Writing Pokemon-Extinct (Added Chapter One - check out or die)

Kingdra King

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Prologue

The year is 3012. The creatures we know as Pokemon have disappeared from Earth's surface. They were hunted, captured, forced to become slaves, and murdered for the fun of it. Gladiator matches were held. Pokemon would attack each other until one of them fell to the ground and died. Now, a group of scientists have come together to try to create Pokemon once again. They have built a lab on an island in the Pacific Ocean, thousands of miles from any civilization. A fossil of an extinct Pokemon has been found and the scientists are trying to bring it back to life. Their only worry is that someone, somewhere, will try to get their hands on the Pokemon.




Chapter One - The New Recruit

Guy walked slowly down the narrow hall. This dark, gloomy, sort of mechanical place was strange to him. He was used to open fields and tall trees, not the opposite. Only yesterday he had gotten the strange envelope.

Yesterday
“Get out of bed right now young man” shouted his mother from downstairs. Guy got out of bed slowly and got dressed. He brushed his teeth like every morning and brushed his navy style hair like every morning. “There’s some mail for you” his mother said. “Yeah ok” Guy said, still sleepy and not wanting to go to school. He picked up the pile of letters and started looking. Junk, more junk, taxes, more junk, and more taxes. “Boring…just like every day” he said. Then he saw the envelope on the floor. The strange stamp that sealed it shut was slightly familiar to him. He thought he saw it in some history text books. It was a round ball split in half with a button. The top half was red while the bottom half was white. He tried to take it off but the stupid thing was stuck pretty badly. Finally he got it off after breaking three plastic spoons and bending his mother’s favorite kitchen knife. He took the letter out of the envelope. It was decorated with many drawings of strange creatures. Some of them were flying in the air and some others were blowing fire and shooting water. There were ones that looked like wolves and some that looked like fire breathing dragons from fairy tails. At the top of the letter it said “Congratulations”. Guy started reading. “You have been chosen out of many young men to take part in our mission. You will be picked up at eight fifteen exactly”. Guy looked at his watch. Eight and seven minutes. “Yeah right” he thought. “Like they’ll make it on time if someone’s actually coming”. He kept reading. “A white and blue Porsche will be waiting in your lawn. On the door there will be a sign that will read “Island Labs”. You will be taken to the military airport “Kanto Military Airport” and you will be flown to our islands in the Pacific Ocean and there we will meet you. Safe trip”

Someone knocked at the door. Guy looked at the watch. Eight fifteen, right on time. His mother opened the door and standing there were two men in black suits, black pants, and black sunglasses. “We’re here to pick up your son miss, if that’s fine with you” the first man said. He had a small beard at the end of his chin the color of charcoal and a deep scar in his left ear. It looked like he had been through a war or two. “Guy didn’t tell me anything”. “It’s fine mom, I just got the letter”. “What about school” his mother asked the two men. This time the other man answered. He had no hair at all on his chin and was completely bald. You could see that it wasn’t natural. Maybe they were in a war together. “We’ve got it all set with his teachers”. “Ok, have fun sweety”.

Guy went with the two men onto the porch. The white and blue Porsche was waiting just like they said. He got into the back and the men sat up front. They started driving. “Can one of you tell me where we’re going” he asked them. “Sorry kid, they’ll tell you when you get there” the one with the scar said. “Why did you pick me” Guy asked. “We didn’t pick you, they did.” They said, annoyed by all of his questions. Frankly, they didn’t have any idea where the plane was going to take the boy, but they kept driving. “Who are they” Guy asked them. “We can’t tell you, now be quiet and sit still” the man with the beard and the scar shouted in a tone that shouted that he was very frustrated by Guy’s amount of questions. There was silence for the rest of the ride. When they got to the airport, the two men rushed to get Guy out of the car and get rid of him. “Now you’re on your own kid” the bald one said and rushed to get back in the car. The bearded man followed and together they drove away quickly from Guy.

Guy had no idea what to do. He was stranded in the middle of a military airport with no place to go. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder. He jumped, frightened, and turned around to see a beast of a man at least seven and a half foot tall towering above him. The man was dressed in the same clothes as the men in the Porsche and had a thin brown beard around his mouth. “Are you Guy” the man asked in a low voice. “Yes, are you here to take me” Guy asked the man. “Yes, now come with me, quickly” he said, turned around, and started walking towards a plane that had the words “Island Labs” printed on it’s tail. The two stepped into the large plain and found an empty seat for Guy. “Now you’re on your own kid” the man said and quickly left the aircraft. That was the second time he had heard the sentence “You’re on you own” that day. This scared Guy. He had no idea where he was going or what these people want from him but he was still following them.

He looked around the plane but couldn’t find any familiar faces. There was barely anyone his age on the plane and anyone who was his age was either busy or looked like they didn’t want to talk. “Hey there” a voice said behind him. Guy turned around and saw a girl about his age. She had blond hair and blue eyes, a good figure, and was very beautiful. “I’m Caroline” she said and sat down next to him. “I’m Guy, nice to meet you” Guy said. “So you got that letter this morning too” Caroline asked him. “Yeah, I did” he said. “Do you have any idea why we’re here or where we’re going”? “No idea” he said. “So, where are you from” Caroline asked. “The Plains” Guy said. “Wow, that’s awesome” she said. I heard that it’s very beautiful out there with all the open lands and trees”. “It sure is” he said. “How about you” Guy asked. “Where are you from”? “I’m from the City” she said. “It’s not like the Plains, it’s very busy and crowded, but full of fun and excitement” she told him with a proud look on her face. You could see that she loved the City and was a little scared to be away from it, just like he was from the Plains. “So, are you excited about going there, wherever that is”? “Well yeah” Guy said. “But I’m a little bit scared too; I’ve never been out of the Plains”. “Never” Caroline said in shock and you could see it on her face. “Never ever” she asked again just to make sure. “Never ever” Guy said. He didn’t think it was such a big deal. Many of his friends had never been of the Plains in their life. “How about you” Guy asked her. “What about me” she asked, not fully understanding the question. “Are you excited or scared” he asked. “Oh I get what you mean” Caroline said. “I’m both, just like you”. “Looks like we have a lot in common” Guy said happily. “I guess we do” she said. “I’m going to try to get some sleep now so I’ll see you when we land” she said and turned around. The rest of the flight was quiet and Guy had time to sleep too.

When they landed, Guy and Caroline exited the plane and started walking towards the building in front of them. They opened the door and stepped into the big lobby which was already full with young men and women and some teenagers their age. The fancy lobby that was already decorated with antique mirrors and big chandeliers was now filled with chairs and tables from wall to wall. There was a stage at the front of the lobby and on it was standing a man in his mid fiftys. He had a head full of curly hair the color of snow, big white eyebrows, and a big beard the same color. The man had a very serious look that showed how much he had past in his life so far. You could tell it was a lot. “Good morning” the man said. “My name is Professor Zachary but you can call me Professor Z”. “Now, who here has ever heard about Pokemon” he asked. Out of about a thousand people that were in that lobby, about fifty of them raised their hands. One of them was Caroline. “Yes you, the blond girl in the back, what is your name” he asked Caroline. “My name is Caroline, Professor” she said. “Well Caroline, what can you tell us about Pokemon” Dr. Z asked her. “Well Professor, I’ve heard from my teachers that they were creatures that could be taught and tamed. You could train them to fight other creatures just like them. Now they are extinct” she said with a proud tone. “You’re completely right dear” the professor said. “We here at Island Labs are trying to recreate those creatures, those Pokemon” he said. The second this was said the whole room became a big mess. Everyone started talking to each other loudly and the room sounded like a battle field. “Quiet down every body please” the professor said into the microphone. After a while the room became silent again. “Thank you, now, like I said we here are trying to recreate pokemon. You all will help us with our research and when we manage to actually create many pokemon, we will hand them out. But for now, we have three of them”. The crowd became loud again. This was even more exciting than earlier. “Please be quiet” the professor said. “Now, we will hold a raffle and the winners will get the pokemon. Each one of you has a number that was given to him and I will call three of them and their first names” he said. The crowd was very excited and every one started checking what their number was. “The first number is: Number 314. First name: Oren.” the professor said and somewhere in the crowd someone moved. A teenager about the age of Guy and Caroline got up. He had dark hair which was untidy and slightly tanned skin. He walked slowly to the stage as if he didn’t want what every one else wanted so badly. “Since you are first you may choose which Pokemon you want” Professor Z said happily and you could see and hear that he was waiting for this moment for a long time. “You have three choices: the fire type Pokemon – Charmander, the water type – Squirtle, and the grass type – Bulbasaur”. “I choose Charmander” Oren said. He took the ball that Guy had seen on the envelope. “Please show it to everyone” said the professor enthusiastically. Oren pressed the button and out came an orange creature that looked like a tiny dragon. In the crowd there were people that said how awesome it was and some people that called it cute. The tiny dragon named Charmander said his name and every one was amazed and started to clap and cheer. Charmander let out a small flame and they cheered even louder. “The second number is: Number 576 – Caroline”. Caroline let out a small squeak of joy and got up quickly. “Way to go” Guy said. She thanked him and ran to the stage. “I choose the grass one” she said without waiting for him to ask. “All right here you go” said the professor and gave her the ball. She pushed the button and out came a small and green dinosaur with a bulb on his back. “Bulbasaur” it said and every one clapped and cheered. Bulbasaur sent out vines from the bulb and whipped the air with them. Once again, the crowd clapped and cheered even louder. “Now it’s time for our last winner and he is: Number 6 – Guy”. Guy was so excited he barely got out of his seat. He ran to the stage to join Caroline and the other kind, Oren, to get his Pokemon. “You don’t have many options do you now” the professor said, chuckled, and gave him the ball. Guy pressed the button and out came and blue turtle. “Squirtle” it said. The crowed clapped and cheered like before. Squirtle let out a jet of bubbles from it’s mouth that filled the room. Everyone threw their hands up into the air and cheered for all three Pokemon and their new owners. “Now, you lucky three will have special meetings with me and some of the other scientists and also with someone who was once a Pokemon trainer himself” Professor Z said to them quietly so the cheering crowd wouldn’t here thought it wasn’t really necessary because you could not here anything over the roar of the crowd. Professor Z turned back to the crowd. “All of you will be given a cabin number and that is where you shall stay until you return to your homes. I will call out the names and cabin numbers” said the professor and started calling out names and numbers to the crowd and little by little the crowd started to leave the lobby. He stopped for a moment to tell Guy, Caroline, and Oren something. “You three will be in cabin eight, that will be the trainer’s cabin. Now run along” he said and returned to the crowd.

Caroline and Guy started walking towards their cabin. “Isn’t this amazing” she said to guy with a smile from ear to ear. “Yeah I know, how weird is it that both of us got Pokemon” he said. “Well it was random so anyone could have gotten it” Oren, the other kid who got a Pokemon suddenly said. They hadn’t noticed that he had started walking next to them. “So where are you from” Guy asked. “Waste Lands” he said. Guy and Caroline stopped walking. “You’re from the Waste Lands” Caroline asked, shocked. “Yeah, is there a problem” Oren asked, not understanding what the big deal was. “I’ve heard that there are bandits and murderers in the Waste Lands, is that true” Guy asked, shocked just like Caroline. “A little, but not as much as people say that there is” he said. “The part of the Waste Lands where I lived was actually pretty peaceful, we haven’t seen any robbery or violence in over a month now”. “Isn’t it scary” Caroline asked him, still wanting to know more. “It is, but only when you see something happen” Oren said. “Did you ever see a robbery or some violence” Guy asked him. “Yes I did” he said. “One night I woke up because I heard some noises so I went downstairs. When I went into the kitchen, I saw a man with a ski mask that was covering his face. The second he saw me, he jumped out the window and ran away. But since then I have been scared to go into the kitchen or anywhere in our house at night”. “Wow, you’re really brave” Caroline said to him. “I didn’t do anything, he just didn’t want to get caught, and that’s all” Oren said like it was no big deal. “Well it doesn’t matter, I still think you’re pretty brave for scaring him away like that” she said. “Yeah I guess you are pretty brave” Guy said. “Thank you but I still think that it was nothing” Oren said. The three teenagers were so busy talking that they hadn’t stopped to look around. Around them were open fields of flowers which stretched out for miles and miles and after them were purplish mountains which reached the clouds. “Wow, this is such an amazing place” Guy said after a minute of taking in the view. “You’re right, it’s so beautiful” Caroline said.

After about another ten minutes of walking the three reached a small cabin made of red wood. There were three small glass windows on all sides of the cabin except for at the front. Around the house was green grass and you can see that it was carefully trimmed. A few feet from the house was a beautiful lake with crystal clear water. Surrounding it were tall and green pine trees that let out a nice smell. Leading to the cabin was a stone path with a metal fence on it’s sides which was the same color as the stones. All three of them, Guy, Caroline, and Oren walked onto the path and up to the wooden door of the cabin. On the door was a sign and on it was written “Cabin Eight – Trainer Cabin” in silver letters. Guy knocked on the door three times and a young man opened it for them. “Hey there” Caroline said. “You must be the new trainers. My name is Dave and I’m going to be your Cabin Master. I’ll be in charge of you guys and help you with any needs you have while you are here” Dave said. “My name is Caroline and these are Guy and Oren” she said. “Nice to meet you all” he said and started showing them the cabin. “You will be sleeping in this room. There is a bunk bed for two of you and another bed that only one can sleep in”. “I get the single bed” Caroline said and jumped on the bed. “I guess you two get the bunk bed” she said, still happy about getting the single bed. “I don’t care, do you” Guy asked. “Not at all” Oren said and started unpacking his things. “Do you have a Pokemon too” Guy asked Dave. “Actually I do, do you want to see it” he asked them. “Of course” they said. Dave took out a ball and pressed the button. Out of the ball came an orange and white wolf about the size of the kids. “Arcanine” it said. “Amazing” they said. “Yeah, Arcanine is pretty amazing” Dave said and returned Arcanine to the ball. “Ok so go ahead and unpack your things and maybe try to get a little sleep because you have a big day of work waiting for you tomorrow” he said and left the room. After they unpacked their things, the three of them went to sleep, waiting for what the next day will bring them.


Chapter 2 coming soon!
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

a few spelling errors, but nice otherwise. ("They're" should be "Their" in the last sentence)

At first glance, the story seems interesting, but try to keep it real ok? :p Good luck!
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

Kingdra King said:
what do you meen real?

oh and about the spelling errors I don't live in the states

Try not to move the plotline into an unrealistic direction, and keep things close to the original idea. You haven't done that yet, but stories like this one can easily get messed up by unrealistic stuff.
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

I edited it for you and IM'd it to you. Good luck with it!
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

I like it ^ IM'd :S. A very original Idea but please watch your spelling and grammar, like starting with a captial letter. I appreicate that you don't come from the states so I will take note of that! Have fun wrtiting!
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

Dark Marc said:
I like it ^ IM'd :S. A very original Idea but please watch your spelling and grammar, like starting with a captial letter. I appreicate that you don't come from the states so I will take note of that! Have fun wrtiting!

I just had to quote that lol XD.


But yeah, other than spelling and grammar, this story has a very good start. And as long as you're willing to put some effort in writing, i'm sure this'll become a great fanfic.
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

Dark Marc said:
I like it ^ IM'd :S. A very original Idea but please watch your spelling and grammar, like starting with a captial letter. I appreicate that you don't come from the states so I will take note of that! Have fun wrtiting!

thats just hilarious man
 
RE: Pokemon-Extinct

chapter one is up!!!!!!!!

Look in the first post!

P.S: I hope 3135 words is long enough for some of you (coughcoughLennycoughcough)
 
Uhh, it's not bad, but whenever a new person is speaking, separate their lines. The big walls of text are also a problem. Try separating it to make it look neater and easier to read.
 
All i can see that needs change are the big blocks of text. You should read Negative Zero's guide on writing. It's stickied in the Writing Corner. There's a whole part on how to split paragraphs, i suggest you take a look :)

Other than that, there's nothing wrong with the story. Nothing i can think of anyway.
 
Nice chapter :D My only problem is you sort of add descriptive parts of the setting, like a reader isnt that much interested on how many windows are on a house, otherwise very nice :D
 
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