First of all I'll start out by saying this is not your average pokemon fan-fic. After reading and writing numerous fan-fics I have noticed that people often concentrate on one of a few things in pokemon fan-fics that often hurt their potential. FFW (fan-fic writers) often concentrate on the battles between pokemon with trainers yelling to their pokemon what to do and describing the pokemon following through with that action and the other pokemon's response to that action. This might be enough for the reader to tell what's going on, but it doesn't get them engaged. If you are guilty of this realize that we can get plenty of that from playing the games, watching the cartoons or reading the manga, and get much more out of them. Another problem that occurs is the rushed start. The FFW becomes so concerned about the overall plot later on in the story that he/she doesn't have enough of a hook to grab the readers attention. This often results in an over-dramatic beginning that disappoints the reader further on in the story or in a boring introductory chapter that does little more than retell the reader the story of Ash Ketchum leaving Pallet Town. In other words I mean that it starts out with a kid's normal life, but wants adventure and decides to leave home to capture a pokemon and make a name for himself in the world. The other possibility is a prologue that begins by capturing either the majesty or darkness of a certain legendary that pertains to the story's plot. Sorry folks, but both of these get redundant and the reader may decide that this fan-fic is not worth the time to read. That could mean the difference between a fan-fic that lives or dies without a single post. Make your story different than the rest. Oh, an don't start out with a t.v.! That really is just an excuse for not being able to think of something original.
I've told you what not to do, so now let me tell me what to do instead. Rather than concentrate on a meaningless battle enhance it with an engaging plot that goes deeper than simple adjective descriptions, such as "the raging flames scorched the Squirtle's shell". At first glance this may seem okay, but this really is an average description that does nothing to enhance the readers experience. If you must begin with a legendary pokemon or another, make it feel legendary. Be careful with your word choice and think of the positive and negative connotations of the words you choose. Do they fit the pokemon you are describing or do they sound like an excuse or exaggeration? Lastly, when you are about to write the story think about the readers. Ask yourself "What do I want the readers to get from reading this?" or "How do I want the reader to feel at this point?" Do you want your story to be a message, funny, cynical, epic, symbolic, meaningful? Don't try to use single words to portray the possibility that there is a deeper meaning.
I understand this may take practice and that this won't fix the plague of dead and dying fan-fics, but hopefully it will improve the quality of the writing of those FFWs that heed my advice.
Alright, now for my story.
WARNING! This story is categorized as PG-13 for violence and mild language
This includes death of both people and pokemon, blood, and dismemberment.
Also, as a note I am working on a site on which you may view this in a more interactive and exciting way rather than a field of text on a blank page. I am also working on two other projects. One includes a kind of pokemon comic. The other is a science fiction novel entitled Scorch. There is a link to the site created by me, with thanks to MK63 for the banner, made for the book. I do plan on publishing it.
Aster Flux kneeled on the padded knee of his new black and gold uniform. His long black bangs hung in the air beneath his bowed head. Dark emerald eyes beneath bushy eyebrows stared incessantly at the cold steel floor.
In front of him the Captain of his former division walked within a foot of his head and announced to the crowd of members behind and far below Aster. They were on a raised steel platform in the Grand Council Chamber that took up the entire bottom level of the massive underground portion of Headquarters.
“We are gathered here today in His name. Today marks the initiation of His Grand Plan and our newest branch of elite operatives.” He paused to let it sink in to the crowd. To a majority of them, especially Aster and the two operatives to either side of him, this was old news. Even so it was invigorating.
“I will begin with the announcement and recognition of the…newest branch.” He walked smoothly and with purpose in front of the operative to his right. After his last silent step died another step was heard that seemed to draw the breath from everyone. Straight ahead of Aster, He rose from his throne of pure dark obsidian.
He had insisted on only the purest and high quality obsidian to make his throne, and the team in charge of assembling it spent five months and millions of poke simply gathering the obsidian and ridding of absolutely every impurity from it before construction. Another month was dedicated to creating it, as it was meant to be flawless and a single impurity would ruin it. A group of pokemon specifically raised to His instructions were used to make it in a clean room, kept so by other pokemon trained directly by Him.
The entire congregation watched their magnified leader, clothed in synthetic shadows beside the Captain. He spoke one word and the entire room seemed to shiver as an unearthly warmth flowed up the spine and back down as an unbearable chill, “Rise.”
To his right the operative known as Ian Medi rose to his feet and tensed the muscles in the back of his lower legs to choke his uneasiness. Their King spoke again, “Ian Medi.” The moment his name was first uttered Ian flickered. Aster couldn’t explain it. He changed, there was something different about him Ian, but at the same time he was exactly the same.
Now, his former Captain stood in front of him. Shortly after the King stood next to him. “Rise.” It was simply said, but a willingness to obey His word forced him to do so. Even so, his uneasiness fought back. It was a simple task, but now it seemed like the hardest thing he had ever been asked to do. Doing the same as Ian he tensed his calves to stop him from shaking.
What he was to do now was even harder. It went against everything in his training. Unlike his previous encounters with the His Majesty, he had been commanded before the ceremony to look the Him directly in the eyes after rising. He was afraid to hesitate, and it was that fear that made him do it. He saw the eyes, he heard his name, but he didn’t remember any of it. The only evidence that it had happened was the Captain and the King walking to the only one left kneeling. There was one other thing that he didn’t notice at first and only crept up to him over time. He wasn’t shaking anymore and his muscles weren’t tense. He was just there. In a moment he would notice another difference.
“Rise.” No shiver. He could hear signs of it coming from the crowd below him, but he didn’t feel it himself. “Cogito Thade.” Aster smirked as he realized this was a moment he would remember, but Cogito wouldn’t. The Cogito that remembered everything would not remember this great moment.
A moment later the King sat in his prefect throne, directly down the line from Aster, at eye level. He wanted to look at them to see what he missed, but it wasn’t possible. You could only see His eyes if you were looking directly at them and if He wanted you to see them. He whispered a few words that weren’t audible to anyone, not even the Captain. He was sure that he was the only one that had even seen his mouth move.
Beyond the shadows one could see the faintest sign of a grim smile.
The Captain began to speak again. “One hundred signed up for the training that would promise three of them the chance to wear this uniform. After the entry briefing seventy-three followed through. Of those seventy-three, twenty-four finished the training. The finishers were given four different tests and the three before you and me finished on top. They will lead our newest branch, followed by the twelve trainees who scored the next highest in the three core tests. Cogito Thades is their Captain, followed by Aster Flux, and then Ian Medi. Their branch has exclusive treatment and ranks as highest among the core branch’s and lightly among the Executive Branches. And now, a word from the Grand General Delios.”
Another platform descended from the ceiling, on which stood the second most powerful man in the organization, the King’s right hand man and advisor, Delios. Rumor had it that long ago the two were once enemies, but after an undisclosed yet significant event Delios changed and became best friends with the King.
“Fellow soldiers, united under His Glorious Majesty, we stand as one of the largest and most powerful organization in the world. But we have something the others do not. Our King separates us from all the rest. And now, as of a few moments ago our tree, that was grown from the seed that is our King, grew the final branch necessary to begin his Conquest! Tomorrow the newly named…”
Here it was, the moment Aster had been waiting for, the revelation of the new branch’s name. The branch he lead.
“…Aura League."
I've told you what not to do, so now let me tell me what to do instead. Rather than concentrate on a meaningless battle enhance it with an engaging plot that goes deeper than simple adjective descriptions, such as "the raging flames scorched the Squirtle's shell". At first glance this may seem okay, but this really is an average description that does nothing to enhance the readers experience. If you must begin with a legendary pokemon or another, make it feel legendary. Be careful with your word choice and think of the positive and negative connotations of the words you choose. Do they fit the pokemon you are describing or do they sound like an excuse or exaggeration? Lastly, when you are about to write the story think about the readers. Ask yourself "What do I want the readers to get from reading this?" or "How do I want the reader to feel at this point?" Do you want your story to be a message, funny, cynical, epic, symbolic, meaningful? Don't try to use single words to portray the possibility that there is a deeper meaning.
I understand this may take practice and that this won't fix the plague of dead and dying fan-fics, but hopefully it will improve the quality of the writing of those FFWs that heed my advice.
Alright, now for my story.
WARNING! This story is categorized as PG-13 for violence and mild language
This includes death of both people and pokemon, blood, and dismemberment.
Also, as a note I am working on a site on which you may view this in a more interactive and exciting way rather than a field of text on a blank page. I am also working on two other projects. One includes a kind of pokemon comic. The other is a science fiction novel entitled Scorch. There is a link to the site created by me, with thanks to MK63 for the banner, made for the book. I do plan on publishing it.
Pokemon: The Hunted
Aster Flux kneeled on the padded knee of his new black and gold uniform. His long black bangs hung in the air beneath his bowed head. Dark emerald eyes beneath bushy eyebrows stared incessantly at the cold steel floor.
In front of him the Captain of his former division walked within a foot of his head and announced to the crowd of members behind and far below Aster. They were on a raised steel platform in the Grand Council Chamber that took up the entire bottom level of the massive underground portion of Headquarters.
“We are gathered here today in His name. Today marks the initiation of His Grand Plan and our newest branch of elite operatives.” He paused to let it sink in to the crowd. To a majority of them, especially Aster and the two operatives to either side of him, this was old news. Even so it was invigorating.
“I will begin with the announcement and recognition of the…newest branch.” He walked smoothly and with purpose in front of the operative to his right. After his last silent step died another step was heard that seemed to draw the breath from everyone. Straight ahead of Aster, He rose from his throne of pure dark obsidian.
He had insisted on only the purest and high quality obsidian to make his throne, and the team in charge of assembling it spent five months and millions of poke simply gathering the obsidian and ridding of absolutely every impurity from it before construction. Another month was dedicated to creating it, as it was meant to be flawless and a single impurity would ruin it. A group of pokemon specifically raised to His instructions were used to make it in a clean room, kept so by other pokemon trained directly by Him.
The entire congregation watched their magnified leader, clothed in synthetic shadows beside the Captain. He spoke one word and the entire room seemed to shiver as an unearthly warmth flowed up the spine and back down as an unbearable chill, “Rise.”
To his right the operative known as Ian Medi rose to his feet and tensed the muscles in the back of his lower legs to choke his uneasiness. Their King spoke again, “Ian Medi.” The moment his name was first uttered Ian flickered. Aster couldn’t explain it. He changed, there was something different about him Ian, but at the same time he was exactly the same.
Now, his former Captain stood in front of him. Shortly after the King stood next to him. “Rise.” It was simply said, but a willingness to obey His word forced him to do so. Even so, his uneasiness fought back. It was a simple task, but now it seemed like the hardest thing he had ever been asked to do. Doing the same as Ian he tensed his calves to stop him from shaking.
What he was to do now was even harder. It went against everything in his training. Unlike his previous encounters with the His Majesty, he had been commanded before the ceremony to look the Him directly in the eyes after rising. He was afraid to hesitate, and it was that fear that made him do it. He saw the eyes, he heard his name, but he didn’t remember any of it. The only evidence that it had happened was the Captain and the King walking to the only one left kneeling. There was one other thing that he didn’t notice at first and only crept up to him over time. He wasn’t shaking anymore and his muscles weren’t tense. He was just there. In a moment he would notice another difference.
“Rise.” No shiver. He could hear signs of it coming from the crowd below him, but he didn’t feel it himself. “Cogito Thade.” Aster smirked as he realized this was a moment he would remember, but Cogito wouldn’t. The Cogito that remembered everything would not remember this great moment.
A moment later the King sat in his prefect throne, directly down the line from Aster, at eye level. He wanted to look at them to see what he missed, but it wasn’t possible. You could only see His eyes if you were looking directly at them and if He wanted you to see them. He whispered a few words that weren’t audible to anyone, not even the Captain. He was sure that he was the only one that had even seen his mouth move.
Beyond the shadows one could see the faintest sign of a grim smile.
The Captain began to speak again. “One hundred signed up for the training that would promise three of them the chance to wear this uniform. After the entry briefing seventy-three followed through. Of those seventy-three, twenty-four finished the training. The finishers were given four different tests and the three before you and me finished on top. They will lead our newest branch, followed by the twelve trainees who scored the next highest in the three core tests. Cogito Thades is their Captain, followed by Aster Flux, and then Ian Medi. Their branch has exclusive treatment and ranks as highest among the core branch’s and lightly among the Executive Branches. And now, a word from the Grand General Delios.”
Another platform descended from the ceiling, on which stood the second most powerful man in the organization, the King’s right hand man and advisor, Delios. Rumor had it that long ago the two were once enemies, but after an undisclosed yet significant event Delios changed and became best friends with the King.
“Fellow soldiers, united under His Glorious Majesty, we stand as one of the largest and most powerful organization in the world. But we have something the others do not. Our King separates us from all the rest. And now, as of a few moments ago our tree, that was grown from the seed that is our King, grew the final branch necessary to begin his Conquest! Tomorrow the newly named…”
Here it was, the moment Aster had been waiting for, the revelation of the new branch’s name. The branch he lead.
“…Aura League."
