Writing Mysteries of the Mind - A Trainer's Vision (Latest Chapter = 23)

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RE: Mysteries of the Mind - A Trainer's Vision (Latest Chapter = 22)

Chaos6 said:
So after a few hours I seem to have caught up...

In my reading spree I did come across a few things, typos here and there and the way you seemed to drop the use of italics to indicate thought/telepathy for a couple of chapters, but nothing so major as to deter my immense interest in this incredible story. I would go on saying that this has inspired me to make an attempt at writing but I think it's also put me off a bit at the same time. I mean I guess I could write something, but with pieces of THIS quality around I feel my attempts would look a bit pathetic by comparison... ^^;

Either way, I look forward to the continuation/conclusion. :p

Care to tell me which chapters I forgot about the italics for thought and such? I didn't think I missed any of that, but it might not have come through in the forums cause I may have missed it. And I wouldn't worry about comparing creations of your own with something like this. I mean, this is really beyond what the average fic around here is like. With a couple of notable exceptions of course. But IMO it isn't really worth comparing fanfics to a great degree because they are pretty much unique to the person writing them. It's almost like comparing two people in a way, and we all know how bad that can turn out.

In other news, I haven't had a chance to write yet, but it'll be coming as soon as I get a chance -_-
 
RE: Mysteries of the Mind - A Trainer's Vision (Latest Chapter = 22)

gamercal said:
Care to tell me which chapters I forgot about the italics for thought and such? I didn't think I missed any of that, but it might not have come through in the forums cause I may have missed it. And I wouldn't worry about comparing creations of your own with something like this. I mean, this is really beyond what the average fic around here is like. With a couple of notable exceptions of course. But IMO it isn't really worth comparing fanfics to a great degree because they are pretty much unique to the person writing them. It's almost like comparing two people in a way, and we all know how bad that can turn out.

In other news, I haven't had a chance to write yet, but it'll be coming as soon as I get a chance -_-

Ok, so upon re-reading it turns out it was only one chapter, that being 19.

gamercal said:
“I’ve never seen you like this before Calum… why do you hate the water like this?”

Calum sighed. “I don’t hate the water as such Gardevoir… but I’ve never been a very confident swimmer, and I could never do underwater swimming… so to be surrounded with the stuff like this is a little intimidating for sure.”

“Well, it’s only naturally that everyone has something they are afraid of… but running away from your fears is never the answer.” Calum winced at this statement; forgetting that Gardevoir regularly read his mind for thoughts and directions, he forgot that she would know what he was thinking about asking. “I don’t want to allow you to forfeit this test even if it means forcing you to do something you dislike greatly. But know that you always have your allies nearby...”

“Well, there goes asking to be teleported out of here…” Calum thought to himself as Gardevoir returned to her pokéball. “She’s right though… I have my pokémon to help me through. One in particular…”

“Let’s go Milotic! We have a test to complete!”

Plus the parts where Calum is underwater in that chapter and thinking to himself. Not trying to be critical, just trying to help y'know. ^^

Either way I suppose you're right, and maybe I will try writing sometime. I mean I definitely have ideas, but I would need to build on them a bit. :p
 
RE: Mysteries of the Mind - A Trainer's Vision (Latest Chapter = 22)

Of course. I like constructive criticism and assistance wherever it comes from :)

I just missed doing the i tags on that chapter. It's fine in my word doc, but it wasn;t on here. It's fixed now :)
 
RE: Mysteries of the Mind - A Trainer's Vision (Latest Chapter = 22)

Double post because I can, and because I have something important to share. That's right, the next instalment... and the largest chapter to date as well. Spanning over 4400 words and 10 MS Word pages... behold!

Chapter 23 – Battle with Destiny

“Flygon, Earthquake! Togekiss; take to the skies and use Thunder Wave!”

Under Gregor’s calm orders, Flygon flapped its emerald wings and lifted itself four feet above the ground, before crashing down with all of its might and creating a vicious tremor directed straight at his enemies. Max and Ellen gasped and dived quickly out of harm’s way... but their pokémon weren’t quite as lucky. Not quite alert to the situation at hand, Quagsire failed to move away in time, and fell flat on his face at the shock of the quake. Thankfully for Ellen, her Froslass was a little more alert, and floated high above the battlefield to avoid the powerful shockwave.

This played straight into the wings of Togekiss, however. Already airborne as it was, she wasted no time in charging and launching an electrical pulse straight at the icy spectre in front of her. The jolt collided with pinpoint accuracy, and the white banshee could only cry shrilly as she crashed back to the ground in anguish. Ellen wasn’t impressed.

“Ugh, come on Froslass!” she exclaimed. “You can do better than this! Use Blizzard!”

Froslass, desperate to please her trainer, cringed as she attempted to rise for long enough to use the move that would put Gregor on the back foot. Much to the disappointment of Ellen, however, she couldn’t muster the energy, and softly fell back to the floor. Max looked concerned.

“He’s good...” he said softly, watching on as Quagsire slowly made its way back to his feet. “Quagsire, we need to help Froslass out here! Hail, now!”

Quagsire, as casually as could be, looked up to the sky and blew a chilly breath into the atmosphere. For the first time, Gregor looked concerned, as the clouds turned a violent grey overhead. Within moments, frigid lumps of ice were freefalling out of the sky onto the battlefield!

“Ugh, typical,” he groaned. “Ice was the one thing I never liked to fight... but I still have the upper hand here. “Flygon, ready a Crunch attack! Target Froslass.”

Relatively un-phased by the pelting balls of ice coming from the clouds, Flygon made a move towards Froslass, gearing up for a dark-infused bite at the stranded ghost type. However, before he even got near the stricken foe, she had vanished into the storm! Gregor looked stunned.

“What is this madness!?”

Ellen laughed. “Why, it’s Snow Cloak silly!” She closed her eyes, sensing without vision where her beloved pokémon was. “Alright Froslass, time to REALLY go for it! Try another Blizzard!”

“Gah, look out!”

But Gregor’s words were much too late. Froslass managed to pull the attack off perfectly this time, and before his pokémon could react they were enveloped in a powerful icy storm! Both were stricken badly by the ferocity of the attack. Flygon crashed out on the floor, unable to sustain flight against such a large weakness. Thinking for sure that they had won the opening round, Max and Ellen hi-fived one another. But their excitement was short-lived, as Gregor soon told them.

“Ha, did you think I would be undone so easily? Watch...”

A loud stomp could be heard through the storm. Max and Ellen abruptly halted their celebrations to find out what caused the noise, and much to their horror, Flygon got up. His eyes filled with pure rage towards his opposition, enraged that they had the arrogance to think that he was down. A pale blue fluid, along with the remnants of a small fruit skin, could be seen coming out of his mouth. Spotting this, Ellen gasped.

“No way... he had a Yache Berry!”

Gregor laughed. “That’s right. I know Flygon’s biggest fear is Ice moves, so I decided to give it the means to survive them! Now Flygon, show what good it does you! Sandstorm!”

Max frowned. “Ugh, if he gets the sand up, Froslass won’t stand a chance... quick, Quagsire! Fire another Blizzard off before it’s too late!”

But Gregor wasn’t about to give a second chance that easily. “I don’t think so... Togekiss, Air Slash that Quagsire! Make sure Flygon can set up!”

Quagsire’s mouth opened wide as it tried to call forth another blustery ice attack to wipe out Flygon before it could change the weather. But Togekiss wasn’t about to let this happen; with unwavering focus, she created a wide blade of air that struck the mud fish cleanly through his mouth! Crying in agony, poor Quagsire could only watch in fear as the savage storm clouds from above were washed out by a heavy flurry of grainy sand coming from Flygon’s direction.

It didn’t take the mystic pokémon long to gain the upper hand either. Now that the veil of hail was lifted from the field, Froslass had nowhere to hide. Still relatively immobile from the devastating Thunder Wave, she couldn’t do anything to escape the terrific charge of Flygon, and fell instantly to the sheer power of his Crunch attack.

Gregor smiled. “Good start... now, Togekiss, finish off that pathetic fish thing over there with another Air Slash!”

Before Froslass could even be taken off of the field, Togekiss was straight onto Gregor’s orders. Showing the same conviction as before, she barraged Quagsire with wider and wider blades of air. The battered mud fish didn’t even have time to react before it was slammed with more and more brutal attacks. Eventually, it fell, to a particularly strong slash that struck its entire being in a single, devastating blow. It cried softly in pain as it fell to the floor, thoroughly crippled and losing consciousness all the time.

“Hmph, perfect. Roost up you two, there’s plenty more to deal with yet.”

Max and Ellen looked at each other nervously as they recalled their pokémon. “Great... what do we do now?”



Houndoom looked around cautiously. He knew that his quarry was around SOMEWHERE, but he hadn’t had eye contact for over 30 seconds, and the nerves were beginning to show a little. Keeping his powerful toxins ready for an immediate attack, he turned to face his master for guidance.

Unfortunately, Matt was just as nervous as his companion. He had no idea where the wily sand mouse would turn up, and didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks when it did so. “Houndoom, don’t forget what you’ve been taught! You might not be able to SEE it, but you can sniff it out with Odour Sleuth!”

Houndoom relaxed after being given reassurance from Matt. He turned his attention back to the ground, sniffing diligently to see if he could pinpoint the scent of his opponent. As he worked, Ryan grew slightly nervous; he didn’t want to see what the fiendish dog would do if he managed to correctly track his Sandslash. He hastily called to his partner underground to begin her attack before it was too late.

“Sandslash, he’s trying to track you down! Earthquake, quickly!”

It was Ryan’s best option, and a fairly spectacular one at that. Feeling her trainer’s anxiety, Sandslash hastened her preparations for attacking. She had just come across a rather large rock that looked as if it was holding a large amount of topsoil in place. She could feel where Houndoom was sniffing above her; he was only a few feet away, getting closer with every passing second. With every ounce of strength she possessed, the sandy mouse pokémon punched the hefty boulder with a devastating Crush Claw attack. This caused several fissures to appear in the rock. She attacked it again, causing it to crumble in a few short seconds. This sent colossal amounts of seismic energy through the surrounding area, which enveloped the space that Houndoom was standing on!

Matt shouted in Houndoom’s direction, but he could do nothing to help the stranded animal. As quick to react as he was, there was absolutely no way he could avoid the tremors coming from below. The ground underneath him gave way entirely, causing him to plummet into the hole that Sandslash had dug underneath him! He landed extremely heavily on the shards of rock left behind by the quake. They caused a deep gash on the dark pokémon’s hind leg. But the dog’s defiant nature wasn’t about to let him give up, and he struggled to his feet despite his numerous injuries. He growled ominously as he searched for his prey again.

Ryan decided that enough was enough. “It’s heavily injured, but it still refuses to give up... gotta give it credit for its tenacity I suppose! Still... Sandslash, Stone Edge! Take it down!”

Matt didn’t want to let Houndoom be injured anymore, but he still believed there was a chance... “Houndoom, I know you’re hurt, but there’s just one shot for you to win this now... try to endure this hit coming and use Counter!”

Sandslash, wanting to end the battle before her opponent could retaliate, grabbed as many pieces of the shattered boulder as she could and threw them at Houndoom with as much force as she could muster. The dark hound managed to find her before she started, but was unable to evade the move due to his injuries. As a result, he simply braced himself for what was going to be another vicious assault on his weakness. He cried in pain as the sharp stones hit him all over his body. Barely maintaining consciousness, all he could think about was how badly he was going to pay Sandslash back as soon as he got the chance...

But he never got the chance. Sandslash, down to her last three rocks, decided to lay salt in the wounds. Literally; the penultimate rock struck Houndoom savagely on his already heavily injured leg. He howled in absolute agony as blood was drawn. This was as much as he could take; as he slowly fell to the ground, his eyes showing his discontent at his performance. Matt cursed silently as he withdrew the dark pokémon from the battle.

“I didn’t think Sandslash was capable of such brutality... well, two can play at that game I’m afraid! Roserade, take her down!”

Ryan’s mood very quickly changed after hearing the next opponent. He thought briefly about simply calling Sandslash back without even trying to win the match-up, but decided against it, as his mouse’s pride would be extremely damaged if he was to do this. He turned his head towards his prized pokémon.

“Well... what do you think? Can you take her?”

Sandslash took one look at Ryan and nodded curtly; she knew she was up against it here, but she had an idea. Roserade looked patronizingly at Sandslash. Knowing she had the upper hand, there was no way she was giving it up. Matt acted quickly to try and take the initiative.

“Roserade, start off with Sleep Powder!”

Ryan wasn't about to let the match go that easily though. “Sandslash, act quickly! Crush Claw, go!”

Roserade lifted her delicate bouquet arms and shook loose a flurry of dark green pollen towards Sandslash. The energetic mouse raced right through the dust and tore at the flower with savage claws. The attack was so brutal that a large cut in the rose’s skirt-like petals was created. But Sandslash wasn’t able to maintain the assault for long. Running headlong through the Sleep Powder was a plucky move, but it wasn’t one that paid off. Roserade jumped backwards to avoid the weakening Crush Claw attacks, until her thorny whip-like appendages were enough to keep her opponent at bay. Slowly but surely, the mouse pokémon fell into a deep sleep. Matt called for Roserade to take the time to heal with Synthesis, an order she gladly obeyed. She stood still for a whole minute, taking in as much of the sun as she could. As Ryan desperately tried to get his Sandslash to awaken, the holes she had caused in Roserade’s petals dissipated, and she looked as good as new. Matt decided that it was time for the finale.

“Now... finish it! Leaf Storm!”


“God that Eevee’s fast...”

Still racing forward on Arcanine, Calum was barely managing to keep up with the little Eevee child that took off into the forest. His Eevee merely looked onwards, almost on the brink of tears. He couldn’t understand why family would be running away from him. Was he really truly exiled when he had this horrific pendant forced around his neck? He was so young when it happened... but he knew in his heart that from that day onwards he could never be around his own kind until the horrific tool was removed.

Calum was finding it difficult to get over how fast the Eevee child was. “How on earth can a CHILD be so freaking quick? I mean, Arcanine is no slouch, and yet I can hardly even see the thing in the distance... and I don’t think Arcanine can actually speed up here either since the terrain is so uneven. Gah, it’s useless!” He threw a punch at the air to vent his growing frustration. “This is getting nowhere...”

“Gardevoir, we need your help! Keep a mental trace on that Eevee pup for us!”

The embrace pokémon did as commanded, levitating alongside Arcanine as it kept a close eye on the young Eevee’s thoughts... but were they its own?

“Calum... I don’t think that Eevee is real... I don’t sense unique thoughts from it at all. It’s as if it is being controlled or something...”

Calum looked shocked. “Controlled? What do you mean controlled?” He thought to himself for a second. “But... if that isn’t a real Eevee... is it meant to be leading us somewhere?”

“Well, you ARE a smart one aren’t you?”

A familiar psychic voice rang through Calum’s head. His party must have felt it as well, as Eevee looked up in fear, trying to find where the voice was coming from. Arcanine came screeching to a halt, seeing that his quarry had stopped running. This almost threw Calum off of his back, but the young man managed to hold on somehow. Gardevoir came to the ground beside her trainer, trying to sense where the voice was from.

The voice continued. “Yes, a smart one indeed... I see you survived at least.”

Calum snorted. “No thanks to you there! So, where are you, and what do you want!?”

“Why, you know me, Calum... or at least, you know us.” Calum mouthed the word “us” questioningly, but the voice ignored him. “It’s true; this Eevee is under our command at the moment. Well, to be precise, the Eevee family is under our control... we’ve been leading all of you to your chosen fate. Naturally, there has been some... clashes. But we expected this from the chosen ones.”

“Chosen ones... chosen ONES... so the other two are on this island as well?”

“Yes. Along with an outsider, however... but we will take care of him when the time comes. Now, since you’ve come to know the truth... follow the Eevee, and find you destiny! It won’t be long now...”

Almost as if it was reanimated, the Eevee child cried out to Calum’s party and took off again. The group wasted little time in gathering themselves together to chase after it once again.


“Ready to give up yet?”

Gregor sneered at Max and Ellen as they withdrew their pokémon in defeat once again. Despite their best efforts, they were falling short of their goal of stopping the wily man from heading towards Matt. The two of them only had one pokémon left each... their prized starters. Max knew this was it; no more mistakes.

“It’s clear to me that neither of you have the Void Ball; you’re both far too weak to possess such a powerful item. My time has been wasted for long enough; give up now and you might live.”

“No way!” shouted Ellen in defiance. “We still have one more game plan up our sleeves yet, and with all of our might it is going to work! Come on Typhlosion, set this place alight!”

Max responded with equal determination. “Sceptile, it’s all up to you now... let’s go!”

The pair sent their most powerful pokémon out to try and beat down Gregor’s powerful combination of Flygon and Bronzong. Despite the length of the match, Flygon had still not fallen; in fact, Gregor had only lost Togekiss due to a painful Toxic attack inflicted by Max’s Altaria. The number advantage was easily with Gregor here, but that didn’t mean he had won yet...

“Sceptile, Dragon Claw that Flygon!”

“Typhlosion, don’t hesitate! Use Will-O-Wisp!”

Gregor wasn’t about to let himself be beaten by status twice, however. “Flygon, Protect! Bronzong, block the incoming status with Safeguard!”

Sceptile jumped into the trees, showing its impressive agility as it leapt from branch to branch. It quickly approached Flygon, but his movements didn’t go unnoticed. As he neared, the blades on his shoulders were set aglow by a shimmering orange light. But Flygon was ready for the grass type’s assault. As Sceptile made the motions to slash the dragonfly down, he span round and beat the glowing blade down with his tail, avoiding all damage from the attack. Sceptile landed on the ground without injury also, but aggravated that his assault didn’t go through. Ellen shared her pokémon’s agitation, cursing Flygon for avoiding the move so easily.

Meanwhile, Typhlosion had already begun his attack as well. He fired a spree of bluish-white flames at the motionless bronze bell to the right of him. But it wasn’t motionless for long; acting on Gregor’s order, its eyes lit up and created a shimmering white barrier between itself and Typhlosion. The barrier easily dissipated the small flames as they approached, causing both Max and Ellen’s moves to fail completely. Both of them looked concerned; they were cornered and they knew it.

“Man... what do we do now then, Ellen?”

Max was the more nervous of the two, but Ellen wasn’t faring much better. However, she wasn’t giving up, and had one last idea to put into practice.

“Max, we have to go for the kill! Go for Bronzong’s fire weakness whilst my Sceptile gets itself ready... Sceptile, Swords Dance!”

“Alright,” Max said softly, trusting his partner’s instincts. They had proven to be right so many times before, after all... “Typhlosion, give it your absolute best shot! Overheat! Go for the kill on Bronzong!”

Sceptile stopped staring Flygon down and did as instructed, initiating a frenetic dance to boost his morale. Flygon landed on the ground, watching his foe with bemusement. As he did so, Typhlosion was briefly gathering all the firepower he could muster to go for a full-powered attack on Bronzong. Neither Max nor Ellen had noticed the white glow around Gregor’s dragon pokémon though...

“Bronzong, time to finish this in style... Swagger! You know who to target. If you’re still alive after this, explode whilst Flygon flies out of range!”

Satisfied at the task it was presented with, Bronzong started acting extremely arrogant in an effort to enrage his intended target. But much to the confusion of Max and Ellen, it wasn’t Typhlosion or Sceptile... it was Flygon! The dragonfly looked at Bronzong’s theatrics in disgust, wondering why he was the target of this strange ritual. Disgust soon turned to rage though, and he almost aimed a Fire Blast at the bell pokémon to get it to stop! But a white glow surrounded him... and it suddenly all made sense. He smiled as fresh power coursed all through his body. HE knew what went on... but did Max and Ellen?

Typhlosion had finished gathering all the firepower he felt was necessary. He unleashed the full extent of his power at the taunting Bronzong. The bell didn’t notice this until it was too late to evade, and was quickly enveloped in the fierce assault. It crashed out in the middle of the battlefield, charred and blackened by the ferocity of Typhlosion’s flame. The fiery ferret didn’t fare much better though; heavily fatigued by the effort he took to execute Max’s order, he fell on all fours to regain he breath. Max looked tensely at his opposition, wanting to make absolute sure that the job was done. But it was Ellen that noticed the horrible truth...

“Max, look! Is that berry juice there?”

Max took a closer look. “It is... no way... an Occa Berry?”

The front of Bronzong’s face was covered in a thin layer of a deep red fluid. This seemed to give him just enough strength to carry out his last order. Flygon knew exactly what was coming, and shot straight up into the air to avoid the inevitable. Ellen gasped in horror.

“Sceptile, get out of there! Detect, NOW!!”

Max couldn’t order Typhlosion to take evasive action fast enough though. Bronzong’s charred body lit up with a brilliant white light, before violently exploding in the middle of the forest path! Sceptile raced backwards as fast as it could, and barely managed to jump out of the way of the destructive force. But poor Typhlosion couldn’t get up nearly quick enough, and was engulfed in the powerful warhead’s full force. Even Max and Ellen were flung onto the ground by the strength of the detonation! As the smoke slowly cleared, two red light beams were sent into the crater to retrieve the victims of the war.

“Ellen... I’m sorry... it’s up to you now...”

Gregor looked at Sceptile as it returned to the battlefield in shock. The blast it barely avoided had managed to create a hole so large that water from underground had begun to congregate at the bottom of it. The grass type had never seen such destruction before... but Gregor wasn’t done yet.

“Time to finish this,” he whispered to himself. He then turned to address Ellen. “You two have wasted too much time as it is. This is where it ends.” He thrust his hand into the sky to where Flygon was speeding down. It didn’t even need the command, but Gregor was going to say it regardless to be sure. “Flygon... Outrage!”


“Well Ryan, you’ve been an impressive battler... I didn’t expect you to be so good!”

Matt complimented the young Ryan on a good battle. It had come down to a Raichu mirror match, and neither looked like they would back down for a second. Ryan returned the compliment. “But it’s not over yet! Let’s go Raichu!”

However, before the two could clash, the young Eevee that Calum was following darted across the battlefield, completely unaware of the situation at hand. Matt and Ryan looked on in amazement at the speed the little dog was going at. What was more amazing though was the speed at which it stopped upon reaching the edge of the makeshift battlefield. It appeared to be in some form of trance... neither Matt nor Ryan could really see why this would be the case.

A familiar voice broke the silence that had interrupted the match.

“I see it has stopped... this is where it wanted to bring me?”

It was all that Ryan needed at this point. He instantly turned to face the direction of the voice, and was greeted by a large red blur bolting inches past where he stood. The blur sharply applied the brakes as it came to a halt just inches before where the Eevee child stood.

“CALUM!!”

Ryan raced to the teenager as fast as his tired legs could take him, embracing him with tears freefalling from his eyes.

“I thought... I thought you were d-dead...”

Calum looked softly at the young boy. “It’ll take a lot more than that to kill me off Ryan... you should know!” His attention was drawn to Matt. “And you are?”

Matt looked nervously at the pair. “I’m Matt. I was battling Ryan because I thought he had harmed a young Eevee that I was chasing, but apparently he was chasing one too... and it turns out that you were following one as well! Just what is going on here?”

Calum looked inquisitively at Matt. “I dunno... perhaps this place is trying to draw us all together.”

Matt nodded. “It looks like it. And I think it must have something to do with this...” he pulled an entirely scarlet poké ball out of his pocket. Adorned with various decorative jewels, it was home to his impressive Houndoom. Calum examined the ball with curiosity.

“Yes... perhaps. Ryan has a blue one... I have a black one... so there’s one more. And if I know a certain someone...”

But he was interrupted before he could continue. A loud scream shot through the air; Espeon’s attention was instantly drawn to the source, as it was from Ellen! Matt looked anxiously down the path he came from.

“Oh no! Max and Ellen are in trouble! I have to go help them!”

“That won’t be necessary...”

Gregor descended down on the trio on the back of his Flygon. He was carrying the now unconscious pair of trainers that he had so mercilessly put down in his previous battle. His Flygon bore no scars of war though; clearly Gregor had taken the time to fully heal all of his pokémon before coming. Flygon unceremoniously threw the pair off of his back, leaving Matt and Ryan to dive underneath to catch them.

“Well well, look who we have here...”

Calum looked at Gregor, a mixture of relief and uncertainty in his expression. Whilst he was relieved that his friend was alright, he wasn’t sure what to expect here, given that he had just seen him throw two people off of his pokémon’s back so savagely.

“Fancy meeting you here Gregor,” he said, trying to make light of the situation. “Not that I didn’t expect you of course, but you know, I was worried for a while.”

“Save the small talk for afterwards,” Gregor said curtly, unwilling to deviate from the task at hand. “You have something I want. Well, you all do, but none more so than Calum.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

Gregor smiled. “Your pride... and the power from the Void Ball!” He laughed for a second. “But mostly your pride. You have beaten me all too many times before, but it ends right here and now!”

Calum smiled as well. “I figured as such. We never could get over our competitiveness, could we?”

Gregor looked at Calum poker-faced. “I guess not. But this time, you’re going down!”
 
Wow, phenomenal Chapter Calum! Gregor is rather sly. Some ferocious battles truly did take place, although in Gregor, Max, and Ellen's battle, Sceptile and Typlosion seemed to have swapped trainers :p Was it merely a mistake that Sceptile was taking orders from Ellen and Typhlosion was taking orders from Max (Where it should be vice versa, like it was when they were released) or was it plot line to show teamwork? Regardless, I am on my toes waiting for the next chapter!
 
Ahh dammit, I thought I had that the right way round lol. I can't believe I got that wrong...

But TBH it makes a little more sense for my story that they are round that way. Given that Ellen already has Rapidash as well ;D

But yeah, sorry about that.
 
gamercal said:
Ryan was about to let the match go that easily though. “Sandslash, act quickly! Crush Claw, go!”

*Wasn't :p

A brilliant chapter, as expected. Multiple simultaneous action scenes are pretty cool though at times it felt to me like maybe there should have been another blank line between transitions. Though that's nothing major, it's good as it is, I'm just nit-picking a bit. :D
 
gamercal said:
Ahh dammit, I thought I had that the right way round lol. I can't believe I got that wrong...

But TBH it makes a little more sense for my story that they are round that way. Given that Ellen already has Rapidash as well ;D

But yeah, sorry about that.

I know, it's totally not a big deal, since I've been kind of switching around they're Pokemon recently in my fic anyway. I was reading it and was just kind of like...wait, what? So yeah don't worry, totally no problem, the absolutely magnificent chapter made up for any mistake, I can't wait for the next one!
 
Chaos6 said:
gamercal said:
Ryan was about to let the match go that easily though. “Sandslash, act quickly! Crush Claw, go!”

*Wasn't :p

A brilliant chapter, as expected. Multiple simultaneous action scenes are pretty cool though at times it felt to me like maybe there should have been another blank line between transitions. Though that's nothing major, it's good as it is, I'm just nit-picking a bit. :D

Gah, always gonna be a mistake like that which seeps through unnoticed, huh -_-

Well, I was considering it, but 4 lines was what I used to put between the chapter and anything I said afterwards. So it felt like too much to me, if you know what I mean.

Anyone like to hazard a guess as to who the psychic voices are? ;D

(Lol @ PMJ's post btw)
 
The voice, I'm going to guess, wasn't the head of Team Leafre Gregor's father, or maybe that's not him, but I am going to guess it has something to do with team Leafre, probably the leader
 
Big battles, mind games, chosen ones, what does this story not have?

Gregor Vs Calum is probably going to be one sweet battle, so you better give it your best(I know you will anyways)!

I wonder, when all Void Balls unite, what will happen...? What's inside the Void...?! We all must know! :D

Great one, and can't wait for the next one! Keep it up! ;)
 
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