Writing My New Pokemon Poem (2)

R

raichupika33

Loving Wifi in my life...
Member
Hi, another poem I wrote, hope you enjoy it!

Pokemon Mystery - Raichupika33

Theres a Pokemon creation,
That will give you some education,
It could be a tight situation,
A Pokemon thats better than a vacation,
Like Giratina with no association,
Or Porygon with 2 different formations.

In the spark of Mt.Moon,
Jigglypuff shaped like a balloon,
There will be no rythme in the afternoon,
Clefairy will be coming soon...

Dialga and Palkia in the pillar,
Both of them are powerful killers,
Seeing them is a thriller.

Finally there is Tin Tower,
Which holds a ton of power,
History every hour.

Nothing beats a Pokemon Mystery...
 
^ I think this would be good as a rap. Try rapping to it. It sounds funny!

Great work. You should go to DOX's poetry caffee, or something like that. You can submit your poems there.
 
PokeChamp said:
^ I think this would be good as a rap. Try rapping to it. It sounds funny!

Great work. You should go to DOX's poetry caffee, or something like that. You can submit your poems there.
Click to expand...

Thanks.
I will probably post my 3rd poem in a few days. :p
 
Take all the time you need! Let the ideas flow to you, and your work will be even greater! That is the secret to art.
 
Well I am rubbish at art lol, the reason why you think my poems are good, cos its that I am good in English.
 
Art means more than painting. For example, what you have written here, could be called art. I wonder why they didn't like it?
 
^ A bit more than OK, if you ask me. I am decent at writing stories, but not at making poems.
 
Well, the way i read it, it sounds like you put a few randomly placed words together, and conveniently, they happen to rhyme :p

example:

raichupika33 said:
Theres a Pokemon creation,
That will give you some education,
It could be a tight situation,
A Pokemon thats better than a vacation,
Click to expand...

How do you put "some education" and "tight situation" together? There's no story in it, it's just a few random words that happen to rhyme.

Pokéchamp has a point though, if you rap to it, it kinda sounds like something out of a Rap Battle :p
 
Pokemon Rap: '09-Written by raichupika, edited by PokeChamp
Yo!
There be Pokemon creation,
It be given you some education,
It be a tight situation,
A Pokemon that be better than vacation,
Like Giratina wit' no association,
Or Porygon wit' differen' formations.
Yo, Peace!
 
It's a really good poem, like prof. Oak

Some points I would make is that the rhyme scheme isn't as consistent as it should be and the poem lacks a definite meter with too many syllables. I tried saying it to myself but found it hard to say without sounding weird. I would try connecting the last line to another line so there would be a rhyme scheme for the ending

Overall great job!!!
 
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