Writing Pokémon: The legend of Aura (12 Chapters)

[Vergere]

Yeah, I'm still reading. Great new chapters, as always. One thing you might want to note is that titles are capitalized when used as part of a name. In these parts, you've done it wrong.

"My lord, I've returned with prince Cress, but I'm afraid things may have gotten more complicated." Aaron said, while kneeling as one always did in front of Arc. He was listening intently, and allowed Aaron to continue.


"I see, we'll need to act quickly then. Send in prince Cress, we'll need a plan as soon as possible. You should also summon Linc for me. He has information Cress should know about as well." Arc commanded.

 

[SixaxiS]

Yeah, I'm still reading. Great new chapters, as always. One thing you might want to note is that titles are capitalized when used as part of a name. In these parts, you've done it wrong.

What do you mean by titles?

 

[Vergere]

Yeah, I'm still reading. Great new chapters, as always. One thing you might want to note is that titles are capitalized when used as part of a name. In these parts, you've done it wrong.

What do you mean by titles?

For example, "Prince Cress" would have been correct in that example, as opposed to "prince Cress".

 

[Dictator Dauntless]

Okay, so only read first 'book'

It's pretty well written and of good length. Some things to improve on--

Choppiness. Too many short sentences.

Subtle description. When a new character comes along or a scene you stop directly to describe it. Try to make it flow there.

Small spelling errors.

 

[SixaxiS]

The thing is i don't know exactly when to start describing how my characters look. Come to think of it, over half of them haven't even been described yet xD (doesn't seem to bother anyone though)

Leaving some things to the reader's imagination seems to be a good thing