General Writing Discussion Thread | Current Topic: NaNoWriMo

le Roi-Soleil

le Roi-Soleil

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The Ruins of Alph General Discussion Thread
Welcome to The Ruins of Alph!​
The Ruins of Alph General Discussion Thread is an open thread for the discussion of fan fiction (fanfic) ideas, getting useful advice and feedback for your work, creative writing discussion, and general discussion of literature. Please, feel free to discuss anything related to literature, as long as you keep the general forum rules in mind. In The Ruins of Alph, we strive to maintain a peaceful, safe and constructive environment for all authors, so, naturally, spamming, trolling, and flaming are strictly prohibited. Criticism is encouraged, so long as it is constructive.

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RE: The Lounge

I usually have trouble starting out stories. I know the first few paragraphs are crucial in writing a story, but the only sentences I can think of to start them is usually in first-person. The problem with that is, I would have to go the rest of the story while using first-person, and I'm not that great past maybe a few sentences with it.

tl;dr version, and probably less confusing, are there any good tips to help me write an opening sentence(s) in third person view?
 
RE: The Lounge

Yay! A place to give me some tips on writing!
Well, I've got this AWESOME Assassin's Creed Fanfic I'm writing, and I was wondering if I could post it here.
Aside from that, does anyone have some general tips for doing a Fan-Fiction? I wouldn't want this to be cheesy.
 
RE: The Lounge

Keep it interesting, don't go too overboard with dialogue, don't get too off topic during major action scenes, lots of describing, don't use run on sentences, use lots of different word variety (ex. don't call something the same thing twice in a row. Like instead of Pikachu, say the Electric Mouse), don't start all of your sentences with the same word, and ALWAYS DO SPELLING AND GRAMMAR CHECK >:O

EDIT: Off topic, just its that you and I both have the same post count.
 
RE: The Lounge

@ShadowLugia: Pro-tip: Show, don't tell.

Telling: The assassin was a skilled killer.
Showing: The assassin swiftly sliced the man's neck with such precision that the cut turned out to be a perfect straight line.

Know the difference.

@Hatman: You shouldn't have any reason to feel the need to start intros with First Person unless you're thinking of intros like "My name is this. I am that. I do these things. I want to do that." That kind of intro is a direct violation of the "Show, don't tell" rule. If that's not it, will you please specify what kind of intro you're thinking of?
 
RE: The Lounge

Thanks guys! Great advice from both of you. I'm familiar with a lot of the basic English rules (top score on my ACT was English :p), so please don't worry about that. And that's a really interesting piece of advice, you gave me, Twig. I'll start experimenting with that, and see if I can use if proficiently in my writing. (Are you an Assassin's Creed Fan? Your segment was incredible!) Any other suggestions, anybody? I want this to be an acceptable piece, whether I get one response or one hundred responses.

Also, Hatman, you're right! We have the same post count! How cool... oops, never mind. :D
 
RE: The Lounge

This is a great idea, Apollo!

I have a few short-stories in mind myself, but I'm not going to work on that until I'm pretty far into my newest fan-fic. I intend on rewriting the first chapter of my new fic after final exams. I've sort of put my fan-fic "Captivity" on hold, as I've hit a dead end on where to take it from a certain point that I'm not going to reveal for obvious reasons. Hopefully I'll have a good update sometime next week, Thursday at the earliest.

Another thing I'm really putting first is, like Twig said, to always keep in mind to show, rather than tell. I get nervous when it comes to descriptive language, with me it's usually either I completely lack description, or I've put so much fluff into my story it's just about unbearable :3 However, I feel that I've gotten significantly better with that, and hopefully both my revision of chapter one and the upcoming chapter two of Gentleman's Society will show this improvement.
 
RE: The Lounge

@Twig: Like, should I introduce my characters name in the first sentence, should I introduce the basic setting, other important things, etc.
 
RE: The Lounge

@Hatman: No. Introduction does not equal information time. You explain names, settings, and other description through showing. You don't say, "My name is Ash Ketchum". Instead, you can have someone else call out his name, or some other way. You don't say, "I live in an area with a lot of buildings." Instead, you can say "The city's inhabitants were covered in the skyscrapers' shadows." Explain things through examples and experience. Show, don't tell.
 
RE: The Lounge

I'm not that much of a noob to writing. I meant like, "The wind was blowing through Bob's hair," or something along those lines.
 
RE: The Lounge

The direct approach is almost always best. But, introducing the character's name right away isn't always the best thing to do. For instance, a previous draft of Feral Twilight's prologue, I introduced a younger version of my character Dr. Felicia Barnes in the dialogue by having her teacher mention her name rather than just doing so right away in the narration. However, I got some pretty negative input because of that and altered it to a more expected format, i.e. in the first sentence. Personally, I think that style takes away from the mystery and suspense a bit, but a lot of people don't expect you to put it in a bit later on like I first did. Really, it's just a matter of preference, I think.
 
RE: The Lounge

I think introducing the character's name in a later period is fine as long as it's not too far away from the beginning, but if it seems like you're trying to avoid saying the character's name for no reason or you could have mentioned the character's name earlier on without producing problems for the story, then something's wrong.
 
RE: The Lounge

To answer Hatman's question, it somewhat depends on the genre you're writing, but a more direct approach with your characters tends to be better. However, since it's the introduction, some people tend to blow it off by giving us a full-blown introduction (takes too long and drains momentum), and others just make start out in the middle of action (could work in some cases, but unless it's needed for some reason, it appears pointless).

Yes, you want to make an introduction to get the reader's feet more comfy, but do it so that you aren't just talking to is all the time, AKA please skimp on boring declarations ("Bob knew that today was the day" / "Bob has been a trainer for four years now"). If you want to put a fact in, don't say that fact as is. As Twig put it, "Show don't tell" (A rather broad generalization that several great writers break, but it's a very safe path, I assure you).
 
RE: The Lounge

Well, here is how I began on of my stories...

The white light reflected off the snow seemed to be a cold, winter light that shined off the ground. I stamped my feet into the ground, making my territory marked with footsteps. I flipped my brunette stands of hair out of my face as I stamped my feet on the floor-mat, then walked inside.

Just kind of make something that seems...average...and with detail, make it suddenly un-average.
 
RE: The Lounge

Well I am doing at an AU of Pokemon XD, but it is really hard to pull off, especially a game like XD and coliseum. The most random people in the game have shadow Pokemon and I don't know how I should show the capture of it. Should I summarize it or should I just show the battles where the character captures the shadow Pokemon?

~NZ
 
RE: The Lounge

@aggiewyn:
The white light reflected off the snow seemed to be a cold, winter light that shined off the ground.

There's a couple problems. I don't think light can be cold, and I've never heard of a winter light. What does this winter light look like? Is it just light in winter? And does it only "seem" like winter light? Is it something else? This sentence also has redundancy. On the first part of the sentence, you said it "reflected off the snow." Then later, you said it "shined off the ground." It's basically the same thing.

I stamped my feet into the ground, making my territory marked with footsteps.

Why is this character stamping the ground? Is this person mad? It might just be me, but I never call my land "my territory." It just seems awkward, unless this character is a Pokemon, but I doubt it since you used "feet" instead of "paws" or some other foot-like appendage.

I flipped my brunette stands of hair out of my face as I stamped my feet on the floor-mat, then walked inside.

Again, redundancy. This person must be really angry with him/her stomping on everything. Also, I think you meant strands instead of stands. Anyways, I don't see the point of this whole paragraph. It was just told us there's snow, light, and an angry brunette who "walked inside."

@Negative Zero: Noob Question: What is an AU?
 
RE: The Lounge

Twig said:
There's a couple problems. I don't think light can be cold, and I've never heard of a winter light. What does this winter light look like? Is it just light in winter? And does it only "seem" like winter light? Is it something else? This sentence also has redundancy. On the first part of the sentence, you said it "reflected off the snow." Then later, you said it "shined off the ground." It's basically the same thing.
Click to expand...
A cold, winter light. You never experienced it? There's a significant difference between the summer light and the winter light; the summer light is much more warm, sometimes too warm, making the atmosphere a bit sluggish, whereas the winter light is simply coolly illuminating. I remember Faulkner doing the same thing with the air, where the winter air is so severe, you can "smell the cold."

You don't necessarily have to match sense with respective adjective as long as there's a purpose behind it.
 
RE: The Lounge

@Twig: Alternate Universe. It's where the writer takes something that is "canon" and twists it. It may have the same principles as the canon, but it is usually different. Most of the time, in AUs, the author expands on an idea that is lightly presented in the canon verse.

~NZ
 
RE: The Lounge

@NegativeZero: Yeah, I read a fanfic on Pokecommunity once that dealt with a similar idea, but with Pokemon Colosseum instead. As far as the summarization versus full-on depictions go, I say stick with full on depictions. The guy who wrote it tried summarizing a couple battles near the beginning of his fic and, frankly, they sucked. You might be able to pull it off, but personally I like things better when they're written out as though they're currently happening. However, something you might also consider is cutting out some of the random Shadow Pokes. I'd stick more with major battles instead of just grunt ones (though do include the Power Rangers Hexagon Brothers, or at least if I recall that's what the six color-suited guys guarding the labs in the desert were called in Pokemon XD...been a while since I played it, so I'm probably wrong).
 
RE: The Lounge

@Zyflair: I guess I've experienced it, but I've never heard of it until now. =/
 
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