Writing Murphy's Laws of Pokémon Combat

[ninetales1234]

Based on Murphy's Laws of Combat

1. Any resource you use to modify damage right now, you'll need later, too.
2. Anything you do can lose you the game, including nothing.
3. The strategy you've assured yourself is foolproof, will only be such, until you show it to someone else.
4. The easiest prizes always have some drawback.
5. Disruption Trainers, won't.
6. No matter how long you've worked on a deck, someone else has already made a better version.
7. Against a worthy opponent, your path to victory is never a straight line.
8. Count how many turns you think you have left until your opponent defeats you, then reduce that number by one.
9. Your impenetrable defense is only such until your opponent figures out how to penetrate it.
10. Whatever you need to win a mirror match, you will inevitably not have in your hand.
11. For every reason your new deck is good, there are two or more reasons your deck won't work.
12. Probabilities established during practice matches never hold up in tournament matches.
13. If you're winning too easily, your opponent has a surprise.
14. You will remember to perform a critical game action, two seconds after you say, "Pass turn."
15. Confidence is an asset and a weakness.
16. Build a deck to beat all of the standard strategies, and you'll get paired against mostly rogues.
17. "I'd rather have one and not need one, than need one and not have one," doesn't apply when you are limited to only 60 cards.
18. A series of easy opponents will give you wins, but also give you horrible Opponent's Win Percentage.
19. Imagine the worst possible scenario for you and the combination of cards your opponent would need to access to make it happen. Then, realize how unlikely that specific combination of cards is. Then, imagine it happening anyway.
20. A deck that is successful in your friend's hands, will fall apart in yours.

 

[chico]

Spoiler: I chuckled at

2. Anything you do can lose you the game, including nothing.
6. No matter how long you've worked on a deck, someone else has already made a better version.
8. Count how many turns you think you have left until your opponent defeats you, then reduce that number by one.
13. If you're winning too easily, your opponent has a surprise.
19. Imagine the worst possible scenario for you and the combination of cards your opponent would need to access to make it happen. Then, realize how unlikely that specific combination of cards is. Then, imagine it happening anyway.

These are so true lol

 

[ninetales1234]

"Rejected Laws" that didn't make the cut:

• The only format that's been completely perfected or optimized is the one you think about in hindsight.
• A deck with an acceptable win rate in a smaller tournament, can expect to have less success in a larger tournament.
  • Corollary: If a player's deck's win rate is unacceptable, they will redefine what constitutes an acceptable win rate.
• No game plan survives initial contact.
• Losses to superior players are predictable, but be prepared to face amateurs with too much luck.
• Thinking about your deck in the weeks leading up to an event, you use 30% of your brain activity. Thinking about your deck, in the seconds you walk to the deck-check with your decklist in your hand, you use 99% of your brain activity.
• If you're an expert on every deck, you're really an expert on none of them.
• When you predict what decks will be present at the tournament, you may guess right, but you will be paired against every deck other than the ones you prepared for.
  
• When you spend 5 percent of your effort deciding the last 2 cards of your deck, it will affect your results by 80 percent. When you spend 80 percent of your effort figuring out the last 2 cards of your deck, it will affect your results by 5 percent.
  
• The cards you put in your deck today, to help you defeat a specific deck, will be dead weight in your hand tomorrow, and reduce the ability of your deck to run consistently.
  • Corollary: If you take those cards out, your deck runs a little smoother, but you get paired against the unwinnable match you are now no longer equipped for.
• Whenever a deck becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either makes the deck no longer necessary, or complicates the deck beyond recognition.
• The components of a crucial two-card combo, will be available to you, at different parts of the game, never at the same time.
• A positive outlook can't hurt, but hope is not a strategy.
• Your opponent invariably defeats you on two occasions:
  -One turn before you thought you were going to lose, but weren't prepared for it
  -Precisely when you thought you were going to lose, but still weren't prepared for it

 

[AngryBokoblin]

• If you go into a box opening only wanting 1 certain GX from the whole set, you will not get that GX.

 

[ninetales1234]

• If you go into a box opening only wanting 1 certain GX from the whole set, you will not get that GX.

High five! Your comprehension of Murphy's Law as a general concept is noted. Nobody has written a "Murphys Laws of Pokémon Collectors and Booster Opening". This is an opportunity for someone like you to step forward!

 

[Charmaster:)]

High five! Your comprehension of Murphy's Law as a general concept is noted. Nobody has written a "Murphys Laws of Pokémon Collectors and Booster Opening". This is an opportunity for someone like you to step forward!

- Every pack in your sealed collection contains a chase card until you open it.
And no, that was not original, I read that somewhere on the internet. I just thought it seemed fitting.
Also, for the actual GAME:
- Your Pokémon will never be burned or poisoned until you decide to leave your Condition Markers at home.
- It is always during that crucial game when your need to use the bathroom reaches its peak.
- The cards you needed to win your prerelease will always be in the free bonus packs and never in the actual prerelease kit.
- When at a prerelease tournament draft, the pack containing the chase card also contains the card you need to make your strategy work like clockwork and which someone else is sure to take if YOU don't take it.
- Your opponent never spills Starbucks on the table until you bring your multi-hundred-dollar max rarity deck and favorite Japanese Pokémon Center playmat.
- The judge never uses the bathroom until your opponent shuffles his or her hand into his or her deck after being hit by Marnie.
- Prize Penalties are irrelevant when your opponent forces you to win the game by KOing two Three Prize Pokémon.
- Crushing Hammer always works during playtesting but never works during tournaments.
- When your local Pokémon Professor allows you to play vintage Computer Search in Expanded, the day you bring a vintage Computer Search is always the day another Pokémon Professor is standing in.
- The moment victory seems to be at hand is always the moment your opponent swings with Mew Unbroken Bonds for an unexpected and game-winning Knock Out. (Trust me, I've seen it happen.)

I know, many of these are highly specific and not necessarily based on any specific Murphey's Law (I read the Murphey's Law list a while back, but I can't remember much of it), but they captures the same mood and feel.