Writing Cinesra's Stockpile of Short Stories [PG-13 for hilarity]

Cinesra

Aspiring Trainer
Member
This is pretty self-explanatory. I will be posting short-stories in this thread and maybe poems, too. Here's my first entry. Others will be added later.

It had been a long time since she had last enjoyed one of the finest parts of life as a woman. She had gone so long without it in her life that her days had felt empty and boring without it. Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore after hearing some snide remarks in the bathroom at work.

She had become so desperate that she looked online for help. Luckily she had quickly found an advertisement for a great place with many good reviews, and even better, it was close by. But, it was pricy so she would have to wait until her next paycheck. She didn’t know how she would bear it until then. Even though each day her agony grew, she endured the wait.

When the day arrived she was almost too nervous to go. It had been so long, she feared she had lost her former skill. She thought of what she would tell them if they commented about it. “I never have time to do it, although I could if I didn’t have to work so much.” Although this was the truth, she didn’t think they would believe her.

The woman entered the building and with a nervous smile teasing her full lips, sank down into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having heard her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender she allowed his foreign hands to reveal her bare flesh, making her uncomfortably self-conscious about her shape.

He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to new heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. He was an expert. She had never enjoyed herself doing it so much before in her life. He had been trained well. Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long.

Just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, “it’s too big! It’ll never fit!” Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. It was the perfect size for her body. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze with tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.

And he knew it wouldn’t be long before she returned. Oh yes, this woman would want more. It had been so long since she had last had a taste of this succulent fruit. She was addicted now. She would want to spend all the money she could get here. His expertise had drawn her in, and now she would continue to hand them money.

And so she did. Whenever she could, she would go back. Every time she came back, more and more she would learn. Each experience was a new one, and she would never get bored. They even eventually coerced her into trying black ones, despite her reluctance. They saying was wrong; once she had gone black, she did go back. She would return again and again and again and….DON’T YOU JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES?
 
RE: Shadow Arceus's Collection of Short Stories

You may want keep stuff like this to a minimum (or at least give a slight heads-up by posting a rating, in this case PG-13 for insinuative irony). There are still kids here and I'm pretty sure older readers (myself included) were thinking of this as something other than "shopping for shoes"... Otherwise, I thought it was pretty decent (I didn't give it a thorough read yet, since it is just a one-shot) and hope to see more.
 
RE: Cinesra's Stockpile of Short Stories

Back by popular demand(lol I'm the only one who still remembers this thread), I have another short story to add. This is my story from The Challenge, but with the formatting fixed. It got a good score, so I figured why not.



“Ha, I win again!” Zeus exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air before taking another bite of pizza.

“You always win,” Hades remarked glumly, setting down his controller.

“You got lucky. Let’s go again,” Poseidon demanded.

“We’ll do it later, bro. Remember that we’re going to the bar tonight. It’s a pretty popular thing, so I figured we should experience it,” Zeus replied. “Now get dressed, and remember your names. If anyone asks; I’m Michael, Poseidon’s Sean, and Hades is Eddy.”

“Why do I have to have the worst name?” Hades complained.

“Isn’t it shocking how Zeus wants to go to the main place mortals pick up women?” Poseidon questioned accusingly.

“Hey, it’s an important part or mortal life. If we really want to get to know the modern mortal world better, then we ought to learn about how they have social lives and pick up women. That’s why we’re living in this boring apartment for now,” Zeus answered, taking a look at the plain walls and furniture.

“Yeah, I’m sure turning into animals doesn’t fly anymore. But, I’ve heard that golden showers are still popular,” Poseidon joked.

“This is the guy who gets the most out of us three,” Hades said, laughing with Poseidon at Zeus.

A little red in the face, “Hurry up and get dressed,” Zeus commanded.



“…And that’s the story of how I met Jonah Hill,” Zeus said, busy hitting on several women in the bar.

A few stools down, all by himself, Hades was downing drink after drink, glaring at his brother. Poseidon plopped down on an empty stool next to him.

“How’s it going bro? You don’t look too happy,” Poseidon implored.

“Look at him over there, he always gets the women. I don’t get it. What makes them all attracted to him? Why can’t that be me?” Hades answered.

“Tell you what, I’ll give you some advice. Just tell me a girl you’ve got your eye on and I’ll help you out,” Poseidon offered.

“You’d do that for me?” Hades asked.

“Sure, bro,” Poseidon replied, nodding.

“Well, that redhead over there is pretty cute.”

“Nice choice. Okay, what you need to know is to compliment her, be yourself, but…nicer and more optimistic. Ask her about herself, mortal chicks dig that sort of thing. And the most important part of all is to remember…” Poseidon paused and looked around before continuing his sentence by whispering into Hades’ ear.

“That’s asinine! There’s no way that can really work,” Hades responded, baffled.

“Trust me on this, bro. Now go get her,” Poseidon said with a smile before gently pushing his brother off his seat toward the redhead. With his stomach as uneasy as a sailor in Siren territory, Hades walked over to the redhead seated at the other side of the bar. He sat down next to her.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Hades asked her.

“Sure, thanks,” she replied with a smile,” I’m Kayla.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Eddy,” Hades answered,” So…uh…do you come here often?” he asked nervously.

“No, actually, I’m new in town. Just got a job here, so I’m still getting used to the Big Apple,” she replied.

“That’s cool, me, too. Where do you work?” Hades asked.

“At Sato Law Firm,” Kayla answered.

“That’s great, you should join me and be my queen forever. Together we can have many children and rule over the entire Underworld. Please say yes, my love,” Hades said with passion.

“Oh, um hey, look. I have to go,” Kayla responded uneasily, looking at her watch. “I’ll see you again sometime,” she said with a scared chuckle before practically racing out the door. Depressed, Hades walked back over to Poseidon.

“It didn’t work,” he said. “You did good, bro. Just don’t ask her to be your eternal wife next time. Go try again on the blonde over there,” Poseidon answered before pushing his brother back out. He finished another drink before turning back around to a loud sound. Hades had knocked over his seat and was now standing there, seething, his hand glowing with green fire.

“What’s wrong?” Poseidon shouted. “She was only talking to me to get to Zeus!” Hades answered, shaking with rage.

“Oh…I’ll leave now. I’ll see you two at the apartment when you work things out,” Poseidon responded before walking out the door.

“What’s wrong, bro?” Zeus asked.

“YOU, LET’S THROW DOWN! IT’S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!” Hades shouted. He raised his arms and the ground beneath their feet ripped open. Numerous demons crawled out from the flaming green chasm in the ground that led to the Underworld. The monsters charged at Zeus, but he easily dispatched them with a lightning bolt. He walked over to his brother, and put his arms around him. Hades broke out into tears.

“What’s the matter?” Zeus asked.

“I just wanted a girl to notice me without me having to kidnap her. You’re always the one getting all the attention, I’m always in your shadow. I just wanted someone to love me. Why does it always have to be you?”, Hades said, sobbing.

“Hey, bro. Poseidon and I notice you. We’re your brothers, we love you. You’ll find a girl someday. You are immortal, after all. I promise to try to stop taking the attention that you deserve from now on. Now cheer up and let’s get some ice cream. It’s on me,” Zeus offered, smiling. Hades pulled back and wiped his face.

“Thanks, bro. How are we going to fix the giant crack in the floor?” Hades questioned.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix it up and then wipe all their memories of you going crazy. Now, come on. There’s a banana split with your name on it waiting for you down at the ice cream shop,” Zeus said. He snapped his fingers, fixing everything, before the two walked off to go get their ice cream.
 
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