this is a story I started a few days ago, and I have one chapter, and approximately 5 pages done so far, and I really like it. I'm aware its not perfect, so bear with me. be as critical as you can! find some thing wrong with it!
"Wait up Scarlett!"
I ran down the ally, hoping one of us would chicken out. "c'mon Al!"
she replied oh-so-wittily. Danielle was lagging behind, anchoring Gabe, due to the hand holding. Gabe and Danielle had been going out recently, and they wanted everyone they saw to know. me and Scarlett would often joke when we were alone, "Aw man! Danielle is taken!"
then Scarlett would reply
"and Gabe was SO hot!" and we would burst into laughter. we made it out of the ally and came onto the street, and continued running. we finally got to the old decrepit house, with no windows. I could see the fear in Scarlett's hazel eyes, but also the determination. Gabe and Danielle finally caught up, and Gabe had sweat all over his extra large t-shirt, and Daniel's brunette hair was messed up from tossing it around. while Danielle was applying more mascara, I said "who wants to go in first?"
this was ridiculous. we were in 8th grade, and we were going into a "haunted" house on a dare. Eden had dared us, and then said "the darer can never do the dare!"
stupidest rule ever. Gabe hesitantly rose his hand and Danielle gasped. "sure" he said.
"I'll go next"scarlett said.
"me next"I said. Danielle whimpered. "do I have to go in?"
"yes" I replied. "you're going in with us."
Gabe walked in, and we all went in in a line, in the appointed order. It was so dark in there I couldn't see Scarlett in front of me. as my eyes got accustomed to the light, I saw a whole lot of furniture with white sheets over them, just like in the old cartoons. "if this wasn't real" Scarlett said "I would say it was cliché" we noticed a staircase an Scarlett said "c'mon let go!"
I was hesitant. Scarlett ran up before we could react, so we were forced up with her. not only did she not stop at the second floor, but she kept going until there were no more stairs. we saw each floor blur past us, as we ran up the stairs. when we were at the top floor we all stopped gasping for breath, with our hands on our knees. our hands went straight to our sides when we heard a voice. "please..."
the voice couldn't belonged to a mummy, pre-mummification. it was as raspy as sand paper, and 30 times as eerie. we all slowly turned around to see the oldest man any of us ever saw. he could have easily been 500 years old, at least. his clothes in tatters, he suddenly spoke, faster than his voice had suspected. "do not be alarmed!" it snapped. "I am a friend. you must hear me out!" we were all seriously freaked out at this point and Danielle was just about ready to bolt out the door. "please" it said "I am Heldån, one of the three remaining wizards on earth" I glanced around the room and all my friends had the same look I did. scared, but it still said "yeah right." "I am a friend" it repeated, and said "Let me start at the very beginning. since the beginning of time, wizards lived in harmony with all living things. we brought emotion to plants, brought life to rocks, and made ourselves immortal. for the most part. Wizards can not be killed by any conventional weapon. only one thing can take away our immortality. Helium. when exposed to helium, only the immortality is taken away. wizards will be able to use all powers they posses, only they can be killed in any way a human can." "so, wait" I said, interested "if I were to have a helium balloon here, I could kill you, but only if I could get a knife in your chest, while defending myself?"
"precisely!" Heldån answered. "another thing about wizardry, is that it does not pass from father to son. it is something that must be taught. so many wizards die without passing on their skills. there are only 3 left. me, J.K. Rowling, a famous author, and D.B. Cooper, a plane jacker that 'went missing' long ago. many people throughout history were wizards, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Lewis Carrol, Abraham Lincoln, Jefferson Davis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Adolph Hitler, Al Capone, john Lennon, Michael Jackson. all dead. Jefferson Davis, Al Capone, Hitler, and D.B. Cooper, were out to kill all the good wizards in the world. eventually a group of wizards, killed all of them. Except D.B. cooper. He came to me, (I was the one who killed Davis) and cursed me, dooming me to stay in this house for many years. to break a curse, you must have 2 wizards aside from the wizard that is cursed. you can see how this can be problematic." we all nodded starting to take it seriously.(except for Danielle who still hadn't caught on) "magic can be summoned from others against their will if they are out cold, or recently died within 2 days."
we all nodded to show we understood. "but er... Heldån, I don't think that my parents would let me go if I just said 'bye mom, I'm gonna go to england to find J.K. rowling so I can help the cursed wizard in the haunted house!' the best that could come from that is a trip to a mental hospital."
"school overnighter." I said. "then there could be a fire at fort vancouver"
"fort vancouver?" gabe asked.
I shrugged. “its the closest overnight-worthy spot I could think of. either that or the space needle."
“I do not force this upon you.” Heldån said “I will give you 1 day to think it over. this is a big decision”
“okay” I replied. there was an awkward silence that seemed to cut it for danielle.
“are you guys really taking this guy seriously?! he’s probably just a hobo hoping for a cheap laugh! I wouldn't be surprised at all if he picked our pockets on the way out! are you really gonna let this guy send you to Britain and back!?” there was a long silence in witch heldån was completely calm.
“to assure you I am no ‘hobo’ as you say, I give you these gifts.” he broke a chunk of wood from the wall, and Danielle started freaking out again “and now he’s giving us wood and claiming its a magical gift! this guy probably came out of a mental hospital! if not jail! He could have rabies, or e-coli! I’m not touching anything he has!” Danielle was panting at this point, and on a roll. “ Spiders are gonna start crawling out of his ears, next thing you know! either that or he’s gonna pull a knife on us! we’re all gonna die now, all because we just had to listen to his story!” suddenly the entire room started to become foggy, and (though it seemed impossible) grew darker. A booming voice came from Heldån “YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF HOMELESSNESS, YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF THIEVERY, AND YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF DISEASE, BUT ACCUSE ME OF MURDER, AND I GET TESTY!” the entire roof blew off with a mighty BOOM! and suddenly danielle was spinning in the air at mach 4. she suddenly stopped spinning and flew against the wall, then flopped onto the ground. heldån was starting to float now, spinning danielle again. she was seeming to be going up this time, above where the roof was. suddenly both Danielle and Heldån flopped to the ground, both gasping. we all flocked around Danielle, checking to see if she was okay. I glanced over at Heldån, and he was weeping, shaking his body with sobs. The only thing wrong with danielle, was a bruised knee, a wicked whiplash, and a belief in wizards. I ran over too Heldån after making sure (for the umpteenth time) that Danielle was okay. “Heldån, what was that? are you okay?”
“Alan yaeger, you are congratulated for your kindness” Heldån said his body shaking. “over the 30 years spent here in this accursed house I became vengeful, even demented at times. I surpress it as best I can, but it really turns into a nasty temper in the end...” “Come on...” I said “we can help” I called the others over, and he gave the speech again. we all agreed right away that we would help. Heldån surpressed his sobs, and began to pick up the wood he had broken from the wall. “Alan yaeger” he said “for you, who represented compassion and kindness to one who had even harmed his friend, I give you this bow, with an entire bundle of arrows. may you be blessed with accuracy” He handed me the wood, and somewhere between his hands and mine,(I couldn’t quite tell when) it became a bow and arrow. it was the most beautiful bow I had ever seen (from movies of course, I had never seen a real bow) It was perfectly curved with what looked like irredecant fish scales along the bow, with emeralds, and sapphires embroidered along it. The string was perfectly taut, and seemed to be from the hair of a zebra, with both white and black intertwined into one. “Danielle gardener. you have shown extreme perseverance in the face of danger, and I present you a dagger, and the elixir of the mind. it is what the wizards used before the humans came, to bring the plants to concienceness. but be warned, this will not bring the dead back to life, only to consciousness, and it will be a horrid state of life, forever paralyzed, unable to move. you would be better off dead! It has exceptional effect on plants and gives them the gift of speech, so it will come in handy for tracking D.B. Cooper.” he tore two more chunks of wood and gave the dagger and the bottle to Danielle. the dagger seemed to be pure gold, with rubies along the hilt. the elixir however, was not so pleasant. it had the appearance of curdled milk with pink dye inside it. It was also bubbling, and that didn’t help any either. “Gabriel falord” Heldån said “you have show extraordinary courage when others show less” “HEY!” Scarlett shouted, offended. Heldån continued without taking notice. “you are presented with a mace, one witch takes a very fit person to use” Heldån smiled and winked at him, and tore off a particularly large chunk of wood. he handed Gabe a mace with a stiff black handle, with amethyst engravings. the brilliant purple had great contrast with the obsidian spikes, and was a thing of beauty. “finally ...” Heldån said “Scarlett randax you have shown not only courage,” he said smiling “ but also eagerness. A very important trait, mind you!” Scarlett smiled “I give you” he said tearing off a chunk of wood “a sword, showing all of you beauty, inside, and out.” Scarltt blushed and took the two-handed sword. It was embroidered with diamonds all along the black blade. the hilt seemed to be pure gold, also embroidered with diamonds. definately the most beutieful of them all. “okay” Scarlett said. “we need someone to type up some (she put air quotes around this) ‘permission slips’”
"Wait up Scarlett!"
I ran down the ally, hoping one of us would chicken out. "c'mon Al!"
she replied oh-so-wittily. Danielle was lagging behind, anchoring Gabe, due to the hand holding. Gabe and Danielle had been going out recently, and they wanted everyone they saw to know. me and Scarlett would often joke when we were alone, "Aw man! Danielle is taken!"
then Scarlett would reply
"and Gabe was SO hot!" and we would burst into laughter. we made it out of the ally and came onto the street, and continued running. we finally got to the old decrepit house, with no windows. I could see the fear in Scarlett's hazel eyes, but also the determination. Gabe and Danielle finally caught up, and Gabe had sweat all over his extra large t-shirt, and Daniel's brunette hair was messed up from tossing it around. while Danielle was applying more mascara, I said "who wants to go in first?"
this was ridiculous. we were in 8th grade, and we were going into a "haunted" house on a dare. Eden had dared us, and then said "the darer can never do the dare!"
stupidest rule ever. Gabe hesitantly rose his hand and Danielle gasped. "sure" he said.
"I'll go next"scarlett said.
"me next"I said. Danielle whimpered. "do I have to go in?"
"yes" I replied. "you're going in with us."
Gabe walked in, and we all went in in a line, in the appointed order. It was so dark in there I couldn't see Scarlett in front of me. as my eyes got accustomed to the light, I saw a whole lot of furniture with white sheets over them, just like in the old cartoons. "if this wasn't real" Scarlett said "I would say it was cliché" we noticed a staircase an Scarlett said "c'mon let go!"
I was hesitant. Scarlett ran up before we could react, so we were forced up with her. not only did she not stop at the second floor, but she kept going until there were no more stairs. we saw each floor blur past us, as we ran up the stairs. when we were at the top floor we all stopped gasping for breath, with our hands on our knees. our hands went straight to our sides when we heard a voice. "please..."
the voice couldn't belonged to a mummy, pre-mummification. it was as raspy as sand paper, and 30 times as eerie. we all slowly turned around to see the oldest man any of us ever saw. he could have easily been 500 years old, at least. his clothes in tatters, he suddenly spoke, faster than his voice had suspected. "do not be alarmed!" it snapped. "I am a friend. you must hear me out!" we were all seriously freaked out at this point and Danielle was just about ready to bolt out the door. "please" it said "I am Heldån, one of the three remaining wizards on earth" I glanced around the room and all my friends had the same look I did. scared, but it still said "yeah right." "I am a friend" it repeated, and said "Let me start at the very beginning. since the beginning of time, wizards lived in harmony with all living things. we brought emotion to plants, brought life to rocks, and made ourselves immortal. for the most part. Wizards can not be killed by any conventional weapon. only one thing can take away our immortality. Helium. when exposed to helium, only the immortality is taken away. wizards will be able to use all powers they posses, only they can be killed in any way a human can." "so, wait" I said, interested "if I were to have a helium balloon here, I could kill you, but only if I could get a knife in your chest, while defending myself?"
"precisely!" Heldån answered. "another thing about wizardry, is that it does not pass from father to son. it is something that must be taught. so many wizards die without passing on their skills. there are only 3 left. me, J.K. Rowling, a famous author, and D.B. Cooper, a plane jacker that 'went missing' long ago. many people throughout history were wizards, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Lewis Carrol, Abraham Lincoln, Jefferson Davis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Adolph Hitler, Al Capone, john Lennon, Michael Jackson. all dead. Jefferson Davis, Al Capone, Hitler, and D.B. Cooper, were out to kill all the good wizards in the world. eventually a group of wizards, killed all of them. Except D.B. cooper. He came to me, (I was the one who killed Davis) and cursed me, dooming me to stay in this house for many years. to break a curse, you must have 2 wizards aside from the wizard that is cursed. you can see how this can be problematic." we all nodded starting to take it seriously.(except for Danielle who still hadn't caught on) "magic can be summoned from others against their will if they are out cold, or recently died within 2 days."
we all nodded to show we understood. "but er... Heldån, I don't think that my parents would let me go if I just said 'bye mom, I'm gonna go to england to find J.K. rowling so I can help the cursed wizard in the haunted house!' the best that could come from that is a trip to a mental hospital."
"school overnighter." I said. "then there could be a fire at fort vancouver"
"fort vancouver?" gabe asked.
I shrugged. “its the closest overnight-worthy spot I could think of. either that or the space needle."
“I do not force this upon you.” Heldån said “I will give you 1 day to think it over. this is a big decision”
“okay” I replied. there was an awkward silence that seemed to cut it for danielle.
“are you guys really taking this guy seriously?! he’s probably just a hobo hoping for a cheap laugh! I wouldn't be surprised at all if he picked our pockets on the way out! are you really gonna let this guy send you to Britain and back!?” there was a long silence in witch heldån was completely calm.
“to assure you I am no ‘hobo’ as you say, I give you these gifts.” he broke a chunk of wood from the wall, and Danielle started freaking out again “and now he’s giving us wood and claiming its a magical gift! this guy probably came out of a mental hospital! if not jail! He could have rabies, or e-coli! I’m not touching anything he has!” Danielle was panting at this point, and on a roll. “ Spiders are gonna start crawling out of his ears, next thing you know! either that or he’s gonna pull a knife on us! we’re all gonna die now, all because we just had to listen to his story!” suddenly the entire room started to become foggy, and (though it seemed impossible) grew darker. A booming voice came from Heldån “YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF HOMELESSNESS, YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF THIEVERY, AND YOU MAY ACCUSE ME OF DISEASE, BUT ACCUSE ME OF MURDER, AND I GET TESTY!” the entire roof blew off with a mighty BOOM! and suddenly danielle was spinning in the air at mach 4. she suddenly stopped spinning and flew against the wall, then flopped onto the ground. heldån was starting to float now, spinning danielle again. she was seeming to be going up this time, above where the roof was. suddenly both Danielle and Heldån flopped to the ground, both gasping. we all flocked around Danielle, checking to see if she was okay. I glanced over at Heldån, and he was weeping, shaking his body with sobs. The only thing wrong with danielle, was a bruised knee, a wicked whiplash, and a belief in wizards. I ran over too Heldån after making sure (for the umpteenth time) that Danielle was okay. “Heldån, what was that? are you okay?”
“Alan yaeger, you are congratulated for your kindness” Heldån said his body shaking. “over the 30 years spent here in this accursed house I became vengeful, even demented at times. I surpress it as best I can, but it really turns into a nasty temper in the end...” “Come on...” I said “we can help” I called the others over, and he gave the speech again. we all agreed right away that we would help. Heldån surpressed his sobs, and began to pick up the wood he had broken from the wall. “Alan yaeger” he said “for you, who represented compassion and kindness to one who had even harmed his friend, I give you this bow, with an entire bundle of arrows. may you be blessed with accuracy” He handed me the wood, and somewhere between his hands and mine,(I couldn’t quite tell when) it became a bow and arrow. it was the most beautiful bow I had ever seen (from movies of course, I had never seen a real bow) It was perfectly curved with what looked like irredecant fish scales along the bow, with emeralds, and sapphires embroidered along it. The string was perfectly taut, and seemed to be from the hair of a zebra, with both white and black intertwined into one. “Danielle gardener. you have shown extreme perseverance in the face of danger, and I present you a dagger, and the elixir of the mind. it is what the wizards used before the humans came, to bring the plants to concienceness. but be warned, this will not bring the dead back to life, only to consciousness, and it will be a horrid state of life, forever paralyzed, unable to move. you would be better off dead! It has exceptional effect on plants and gives them the gift of speech, so it will come in handy for tracking D.B. Cooper.” he tore two more chunks of wood and gave the dagger and the bottle to Danielle. the dagger seemed to be pure gold, with rubies along the hilt. the elixir however, was not so pleasant. it had the appearance of curdled milk with pink dye inside it. It was also bubbling, and that didn’t help any either. “Gabriel falord” Heldån said “you have show extraordinary courage when others show less” “HEY!” Scarlett shouted, offended. Heldån continued without taking notice. “you are presented with a mace, one witch takes a very fit person to use” Heldån smiled and winked at him, and tore off a particularly large chunk of wood. he handed Gabe a mace with a stiff black handle, with amethyst engravings. the brilliant purple had great contrast with the obsidian spikes, and was a thing of beauty. “finally ...” Heldån said “Scarlett randax you have shown not only courage,” he said smiling “ but also eagerness. A very important trait, mind you!” Scarlett smiled “I give you” he said tearing off a chunk of wood “a sword, showing all of you beauty, inside, and out.” Scarltt blushed and took the two-handed sword. It was embroidered with diamonds all along the black blade. the hilt seemed to be pure gold, also embroidered with diamonds. definately the most beutieful of them all. “okay” Scarlett said. “we need someone to type up some (she put air quotes around this) ‘permission slips’”