Good day, dear reader,
I have decided to embark on a Nuzlocke adventure of my own. This is far from my first Nuzlocke, but it is the first one I’m documenting. The rules are simple:
- Catch the first Pokémon — and only the first Pokémon — you find in every region.
- Every Pokémon must be given a nickname.
- Any fainted Pokémon is considered dead, and must be released.
- A white out means Game Over.
I’m also following the following self-imposed rules:
- No items may be used during battle, except for Poké Ball.
- The battle style is set to “set”.
- No healing items may be used, ever.
The game I’ll be playing is rather odd, though. It is a badly (I assume automatically) translated version of Pokémon Green, the original Pokémon game. To make it even weirder, however, I have decided to randomise the game, according to the following rules:
All this means that I will have no idea what Pokémon I’ll encounter, what moves they’ll have, and even what those moves are (as they’ll be badly translated, you see?). The badly translated game will also mean I’ll no doubt end up in some bizzare conversations, so this should be quite a bit of fun!
Chapter I: Life, Love and a Nintendo 64
Here we go!
The first thing I see as I enter the wonderful world of Pokémon is this old bloke talking about how he used to be super respected, you guys. As someone who has just finished university, this feels remarkably familiar.
Okay...
After endless rambling and some disturbing imagery I finally reach the end of his lecture.
I have no idea who this Pokémon is, but we both agreed to call it "Spoon". To complete our dinner table we agree to call the other thing "Fork".
(And don't you dare forget it!)
After some more rambling I enter the body of this "Spoon" and am transported to a room somewhere. This all seems a bit odd, but the room has a Nintendo 64, so I'm not complaining.
At this point I realise I'm rather hungry, so I order some takeaway.
All they have is "Wound Cure", though.
I decide not to push my luck on that one. Following the advice of my N64...
...I decide to go downstairs and encounter what seems to be Spoon's mother.
She's been watching some dubious TV shows and forces me out of the house. My eyes are immediately drawn to a local beauty who just so happens to walk past my door. I straighten my shirt, flatten my eyebrows, check my breath and make my move.
Crap, she's one of those types. I quickly move along.
When trying to leave this town I get stopped by the old man, who tells me the grass is "bery dangerous". He takes me with him to his "laboratory" where he needs me for some "experiments".
I quickly learn that the old man — who claims to be a doctor of sorts — is incapable of even the simplest of arithmetic. He does however offer me (and Fork who’s also there) a "Pet". I readily accept. This "Pet" will no doubt prove to be a valuable asset when trying to court the pretty girl I encountered a while ago.
He offers me 1 of the following 3 Pets:
The choice is obvious. I give my new Pet a fitting nickname, and quickly check its stats.
Holy Justice League of America, Batman! It's a Superman type! There's no way I can lose now!
Crap.
Fork puts away his club and smugly walks away, leaving Bob lying on the ground in agony.
Bob's painful accident does have its upside. I have aroused the sympathies of the girl who, after somestalking careful observation, I have noticed does nothing but walk in front of my house all day.
We watch the sunset together. As I rub her belly, I inform her that I have to leave on an adventure. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure where I'm going, how long I'll be away, or even who I am, but I know I have to do this. She looks me deep in the eyes and says:
END OF CHAPTER I
I have decided to embark on a Nuzlocke adventure of my own. This is far from my first Nuzlocke, but it is the first one I’m documenting. The rules are simple:
- Catch the first Pokémon — and only the first Pokémon — you find in every region.
- Every Pokémon must be given a nickname.
- Any fainted Pokémon is considered dead, and must be released.
- A white out means Game Over.
I’m also following the following self-imposed rules:
- No items may be used during battle, except for Poké Ball.
- The battle style is set to “set”.
- No healing items may be used, ever.
The game I’ll be playing is rather odd, though. It is a badly (I assume automatically) translated version of Pokémon Green, the original Pokémon game. To make it even weirder, however, I have decided to randomise the game, according to the following rules:
The randomised settings are as follows:
- Impossible evolutions are made possible
- The starter Pokémon is random, but will always be part of a 3-stage evolution
- Movsets are random, but are biased towards moves of the same type as the Pokémon
- Game-breaking moves like Sonic Boom are removed
- Trainer Pokémon are random, but will have similar strength as the original Pokémon.
- Wild Pokémon are replaced randomly selected Pokémon with similar strength. The same number of Pokémon will still appear per area.
- Static Pokémon are randomised.
- Legendary Pokémon can only randomly replace legendary Pokémon, so no legendary Pokémon will appear in tall grass.
- TM moves are randomised.
- TM/HM compatibility is randomised, but biased towards attacks of the same type as the Pokémon being compatible.
- In-game trades are completely randomised.
- Field items are randomised.
- Impossible evolutions are made possible
- The starter Pokémon is random, but will always be part of a 3-stage evolution
- Movsets are random, but are biased towards moves of the same type as the Pokémon
- Game-breaking moves like Sonic Boom are removed
- Trainer Pokémon are random, but will have similar strength as the original Pokémon.
- Wild Pokémon are replaced randomly selected Pokémon with similar strength. The same number of Pokémon will still appear per area.
- Static Pokémon are randomised.
- Legendary Pokémon can only randomly replace legendary Pokémon, so no legendary Pokémon will appear in tall grass.
- TM moves are randomised.
- TM/HM compatibility is randomised, but biased towards attacks of the same type as the Pokémon being compatible.
- In-game trades are completely randomised.
- Field items are randomised.
Chapter I: Life, Love and a Nintendo 64
Here we go!
The first thing I see as I enter the wonderful world of Pokémon is this old bloke talking about how he used to be super respected, you guys. As someone who has just finished university, this feels remarkably familiar.
Okay...
After endless rambling and some disturbing imagery I finally reach the end of his lecture.
I have no idea who this Pokémon is, but we both agreed to call it "Spoon". To complete our dinner table we agree to call the other thing "Fork".
(And don't you dare forget it!)
After some more rambling I enter the body of this "Spoon" and am transported to a room somewhere. This all seems a bit odd, but the room has a Nintendo 64, so I'm not complaining.
At this point I realise I'm rather hungry, so I order some takeaway.
All they have is "Wound Cure", though.
I decide not to push my luck on that one. Following the advice of my N64...
...I decide to go downstairs and encounter what seems to be Spoon's mother.
She's been watching some dubious TV shows and forces me out of the house. My eyes are immediately drawn to a local beauty who just so happens to walk past my door. I straighten my shirt, flatten my eyebrows, check my breath and make my move.
Crap, she's one of those types. I quickly move along.
When trying to leave this town I get stopped by the old man, who tells me the grass is "bery dangerous". He takes me with him to his "laboratory" where he needs me for some "experiments".
I quickly learn that the old man — who claims to be a doctor of sorts — is incapable of even the simplest of arithmetic. He does however offer me (and Fork who’s also there) a "Pet". I readily accept. This "Pet" will no doubt prove to be a valuable asset when trying to court the pretty girl I encountered a while ago.
He offers me 1 of the following 3 Pets:
The choice is obvious. I give my new Pet a fitting nickname, and quickly check its stats.
Holy Justice League of America, Batman! It's a Superman type! There's no way I can lose now!
Crap.
Fork puts away his club and smugly walks away, leaving Bob lying on the ground in agony.
Bob's painful accident does have its upside. I have aroused the sympathies of the girl who, after some
We watch the sunset together. As I rub her belly, I inform her that I have to leave on an adventure. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure where I'm going, how long I'll be away, or even who I am, but I know I have to do this. She looks me deep in the eyes and says:
END OF CHAPTER I