Writing My Pokemon Fanfic (On Hiatus)

Oliv17

Oliv17

Terra Ferma is in me!
Member
This is a Fanfic about what my brother and I think we would do if we lived in the wolrd of Pokemon! This post is not only an introduction, I will edit this to add character teams. (Full bios comign soon.)

Pokemon in italics are previously owned, or not in team.

Dylan
~Piplup, received in Chapter 1 (Page 1)
~Snorunt, caught in Chapter 3 (Page 2)
~Gible, caught in Chapter 3 (Page 2)

Jake
~Monferno, evolved from Chimchar in Chapter 7, (Page 5)
~Croagunk, caught previous to Chapter 6, used in Chapter 6 (Page 4)
~Drifloon, caught before Chapter 6, unseen (Page 4)
~Chimchar, received in Chapter 1, revealed in Chapter 2 (Page 2)

Chris
~Pidgey, recieved prior to Chapter 3, used in Chapter 4 (Page 3)
~Charmander, caught in Chapter 4 (Page 3)

George
~Shinx, ten seen in Chapter 6, only one used in battle (Page 4)

Lindsay
~Pichu, three seen in Chapter 6, Used in CHapter 8 (Page 5)

Jeremy
~ Magnemite, used in Chapter 9 (Page 5)
~ Onix, used in Chapetr 9 (page 5)​

Write on!
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(Please note I made all these names up)
Chapter 1

__Dylan woke up with a shock, quite literally. His father's Luxray had woken him up, using a Thunder Shock. "Hey! What was that for?" Dylan shouted angrily.
___"Well excuse me," his father said, "I guess you don't want your first Pokemon."
___"That was today? Oh no! Where is Jake?"
___"Already left. If you hurry up you can-" Before he could finish talking, Dylan ran out of the room, changing his clothes as he ran, leaving Luxray and his father. "Eh, kids."
___Dylan ran all the way from his house to the Pokemon Lab. He saw his brother holding a Pokeball. "Dylan!" he called, "Where have you been? I already got my Pokemon!"
___"Well you could have woken me up! So, what did you get?"
___ "You pick, then I will show you," Jake said defiantely. Dylan turned around and saw that there were only three pokemon left. If he had gotten there earlier he could have chosen from sixteen! The Pokemon that remained were a Bulbasaur, Piplup, and Torchic. Dylan considered each one, he needed strong Pokemon to win the Pokemon League.
___"I choose . . . Piplup."
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

It isn't bad. Grammar could be a little better. Also, think about your word choice. Try to really grab the reader's attention. But other than that, it is fine.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

PokeLen said:
It isn't bad. Grammar could be a little better. Also, think about your word choice. Try to really grab the reader's attention. But other than that, it is fine.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I will watch for that.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Oh one other thing. Try to make your chapter longer. I know it is like the first chapter and you just want people to know what it'll be about, but later on, try to make it longer. Because I read that really fast, it was hard for me to really get attached since I finished reading pretty fast.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

PokeLen said:
Oh one other thing. Try to make your chapter longer. I know it is like the first chapter and you just want people to know what it'll be about, but later on, try to make it longer. Because I read that really fast, it was hard for me to really get attached since I finished reading pretty fast.
Click to expand...

Yeah, when I wrote it it seemed longer.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

My advice that can really help with grammer and length:

Use Microsoft Word. Spell Check everything. Make it two-five pages long in MS Word. Copy and paste into a post.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Max Shade IV said:
My advice that can really help with grammer and length:

Use Microsoft Word. Spell Check everything. Make it two-five pages long in MS Word. Copy and paste into a post.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the tips, but it is really starting to sound to me that you guys just don't like this story.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

No, it's a good concept, it's just if you improve your writing style the story gets better. Having more detailed chapters will show your ideas better. Try it and see how it works.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

I like Pokeymanz said:
No, it's a good concept, it's just if you improve your writing style the story gets better. Having more detailed chapters will show your ideas better. Try it and see how it works.
Click to expand...

Okay, I am writing the second chapter now, but I am having trouble writing a battle scene. Can somebody give me a link to a well-written battle?
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

I can't think of any good links, but simply you just have to be descriptive. For instance, if I were to have my Chairzard use Fire Blast against my opponent's Venusaur, I'd say something like "Flames spewed out of Charizard's mouth and hit Venusaur, leaving it severly wounded."
It doesn't have to be a whole lot, just something like that is descriptive enough.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(I apologize for shortness, I had trouble coming up with ideas, and didn't want to give too much information in this chapter.)
Chapter 2

__Dylan walked over to Jake with his Piplup following. "You got a Piplup?" Jake asked with a hint of worry in his voice.
__"Yeah," Dylan responded proudly, "So, what did you get?"
__"I choose you! Chimchar!" With a flick of his wrist, Jake sent out his new Pokemon. Chimchar was clearly sad, but it was hard to tell why. "He seems a bit upset, but he will be happy after being on my team!" Chimchar looked over to Piplup, and climbed up Jake's leg.
__Dylan couldn?t help laughing. "Ha!" he laughed, "You and Chimchar look like twins! Separated at birth?"
__"I do not look like Chimchar!" Jake shouted.
__"Actually you kind of do," said one of the Pokemon Researchers.
__"Anyway, I guess I will be heading out. See you later, bro!" Dylan began to walk out but was stopped by Jake.
__"Hold on, Dylan. You have dishonored me! I challenge you to a showdown!"
__"Jake, we ain?t Japanese. You mean a Pokemon battle?" Jake nodded, and Chimchar hid behind him. "It looks like Chimchar isn't ready."
__"Look who is talking!" Jake said, he pointed at Piplup.
__"Piplup! Wake up!" Dylan sat down next to Piplup, "You don?t sleep before a battle!"
__The Head Researcher walked over to the two. "Well, I guess your parents were right when they said you two would want to battle each other the first day. Piplup and Chimchar are still young and weak Pokemon. It will take training before facing other trainers is easy. Try facing Pokemon along this route, heading north! There is a Gym a short ways away from the next northern town."
__"A Gym?" Jake said, intrigued. "I better get over there! Bye Dylan!" Jake left very quickly with Chimchar still on his head. He quickly grabbed a bag with all the necessary Pokemon gear inside.
__Dylan walked over to the table and grabbed a green bag. It had five Pokeballs, a Pokedex, and a map. According to the map, the town north of Jorjon Town is Macaden City. "I am going to Macaden City!"
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Mm form of how you write needs to change a lot.
Put "" when you want people to say something. Make new paragraphs when nessacarry.
Some of this your making paragraphs are useless and some too short.
Your fine on detail, but it needs some work.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Shadow_Master said:
Mm form of how you write needs to change a lot.
Put "" when you want people to say something. Make new paragraphs when nessacarry.
Some of this your making paragraphs are useless and some too short.
Your fine on detail, but it needs some work.
Click to expand...

Oh no! I did do " but PokeBeach messed it up! :(:(:(:(:(
It should be fixed now....
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

here's another advise. when making quotes make them seperate form paragraphs or in them.

Also don't indent every single little thing, also you might want to do it on word then post the chapters.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Shadow_Master said:
here's another advise. when making quotes make them seperate form paragraphs or in them.

Also don't indent every single little thing, also you might want to do it on word then post the chapters.
Click to expand...

I do write them on word first :p
PokemonRanger105 said:
it is pretty good so far, but try to make the chapters longer.
Click to expand...

Chapter 3 is going to be long, since everyone is begging for long! you all want something so i have no choice:shy:
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

I like Pokeymanz said:
I can't think of any good links, but simply you just have to be descriptive. For instance, if I were to have my Chairzard use Fire Blast against my opponent's Venusaur, I'd say something like "Flames spewed out of Charizard's mouth and hit Venusaur, leaving it severly wounded."
It doesn't have to be a whole lot, just something like that is descriptive enough.
Click to expand...

k, thanks dude
I am writing Chapter 3, and it is very long. It has a few important events in it though! I just hope it isn't too long and people don't read it :)
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(You wanted longer :p don't get bored please)
Chapter 3

__Dylan was going to Macaden City. It was a long way from Jorjon Town, but he could get some good training done. He called Piplup back into its Pokeball and walked out of the Lab. On route 751 powerful Pokemon are often released. Pokemon can sense the hatred and evil of the Route. In this route however, Pokemon had formed a pack, with Pokemon fighting for dominance. With all the full-grown Pokemon, there was also breeding. New trainers can usually find weak Pokemon to fight or capture. Dylan found a tall patch of grass and heard a noise coming from it. He peered in, and saw a baby Gible!
__“Hey Gible! I see you are a powerful Pokemon!” Dylan exclaimed, excited he’d found a Pokemon, “You’d be a great addition to my team! Come on out, Piplup!” Piplup came out and got into a battle position. Gible emerged from the grass and got ready to attack. “Use Pound!” Piplup slapped its body on Gible’s hard, causing Gible to cry out in pain! Gible recovered from the hit and charged at Piplup with a Tackle! “Piplup, oh no!" Piplup rolled back towards Dylan, and was defeated!
__ Dylan returned Piplup, and came up with a plan; “If I can catch a different Pokemon, I bet I can catch Gible!” Dylan walked over to a far off part of the route. He had seen some other trainers there getting very excited. He saw a Snorunt there! “Now I see why everyone got excited! An Ice-Type Pokemon is rare around here! If I catch Snorunt, I can easily catch Gible! I choose you, Piplup!” Piplup seemed to have recovered since its last battle. “Use your Pound attack!” Snorunt was hurt a lot more than Gible had been. “Again,” Dylan said, feeling more confident then ever, “Go Pokeball!” Dylan threw out is Pokeball and Snorunt was in. The ball shook on the ground. Dylan could feel his heart beat. Then, it stopped. Snorunt was captured!
__ Dylan used his Pokedex to identify Snorunt’s abilities and attacks. “Perfect!” he exclaimed, “Gible will be mine! I choose you, Snorunt!” Snorunt and Dylan marched back to Gible, who had just beaten another trainer. “Okay Gible! I am going to catch you this time! Snorunt, use Powder Snow!” Snorunt froze Gible right in its path! “Go, Pokeball!” Dylan threw the Pokeball, and caught Gible! “Oh yeah!”
__“Pretty good, kid,” said the other trainer who Gible had just beaten, “The name is Chris. I have a Pidgey, but as you can tell it was easily beaten. I guess I will get a Pokemon after Macaden City.”
__“I am heading there too!”
__“Cool! Want to travel together? I know that sounds a bit weird from somebody you just met, but I get lost and lonely.”
__“Sure! Here is my team of Pokemon! Come on out everyone!” Dylan sent out Piplup, Snorunt and Gible. “I am going to compete in the Pokemon league!”
__“Wow!” Chris exclaimed, “I am just going to get powerful, then go somewhere else and beat the Pokemon league really easily!”
__“Nice plan! Well, let’s get going!” Dylan and Chris walked the rest of the way to Macaden City.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Length is where you can start improving. At least two pages typed in Microsoft Word is good. I strive for five as much as possible, but am content with two. In Chapter Two, your apostrophies were replaced with question marks, which i'm assuming is some kind of mishap on the forums part. Be sure to use imagery. When you come into a town, explain EVERY detail. The closer attention you pay to detail, two things happen:

1. The reader becomes more interested because they can easily picture the scene you are painting.

2. It adds length to the chapter.
 
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