Writing Celever's Interactive Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness Wedlocke ~ Chapter 3 Posted

Celever

Wheeeee~
Member
Pretend I have some artistic merit and made an amazing banner here. :U
Heyo all and welcome to my first attempt at a Ruins of Alph playthrough! After being inspired by the great @Athena and a playthrough @NotJim did on another site, I've been wanting to do something similar for a while. I was thinking of stepping outside of my comfort zone and throwing myself in at the deep end, but then I decided that was dumb and chose one of my favourite games, second only to its prequel Pokémon Colosseum, which I'll probably do afterwards if people don't think this is horrible and/or somewhat enjoy it! Also just to be clear about this now, Thena spoils us with daily updates and I could never hope to match that. I'm going to aim for weekly updates, but let's be real, it'll probably be more like every other week. >~>

Game Introduction
If you're on this site I'm assuming you know a thing or two about Pokémon. However, I wouldn't blame you if you don't know much about Pokémon XD: Gales of Darkness, as this is a game that sort of slipped through the cracks when it was released, selling only just over 1 million copies -- over half the amount of its predecessor. I love the game because it takes the Pokémon formula we all know and love and applies it to a totally different setting. The plot's better and more meaningful (though naturally still nothing super special) and they're actually difficult to the point of cognitive processes being necessary... which can't be said for most of the handheld games. The level curve is generally balanced and the randomness of wild encounters is taken out, meaning you don't spend a long time searching for rare Pokémon. The most important difference, however, is that (almost) every fight is a double battle, which makes for much more interesting strategy.

What's a Wedlocke?
You can find an explanation of what a wedlocke is in PokéBeach's Pokémon Playthrough Centre. However, because of a few differences in Pokémon XD: Gales of Darkness, there are a few changes to the rules:
  • In a regular wedlocke you can only capture one Pokémon per area. However, in Pokémon XD: Gales of Darkness there are no routes and only 15-20 locations in the entire game, so I'm just catching everything. There's about 70 Pokémon in the game, but a large proportion of these (probably a third) are found in the final area, so it balances out well.
  • If a Pokémon of one gender dies in battle they have to be replaced by another Pokémon of that same gender in the battle until there are no Pokémon of that gender left. If a Pokémon of one gender dies and then the deceased Pokémon's partner dies, the Pokémon who originally replaced the first dead Pokémon's partner must switch in, if they have one.
  • If my Pokémon's level exceeds that of the level of a boss or major fight, they cannot be used in that fight unless all other Pokémon in my party die in the fight. Oftentimes people straight up release Pokémon if they become overlevelled, but considering the amount of required trainers in this game and the fact that I'll be aiming to also fight all of the optional trainers, there will be a lot of EXP input to my team.
  • No Bulbapedia or other research, either. I know this game inside out anyway, but sometimes it still manages to surprise me.

Audience Interaction
The title promises interaction with you guys, and this will happen in few ways.

First of all, there are a few decisions to be made before the playthrough even starts. Two of these choices are mechanical and the other is purely flavour, which should (hopefully) enhance any enjoyment you might get out of this! :p

Choice 1: Pairing Sexualities
Traditionally, wedlockes use only hetero pairings. This isn't because the creator is a homophobe -- restricting who can be paired with who adds another element to the challenge and makes it more difficult. However, other players prefer to allow for gay couplings too, removing the restriction. I've never seen this version of the challenge done, but I've also done variations where only homo pairings are allowed, which keeps the restriction in place.

So, these are the three options you have for pairings:
1. Keep it traditional and only pair male Pokémon with female Pokémon.
2. Get rid of the restriction entirely and pair Pokémon with whoever they want to be paired with.
3. Go full on rainbow and only allow same-sex pairs.
4. (Courtesy of @Athena). The dice decides on sexuality! When a Pokémon is caught, a D6 is rolled. 1-2 means the Pokémon is straight, 3-4 means it's gay and 5-6 means it's bi/pan.

Choice 2: Eeveelution
This choice will have a much smaller effect, but it's still important. The starter in Pokémon XD: Gales of Darkness is an Eevee, and in the third location of the game after very few battles have taken place, we get giving the opportunity to evolve it. As this game is Generation III, only the first 5 Eeveelutions are available to us: Jolteon, Flareon, Vaporeon, Espeon and Umbreon. All of these are actually totally viable choices, though naturally Flareon's STAB attacks using its weaker offensive typing in this generation means it's a slightly weaker option than the other 4. I'm honestly fine with whoever you guys pick, though, so just go with your favourite!

Choice 3: Naming Other Notable NPCs
This option is definitely the most fun! All the notable NPCs in the game will be named after PokéBeach users! There aren't actually that many super notable characters, so I'm stretching the term a little bit and opening the floor to more minor characters too. There isn't a lot of good art on these characters either due to poor representation on the internet, so if you want to see what they look like I'm afraid you'll have to google them and check something like their Bulbapedia page :p.
Major Characters:
Character 1: Michael
A.K.A. generic silent Pokémon protagonist number 2 many. Oftentimes in these playthroughs the main character is named after the author, but I think it can also be super fun as a writer to write in the style of someone else. If y'all want to stick to the "avatar" character being the author of the series then you can vote me into the spot, but if you want to take the lime light yourself, go ahead!

As for the character himself, Michael is a little older than the traditional 10 year old protagonists; he's supposed to be an early adolescent. Passtimes involve riding around on scooters, playing hide and seek with the most annoying sister ever and training his battling prowess against holograms.

Character 2: Jovi
A.K.A. the most annoying sister ever, this chick was kawaii before it was cool. She refers to herself in the third person and pretends to cry when things don't go her way. She has an odd friendship with a mad professor and his assistant, but her Mum doesn't like her seeing him. Likes playing hide and seek and not looking where she's running, because she's dumb like that.

Character 3: Prof. Krane
A.K.A. compulsory generic professor, though Prof. Krane does play a slightly larger role than most professors. He runs the Pokémon HQ Lab, where Michael lives before setting out on his adventure. He plays a key role building a key machine during the adventure, which is a bit of a plot point. He can't do any wrong and has a habit of preaching to the evil team about how evil they are, just in case they happen to change their mind about being evil. When put in difficult situations he reacts with pacifism.

Character 4: Lily
A.K.A. actually likeable and role-relevant Mum; the only one in the series. Lily's another scientist at the Pokémon HQ Lab and she's the mother to both Michael and Jovi. Seems to only really care about Michael, as she lets Jovi have relationships with creepy old men who live in haunted houses, but gets protective over Michael when he has to go there. Lost her husband. Bit of a player in school, rejecting Prof. Krane before the happenings of the game. When in a difficult situation she gets stuff done.

Character 5: Mr. Verich
A nice old man who helps Michael and Jovi out when they get themselves in a jam near the start of the game. The writers of the game tried to make him enigmatic and mysterious before an interesting reveal at the end of the game... but they failed, and everyone I've talked to who've played the game also figured out what role he plays before the end of the game. Besides being poorly written, he has two aides, Ardos and Eldes.

Character 6: Ardos
Mr. Verich's blue aide. Super close to his Dad and kinda closed minded. He doesn't play a huge role until right at the end of the game and I don't want to spoil so this is all you get n_n".

Character 7: Eldes
Mr. Verich's red aide. Believes in giving the best to his Pokémon and cares about other trainers. Despite achieving a high status with Mr. Verich as his bodyguard, he questions his motives for doing so. Actually very likeable despite not appearing in the game that many times. Like Ardos, there are some spoilers here; his character's deeper than this.

Character 8: Chobin
Carrying on the aide theme, Chobin Dr. Kaminko's number 1 assistant, because Chobin Dr. Kaminko's only assistant! ^.^ Like Jovi, he's super kawaii and refers to himself in the third person (not to mention his permanent duck face). Hates robbers and likes to protect his master from them. Likes robots.

Character 9: Dr. Kaminko
Not a hugely important character in and of himself, but the relationship between Chobin and whoever we choose Dr. Kaminko to be could be cute. Kaminko sees practicality in the most obscure places and many of his inventions are hated throughout Orre, despite selling fairly well. The mad guy who actually has a good relationship with Jovi. Lives in a haunted house.

Character 10: Marcia
Marcia is a reporter for ONBS (Orre News Broadcasting Service). She's known for her rash personality and charges into awkward positions head first. There are three news reporters in the game (Ancha and Pofty are the other two) but because Marcia is more plot relevant, she gets to cover all the bases, so we'll pretend like the other two don't exist for this playthrough.

Character 11: Miror B.
The Michael Jackson of the Pokémon universe, if you haven't listened to his themes before then treat yourself to those links. I prefer his Colosseum theme myself. :U He's rocking a PokéBall 'fro and 80s style latex. He has a dream: to capture every Pokémon in the world. Though just him and his two cronies might have a tough job ahead of them accomplishing that. He was a Cipher Admin in Pokémon Colosseum, but because everyone loves him, he's the only one who got brought back. :p

Character 12: Zook
A thug who doesn't think before he acts, to the point where he would pummel little kids. Gullible and scared of punishment, the tough guy attitude is pretty much just a front, though his lack of empathy is authentic. Cares greatly about his appearance. I'm not sure why he's a recurring character or what he's supposed to represent TBH; he's just kinda there lol.

Character 13: Naps
The catalyst for Michael's journey and sister of Lovrina. Isn't against violence against other humans. Plays a somewhat small role in the game, but he appears a couple of times and is more plot relevant than a lot of other "major" characters so I'm including him.

Character 14: Lovrina
And now we're onto characters we know are part of the evil syndicate Cipher, who are the evil team in this game. Lovrina is like totally so fabulous and amaze gorge!! :3 She's the head researcher at Cipher but talks like a 15 year old girl and kind of acts like one too. She also kinda talks like I do, so I like her, myself :v. A lot of her Pokémon are about love and are just cute in general, like Luvdisc, Delcatty and Roselia.

Character 15: Snattle
A corrupt politician who kidnaps a city of people to help his campaign. He doesn't sound very good at his job to me personally, because that's a lot of votes he loses. He's promised the role of chancellor of the Orre region once Cipher takes over it by the leader of Cipher. Specialises in Water-Type Pokémon.

Character 16: Gorigan
A Cipher admin with huge brawn and good brains to match. He runs a Shadow Pokémon production factory for the criminal team. Has worked his front muscles so hard that his arms always hit the floor. Seems to be on fairly bad terms with the head of Cipher, but because he's such an efficient worker and has actual passion for the syndicate he retains his status.

Character 17: Gonzap
The head of Team Snagem. These guys are an evil team of Pokémon snaggers who side themselves with Michael because Cipher backstabbed them in Pokémon Colosseum, so their goals aligned. Gonzap's a big macho man with a killer moustache, and despite his bad boy exterior he's got a heart.

Character 18: Wakin
Gonzap's right hand man. Wakin is the best Pokémon villain because he actually has his Pokémon attack trainers, which is something fans still cry out for in the series, blissfully unaware that it happens in this game. Wakin's got two sidekicks -- Agrev and Biden -- but neither of them play a notable role besides being background characters and Michael fights each of them once, so Wakin will take over all their parts. The Pokémon he attacks trainers with is a Gloom using Sleep Powder.
Michael: Celever
Jovi: Camoclone
Prof. Krane: Vom
Lily: Athena
Mr. Verich: DNA
Ardos: professorlight
Eldes: Prof. Palutena
Chobin: scattered mind
Dr. Kaminko: Brave Vesperia
Marcia: Shining Raikou
Miror B.: Water Pokémon Master
Zook: PMJ
Naps: thegrovylekid
Lovrina: Miyami~~
Snattle: Empoleon_master
Gorigan: TwistedTurtwig
Gonzap: bbninjas
Wakin: Skyleaf2000
Your part isn't over once the playthrough begins though!

Choice 4: Death Replacement
Inevitably, Pokémon are gonna die in this challenge. What Pokémon replace the dead, however, is up to you guys! At the end of every update I will have a recap of Pokémon in my PC, so whenever it's relevant we'll take a vote to sort out their replacement.

Choice 5: Nicknames!
This should be fun though; who doesn't love nicknaming their Pokémon? I'm actually really bad at it and oftentimes don't bother, but this is a wedlocke so it's always a nice thing to do. :D If more than one nickname is suggested I'll pick my favourite one, so you might as well throw in a suggestion whenever you can!

Chapters
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
 
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Oh gawd it's XD. This is bringing back some memories. I loved the game even though I had no idea what I was doing half the time :p.

I'd vote for Umbreon myself but I like the Eeveelutions so I don't really care which one gets picked. I'd also go with number 2 for the pairings. I don't know who to pick for the names except that you should be Michael and Miror B. needs to be someone who fits his, er, interesting (but awesome) personality.
 
Choice 1:
I like option 2 the best since it allows for more fluidity, but it also seems to be significantly easier. May I offer an alternative? Each time you capture a Pokémon, roll a D6 (6-sided die). You can do this online if you don't have any dice of your own. If you roll a 1-2, the Pokémon is straight and can only be paired with the opposite gender; 3-4 is gay and can only be paired with the game gender; 5-6 is bi-/pansexual and can be paired up with anyone.

If that's too fiddly, then I'll stick with 2.

Choice 2: Umbreon! \o/

Choice 3: I'm really bad at naming characters after members (which is why I always make other people do it for me), but I'd totally nominate myself for Lovrina because villains are awesome.

I guess we'll have to wait for later for the others.
 
Thena's version of Choice 1 is super interesting! n_n I'll add that to the OP as option 4 so if everyone thinks it's a good idea we could go with it. I feel like there's a chance it'll get a bit difficult to follow properly for you guys, but if there's a death I suppose I'll point out who's eligible to pair with them to boycott this as much as possible. :)
 
I feel like option 4 is the most interesting out of the four, so I'll recommend that! I'd be cool with Eevee evolving into Jolteon or Umbreon. I'll have to follow along! :p
 
Thena's version of Choice 1 is super interesting! n_n I'll add that to the OP as option 4 so if everyone thinks it's a good idea we could go with it. I feel like there's a chance it'll get a bit difficult to follow properly for you guys, but if there's a death I suppose I'll point out who's eligible to pair with them to boycott this as much as possible. :)

You could always do coloured symbols like //♀ and //♂ for straight/gay/bi Pokémon next to their names in the list for easy reference or so. Should be relatively easy for people to keep track that way.
 
Choice 1:
I'd say option 4, because every game/playthrough that includes dice blocks is fun! Ehh.. except when a d20 is included.. :p

Choice 2:
It looks like Umbreon is the most favourite so far, so I am voting for Vaporeon!

Choice 3:
Jovi kind of represents me, except the whole Kawaii part or the annoying part..
 
Option 4, because it's the best option. I could also lend you my D20 :p

Supporting these because I helped come up with them.
Here's what @thegrovylekid and I came up with.

Michael:
@Celever
Jovi: @Camoclone
Prof. Krane: @Vom
Lily: @Athena
Mr. Verich: @DNA
Ardos & Eldes: @professorlight and @Professor Palutena, not necessarily in that order
Chobin: @scattered mind
Dr. Kaminko: @Brave Vesperia
Miror B.: @Water Pokémon Master
Especially Jovi.

I'd also like @Miyami~~ to be Lovrina because it fits her personality :U
I'll be Naps, I guess.

Also choosing Flareon since Glaceon doesn't exist yet.
 
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I think the Ruins of Alph loves painting me as some kind of villain.

Though if I'm the one with the Shadow Salamence, I'd be totes down for it.

May I offer an alternative though?

Rather than name the NPCs after Beachers, name the Pokemon after Beachers (with you as the Eevee). The sexuality re: wedlocke rules would be determined by the Beacher's sexuality.
 
I think the Ruins of Alph loves painting me as some kind of villain.

Though if I'm the one with the Shadow Salamence, I'd be totes down for it.

May I offer an alternative though?

Rather than name the NPCs after Beachers, name the Pokemon after Beachers (with you as the Eevee). The sexuality re: wedlocke rules would be determined by the Beacher's sexuality.
I thought about naming the Pokémon after PokéBeach users, but in the end I thought it might be kind of awkward when users die. Plus there's over 70 catchable Pokémon, so I think later on we'd have difficulty thinking of users to use. Any users which aren't named after NPCs can be suggested as nicknames for Pokémon when we catch them, though!

And maybe in Pokémon Colosseum we could name the Pokémon after PokéBeach users if people think it's a good idea as there are less Pokémon in that game. Personally I think naming NPCs after users is more fun, but as the readers you're always right :p
 
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Michael: Celever (double o squirtle, Jabber, thegrovylekid) 3
Jovi:
Camo (Jabber, thegroyvlekid) 2, TheFlyingPidove (TheFlyingPidove) 1
Prof. Krane:
Vom (Jabber, thegrovylekid) 2
Lily:
Athena (Jabber, thegrovylekid) 2
Mr. Verich:
DNA (Jabber, thegrovylekid) 2
Ardos:
professorlight (Jabber, TGK) 2
Eldes:
Prof. Palutena (Jabber, TGK, Prof. Palutena) 3
Chobin:
scattered mind (Jabber, TGK) 2
Dr. Kaminko:
Brave Vesperia (Jabber, TGK) 2
Marcia: ????
Miror B.:
Water Pokémon Master (Jabber, TGK) 2
Zook: ????
Naps:
thegrovylekid (TGK) 1
Lovrina:
Athena (Athena) 1, Miyami~~ (TGK) 1
Snattle: ???
Gorigan: ????
Gonzap: ????
Wakin: ????

If the votes don't change then all the characters here will keep the proposed names besides Lovrina, who's currently in a tie. Once we finish nominating characters I'll start Chapter 1. I would start it now in spite of us not finishing nominating characters, but Zook will appear near the end of it so he at the very least needs to be named.
 
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Chapter 1 ~ Setting the Scene
In the opening cutscene, nothing really gets explained. There's a huge boat called the S.S. Libra in the middle of an ocean somewhere, travelling fairly calmly. Then a bunch of helicopters surround it and a huge purple bird/chicken picks it up with a destructive purple beam (purple = evil in this game) and throws all the humans off-board to slowly drown in the merciless waters. I mean, this is a pretty good summary of the entire opening cutscene:
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Suddenly, with no explanation whatsoever, battle!
Turn 1
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VS
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Salamence uses Earthquake on Metagross
Metagross uses Sludge Bomb
Turn 2
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VS
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Salamence use Earthquake on Metagross
Metagross faints
Celever wins!
<Celever> Alright! This is the best game ever, I start with a freaking Salamence!

Suddenly, the world disappears into digital blue lines and then darkness.

<Nameless NPC> Your training's done for today Cel. You're such a good battler dude, that Salamence rocks. You should totally think about training one one day! <3
<Celever> Wait, I don't have that Salamence now?
<Nameless NPC> Nope, that Salamence was just a hologram, remember? So was the guy you just beat in a battle, so I guess its not really surprising you just wrecked him hardcore.
<Celever>Wait -- what have I got, then?
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The D6 has decided that Eevee is gay!
<Celever> sadface.jpg
------
<Celever> Whatever, time to go see Vom I guess. Not sure what I'm meant to do around here since I have no video games or friends from what I can tell. Maybe he'll use me as a guinea pig or something, that'd be interesting at least. :U
<Vom> Ohey, it's the best battler ever! How are you? :D
<Athena> Hey my dearest son, even though there's basically no one in this lab, you're meant to make an appointment before seeing Vom. Go play somewhere else. <3
<Vom> Thena, he's like 10. Give him a break lol. Plus he's awesome at battling so y'know.
<Celever> Why does everyone keep telling me I'm a dope battler when I only have a Level 10 Eevee? ._.
<Vom> Well you're the best battler here in this tiny lab, and we have a lot of love to give. :<
<Athena> Cel's right, he's gonna get a huge ego if you keep giving him praise he doesn't deserve.
<Celever> Mum, you could've been a little less--
<Vom> Don't be silly Thena, Celever and Camo are super amazing and they deserve all the praise they get!
<Athena> Oh, now that you mention it, I don't think I've actually seen Camoclone today. Silly me :3
<Celever> Really Mum? You've got like one job...
<Athena> Shush shush, I'm very busy being a sciencey person. Go find her for me would you? She usually plays hide and seek with an unfortunate victim of the lab staff here, so go find Adon and ask him if he's seen her. Thanks dear ;D
<Celever> Fine...
<Vom> Oh, and I left you a present on your desk because you're such an amazing kid; go to your room and pick it up! It's like a phone but without games or anything fun on it -- really Thena just wanted to be able to nag you even when you're not around. ;)

Celever wanders downstairs, or takes the lift because this lab is way too high-tech and fancy to have stairs, and finds his room. There's very little in it besides a box with 3 potions inside of it and the P*DA promised by Vom. Celever then wanders around until he finds Adon in the most annoying place ever, and baby Celever might have had a lot of trouble finding him. :p Here's his hiding place:
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<Adon> Oh, hi Celever! Yeah, I'm playing hide and seek with Camo. I mean, I'm meant to be. I've kinda been here for hours and she hasn't even come into this room, but I thought it'd be better to just lie here and not alert anyone to her disappearance. You totally get it, right? <3
<Celever> So my little sister might have been kidnapped or seriously injured somewhere else in the lab and you were the only one with real knowledge of this, but you just cared about winning hide and seek?
<Adon> Uh... anyway... maybe she's at Brave Vesperia's manor? I don't know why she's so stubborn about having a friendship with that creep, but I also didn't bother to try and stop her or anything.
<Celever> Seriously? Do you care about my sister--
<Adon> My back's starting to hurt, though. Being such a good babysitter is hard work. </3
<Celever> -.-

Celever walks out the door of the room and gets interrupted again.

<Random NPC> Hey Celever! I don't have a name, but we're super bae, right? Come watch TV with me! <3
<Celever> Uhh, OK?
<Shining Raikou> My name is SR, and it's time for ONBS News. We still have absolutely no idea what happened to the huge cargo ship S.S. Libra since its sudden mysterious disappearance oooooh~~~~ There were lots of Pokémon on board though, so we're all kinda nervous about that.
<Random NPC> Well, that sounds fake. Boats can't disappear, silly news.
<Celever> Dude, you've got a human-sized yellow duck stood right next to you. Anything goes in this world...
Party:
Eevee
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Player Notes:

OK, so this was a hectic fortnight and a bit, apparently. I thought I was a couple of days overdue on this chapter at most. A lot of time was spent on deciding on formatting and such, though. Updates should be a lot less time consuming in the future. ;) On that note though, any feedback on the formatting etc. would be much appreciated. I'm thinking primarily about the battle layout here, since I think it looks decent but something still feels a little off about it. I promise to start with weekly updates though, so please stick around! <3

Onto the chapter itself, this is the generically boring prologue tutorial stuff. And Chapter 2 will be like that too -- we'll probably be playing up to where I was planning on getting to in Chapter 1 and maybe a little bit further. I just felt like this chapter was looking a bit long. Feedback on the length would be appreciated too :p.

Ordinarily, I'd talk about how the battles went and talk about the team here. But none of that happened. Lily/Athena (the Mum) is way ruder than I actually remembered her being while writing up the OP, so Thena was accidentally nominated into being a huge bitch for this playthrough. Whoopsie :s. I think she's a bit tsundere though, so maybe we'll like here in the end. I was super disappointed when I first played this game that we don't start with a Level 50 Salamence btw. :U

Anyway, in the next episode we'll go and find Camoclone at Brave Vesperia's manor, and then get introduced to like half the named characters! Depending on length, we might also catch the first member of our team, who might get paired with Eevee if they are male and either gay or bi.

Player Interaction:
Hey, we just got an Eevee! He's gonna evolve into an Umbreon looking at the votes so far, so nicknames need to be handed out. Go uh... go do that. ;)
 
Chapter 2 ~ This Game Has More Dialogue Than I Thought
<Celever> Ugh, guess it's time to go find my dumb sister. Brave's so weird too, I hate going to his house...
Celever arrives at Brave's manor
<Celever> Woah woah woah wtf is happening? The manor's electricity is attacking me! D: What's wrong with this emulator dude?
(I got the ROM working on the emulator perfectly, except for some reason the electricity's texture is messed up, leading to things like this:)
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<Celever> I need to get outta here -- let me inside the house!
<scattered mind> Wait! Don't enter the house! scattered is Brave's number 1 assistant because scattered is Brave's only assistant! Robbers go away ^3^
<Celever> Mate, I'm here to pick up my sister. You must find her as annoying as I do ._.
<scattered mind> scattered no let robber into house. Fite me bruh!
Turn 1
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VS
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<Celever> Really dude, a Sunkern? The game has so much confidence in me, my first battle is against the statistically weakest Pokémon in the franchise at half my Pokémon's level? Whatever, time to blow on him.
Eevee uses Tackle on Sunkern
Sunkern uses Absorb on Eevee
Turn 2
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VS
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Eevee uses Tackle on Sunkern
Sunkern faints!
Celever wins!
<scattered mind> scattered lost! :< Angry scattered no lets people into house either!! >:0
<Celever> Seriously dude--
<scattered mind> OMG subject is only a child so he's probably totally not a burglar. Why didn't you say so? Head on in! ^.^
<Celever> ...
<Camoclone> It's Camo time! :D What are you doing here Cel?
<Celever> I came to get--
<Camoclone> Celever get lost, didn't he? Camo knows ;D
<Celever> No, Mum made me come and get you!
<Camoclone> Nu-uh-uh! Camo knows, don't hide stuff from Camo. :3 Since we're still in tutorial mode, let me tell you about the area. This place is called Brave Vesperia's manor, and Brave is known for his amazing inventions. Come in and I'll show you stuff!
<scattered mind> Cel, you're that brat's older brother? She comes here sometimes and it's impossible to keep an eye on her. ;( Anyway, even though she just ran inside and we don't know where she is, come watch a video about one of the amazing Brave's inventions! o3o
<Celever> Nono, that's really not nece--
<scattered mind> My favourite invention of Vesperia Industries is the UNHEALTHY SANDALS! The soles are studded with lumpy nubs designed to numb ever pressure point in a fabulous way. When worn, scattered ensures a chronic worsening of health! scattered think this is superlative! <3
<Celever> How does anyone buy this? What kind of marketing fraud do you do!?
<scattered mind> If you want to find out more about Vesperia Industries' inventions, check this VCR whenever you want.
<Celever> lol, VCR. Anyway, Sis, let's get home.
<Camoclone> No! Camo want to look at funny drawings. :D
<Celever> Well I'm going back, you coming with or not?
<Camoclone> Camo had better go with you or you'll get lost again you dumby big brother! Camo take you home!! Come on Mimi, a random Minun stood in the corner, let's go home.
~~~~~~
<Camoclone> Ooh Cel get an e-mail!
<Celever> Yeah, Vom just wants to test something on me, it's nothing special.
<Camoclone> SO UNFAIR! Camo want to be tested on too. </3
<Athena> OML you're finally back. You're so stupid Camo, stop wandering off to see a creepy old man. >~>
<Camoclone> But Mummy, Celever was lost! If Camo weren't there, he'd be crying like a baby right now! :(
<Athena> Wow! Camo, you're one brave and resourcesful -- you're literally an angel! You should proooooobably go and find Adon though, he must be tired of hiding from you. :p
<Camoclone> Oh my God I was playing hide and seek! I'm so dumb lol :U
<Celever> Mum, what did you just say earlier about your kids getting over-praised?
<Athena> Oh shush, you. Go find Vom >_>

This is the hardest puzzle in the game. It's not meant to be a puzzle, but for some reason for the game to progress, you have to talk to this random, nameless guy:
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Literally all he says is "Vom ain't here, go downstairs". Truly instrumental to the story.
<Vom> Ah, there you are! What kept you?
<Celever> Just bad game design. What did you want to see me about? :L
<Vom> Here, take a look at this: the SNAG MACHINE!
<Celever> Mind if I uh, take the caps lock off in the future?
<Vom> But it's so dramatic! That's why items are all capitalised, right? :3
<Celever> I really don't--
<Vom> Anyway, has the awkwardly similarly named Aidan said anything to you about this machine?
<Celever> I legit don't even know which scientist that's meant to be...
<Vom> lol, well, the snag machine is a machine designed to snag Pokémon!
<Celever> Thanks, dude. Really helping me here. Just give me an interactive tutorial and we'll be all good. ;)
<Vom> Nah dude, this machine should only be used in the incredibly unlikely event that a random criminal team decides to start using Shadow Pokémon again like they did 5 years ago in only this region!
<Celever> This seems like a really productive use of this scientific research facility's time! [/sarcasm]
<Vom> It uh, looks super neat though, right? Here, how about we give you a super dramatic close up shot to exemplify this? :3
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<Vom> Better? :>
<Celever> Yeah, I guess. If we've got this much dialogue about this piece of junk it's gonna be story important anyway, so I'll keep it on.
<Vom> OK, time for the tutorial. Let's head up to the battle simulator upstairs and generate some fake Shadow Pokémon!
<Aidan> This is my only story relevance. Don't screw this up Aidan, come on dog...
<Aidan> I almost forgot to give you these Cel -- take my balls!
<Celever> o_O
<Aidan> They're uh, PokéBalls. Like what your Eevee's in? In the words of Shauna, "the Pokémon go INSIDE the PokéBalls!"
<Celever> But I only fight in battle simulators. Don't you think it's weird that you're giving these to me right now before we're heading upstairs to try and catch fake Pokémon with fake balls?
<Vom> *screams* OMG who tf are you? GET OUT!!
<Nameless Receptionist> Some strange men just came and took Vom!
<Celever> And I'm the best battler in this whole building, right? With a Level 10 Eevee? I'm seriously meant to take on some kidnappers with this thing?
<Nameless Receptionist> Guess so. Good luck! ;D
~~~~~~~
<Vom> Where are you taking me? ;3;
<thegrovylekid> Hehe, we're taking you to your new lab, prof!
<Vom> You could have called ahead first! n_n'
<thegrovylekid> Oh shush, hurry up or we'll hurt you because we're super evil and stuff! ^3^
<Celever> Ooh, I'd better run straight at them like in the movies! :D
<thegrovylekid> Huh, a kid? Trying to play hero? I'm a big evil bad guy, so I don't even show mercy to kids. ;)
<Vom> Hey Cel, this guy uses Shadow Pokémon!
<Celever> Damn, it sure is convenient that you gave me this snag machine 5 minutes ago. Otherwise we'd be kinda stuck, huh?
<Vom> Well, you did want a tutorial -- this weird guy holding onto me kinda stops me from taking you upstairs to the battle simulator, lol.
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<thegrovylekid> Hey dude, you should probably put Vom in the van while I fight this kid and distract him.
<Nameless Grunt> Naw, I wanna watch. Vom does too :3
<Vom> Screw fighting -- threw a PokéBall at it! You literally get no choice here, and it's a guaranteed successful catch. ;)
Turn 1
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VS
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Celever throws a PokéBall
Teddiursa is caught
Celever wins!
<thegrovylekid> You just snagged my Shadow Pokémon? How rude >:L Oh but here, have some money for "beating" me. Anyway, where'd you get that machine?
<Nameless NPC> What if that machine he just used to snag your Pokémon is a Snag Machine? :O
<thegrovylekid> Woah, what if you're right? We need to report it to HQ!
<Celever> Hey, I just beat you; you have to let Vom go now, right?
<thegrovylekid> Sorry kid, this is Orre, where us villains have a modicum of sense. We'll still be taking the prof. See ya! ;)
~~~~~~~~
<Camoclone> Camo no want Vom to leave. *cries more*
<Athena> Grow up Jovi; Vom's fine, and you've been crying for 2 hours. I've taken all the painkillers for my head I can and it still hurts. >_>
<Camoclone> *calms down*
<Aidan> We've called the police. The police in this region are super shit, but I get another line of dialogue! :D
<Athena> Vom guessed that someone would make more Shadow Pokémon in this region again, which is why we devoted 5 years of our lives to some high tech stuff which had a real likelihood of never being used. Good thing he was right! ^.^
<Aidan> But how can we finish the Purify Chamber without Vom? He basically did everything around here lol.
<Athena> Yo, give me some dramatic camera shots and I'll be super inspirational. Good? Alright, "we'll finish the Purify Chamber ourselves!! LET'S COMPLETE IT WOOOOOOH!"
<Celever> I think you're forgetting that you and Vom were the only people here with any competence. Most of the staff can be found watching TV or hiding under tables from your daughter. u_u
<Athena> Oh shush, we've basically finished everything anyway. I'll get you to fetch the last piece in the next chapter and it'll take us like 5 chapters to install that component anyway lol. Now I'm gonna be the epic hardass I am and go check on our data processing! >:v
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The D6 has decided that Teddiursa is gay!

Eevee
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Teddiursa
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Pairings:
Eevee - ???
Teddiursa - ???
??? - ???
Player Notes:
As hinted to in the title, this game has way more dialogue than I thought it did. I had no idea how long this chapter was because in reality this is 10 minutes of my normal gameplay where I just skip all the speech. I thought we would get to the next area, do all the story there and catch 2 Shadow Pokémon in this chapter, but that'll probably be the entirety of Chapter 3 plus a little bit more. This chapter in itself took me about 4 hours just because I'm trying to make a relatively unfunny game at least readably humorous :p

Was admittedly a little bit disappointed that Teddiursa and Eevee aren't a good match, as Umbreon and Teddiursa have really nice synergy. They're both weak to Fighting-Type Pokémon, but besides that, their roles and movesets are very complimentary. Until we can get more Pokémon, these two will be fighting together anyway, though. Depending on the genders and sexualities of the next two Pokémon, we might even start having to box Pokémon next chapter! o_O On the topic of Teddiursa itself, I'm actually a big fan of it in this game. It gets interesting moves like Metal Claw when purified and can be a powerhouse for the early-game.

In the next episode we'll edge on the story a little bit more. Wooh! Hope this isn't too boring for you all already. >_>

Player Interaction:
We still need a nickname for Eevee, soon to be Umbreon (next episode). Teddiursa now needs a nickname too. ;)
 
I nominate Eevee/Umbreon to be named Tsukiyomi after the Shinto (Japanese religion) moon god of the same name.
 
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