Writing Into the Darkness (A short story, Please Comment!)

Should I write stories, poems, or both?

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Clownshateu2

RIP Pokemon TCG: 1996 - 2011.
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*Locked for overall bad formatting and coming in under the required word count. Just revise this so it's longer and double-spaced, then post it again if you wish. Thanks.~Incinermyn

Here is my first story I've wrote here, so please enjoy!

"Running, God, running in circles like I was mad, no not mad, I didn't end up here, I was just following the angels!" A sobbing man proclaimed as he shifted his shackles left to right.
"What the hell happened on that night!" Evans screamed, peering into the man's eyes with the leer of Death.
"They came, led me to salvation, got me away from those wreteched soldiers to salvation!" screaming again.
Filled with internal rage, I grabbed up a piece of glass, shoved it into his mouth, and ended his impunity with my own satisfaction, one swing after another.
"Just listen...." the man grumbled, tearing to see the sight of his own blood.
"The angels.....the voices,the symbol I have, you will see soon enough" he said, and at that moment, fell to his knees and released his soul.
"Know how the hell are we supposed to find out about the men who died on that night!" I proclaimed while we dragged the limp and shattered body upon the streets along with the others.
"Let us not stumble with haste, we will find out who did this" Evans suaved to me in the kind words he spoke.
Avast, we walked upon the war-torn streets, the dead, the dying, the disease, the cries, God, the cries!
Corner after corner, lane after lane, mounds, pyrimads of bodies touch the sky, and at that moment I saw somebody.
No not a person, but of that which belonged to the deitys themselfs.
Deciding to help, I sprinted towards the thing to see it only vanish in front of my mortal eyes.
"Follow"
"Understand"
"Wake"
"AHHH" I screamed, as I was becoming of one who belonged to the straight-jacket.
Stumbling, I fell upon the bodies at which I saw the phantom, and as I turned around, I heard the lone gun shot, I seen, I have tasted Death
That man, fell like a rock, upon the gravel street, longing a sigh of earthly troubles as he on his last string.
"Wake up, Adam" Evans cried
"Wake up"
Turning around, I saw that same ghoul that I saw earlier and began to pursue it.
Running, sprinting, I began to feel light, not lighter, more..... peaceful
At that time, the turning of my body introduced a bridge that the thing as stepped upon.
"Believe"
"Jump"
"Wake up"
Ignoring the voices, I ran upon the bridge till the most war-shattered part upon it.
You should have seen it, not crazy, not insane, but that thing, pointed down as I cornered it, mouthing "Believe"
"Your dead, bit**" I proclaimed as I ran to tackle and gain my retibution.
But with the speed, the devine power, it vanished, only happening to appear I was hanging upon the peice of wood, relating to me hanging for my Soul.
I turn my head to see that figure, that demon, that MONSTROSITY!
Attempting to pick up my gun that fell out of its sheath, I heard the final word from that being
"Let go"
"No!" I proclaimed, filling up with my own self ignorance and tears
"Let go" it said, and walked away, like a shadow in the night
Unable to hold on, closing my eyes, I let myself upon my Death
For one vast second, I felt the angels carrying me, seeing light, like a candle in the utter-most darkness. I'm at peace
"He's alive!" a man proclaimed as he shift around the medical supplies
I look around, seeing I am in a hospital with the bearing of a knife in my left arm, and upon there, I see the Symbol upon my arm. A cross.
 
It's sadly only 603 words. It has to be 1000 words, and the formatting isn't great either. I'm not sure how many full-stops I saw in there, but it was few. You also need to leave space between dialogue.
 
I like the concept but as Chiraami said, make it attractive for reading. Nobody wants to read a wall of text. Leave spaces. Emphasize points that you want to emphasize using italics etc.

What I'm trying to say is ... make it a bit more organized.
 
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