Writing Motorbike stories.

I

infmach

can't get Bridgit Mendler out of my mind
Member
This is a fanfic about two robots, I am not a child! *licks his totsie roll*

Motorbike stories​
Prologue: The dawn of a crisis.
This is a story about two robots. They lived in a world, were robots were first thought to be slaves.But, it was seen that the robots had a personality. They liked people, they had hobbies, they did certain human tasks or chores. There was once an evil president in the USA, that wanted to finish with all the robots already activated. His plan was to go to each house that had a robot family, and murder them all. Of course some robots were with him, because he was the president. Some other families, like Hielo and Shot, were against this murder. So, they decided to protect themeselves at any moment, just in case they would attack them. One day they arrived.They could be seen miles away, it was a big group of soldiers who were lyal to the president. The Shot family tried to warn the Hielo family, but they were instantly killed. The Hielo house was next to them, so the youngest member of the Shot family, Ciber Shot, escaped to the Hielo house and took Icy, the youngest member of the Hielo family, and escaped with Ciber´s father motorbike.Hours later, Ciber found a good place to stay. He used his time to upgrade his father´s motorbike, then the stories begun...​

That is the Prologue, keep reading!
 
Very small, but Robots are just lumps of metal...

It's very good but please try and make teh other chapters longer, please :D

8/10!
 
Your chapters are way too short. Although the story line isn't that bad, you have absolutely no dialogue whatsoever. Just a few things to point out, that's all...
 
Because at first I am making a narration. Then the story will come, I think this should be the Prologue.
 
Chapter 1: Ciber´s safe place.
Ciber stayed in a Motel with Icy.They both thought that was the perfect place to be, in that moment of crisis. "It may be a long journey, are you sure you wanna do this?" Ciber asked to Icy, when the recpcionist went to look for the room´s key. "It is not the moment to think, it is the moment to act!" Icy answered with a smile. Icy was 11 years old at the moment, and Ciber 14. They were both friends. They did not play too much when they were neighbours, but I do believe that in this moment of escaping, they were best friends. "Ya know Icy,..." Ciber was saying while he was in the bed of the room "... I will never let anyone to hurt you". "You promise?" Icy said while looking for the remote of the TV. "I swear!". One day, Ciber had an idea. He thought about making a motorbike for Icy, with a defense mechanism. The motorbike would have an ice beam to freeze any enemy. Ciber upgraded his father's bike. He put it a great radioactive beam. Ciber was undoubtly a great engineer and mechanic. Icy was not really councious of what happened in the moment, though he was 11, he couldn't process so much information. He was more child. Ciber decided that they couldn't be any longer in the motel, he said it was too dangerous. "I present you!" Ciber said with enthusiasm "The only, the unforgettable, modified, Radioactive wheel!" He shouted while showing his father's modified bike. Icy was very surprised, he clapped and smile. "And now, just finished, the Deep Freeze bike" Ciber announced showing Icy his invented bike. "Oh golly! It is so awesome! Yay, I have a bike" Icy said, pretty excited. "It has a freezing beam, for your defense. And, it also has an automatic riding option, if you are tired." Ciber said, "now we will have to go to a temple that I 've heard, it suposelly has a big hammer that can give you freezing powers. We have to get it so you can defend yourself" Ciber explained...

End of chapter 1, keep reading!
 
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