Writing My New Poem - Kanto (3) PART 1

[raichupika33]

Hey, hope you enjoy my poem!

Kanto Travels - Raichupika33

We start In Pallet Town,
Jumping up and down,
Where there is no frown,
Going to the lab,
See a Pokemon like a crab,
Charmander is chosen,
Don't expect to get this frozen!

Going up the route to Veridan City,
Being pecked by Pidgey is not pretty,
Seeing a Rattata,
Will give a Hyper Fang,
But Charmander dodged with a bang,
Veridan City has a big secret...

Now its time for Veridan Forest,
One thing now, not a florist,
Nasty Beedrill giving a sting,
Seeing the exit is like a 'bling'.

Pewter City, hard as a rock,
Now it is time for gym 'o' clock,
Brock is a tough stone,
So is his tone,
Sends out an Onix,
Little Charmander is being thrown,
One thing that can bring victory,
Is a nasty Metal Claw,
Onix faints as he sends a big roar.
Boulderbadge given,
The Onix is now forigven...

 

[PokeChamp]

Veridian city has a big secret seems out of place.

Again, this would make a funny rap, LOL! It sounds a lot like one, to me! Great job!

You are an artist, my friend, an artist!

 

[SixaxiS]

Lol, all your "poems" sound more like raps Maybe you should just call them that.


"see a pokémon like a crab" ??? makes no sense...

This sounds better

We start In Pallet Town,
Jumping up and down,
Where there is no frown,
Going to the lab,
Charmander is chosen,
Cuz the fire type is fab,
Don't expect to get this frozen!

"fab" being a short for fabulous, which is used quite often.

 

[PokeChamp]

^ I say it still sounds like a rap!

Just add Yo! In the beginning and you can't fail!

 

[Dark Marc]

Nice one I thought it did sound like a rap, but with Heavy Metaql and screamo voices it would fit in perfectelly on on iPod, nice one

Raichupika/10!

 

[Veritas]

I love your poems because they're very creative

I would again like to say it needs regular rhyme scheme with an equal amount of syllables (or just pacing) in each line. The syllables don't need to be strict but try to be consistent. To examine your rhyme scheme in every stanza this is how it looks (each letter represents a line and if the a line rhymes with another it gets the same letter)

AAABBCC

AABCCD

AABB

AABBCDEFFGG

 

[Dictator Dauntless]

It's like, the sort of thing you snap your fingers to at a coffee shop.