Help Not sure what to do as it pertains to playing the card game physically.

S

Seastrome

Aspiring Trainer
Member
Most of the time, I am unable to attend events due to having to work a lot and so I relied on having a friend to playtest in person with for when I could go to the events. Now, it seems like my "friend" has turned on me to the point where he will not play vs me at all, as if he is scared or something. I offer to playtest online vs him, he declines everytime but when it comes to others, it's all cool with him.

And the thing that pushed me over to post this was I found out he's attending the North American Internationals but of course, I probably am not allowed to go with him because he's a crummy friend it seems like. I struggle at forming friendships with people and haven't had very many pleasant experiences in tournament play. (scoffed at by opponents friends for beating them, etc.)

Idk what to do and it's very demoralizing. Sorry if my post is all over the place or if this does not quite belong here. I figure maybe someone has been through what I have and could offer advice on how to proceed. I just feel like my physical cards are useless and playing online is all I have. But online only offers me so much.
 
I literally did nothing to him for him to treat me this way. I offer to playtest once in a while and even offered rides to events, etc. He took out his frustrations on me for losing to a girl in PTCGO game and then got mad about going 0-5-1 at a regionals when he didn't take my advice to play what you are comfortable with. But sure, I'm the one that is the "crummy" friend. I always trade him or get him cards he needed like staple trainers, etc. Gave away my rare Darkrai deck box that isn't even being sold atm from what I can see.
 
I tried talking to him, but his response to me breaking the silence was: "i'll talk to you whenever I feel like it. You should get the hint that I don't want to talk." Idk how I could get the hint when I didn't know anything was wrong. And I'm not badmouthing him, just figuring out why he's being the way he is towards me. All I do is ask to playtest and I think maybe he hates that because it's always tough to convince him to do it most times. And when we playtest, it's very casual and laidback. No problems at all.

You can say my previous posts are negative if you wish but i dont see how you can say i'm being the bad friend when i've actually shown by example in this thread that i've done good for him. All he's done of late is treat me like shit for seemingly no reason other than he can. And that's why i'm posting this. in addition to my work schedule getting in way of events, it just seems like my days of playing physical cards is done and i wanted advice on approaches for trying to play cards in person more.
 
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CrownAxe said:
Well @Seastrome, people don't suddenly hate their friends for no reason. And you said yourself that he's only giving the cold shoulder to you and not the rest of his friends.

So do the math on that if you're so smart
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I totally Agree with CrownAxe, I also struggle with making friends (Socially Awkward) - People call me sheldon from the Big Bang Theory (Research m8) since I sorta had no consideration for feelings, OCD - Legitimate, said what I thought, got a lot of A's (Aussie version of school grades - A, B, C, E, F.) But lucky for me I had a friend who put up with my awkwardness, but one day she stopped coming to events and interacting with me. One time I caught with her and asked why? She said because of a few reasons listed above and then we figured it out and i'm still socially awkward but improving.

So there's no excuse that you can't figure things out, because people in your situation are all around the world.

"Your dreams is like a road, with dead-ends, road bumps and pit stops, they might slow you down but don't let them stop your dreams"

Blake Troy
 
Hey Seastrome. Although I haven't had the exact same situation, I can attest to something very similar. I have an identical twin brother. Although he's great at all the games we play, such as the Pokemon TCG, Smash Bros, and Pokken Tournament, there are a lot of times when I just choose not to play games with him.

It's not because I hate him or anything. It's because I've spent a lot of time playing with him, and I want to play with other people to get new and different experiences. I can't do EVERYTHING I do with him, or else I would miss out on meeting lots of new people. I would miss out on making new friends.

For example, when I was playing Smash Bros, he was my only opponent. We got very competitive with fighting each other, but after a while he knew my exact movement patterns, and he knew mine. When we battled, it didn't seem like we were doing anything productive, or discovering new techniques, but rather just pressing buttons and waiting for the inevitable to happen.

That's how I think your friend might feel. It seems you have known him for quite a while - especially considering that you've offered rides to events. But I think he might want to play with other people and get a wider perspective on how the game works. If he only playtested against you, he'd suffer a lot of bias in how matchups would go. On top of that, it's also fun to meet new people - I'm sure your friend is finding this to be the case.

As for what he said
"i'll talk to you whenever I feel like it. You should get the hint that I don't want to talk."
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From a blank perspective, it sounds like he's tired of talking to you. He might be annoyed if you've been talking to him about a lot of things. But it's rather arrogant that he responds like this so rudely. It seems that he feels like he can treat you however he likes rather than with a sense of delicacy and carefulness. It seems rather similar to how people will talk rudely about their family members but nicely to strangers.

Here's my advice: Seek out more friends. Not people to replace your friend, but rather other people with whom you can also talk and playtest. Talking with other people would alleviate your friend of any burden your friend feels from talking to you (if any). Lowering the amount of communication you have with him may also allow to value what activities you do end up doing together.

I know it's tough finding others that have the same amount of experience and activity playing the game IRL, but they're everywhere on PokeBeach, and always talking in the PokeBeach Discord channel.

Sometimes it doesn't take more than a friendly conversation in a tournament match to find someone that you will end up talking to for months later.

***************************************************************

Also, as a general reminder, I would like to remind members posting on this thread to structure their posts to treat others with respect ♪
 
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Tapu Lele said:
Hey Seastrome. Although I haven't had the exact same situation, I can attest to something very similar. I have an identical twin brother. Although he's great at all the games we play, such as the Pokemon TCG, Smash Bros, and Pokken Tournament, there are a lot of times when I just choose not to play games with him.

It's not because I hate him or anything. It's because I've spent a lot of time playing with him, and I want to play with other people to get new and different experiences. I can't do EVERYTHING I do with him, or else I would miss out on meeting lots of new people. I would miss out on making new friends.

For example, when I was playing Smash Bros, he was my only opponent. We got very competitive with fighting each other, but after a while he knew my exact movement patterns, and he knew mine. When we battled, it didn't seem like we were doing anything productive, or discovering new techniques, but rather just pressing buttons and waiting for the inevitable to happen.

That's how I think your friend might feel. It seems you have known him for quite a while - especially considering that you've offered rides to events. But I think he might want to play with other people and get a wider perspective on how the game works. If he only playtested against you, he'd suffer a lot of bias in how matchups would go. On top of that, it's also fun to meet new people - I'm sure your friend is finding this to be the case.

As for what he said

From a blank perspective, it sounds like he's tired of talking to you. He might be annoyed if you've been talking to him about a lot of things. But it's rather arrogant that he responds like this so rudely. It seems that he feels like he can treat you however he likes rather than with a sense of delicacy and carefulness. It seems rather similar to how people will talk rudely about their family members but nicely to strangers.

Here's my advice: Seek out more friends. Not people to replace your friend, but rather other people with whom you can also talk and playtest. Talking with other people would alleviate your friend of any burden your friend feels from talking to you (if any). Lowering the amount of communication you have with him may also allow to value what activities you do end up doing together.

I know it's tough finding others that have the same amount of experience and activity playing the game IRL, but they're everywhere on PokeBeach, and always talking in the PokeBeach Discord channel.

Sometimes it doesn't take more than a friendly conversation in a tournament match to find someone that you will end up talking to for months later.

***************************************************************

Also, as a general reminder, I would like to remind members posting on this thread to structure their posts to treat others with respect ♪
Click to expand...

How do we know, "What his friend said", isnt an exaggeration to make hin look like crap?
 
AFEX said:
How do we know, "What his friend said", isnt an exaggeration to make hin look like crap?
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We don't. It's a possibility, but we don't know for certain.

But per the PokeBeach Rules, I find it necessary to respond to people with respect first and foremost. This isn't a game of Forum Mafia either - this isn't a game of determining "who is lying".

Rather, this is a thread where the OP has asked for help and advice on his current situation. Trashing his character isn't going to provide meaningful advice to the OP, and in most cases, constitutes an "ad hominem" attack.

Although it seems naive that I would disregard the faults the OP has, I believe him out of respect. The OP is a fellow human being after all. I don't think he would post all this as an elaborate lie on a forum to just trash his anonymous friend; there's surely something else happening here.
 
Tapu Lele said:
We don't. It's a possibility, but we don't know for certain.

But per the PokeBeach Rules, I find it necessary to respond to people with respect first and foremost. This isn't a game of Forum Mafia either - this isn't a game of determining "who is lying".

Rather, this is a thread where the OP has asked for help and advice on his current situation. Trashing his character isn't going to provide meaningful advice to the OP, and in most cases, constitutes an "ad hominem" attack.

Although it seems naive that I would disregard the faults the OP has, I believe him out of respect. The OP is a fellow human being after all. I don't think he would post all this as an elaborate lie on a forum to just trash his anonymous friend; there's surely something else happening here.
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I didnt say it was a lie I said it could be an exaggeration, a stretch of the truth.
 
@Tapu Lele It's not that the OP is deliberately lying, It's that he doesn't understand the reality of the situation. Either through ignorance or arrogance the OP is deflecting all the blame of the situation onto his friend (which I believe is an unconscious act of protect he's ego)

Even without the context of Seastrome's post history, his intention for this thread is already at fault. Because instead of worrying about losing his friend, he's worried about his freaking pokemon cards. He's missing what's most important here and I for one thinks it's better to try to get Seastrome to realize the error of his ways to help him keep his friend rather then acquiesce to his maligned request.
 
My friend has apologized to me and cited that he was dealing with things and should not have treated me that way. I'm really not in the mood to argue anyone's posts but that should clear up the post a little bit.
 
Yeah, just wish certain members of this forum would apologize for their rudeness and arrogance. That's all that is left to resolve really. Kind of don't even want to come here anymore because of that fact.
 
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