p
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Thanks dudes. Chapter 1 will be up on Monday/Tuesday. c:
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Really so amused that I randomly decide to come back to search for lockes on this day and I found this posted up hahaha. Looking forward to reading it :D
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Nuzlockes of Yellow are always interesting. I'll be reading this.
Also, has anything been changed other than the dialogue and Pikachu's face?
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

CHAPTER 1​

There's really not much else to be said about Pallet Town. My mother stares at a blank wall all day and never sleeps, PMJ just chills out in his lab getting gullible 10 year olds to carry out his field research for him, and DNA's sister has the hots for me. I brave the hostile wilderness of Route 1 in a bid to escape Pallet Town and see the world, with one chubby Pikachu in tow.

After a bit of grinding, Poundcake can OHKO the entire Route 1 metagame. I'm now willing to look over Poundcake's flaws, and I vow to turn him into a champ, even if it kills me. That is, if he doesn't die first, this being a Nuzlocke and all.

It's not long before we find ourselves in Viridian city. This place even has a Walmart! I hurry on over, eager to find some training gear for Poundcake, when I find a familiar face running the shop.​

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<bacon> that's right
<kronar> o cool can you deliver this package to pmj please
<bacon> ehhh sure...​

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<kronar> thanks man I owe you one
<kronar> what's that smell?
<bacon> ew yeah...​

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<bacon> OH GOD POUNDCAKE NO NO
<kronar> WHAT IS THAT
<bacon> I AM SO. SORRY.
<kronar> WHAT IS THAT​

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<kronar> DONT MAKE IT FOLLOW YOU ROUND THE STORE
<bacon> OH <censored> SORRY SORRY
<kronar> THAT COLOUR DOESNT EVEN EXIST IN THIS GAME
<kronar> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Kronar kicks me out of the store as the place is quarantined, and I take Poundcake to the PokeCentre to heal up so we can continue to grind wild Pidgeys into juicy EXP. Mm, EXP. Sweet, salty EXP...​

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Who ever says no to this?​

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Unfortunately there has been a death on the road leading to Viridian forest, so we can't pass through here just yet. Looks like a fatal Weedle sting judging by the puffed cheeks. May as well head back to PMJ's and wait for the police to cart the body away...​

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Back through Route 1, grind grind grind. I'm really taking my time getting Poundcake up to speed. I have no idea what Yellow Version has to offer and I'm not consulting a guide, so I can't be too careful. Eventually we get to PMJ's place!​

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<bacon> you mean the Pokemon you had for 5 minutes before pawning it off to me
<bacon> because your adhd grandson stole the only decent pokemon you had left
<bacon> and that doesnt have any semblance of bowel control
<@PMJ> yeah that one.​

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<@PMJ> Why does he smell so bad
<@PMJ> If I give you a pokedex will you get that thing out of here
<bacon> throw in some pokeballs and its a deal
<@PMJ> But you can get PokeBalls from the Walmart in Viridian.
<bacon> it's
<bacon> ...closed.
<@PMJ> fine whatever
*PMJ hands bacon 10 Pokeball(s) and 1 Pokedex
*PMJ kicked bacon from #lab

I make my way to that route to the west of Viridian city. After loitering around in the grass for a while, the screen goes black, the battle music blares out, and I encounter my second team member! It's...​

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<bacon> YES YES YES YES YES YES HEEEEEEEEEEE​

Oh man am I BUZZING right now! Nidoking is the most manly Pokemon I could hope for in a Nuzlocke and his Ground typing makes for a welcome addition to my team. All it takes is a Thunder Wave from Poundcake and the well timed toss of a PokeBall, and the beast is caught. This thing is going to be my pride and joy. All I have to do now is keep it alive...​

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The purple colour reminds me of grape juice so Juicebox it is!

Me and Juicebox are pals from the start. We do a little light training here and there, with Poundcake bringing up the rear should things get too dangerous. Juicebox is a born fighter, and is determined to prove himself to me. And in no time at all, Juicebox is strong enough to learn Horn Attack.

Juicebox spares nothing.

His horn shreds time and space into tatters, wiping from existence the pathetic Mankey and Spearow that dare stand in his way. Horn Attack may as well be Horn Drill at these levels. Every time I issue the command to attack, the ground shakes as if the kings of the underworld are trembling in fear, and the heavens weep as if God himselWOOO HAY IS THAT A METOGGLEPAD???​

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BY THE WAY WE'RE IN VIRIDINOSAUR FOREST NOW.

Eh... I'll take it! Butterfree isn't bad, and it's not as if I'll be wanting Tackle or String Shot. After 5 freakin' Pokeballs I finally get him. I name him Fidget. I'm not sure what to expect from Brock, but I doubt he has any Rock type attacks at this stage of the game, so Fidget can probably power through him once he learns Confusion. Right? Riiiight?

Not shown: Me mugging a bunch of hopeless Bug Catchers and stomping on their Caterpie.

As the more astute readers will know, there's an optional battle against DNA that I haven't fought yet. I have no idea what DNA's team is going to be in Yellow version, but I'm guessing it's going to be the Eevee and a loser Pidgey or something.

I inevitably bump into DNA, who starts being DNA at me. I'm offended. We battle.​

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<bacon> DNA
<bacon> if my granbull has 23 IVs in atk and is level 41 and is maxed out in attack evs holding dark glasses and has crunch will it 2hko level 71 haunter with 143 hp evs hasty nature 30 hp IVs 15 def IVs
<DNA> what why
<bacon> its realy important to me
<DNA> then calculate it yourself
<bacon> I cant math
<DNA>...fine. Brb​

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As DNA consults his calculator and turns away, I sneak in Poundcake and obliterate his Spearow, who probably took enough damage to be KO'd twice over. Yes. I killed Spearow's ghost.

<DNA> -__________-
<DNA> Fine, we'll play it like that.
<DNA> See, I didn't want to tell you, but...
<DNA> There's something wrong with your Pikachu.
<bacon> tell me something I dont know
<DNA> No, no. Look at it from behind.​

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<DNA> Why is the cheek placed behind the ear like that?
<DNA> Or is it even a cheek? Look at the way it is shaded. It's shiny. Is it an eye? Or is it a pimple?

IMAGINATION​

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<bacon> NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE​

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I hastily retreat Poundcake before the temptation to rip out my eyes and dip them in holy water becomes too great, and send out Juicebox. This gives Eevee a free turn to Tackle me, but it basically does nothing. Juicebox proceeds to kick Eevee. Twice. In the face. And then the battle is won.

<DNA> whatever at least my starter can evolve
<bacon> wait you mean I cant do that?
*DNA has left #route
<bacon> wait dna come back what

With nothing else left to do, team bacon heads for Pewter City! With Juicebox learning Double Kick and Fidget weilding Confusion, I'm pretty confident about taking on Brock. Let's go team WOOP.

Oh and after lots of grinding in Viridentalplan forest THIS HAPPEN​

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WOOP WOOP. The first evolution in the game! Look at that manly 22 Special stat... And with Confusion too! Fidget has no counters. It's basically Hydreigon. Or Metaknight.

We'll leave this chapter for now. On the next episode of Pokemon Yellow: Hard Mode, we'll be taking on Brock! Or.. maybe someone ELSE? Well, let's take one last look at the team before we depart.​

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RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

In Yellow version the Pokemon gym leaders use are a bit higher level just to let you know that. I think Brock its a level 14 Geodude and Onix. It might be 16 though. Make sure to use Nidoran-M to take on Brock so you don't lose Butterfree to Rock Throw. I'd recommend getting it to evolve first. You'll want to keep Leer so you have a safety net against Bide as well.

So far it seems like you've had good luck. Hopefully that continues for you.
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

I thought it was 10 Geodude and 12 Onix. Or maybe it was 12 Geodude and 14 Onix. I know it wasn't higher than 14 in Yellow.

I just want you to know that my sides hurt now from laughter from reading this. Especially that Kronar works at the Poke Mart.

...wait? You're going out with my sister? Why didn't she tell me ;-;

Edit:
[2:34:14 PM] Jaroslaw: Why doesn't PMJ just get unpaid college interns like normal professors?
[2:34:45 PM] DNA: he gets unpaid teenage interns instead.
[2:34:54 PM] DNA: he 1-upped everybody.
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

<bacon> if my granbull has 23 IVs in atk and is level 41 and is maxed out in attack evs holding dark glasses and has crunch will it 2hko level 71 haunter with 143 hp evs hasty nature 30 hp IVs 15 def IVs

Since DNA is scum and didn't tell you, depends on the Haunter's defense EVs. Up to 112 is a guaranteed 2HKO. 224 or above is a guaranteed 3HKO. In between is varying % chances for 2HKO.
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

Sometimes I have jokes that I can't really squish into a chapter without breaking a flow, so...

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Chapter two, coming to a thread near you soon!
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

What a shame I won't be around for a couple of days. :/

When I get home, I'll read all of this crap and laugh my butt off. xD
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

I better get redeemed later in the story

THAT IS ALL





please keep writing this it makes me laugh
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

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please continue this beautiful work, scampy. C:
 
RE: BaconLocke: Pokemon Yellow Hard Mode

CHAPTER 2​

I emerge from the thickets of viridiana forest after hours of Thunder Shock spam, thorns biting into my clothing and singed feathers from roasted Pidgey stuck in my hair. Poundcake, now slightly more buff, tails behind me and grins stupidly at the office blocks rising above the horizon. Pewter city, at long last...

My friends are injured, so first we check out the PokeCentre.​

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I'm not sure what it's saying but judging by the Chansey's suspiciously neutral expression it probably can't be good.​

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<PBGuest> I'm spraying REPEL to keep POKEMON out of my garden! :eek:
<bacon> but pokemon don't hang around in short grass...
<PBGuest> Then I guess that makes this...
<bacon> A REPEL WITHOUT A CAUSE
<PBGuest> wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<bacon> woooooooooooooooolafibhoegf anyway gym time​

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After wrecking the light years kid, I approach the gym leader. But... this isn't Brock! Who IS this!?​

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<bacon> oh what happened to brock?
<riskbreakers> brock quit
<riskbreakers> he got depressed after so many ohkos from bulbasaurs and squirtles
<riskbreakers> so he needed another asian to take his place
<bacon> but your overworld spite doesn't look asian at all
<riskbreakers> fine hang on​

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<bacon> better!
<riskbreakers> let's get this over with...
<riskbreakers> seriously I have to still use geodude and onix
<riskbreakers> enjoy your free badge​

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ALRIGHT TEAM LET'S DO THIS. My general plan is going to be spamming Harden with Fidget, and once Riskbreakers can't touch me I'll ruin him with a barrage of Confusions. This way, Fidget can catch up in terms of levels, and I also get to enjoy destroying the Rock gym with a Bug / Flying Pokemon of all things.​

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<geodude> dude.
<bacon> what?
<geodude> DUDE.
<bacon> WHAT?
<geodude> DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
<bacon> WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
<geodude> geo geo
<bacon> oh...

Surprise surprise, Geodude faints after doing precisely almost nothing in battle.​

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<+v onix> RGGGGGAGEEGHSDBBHJ
<bacon> jesus

Geodude was a pushover, but Onix could be a different story. What if it can squash me with Rock Throw? What if it can wipe me out with Bide? What if it can wear me down with Screech? What if​

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<bacon> oh :I
<bacon> gg​

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WOOP.

<riskbreakers> wait take this too
*riskbreakers gives bacon TM 34
<riskbreakers> you deserve it man!
<bacon> but bide is terrible
<riskbreakers> exactly :D
*bacon was kicked from #gym (riskbreakers)

After beating Riskbreakers, I heal up at the PokeCentre and get cussed by Jigglypuff some more, before making my way to the route east of Pewter where JuiceBox single handedly annihilates every Pokemon foolish enough to step into his line of sight.​

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We head on over to a fresh patch of grass and BADUMD UDMDIM​

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Not sure if want? But ah well, it's here, it's got early game Normal STAB, it's got a cute sprite. It will DO.​

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Neemed Floss because teeth???

With a new team member and the perils of Mt Moon ahead of us, we have to become stronger or else this very playthrough may become endangered. So... TRAINING MONTAGE. IN THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW.

[MASHES A BUTTON]​

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[MASHES A BUTTON]​

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MASH MASH MASH MA​

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....wh...hngtffl...?​

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hndjfenlfejl? :c​

I... look away from the screen for ten seconds, tops, and come back to find myelf erasing the *one* thing that ever so slightly *redeems* Poundcake.​

...
see you next time on baconlocke...​
 
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