Writing The Pokemon Project (Chapter 3 is up!)

Dialga

Aspiring Trainer
Member
Chapter 1: Waking Up

I woke, opening my eyes slowly, my vision blurred at first. I was staring through a see-through plexiglass wall and when a tried to move, I realized I was bound to some sort of chair by what appeared to be handcuffs attatched to the armrests of the chair, tubes and cords running from my arms and my forehead and my feet, through small holes in the plexiglass, to machinery outside of my ‘holding cell’.

Where am I? How did I get here?

The room I was in had machinery and cables and tables with stacks of paperwork all around it. A man in a labcoat stood by one of the tables, filling out something on a clipboard. I noticed him and shouted, “HEY! Where am I? Who are you?”

He looked up after a few seconds; first at a machine, then looking at me in excitement, his eyes going wide. I saw him hurry to an intercom on the wall outside my holding cell and say something excitedly into it. I’m not very good at reading lips, but I saw the words, “He’s awake!”

I tried to think as hard as I could how I got here, but I didn’t remember at all. I didn’t remember anything. I just remembered waking up.

The man at the intercom pressed a button on the machine neareast to him and spoke into the intercom again. This time, I heard his voice from a spreaker on the roof right above my holding cell.

“Kid, you’re okay. Breathe slowly…”

“Who are you?” I screamed, resisting again, but the handcuffs were too strong.

“Breathe slowly,” the man said. “How did the battle go?”

I shook my head fiercly, trying to remember. “What battle…?”

Again, he didn’t seem to hear me, ignoring my question. “How was the first test?”

I started looking around for a means of escape. My legs were cuffed too.

The man was, thankfully, patient. “Tell me how you and your Pokemon fared.”

“Me and my what…?”

I heard footsteps outside of the room coming closer and noticed my own ragged, unsteady breath as I prepared for what would happen next.

Suddenly, a bunch of other people burst in, looking from different machines to me and then back again.

I heard the man’s voice again on the speaker, “Okay. You've pretty much emerged unharmed. That’s good news. That means your Pokemon didn’t turn on you and try to kill you or something. That’s a good sign. Testing’s going beautifully thus far.”

He obviously didn’t realize that I had no idea where I was or what Pokemon were. He talked as if I knew what was going on.

Suddenly, I saw one guy pointing at a screen on one of the machines and motioning for everyone to come over and see. The man at the intercom left to see what the other guy was looking at and they all stood watching.

The machine was facing opposite me so I couldn’t see what it was that was being shown on the screen. I had to wait there for a short while until the same guy came back and talked into the intercom.

“Okay, I’m going to turn you on now. How much do you remember?”

“Where am I?” I screamed.

“You’re in the Team Rocket Scientific Research Facility,” the man told me calmly.
“Please refrain from shouting.”

He paused a moment and then said, “I’m guessing you have no idea what’s going on?” he said.

Thank God! I thought.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, annoyed. “I have no idea where I am, who I am, who you are, or why I’m here.”

The man seemed to be thinking, stepping away from the intercom and whispering something to another scientist guy. He came back and let out a sigh. “First and foremost, my name is Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket. You are here because you were chosen to help us with our research of the strange creatures we recently discovered known as Pokemon.”

“So, what, you knocked me out and brought me here?!” I exclaimed. “Because I didn’t agree to any of this…”

“If you’ll allow me to explain more without interrupting,” Giovanni said, sounding a little annoyed, “then I might be able to clear things up for you.”

He was about to continue, when someone walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. He covered the intercom with his hand and listened to what the guy had to say. Giovanni nodded as the guy left and uncovered the intercom, saying, “We need to send you in again.”

“Send me where!?” I demanded. Why won’t he listen?!

“During the last test you were hit with a move called Confuse Ray that the Pokemon known as Zubat tried to use on your Pikachu. Your Pikachu dodged it and it hit you instead. That’s why you’ve lost your memory. That move’s a new one. We haven’t seen it before during our research. It had fascinating effects. To think that move can erase a human’s memory…”

“You're crazy!” I screamed.

“During the next simulation, you will be battling another test subject with a different Pokemon this time. We’re giving you a Psychic-type Pokemon this time because we think it’ll shed some light on just how powerful their abilities can be. Remember, this is just a simulation; an image we’re going to put in your mind. You’ll still be here physically, so you can ask me anything. But, mentally, you’ll be in a colosseum setting, battling another test subject. See those cords and tubes attatched to your body?”

“Duh.”

“Those are so that your nerves can feel whatever your Pokemon feels. That’ll give us a better perspective of how the Pokemons’ abilities work and how humans and Pokemon might be able to bond in the future.”

He turned to someone else in the room and said into the intercom, “Send him in in five, four, three…”

“Wait!” I pleaded.

“Two, one…”

I lurched back in my chair and blackness shrouded my mind.
 
RE: The Pokemon Project

Nice introduction to your story. Dialogue and description is moderately good so I'm looking forward to where you're going with this. :)
 
RE: The Pokemon Project

To me, it seems like you should have continued beyond where you ended this in order for it to count as a full chapter. As it sits, this more like a prologue, since you're setting the mood for a dark fic rather than starting the actual story. It isn't a huge issue, but that should be something to keep in mind as you write this.
 
RE: The Pokemon Project

Thanks for the feedback guys. Here's Chapter 2 :)

Chapter 2: The Battle

“Am I still alive?” I asked, shocked by the sudden jolt and the darkness that clouded my vision.

A chuckle came from above me. “Yes, you’re still alive. Can you hear me, Daniel?” Giovanni asked.

“Is that my name; Daniel?” I asked, confused.

“Yes, that’s your name,” Giovanni replied. “I don’t know how long Confuse Ray’s effects will last on you, but nevermind that for now. We’re transmitting the colosseum setting to your brain. Remember, anything your Pokemon feels, you’ll feel. You and your opponent will both have one Pokemon each. We’re not going to let you back here until the battle is over, no matter what pain you and your Pokemon endure. We need you to connect physically and emotionally with your Pokemon. I’ll tell you what moves the Pokemon knows and you call them out.”

“Wait, what?”

A flash of light illuminated my mind and I felt sand beneath my feet. I could hear people cheering from the stands and I shielded my eyes from the sun to see my rival on the opposite side of the field.

“Giovanni, can you hear me?” I asked.

Giovanni responded, “Are you in the colosseum?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but where’s my Pokemon?”

“Loading…”

I stared in shock as a creature appeared right in front of me on the sandy floor of the arena. It loosely resembled a fox with pointy triangular ears, a long tail, and armor on.

“This mysterious Pokemon is called Abra,” Giovanni said. “It’s a Psychic-type Pokemon. Cute, isn’t it?”

“Very,” I muttered.

“Here’s the deal. Abra possesses the ability to read minds and can sense danger. When it does, it usually teleports in order to escape danger. By hypnotizing itself, it can send itself into sleep and be able to teleport while doing so. If it decides to teleport randomly, it creates the illusion of multiple copies. Your Abra knows the moves Teleport, Hypnosis, and Tackle.”

“Got it,” I said.

My opponent on the other side of the arena grinned smugly as another Pokemon appeared in front of him.

“Giovanni,” I said uncertainly. “What the heck is that thing?”

“It’s called an Ivysaur,” Giovanni replied. “It’s a Grass-type. The way nature and Pokemon connect is still a mystery.”

Ivysaur looked like a small dinosaur with a giant plant bud on its back. I stared at it.
“How come I’ve never seen creatures like this before?”

Giovanni ignored my question. “Battle commencing in five, four, three, two…”

“Wait!” I said.

“You’re on your own until the battle is over,” Giovanni told me. “Trust in your Pokemon. Let it know that you know what you’re doing.”

“I don’t!” I called for him again, but he didn’t answer.

My opponent, with spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and that smug grin on his face yelled to me, “I’m taking you down!”

He obviously wasn’t hit with Confuse Ray. Seems to know just what he’s doing.

On a platform above the arena, a referee stood, blowing a whistle. “Go!”

My opponent yelled, “Ivysaur, use Vine Whip.”

Ivysaur rushed forward, two vines emerging from its bulb, ready to lash out at Abra.
My first thought was, “Oh crap. This is going to hurt.”

Ivysaur rushed towards Abra and my mind screamed, “You idiot! Tell it to do something!”

Panicked and disoriented, I yelled, “Abra, use Teleport now!”

Abra vanished into thin air just as Ivysaur launched the vines forward.

My opponent growled angrily. “Get ready, Ivysaur. It’s gotta come back sometime!”

Suddenly I realized that I didn’t know where it was going to reappear either.

“Hey!” I shouted to my opponent. “Why are you doing this? What’s the point of this whole project Giovanni’s got set up? Why are we here?”

My opponent just glared at me. “Giovanni says that if we can tame these Pokemon and understand their abilities, we’ll be able to win the war! If anybody’s going to be the one that makes The Pokemon Project a success, it’s going to be me!”

Just then, Abra reappeared in the center of the field. “What war?” I asked him.

“What do you mean ‘what war’?” my opponent asked. “Where have you been all this time?”

“I don’t know,” I told him. “Just get me out of here.”

He laughed. “Easy. Just let me defeat your Abra. Ivysaur, use Razor Leaf!”

I tried to tell Abra to Teleport again, but I was too late. Ivysaur shot razor-sharp looking leaves at Abra and hit its target dead center. Abra tumbled head over heels across the sand floor.

The instant Razor Leaf hit Abra, I felt like a million small knives had been jammed into my stomach.

I drew in a sharp painful breath as the attack hit and fell to my knees, clutching my stomach. “Ahhhhhhgh!”

My opponent laughed bitterly. “You get used to it. Ivysaur, use Vine Whip.”

I could barely get a command out to Abra because I was so dazed with pain. Then Vine Whip struck. I felt like I’d really been whipped on the back hard because I fell forward onto my hands and kness, barely keeping myself from collapsing. My vision blurred.

“Abra…” I muttered weakly. “Tele-“

“Tackle, Ivysaur!” my opponent comanded.

Abra was on its back from the Vine Whip and Ivysaur was rushing at it at full speed.

“Dodge…” I began to say.

But Ivysaur slammed into Abra full force, making it fly backwards into the stone wall surrounding the arena.

I felt like I’d been sucker punched. I wanted to throw up. I let myself drop to the ground.

I could barely hear the referee saying, “Abra has fainted. This match goes to Ivysaur and Nolan,” and then Nolan call, “That was too easy! Just you wait. I’m going to be the proof that humans and Pokemon can bond and help Team Rocket put an end to the war!”

I saw black once again.
 
RE: The Pokemon Project (Chapter 2 is up!)

Your description in this chapter could probably have been a lot stronger. While you did take the time out to mention what things looked like and tell what was going on so far, it seemed really cut-and-dry, especially for a fight scene. I try to build up the mood a little before actually starting the battle by letting my characters take in the scenery and describing their attitudes toward it. In this case, Daniel's overall confusion could be a huge focus point. Otherwise, this wasn't too bad.
 
RE: The Pokemon Project (Chapter 2 is up!)

Incinermyn said:
Your description in this chapter could probably have been a lot stronger. While you did take the time out to mention what things looked like and tell what was going on so far, it seemed really cut-and-dry, especially for a fight scene. I try to build up the mood a little before actually starting the battle by letting my characters take in the scenery and describing their attitudes toward it. In this case, Daniel's overall confusion could be a huge focus point. Otherwise, this wasn't too bad.

Got it. I'll definitely try to put more description in the future. Thanks for the feedback.
 
RE: The Pokemon Project (Chapter 2 is up!)

Chapter 3: Wanting Answers

I woke sweating, still in pain, my vision blurry and unreliable. I felt so weak, just breathing hard, ragged breaths escaping my lungs in quick inhale-exhale motions. I was back in the lab room, still in the chair, at least alive. Blood dripped down my back from the Vine Whip and a long gash was left when the Razor Leaf had cut my stomach.

I had very little strength, but with the few ounces I had left I strained against my bonds. No use. Every time I tensed up to pull against them, the gash in my stomach hurt even more.

Who am I? Why am I here? I thought. I want to run, but to where? Where can you run when you don’t know whow you are?

I tried hard to remember. Daniel…

The name meant nothing to me. It bounced off my mind meaninglessly. I had to
remember something! When would I snap out of this confusion?

I strained my mind again. How did I get here? Tell me, Daniel! Tell me!

I felt weak just thinking and a tortured cry erupted from somewhere deep inside of me.

All of the people watching the monitor rushed over to me.

Like tourists gawking at some meuseum exhibit, I thought. I’m not going back into The Pokemon Project again…

Giovanni walked over to the intercom. I knew what was going to say. He was going to say exactly what he said when I first woke up: Kid, you’re okay. Breathe slowly…

I’ll breathe slowly when he lets me out of this thing. Fueled by my determination, I struggled again. It just caused more pain.

Why did I ever agree to come here in the first place? Or did I? Was that just a lie?

Giovanni opened his mouth to speak. “Breathe-“

I interrupted, “I’ll breathe slowly when you tell me who I am and why I came here!"

“I saw the battle. It didn’t go well for you and Abra, did it?”

“I swear to God it won’t go well for you if you don’t give me some answers NOW!!!”

Giovanni twitched slightly. His face crinckled a bit and his lower lip tightened. “What…do you want to know?”

I laughed mockingly. “There we go. Aren’t you so cooperative. Here’s my first question. Million dollar prize for this one. Why am I here?”

Giovanni sighed. “I thought we discussed why you’re here. You agreed to do the project. You just don’t think so because you were hit with Confuse Ray.”

I glared at him. “So your theory is that one stupid Pokemon made me forget my entire life? Is that it, Mr. Scientist?” The mocking laughter came back. “Oh, wait. Sorry, I totally forgot. This isn’t science, this is torture!” I put as much dark acidity in my voice as possible. “Then again, my memory doesn’t serve me very well. I’m gonna say you got that question wrong. The answer is, you’re a psycho who loves to torture people with fun-looking simulators. You know, the ones where you make people go through the worst pain they’ve felt in their life for science…?”

“Daniel, if you don’t feel what your Pokemon feels, you’ll never bond,” Giovanni said after a short time of being taken aback by my long rant.

“So, what, we’re going to make the Pokemon suffer for some war that I’m not even sure exists?”

Giovanni was about to say something, but stopped short. “What did you say?”

“My opponent said something about this whole science project being about war. Care to explain?”

Giovanni nodded slowly. “Certainly.”

There was a moment of silence, and then he said, “Years ago, it was rumored that a meteorite crashed into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Many people thought it was a hoax, something the tabloids made up trying to get us to believe that aliens had invaded. Team Rocket decided to take the bait and take a chance. We decided to investigate the meteorite. We created a Magikarp submarine and traveled to where it had supposedly crashed. It turned out to be beyond our wildest dreams, because it was no meteorite. It was, in fact, a giant egg.”

I rolled my eyes. “You really expect me to believe that an egg from space crashed into the middle of the Atlantic?”

Giovanni shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. You agreed to help finish The Pokemon Project when you signed up, so regardless of what you believe, you’re going to keep testing until our research is complete.”

I glared at him, my eyes smoldering into his. “I promise you that I’m not doing anything else until you answer my questions.”

Giovanni glared back. “Then shut up and let me finish!” he growled. He seemed to collect himself and let out a long sigh. “Anyway, when we found the egg we couldn’t believe our eyes. This could be proof of life on other planets. The best part was, while we were investigating the egg, it hatched! Right before our eyes. As the two halves of the egg split, a yellow glow burst from it. The creature that emerged was breath-taking.” Giovanni seemed to have a faraway look in his eyes, reliving the whole experience. “It looked so strange. Its body color was white with a gray, vertically-striated underside, the pattern of which had similar recurrences on the underside of its mane, tail, and face, and its four pointed feet were tipped with gold hooves. Its mane was quite long, jutting away from its head, and its face was gray, with green eyes and red pupils, and a green circular pattern below its eyes. It had a streak of gold coloration on its head, and ears that point upward. Its neck was fairly long, with two pairs of extrusions to the sides, and a flap-like feature on the neck's underside that was colored white like much of the body.”

I looked at him suspiciously. “Long description. And you remember all that?”

Giovanni sighed happily. “It was the greatest discovery I’d ever made. This was the foothold Team Rocket needed to make itself known to the world. But, as soon as the foothold was there, it was gone. The creature unleashed a great attack that devastated us all and headed for the surface. We swam after it but when we broke the surface it’d flown away.”

He was still reliving it because a sad look clouded his face. “We thought we’d had a big break, but it disappeared. We were all depressed at that point. We’d lost our greatest discovery. But, then, months later, something amazing happened. Reports and sightings of strange, mutant creatures started going up all over the news, the internet, TV. Stories like Big Foot, The Abomidable Snowman, and The Loche Ness Monster were more popular than ever. We knew this had to do with the creature, so we followed the trail and discovered that these creatures weren’t something just made up by tabloids or random people. These creatures had…extraordinary powers. We knew we had to catch them all, but we didn’t know how. That’s when one of our own, Professor
Oak, created the PokeBall.”

“What’s a PokeBall?” I asked.

“Well,” Giovanni said. “Professor Oak told us that these small capsules would be able to break down the creatures’ molecular structure so they could fit in the PokeBall if we threw it at them, and then reassemble their molecular structure when thrown again. That had to go through a, uh, couple of tests before it actually worked, but with the PokeBalls we were able to capture the Pokemon and take them to our facility."

“Why the name Pokemon?” I asked.

Giovanni scratched his head. “It’s short for Pocket Monsters since the PokeBalls can fit in your pocket and the, um, creatures are…inside them.”

I nodded slowly. “So when the war started, you figured we could use the Pokemons’ powers to win it.”

Giovanni shook his head. “Not win it, end it.”

I nodded again. “Your story sounds pretty far-fetched.”

“It didn’t when you signed up a week ago,” Giovanni shot back.

“So what happened to the first creature then?” I asked him.

Giovani sighed. “Unfortunately, none of us will ever know, but we call him Arceus.”

“What does that mean?”

“We call him Arceus because the name means ‘The Original One’. It was the very first…Pokemon.”

I let myself collapse in my seat. The pain was not going to wear off any time soon. “Do you have any pain meds?”

Giovanni sighed apologetically. “In order to know what your Pokemon truly feel, I’m afraid we can’t give them to you until after the test.”

I suddenly felt extremely tired. “Is there any chance that I might die during the tests?”

Giovanni chuckled slightly. “No, but there will be pain. You’re doing well and it’s for a good cause. Any more questions before the third test?”

“What’s my name? Full name.”

Giovanni looked me right in the eyes and spoke into the intercom, “Daniel Ray Ketchum.”
 
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