Writing Pokemon: Ash Alone.... (All opinions wanted!) Chapter 1 is up

[Squirtle101]

Welcome to my story, everyone! I had a great inspiration to write this story about a week ago, but never put it into action until a few days ago. This is a tale about Ask Ketchum (whom, in this story, is fourteen) His 'relaxing' morning turns into an epic thrill ride through the region of Sinnoh. Enjoy!

Prologue​

Light shone through the open window of the log cabin. On a desk at the side of the bed was an open book, directly in the sun’s rays of light. The lamp on the desk had been left on all nigh and it ceased to glow in the light that was already supplied through the single, Plexiglas window at the right of the room.

The light beckoned the dozing figure on the bed to rise from his slumber, but he refused to do so in his mind even after opening his eyes. Perhaps this was because of the stinging pain he felt when he did so. He was not used to the light of day after the darkness of his hours of slumber. He felt painfully dreary at first, but finally fell under the sun’s morning spell.

Ask Ketchum of Pallet Town woke up to a disordered room. Clothes strewn all over the floor, some being his; crumpled up papers lay on the desk along with his toothbrush, hairbrush, and partially folded clothes for the day.

He yawned, making no efforts to clean the room at first. He saw that
Dawn and Brock were still sleeping, so he took his clothes, looked at their dozing figures for a moment, and then shut the door. He was about to turn into the hallway, when he turned back into the room and swiped up his toothbrush and hairbrush.

This being done, he strode down the tidy hallway and headed for the bathroom. He turn the knob on the door and let himself in, brushing his teeth at the sink and gave toothy smile to his reflection in the mirror. He brushed his hair and proceeded to getting changed into his new clothes.

He exited the bathroom after looking at himself in the mirror again, admiring his outfit: a black shirt with a yellow stripe through the middle, blue jeans, and a Poke-ball hat. Now, he was ready to continue his Pokemon journey. He stepped down the hall cautiously, hoping not to wake his friends.

Since he found they were still asleep, he went downstairs. He knew that Nurse Joy had breakfast ready for them since they had stayed at the Pokemon Center overnight, so he seated himself at a table in the local dining room. Nurse Joy came up to him, smiling. She had red hair with a nurse hat, a white apron, and a white skirt to match.

“Did you sleep well?” She inquired of him, sounding only a trifle tired. Ash nodded as she gently handed him a breakfast menu. He scanned it for a moment, only forgetting for a second that she had asked him a question while he was observing the appetizers. He looked up from the menu, smiling back at her.

“Yeah,” He replied, enthusiastically. “Thanks for letting us stay here for the night. You’re a lifesaver. We couldn’t find a single town or city anywhere.”

Nurse Joy seemed delighted to hear that, for she happily returned the remark of thanks by saying, “It was my pleasure.” Ash smiled as he scanned the menu again, finally deciding what he wanted.

“I’ll have a blueberry muffin with some coffee.” The fourteen-year-old boy said. Nurse Joy nodded, scribbling his order on a notepad. “You wait there and I’ll be right back.” She told him, hurrying away to get his food ready for him. Ash shifted his position in the cushioned seat he was in and gazed out the window.

The ceiling fan was put on high by someone behind the counter, cooking. He noticed the temperature in the room getting cooler as the fan became faster and faster. The feeling of the cold air against him felt so good. And, Ash hadn’t even noticed how hot he had actually felt prior.

When Nurse Joy arrived with his food, he realized how hungry he had become in the short time between now and her taking his order. He gobbled down the muffin in no time and slurped up the coffee in half the time. Now, he was ready for some training.
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That was just a prologue. The chapters are going to be much longer! I do hope you like my story. If so, please post!

 

[Squirtle101]

RE: Pokemon: Ash Alone.... (All opinions wanted!)

No suggestions, advice, comments, or compliments? Oh, well, Chapter 1 will be up soon.

 

[cool kid master555]

RE: Pokemon: Ash Alone.... (All opinions wanted!)

good story, but there are to many commas. remember that and it will be perfect

 

[Squirtle101]

RE: Pokemon: Ash Alone.... (All opinions wanted!)

Turns out this chaper is not as long as I wanted it to be. I found a good place to end it, so I did. Here it is. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Training and Thoughts​

“Go, Grotle! Go Ambipom!” Ash shouted in the middle of a wide clearing in the woods near the Pokemon Center, throwing two red and white Poke-balls into the air.

First, Ambipom appeared. This Pokemon was a purple monkey with two tails and fists on the end of each one. Next, Grotle appeared. This turtle-like Pokemon had two bushes on its shell. “This one won’t be so easy, Grotle. You ready for this?”

Grotle nodded.

“I believe in you, buddy! Let’s do this thing!” Ash shouted.

“Grotle!” The turtle-like Pokemon agreed.

“Okay, then. Begin!” Ash shouted. “Ambipom, use Swift!”

“Ambipom.” The two-tailed Pokemon said, quickly lashing out with its tail. Golden stars were hurdled by Ambipom towards Grotle with speed that impressed Ash. Grotle saw, everywhere he looked, the objects hurdling towards him.

Helplessly, he tried using Vine Whip to send them back at its foe. Fortunately for Grotle, the tactic worked. Ash watched in amazement as Ambipom was bombarded with its own attack. Ambipom wasn’t happy about that.

“In it to win it, guys!” Ash shouted as Ambipom dashed at Grotle. Both Pokemon’s hearts were filled with determination as Grotle charged back at Ambipom. Ash watched at the two Pokemon ran at full speed towards each other. But, to his surprise, Ambipom bolted faster than lightning out of Grotle’s way.

It couldn’t stop itself. Grotle went careening towards the bushes, desperately trying to halt its legs. Ash grimaced at the impact, seeing the Ambipom was now behind Grotle and could do anything it wanted as long as Grotle was too weak to stand. If Grotle fainted, the match would belong to Ambipom.

Grotle, however, emerged from the bushes, unscathed but incredibly angry. Ambipom looked up at Grotle as if it were a towering giant, cowering as it suddenly charged at Ambipom with great speed.

“Don’t just stand there, Ambipom. Move! Ash shouted.

Ambipom didn’t have to be told twice. Bolting, it started to circle Grotle. Ambipom used Double Team as it continued to circle the turtle-like Pokemon. Soon, Grotle became dizzy to such an extent that it toppled to the ground. Ash realized that his Pokemon were using tactics that he himself had never tried. But, they seemed so effective.

Of course, Grotle was not defeated. It gave a groan and a growl and weakly got to its feet, quickly lashing out at Ambipom. Ambipom was not able to dodge the attack, so it went careening into a smooth stone a few feet away from the one Ash was sitting on, now taking notes of what his Pokemon were doing.

Ambipom bolted forward, as did Grotle. Ash knew that they were both thinking the same thing, and wondered how the battle was going to turn out due to what had happened prior; all the attacks, the dodges, the smacks, the slams. He could tell both Pokemon were getting tired. He would simply urge them to carry on until one of them fell, fainted.

“Alright. Some more excitement.” Ash said, watching the two actually collide full-speed. Grotle was just a bit stronger, but he hit the ground seconds after Ambipom. However, Ambipom took more damage. Grotle grunted, Ambipom glared, and they both sat up. Grotle dug its feet into the dirt again and growled, charging once again at the mischievous monkey.

But, Ambipom put its fists flat against the ground and used the strength of them to gain momentum as it sprung high into the air, propelled by the mighty push it gave against the ground as Grotle came charging. Grotle, again, crashed into the bushes. However, this time, he fainted.
Ambipom smiled triumphantly as Ash congratulated it.

He returned both Pokemon to their Poke-balls, glancing around the clearing. It was quiet and gloomy looking without the heat of battle raging. Perhaps the gloom was only because of the big storm clouds rolling in above.

Ash still sat on the smooth rock, observing his notes now. He realized how much more he could learn from his Pokemon then they could from him. It was like his life back in Kanto, with Brock and Misty. Brock, although he was a Gym Leader like Misty, was still traveling with Ash here in Sinnoh.

But, Ash found that no matter what he said or did, he always found himself learning things that he had never known before from them. Their lives as Gym Leaders fascinated him sometimes, opening him up to all kinds of new battle tactics and new experiences with Pokemon themselves.

And now, a new person had come into Ash’s life, Dawn; young and fun-loving. She was just awesome. A great journey partner, no doubt; just like the rest of them. He sighed as the wind whistled and rain began to dampen the pages of his notebook. He shut it, glancing up at the dark sky. It was just like last night, except, now, he knew where to find shelter.

And, back to the Pokemon Center it was for him. So he sat up, still glancing at the stars. Now the blades of grass were bending due to the force of the wind and thunder sounded. He just didn’t want to move for some reason. It was as if a huge weight had fallen upon his shoulders. His legs refused to move. He tried to stand up, but he didn’t. He just continued to gaze at the stars. It was like they were putting him under a spell.

He yawned, his vision becoming blurry. His shoulders sagged, his eyelids were slowly closing. As rain pelted down on him, lightning flashed, and thunder sounded, Ash toppled to the ground, fast asleep.

Right here, right now, he was alone...
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That's it for this chapter. I hope you like it. If you do, post!

 

[Curfy97]

whoa.... cool!!!!!!! please continue!!!!!!

 

[Zero]

Don't post in threads older than 2 weeks old.

 

[PMJ]

Your blatant disregard for the rules makes me want to forcefully introduce my palm to your cheek. Please read the forum rules so you may not ever have this meeting. thank you.