Writing Teal ink

Teal

Teal

黄前さん らしい ね
Member
teal ink flows gently
suddenly forming a thread
of joy and sorrow


a smile when you eat
birds whisper about our love
ants are our small guests

the sky shines cold light
covered by countless brown leaves
the lush green meadow

a freezing wind squeals
winter, my cold fireside
no warmth from others

wake with the nature
give everything a new life
my heart thawing out


a circle closing
opinions of teal ink
simple art, haiku
 
You said:
teal ink flows gently
suddenly forming a thread
of joy and sorrow


a smile when you eat
birds whisper about our love
ants are our small guests

the sky shines cold light
covered by countless brown leaves
the lush green meadow

a freezing wind squeals
winter, my cold fireside
no warmth from others

wake with the nature
give everything a new life
my heart thawing out


a circle closing
opinions of teal ink
simple art, haiku
Click to expand...

That's yours!

Mine said:
Teal ink flows gently.
Suddenly forming a thread.
Of joy and sorrow.

A smile when you eat.
Birds whisper about our love.
Ants are our small guests.

The sky shines cold light.
Covered by countless brown leaves.
The lush green meadow.

A freezing wind squeals.
Winter, my cold fireside.
No warmth from others.

Wake with the nature.
Give everything a new life.
My heart thawing out.

A circle closing.
Opinions of teal ink.
Simple art, haiku.
Click to expand...

It's a good poem, just has very Big Issues...
So I fixed them, just c/p mine into yours, and its fine!
 
Umm. I like haikus without(/with minmal) punctuation and you set many of those wrong anyway (ruining some ideas). No punctuation leaves more room for imagination on how the things are bound together, also they don't use them in original Japanese haikus. Thanks for commenting though. ;)
If you find some grammatical mistakes though, feel free to note me since English is not my native language.

Also, if someone got confused: these are four seasonal (and bound) haikus with a haiku-foreword and haiku-afterword (the afterword sucks but whatever ;D ).

If you want to read them that way though, here you go:

Teal ink flows gently
suddenly forming a thread
of joy and sorrow.


A smile when you eat,
birds whisper about our love.
Ants are our small guests.

The sky shines cold light.
Covered by countless brown leaves:
the lush green meadow.

A freezing wind squeals.
Winter, my cold fireside.
No warmth from others.

Wake with the nature.
Give everything a new life:
my heart thawing out.


A circle closing,
opinions of teal ink.
Simple art, haiku.
 
o_O Sorry, I totally read those wrong. I actually read them as free verse...
But if they are Haiku's they still do need to be capatalized.
 
No, you usually don't even capitalize haikus. ;)

@Bot: Cool story bro. ;D
 
I have to ask you to remove the color tags in the OP, please. They're not allowed for use within written works posted in the Writer's Corner, and kind of make the poems hard to see.

Also, haikus written in English should still have some capitalization and punctuation since they still have to maintain proper sentence structure, but it's not a big deal if they don't.
 
The colour is part of the art. The rules say that colours and tags should not be abused and you sure can't call that abuse. It's so ironic that you replied in colour by the way. The poems aren't much longer than your post. :D

From what I have seen, haikus usually don't have capitalization and especially not punctuation, search google for yourself if you don't believe me.

Edit: disabled graphical smilies.
 
I didn't say it was abuse, but teal is still a bit harder to read against a light colored background than the dark-pink/plum I use. Besides, it wasn't an demand, just a request.
 
You actually do...
I got an F on an assignment for English, because I didn't capitalize the haiku's...
+ Apollo is usually right...
 
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