Writing Pokemon: Trainer's Quest Book One (In Progress)

[CJBlazerX87]

Beep! Beep! Beep! At the third beep, Josh mumbled and shut off his alarm clock. The black-haired youth then jumped out of the bed and headed to his closet. He then grabbed his brand-new outfit out of his closet and went to change his clothes. He came back out with a pair of black jeans, a white tee-shirt and a black jacket on. As soon as he tied a gold headband around his head and headed downstairs,

Josh's mother was fixing breakfast as he went to sit at the table.

"Well, hello, son," said his mother in a very cheerful. "Happy Birthday! I fixed you your favorite, Pancakes and chopped sausage."

"Oh wow," said Josh with excitement. His mother sat his plate at his spot and he almost immediately began eating the three pancakes drizzled in syrup and chopped sausages.

With the pancakes and sausage gone, Josh took his plate up and looked at his mother, who was no longer in her cheerful mood.

"Mom, whats wrong?" asked Josh, looking concerned.

"Nothing, its just," said his mother, sounding very distant. "Today's the day you become a trainer."

"Yeah, what about it?" asked Josh.

"Now, I may not be about to see you anymore," she answered. "You will be busy doing the League challenge."

Josh gave a big smile and said, "You need not worry about it. I will contact you as often as possible."

His mother gave a faint smile and then reached under the kitchen table. "I guess you are right. Before you go though, I would like you to have this." She pulled out something that looked like a pouch with a leather belt tied with it.

"What is this?" asked Josh.

"A trainer belt," she answered him. "I bought it the other day for your birthday, and now its time for you to have it."

"Thanks," said Josh as he took it from her. He heard some jingling as he tied it around his waist.

"There is 2000 tokens in there as well," said his mother. Then she reached over and gave him a big hug. "Farewell, my son."

"Alright, see ya, mom," said Josh, breaking away from the hug and heading to the door. "I shall remember that promise and contact you as soon as I get my Starter."

"Okay," she yelled back as the door closed to his house.



Outside, it was a beautiful spring morning as Josh began to head down the path to the main town of Isen. He saw some Pokemon playing in the woods near the path and smiled.

Eventually, he arrived in Isen Town. It was made of a clearing in the Kinleaf Forest and made of a few houses circling a white building. That building was the Isen Town Pokemon Gildor League Registration facility.

Josh immediately headed for the building where he saw a young boy come out with a gold Encore Ball in his hands and smiling. He wore a blue outfit and a yellow vest.

"Are you here for registering?" said the young boy as Josh came closer. "If so, you are too late for the Starter of the Day. I, Malix Toranda, has the Rogon special."

"Oh, good for you," said Josh. "What does this have to do with me? I just came for a Starter."

"Because I challenge you to a Trainer Battle with whatever Starter Pokemon you choose," said Nathen. "Meet me in the outskirts of the town as soon as possible."

"Will do," said Josh. "See ya then." Josh then entered the building and headed to the front desk.

The building was spacious with a Lounge Area on the side and a white main desk near the back. There were two doors on each side of the main desk and a red-haired man operating a computer was sitting at the desk.

"Can I help you?" asked the red-haired man.

"I am Josh Terron and here to receive my new Starter," said Josh. The red-haired man began typing on the computer and both doors opened up.

"Professor Malvron is waiting beyond these doors," said the man.

"Alright, thanks," Josh flashed a smile and entered in the room. It was enormous with shelves of books and things lined up in the back and had rows of desks similar to the front desk.

Suddenly, an explosion happened that caused a middle-aged professor with a brown beard to come from out of on of the shelves. He looked at Josh and smiled. From behind him was a small puppy with a metallic skull on its head. The puppy yapped when he saw Josh and ran up to him.

"Looks like Houndour likes you," said the Professor. Josh caught Houndour and held him up. He laughed when Houndour barked, but then it turned to pain when it bite his hand.

"Ouch," yelled Josh as he rubbed his hands.

The professor gave a hearty laugh and Houndour began chasing his tail.

"Greetings, you are Josh Terron, I am guessing," said the professor. "I am Professor Malvron and this is Houndour, one of the starters you can choose from."

"He's a Starter, awesome," said Josh. "May I choose him."

"That's up to Houndour," said Malvron. "Not me." Josh knelt down to Houndour, who stopped chasing his tail and looked up with his little puppy eyes.

"Hey, Houndour, do you wish to join me on a quest where you could grow up to be strong and get trained by me?" The puppy yapped and licked Josh's face.

"Well, there you have it," said Malvron, with a big smile on his face. "Houndour is all yours. From my research, he knows the moves Bite and Ember so far. He's a Fire and Dark type in case you didn't know."

"Of course I knew that," said Josh. Malvron reached in his pocket and then handed Josh a small Pokeball.

"This is his Pokeball," said Malvron. "Take good care of him and good luck in training him." Josh made the Pokeball larger and aimed it at the little puppy.

"Houndour, its time for our journey to begin," said Josh with a smile. Houndour returned to the ball as a being of red energy as the Pokeball closed.

"Now, onto the next business," exclaimed Malvron. He went to the nearest computer while Josh shrunk the Pokeball and placed it inside his jacket pocket. Malvron began tapping buttons until a sceen showed up with Josh's photo and some information about him. ""This is the Registastrator. Now, all we need to do now is just upload it to your trainer card and- There." A beep sounded and a gold card slid out of the computer slot.

Josh took the card and looked closely at it. It had a image of him at the top left corner and had some info about him at the bottom. The title "Joshua Terron, Pokemon Trainer" was written at the very top.

"This is your Trainer ID Card," explained the Professor. "This sigbnifies that as of today, you are an official Pokemon Trainer and able to compete in the League Challenge. You do know what that is don't you?"

"Of course, thats when I have to win in all seven Gyms and get their badges, right?" asked Josh. "I might as well get started now. Kinleaf is the first."

"Yes, that is all correct," said Malvron. "Kinleaf Town is at the heart of the Kinleaf Forest and has a grass-gym. Thanks to the Forest, you might be able to gather other Pokemon on the way. Use these to catch them."

Malvron then reached into his pocket again and retrieved two more small Pokeballs. He handed them to Josh and Josh placed them in the pouch his mother gave him.

"You can carry up to six Pokemon at a time, so choose wisley which ones you catch," continued the Professor. "I will give you the first two empty Pokeballs. Kinleaf Town has a Pokemon Market where you could buy more."

"Okay, so am I finallly ready to get on my way?" asked Josh. Malvron chuckled.

"Only you can decide if you're ready," said Malvron. "If you are referring to me getting you prepared, then yes, you may now start."

 

[Incinermyn]

When writing an original region fanfic, you have to keep in mind that most people aren't going to understand things that are actually of your own creation. This isn't to say you have to completely write it like a fully-detailed novel, but it helps to be as elaborate as you can with explanations about who your characters are, what the region is like, and a lot of other nitty-gritty background information that canon fics wouldn't otherwise require. It's not hard or monotonous to write this stuff out, but it does take a bit of creative thinking to lay out the baseline ideas well enough so that they're not overwhelming to your readers and easy enough for them to grasp.

First off, would I be wrong in presuming that your main character Josh is essentially your rendition of the canon characters from the actual games? Given you've already established that he's a new trainer from the get-go, that much sticks in my mind right away. It's not a mistake to model a character like him after previous incarnations from the video games, but it's also not widely appreciated since most characters like them end up drying out right away (in the sense that they're predictable and usually don't have a lot of thought put into their backstories and character development). Because of that, I'd urge you to reveal a bit more detail about him right near the beginning of this chapter. Namely, besides living in a new region, what makes Josh different from any other budding trainer getting a starter Pokemon as far as his attitude, upbringing, and demeanor are concerned? Even if he dresses differently from some of the canon characters and get a Houndour as his starter, that doesn't say much about him as an original character. Also, hinting at his home life would be good since it seems you really skimped on the description of his house and his mother, which is critical at the beginning of a journey fic because it lets your audience in on how your character's way of thinking might be like (straightforward, creative, instinctive) based on how he was raised.

Moving on, I'd like to address the issue of introducing your region a little more adequately. As a writer of non-canon Original Region fanfiction myself, I find it better to introduce the general setting as soon as you can. For my story Feral Twilight, I originally waited until chapter two to actually give an brief intro to my region of Ronac by describing its basic layout, but I feel you'd have done well to include something for your region of Gildor as soon as you had Josh start on his trek into Isen Town. This would include talking about just where Isen is located within the region too. You might also want to do a better job of describing the town since it seemed a bit too quick to me in order to leave the impression that it is a town as opposed to just a neighborhood (in real life, a few buildings do not make up an actual townscape).

Lastly, you should work on developing your side characters (like Malix and Professor Malvron), their interactions with Josh, and their significance to the plot in general. One can presume easily that Malix is going to be Josh's rival and that Malvron is the region's main authority in the field of Pokemon studies, but you should elaborate on who they are as people more. Professor Malvron isn't probably going to have as big of impact on the plot as Malix, but defining him as a highly educated man would've helped make him more convincing here in the first chapter (or if you bring him back later on, show that he has a lot of knowledge at his disposal than just what seems like tutorial information). Malix, on the other hand, is probably going to be playing a stronger role as the storyline progresses. As for what, though, it's a little hard to guess right now since it's only the first chapter.

And that's the worst of what I wanted to cover. There were occasional spelling and grammar errors I noticed here-and-there, but this stuff was more urgent (and I'm almost out of writing room since I had to finish this via my phone's mobile web). The only thing I found a little distracting, however, was your use of verbs describing how people said something immediately after dialogue followed by the speaker's name instead of having the speaker's name followed by a descriptive verb. Technically, it isn't wrong, but it's not common these days and sticks out if it's not continuously used throughout a chapter (though, that may just be from my personal writing experience).