Writing Lucario and Aaron: Bonded Forever

LordDarkrai

commands you to die!
Member
I decided to write a story about Lucario and Aaron before/during the war. This is the result. Note: I am changing the whole thing today.
So Far:
Lucario and Aaron: Bonded Forever
-Prologue
-Chapter 1: Aaron the Human
-Chapter 2: Flashback (Short)
-Chapter 3: The Others
-Chapter 4: Training Day
-Chapter 5: A Spring, A Master, And a Friend
-Chapter 6: Unision in the Mountains
It's not done, I will add more as the story progresses on in my head.
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Prologue:
The crimson flames licked off of the golden dragon's jaws enveloping its opponent, a blue wolf like Pokémon, Lucario who did a series of flips to dodge the dragon attack.

Dragonite roared and began glowing golden Lucario jumped just in time to dodge the electric blast. He flipped and kicked Dragonite Square in the nose. It roared in pain and fell to the ground. He had defeated yet another wild Pokémon.

He was tired and he didn't know whether he could continue. A sharp spasm of pain emanated throughout his body. He winced.

Suddenly a sharp cry sounded. He turned around to see a Scyther it quickly jetted toward Lucario pinning him to the ground putting a scythe to his neck. It raised its bladed arm preparing to kill him. But suddenly a humanlike figure zoomed by. It stopped so Lucario could see its features.

He was pale with a blue cloak wrapped around its thin body. It pointed at Scyther and an orange colored dragon swooped down and grabbed scyther then hurled it at the ground. A crater stood where Scyther once stood. In it was Scyther too battered and bruised to attack the fire pokemon; Charizard.

"W-what is your name human?" asked Lucario.

"My name is Aaron," said the human

Then Lucario collapsed.


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Chapter 1: Aaron the Human

When Lucario woke up he found himself in a small room. He came to a window. The sun was shining. He checked his body. His wounds were tended to.

He rushed outside in search of his rescuer. “Hello Lucario, did you sleep well” asked the human named Aaron.

“Yes” said Lucario plainly, although he really was grateful for the Human rescuing him.

“Well that’s good” Said the human peering at the sky. Lucario looked and saw a Charizard and a Pidgeot. “These are my Pokémon, the Pidgeot is wind, and the Charizard is Flame.”

“Your Pokémon?” he sputtered in disbelief. He had never heard of a Pokémon willingly submitting to a human’s control.

“Yes” answered Aaron taking out a berry of some sort. “I was wondering, and I know this is a difficult decision to make but-“he paused “Will you- Join me?”

Lucario thought over this for a moment. His pack was gone. He was the only one left. He had nothing back there. He sighed. “I accept your offer.”

“Good then” replied Aaron. Touching the berry to his head, he dissolved into the Apricorn. It wiggled and Lucario broke out.

“You will not imprison me!” Lucario shouted.

“Fine then” he said. “You may travel as you please under my command” then he walked off.

Lucario ran from the human as fast as he could, staying with the human was fine but being commanded and even… captured by it? Never. Never would he trust a human again.

He jumped onto a building to see how far it was to the woods.

He was shocked. The buildings seemed to go on and on in a sea of grey and brown squares. He couldn’t see the forest.

How foolish of him just to trust a human he never even knew! He leaped down and ran into a dark area behind a building.

“Hello” said a voice. “We’ve been watching you” said another. Suddenly a duo of humans burst out of the Darkness.

“Well hello there.” Said a female Human. “Our names are Cyrus and Cirrus, but you can call us the Oak twins” they shouted as a water Turtle, Blastoise, and a Grass dinosaur Veunsaur came to the trainer’s sides.

“We would like you to join us” the two said pointing at him.

“Never! I promised myself never to trust a human again and especially not the likes of you!”

He jumped and tried to kick blastoise but a set of vines wound up and pinned him to the ground. “Daddy would love this one wouldn’t you agree?” asked the male.

“Yes Mr. Oak would love this” said the girl.

“Oh stop being so serious,” said the male “Loosen up a little!”

“I’ll have you know-“but the girl stopped when a piercing cry emanated throughout alley.

“Pidgeot!” shouted the hawk Pokémon. Aaron jumped off and grabbed both Oak twins by the neck. “Never bother Lucario or any other of my Pokémon again!” He shouted casting them aside. Venusaur let go of Lucario.

“Come on Lucario lets go home.” Said Aaron the human. Maybe he had misjudged maybe the human was alright.

He would stay for the time being. Yes. He would.


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Chapter 2: Flashback

A young Riolu held tight to its mother as they watched the destruction of their village.

War was always happening between the species of Pokémon on that mountain. The Tyrannitar attack the Lucario for their land the Lucario had attacked back. It was as simple as that.

A huge Tyrannitar’s shadow loomed overhead. Riolu clung even tighter to its mother but she shrugged him off. She then jumped up and released an Aura sphere at the Tyrannitar. It roared in pain and with a single blow struck the Young Riolu’s mother.

Riolu went over to her and shook her. A tear trickled down his face. His mother was dead. He faced the Tyrannitar and suddenly began glowing.

The glowing stopped and there stood a leaner more powerful Lucario.

He jumped and struck him several times with his fists then released a bright blue Aura sphere at the huge Armor Pokémon.

It shrieks in pain and falls to the ground. He had avenged his mother.

He entered the woods sobbing. He knew he would never see his mother or his village, ever again.


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Chapter 3: The others

Lucario slept for what felt like days, but his slumber was filled with nightmares. Nightmares about the human, the Tyrannitar, and the Dark Woods. When he finally woke it was around noon. He went outside. Standing at the door was the human.

“Greetings Lucario, I assume you have slept well?” the human said leaning on the odd staff with the crystal on top of it.

“Gr-gr-greetings Human” said Lucario, trying to relax himself.

“Today is training day.” Said the human.

“Training day?” questioned Lucario.

“Yes, we go into the woods to train.” Said the human.

“If you do not wish to come I will not force you, but I think the others would enjoy your company” said the human. “Would you like to meet them all?”

Lucario nodded, the Pokémon in which this human had befriended couldn’t be too bad.

“This is Flame” Charizard flew down and released a dazzling flamethrower. “Wind” Pidgeot flew down screeched. “Thunder” a tiny electric rat Pikachu zoomed forward. “And Earth” A tyrannitar was released from the berry object the human had used to capture him in.

“Tyrannitar!” shouted Lucario rushing forward and delivering a force palm at the rock dinosaur’s blue belly.

It roared in pain and released a hyper beam at Lucario who instinctively flipped and delivered a harsh blow to it’s forehead.

“Do you see what you have done in capturing this, this, Beast!” Lucario screamed at the human. “Tyrannitar destroyed everything I had to live for!” he shouted attempting to charge an Aura sphere.

“Lucario, stop!” shouted the human tackling him before he could launch the devastating attack. “I understand that you may be on bad terms with Tyrannitar, but my Earth is different, he won’t hurt you.

Tyrannitar nodded reassuringly.

“Fine, just keep him as far as possible from me” Lucario turned his back on the Tyrannosaurus pokemon.

“Well are you coming or not” said the human as if the incident had never happened.
“Fine” said Lucario and without a word he followed the strange Human who trained Pokémon.

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Chapter 4: Training day

It had been only several days since Lucario had been in the woods. The Dark woods, the terrible woods, Lucario had given many names to it.

A giant Iron snake was the first thing they encountered. Lucario was sent up to fight it. The huge snake growled swung its tail around, almost hitting Lucario, who jumped out of instinct and landed on the creatures head. He Delivered a force palm to the point at which he knew the creature was weak to and then flipped off of it and released an Aura sphere.

The snake collapsed, a cloud of dust setting off when he hit the ground.

“Nice Lucario, Steelix are some of the toughest Pokémon out here” said the human gleefully.

Lucario nodded, so that was what they called it, Steelix.

They only encountered a few wild Pokémon after that, all of which were easily defeated by Aaron’s Pokémon.

The next Pokémon Lucario had to fight was a Cacturne. Lucario Jumped up his palm glowing purple, blasting the cacturne back then it released one final kick and Cacturne was out fairly quickly.

“Lucario I’ve been wondering, what happened between you and the Tyrannitar?” Inquired the human.

“Nothing you need be concerned with” replied Lucario. Their training day was over and they were almost back to the city.

“Well Lucario farewell ,I dismiss you to your home.” Said the human.

Lucario entered the room. And shut the door. Sleep came easily, and for the first time in days, he didn’t have nightmares.


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Chapter 5: A Spring, a Master, and a Friend

Lucario would have liked to have slept in, but his antic awoke him. When he left his room Aaron was waiting for him like he did yesterday.

“Hello Lucario, I’ve been waiting for you, today we’re going to the spring.” Said Aaron obviously excited.

“What is this… spring, master?” asked Lucario obviously puzzled. He actually felt relaxed calling Aaron master, he wasn’t sure why.

“You’ll see” replied Aaron, the Human.

The walk to this alleged “spring” took a while. It was by the mountains. By his village.

When they reached the spring Aaron stripped off his blue cloak under which was a white undercloak, a white pair of pants, and a bluish overcloak.

He took off his boots too, and sunk his feet into the water. “Why don’t you sit down and soak your feet Lucario? It’s very relaxing,” said Aaron the Human.

“I’d rather not sir” said Lucario. Soaking in this spring would bring back memories, terrible memories of Tyrannitar and his dead mother.

“You need to loosen up” the human laughed pulling him into the water.

Lucario sighed, perhaps it wouldn’t be all bad to relax a little. The events of the previous days were a lot for him.

“Well?’ the human enquired fleetingly.

“It’s nice” replied Lucario, for it truly was very nice to remember the good times he had spent here, with his mother and father.
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Chapter 6: Unision in the Mountains

Lucario hated to admit it, but they were lost. They had left the spring taken a wrong turn somewhere in the mountains, and they were lost.

They had wandered for hours, and they got nowhere. “Let’s rest for the night,” Aaron said. “Pidgeot will take first watch.”

It was late at night when he heard it. A startling cry woke Lucario. Pidgeot was fighting a Lucario. A Lucario he knew well.

“I thought you were dead.” Lucario said. The other Lucario looked at him, as if trying to figure something out about him.

“R-rusty?” said the Lucario.

“Father is that really you?” Lucario replied, stunned.

“Y-Yes, I-I managed to escape the village b-before the Tyrannitar destroyed it.” He stammered.

“Well, come with me and my trainer, we have a lot to talk about.” Aaron rose from his tent.

“Yes I would be glad if you could come with me,” said Aaron, fully awake now. “Well let’s bring you to the village, you look awful scrawny”

He was right, his Father didn’t look like he had had a decent meal in months.

“Well lets go,” said Aaron jumping on to Pidgeot. The two Lucario following. “Let’s at least try and make it home.”
 
RE: Aaron's story

Too short. Some good imagery, but needs work in the grammer department.

Also, when using dialogue:

"What is your name, human?" asked Lucario.
"My name is Arron," replied the human.

Note the use of the "," between "name" and "human". If you read that sentance out loud, there is a natural pause there.

When switching to someone else speaking, start a new line. Also, when ever someone new talks, you must indicate who is talking. if it's going back and forth between two characters, it would go like this:

"What is your name, human?" asked Lucario.
"My name is Arron," replied the human.
"I see."
"And who might you be?"

You only have to indicate each character once if the dialogue is between the same two characters.

Please take this advice into account when writing.
 
RE: Aaron's story

I read Ch. 1 and it wasn't bad. Like Max said, you need to work on grammar. But I don't understand in Ch. 2 how he would just join him so quickly. He barely knows the person, you need to add some things where he trains with him, or he leaves him and runs into him again and then they become good pals. I don't know, but a strong and smart Lucario doesn't just join a human, it just isn't right.

I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but the story just doesn't flow.
 
Major updates! I'm changing the entire story, it's going through a massive update, please read.
 
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