Writing The Fateful Story of a Ditto (Poem)

[dragonspit999]

This is my first written work outside school, so please go easy with the criticisms. Nevermind, just criticize good and hard. I need improving...most likely.

There was the Ditto
Alone again
Never having fun
Never again
Not after that
That accident
That fateful night
That gave resent
He tried to forget
Not to relive it
The painful moment
Was being bit
He was bit by a posioned
Pokemon experiment
Now he had one huge
enormous painful dent
It brought misery
It brought sorrow
It wasn't a reckless team
It was the fear of tommorow
Now the day has come
He is going to go somewhere
He tried to hide
Tried to care
But the horror beat him to it
It was the day of the event
Time to go
And fix the dent
He came real close to getting away
They had a numbing contraption
He came out of the office
He was dizzy, had no traction
He had been
To the vet
It was horror
Then he met
POPSICLE!
Everything was good
This story is over
Now you should
Go read something else
Or read it again

Good? I thought of it while writing. I need criticism though, peple.

 

[Inigo Montoya]

Meh, its decent. I've seen better, but for a first time, this is pretty good. The storyline sort of doesn't make sense, but I guess not many other poems do either. I am no expert on poetry, as I have never studied it or even touched upon it other than haikous, but the line sylables seem to be off. I'm not sure if this is supposed to happen, as I have never learned about poetry really.

And by the way, one of the things says:
Its time to go
Amd fix the dent.
Fix it nao >:O

 

[Unseen Psyco Poke-Fan]

I loved it man i'm gonna show it to my friend!

 

[dragonspit999]

Thanks for the criticism,guys. I hope to get better at this soon.
By the way, I fixed it.

 

[SinnohTrainer17]

Don't let the rhyme scheme hold you back or limit- I'm usually not a fan of rhyming poems because unless you're Dr. Seuss, they limit your options on the direction you can go in the poem, making it just sound plain silly.