Writing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of War. Pls. comment.

[Ho-Oh_Master]

This Fanfic is written in Script format.

================Prologue================
*scene is a prison cell with one pokemon there.*

Protagonist: I don't know who am I. All I know is that I am Human and my name is Alberto. The reason why I have been locked up here because of one event that has changed my life.
<flashback>
*scene shows Alberto as a Human being beaten up by Bullies*
<end of flashback>
Alberto: No, not that event.
<flashback>
*scene shifts to somewhere in nothingness*
Mystery Voice: Hey, You!
Alberto: Who? Me?
Mystery Voice: Yeah, You?
Alberto: Who are you?
Mystery voice: There is no point in knowing me.
Alberto: Can you tell me why I am here?
Mystery Voice: No, but I will ask you one question to see what pokemon you will be.
Alberto: What?!
Mystery Voice: Oh nothing. Let's begin:
What is your favorite basic starter pokemon?
Alberto: Hmm, I choose Charmander.
Mystery voice: You are a Brave type so you will be...





















































A Bidoof!!!
Alberto: What?! What are you talking about? I'm Human!
*a vortex appears*
*Alberto gets sucked into the vortex*
Alberto: Nooooooooo!!!!
<end of flashback>
Alberto: I know, I was surprised to be a Bidoof. More from the story next time....

 

[Ho-Oh_Master]

RE: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of War.

==============Chapter 1: The beginning==============
*scene is a prison cell with Alberto there.*
Alberto: Hello? Oh yeah, more about the story.
<Flashback>
*Scene shifts to a demented place where a battle had happened and a Rattata is there, crying*
Tyson, sobbing: Why? Why would someone do this? They destroyed my clan, my home and killed my family and friends? They are going to pay for this, I swear!
[Tyson runs away, from the demented place to a peculiar beach]
Tyson, still sad: These people have destroyed everything dear to me and I didn't do anything to stop them. I am completely useless. Hey, what's that?!
[Tyson notices a Bidoof, lying unconsciously on the beach]
[A stomach growled]
[Tyson grins]
Tyson: Hey, I have no food and I am hungry, so why not just eat the Bidoof?
[Tyson runs closer to the Bidoof only to notice that it woke up]
Tyson: Curses! So close.
[The Bidoof wakes up]
Alberto: Ugh, what happened.
Tyson: Oh, hi!
[Alberto is surprised]
Alberto: Aaaaah!! A talking Rattata!
[Alberto passes out]
*Five minutes later*
[Alberto wakes-up]
Alberto: Aaah!! A talking Rattata!
Tyson: Relax! It's normal. Man, Your one crazy bidoof!
Alberto: Bidoof? I am Human!
Tyson: Jeez, You are crazy! But you know what? I like you! Let's be friends!
Alberto,mumbling: (Great...I'm friends with hallucinations. Oh well, I guess I'll just stick around with him)
Tyson: Come again?
Alberto: Nothing....
<end of flash back>
What will happen next? Who destroyed Tyson's home? What kind of clan was Tyson part of? More next time...