Writing The Pokemon World Poem

Pikapip

Pikapip

Pika+Pip= Pikapip
Member
Hello I have decided to share a poem I have wrote. I hope you all enjoy, so here it goes:

The Pokemon world is filled with lots of creatures and lots of locations,
There are forests, citys, plains, oceans, lakes, and most of all Pokemon,
Trainers, breeders, professors, researchers, or people just on vacation,
The Pokemon world is great,
and you never know what you'll do with you and your mate,
but everyone knows that the Pokemon world is filled with lots of creatures and lots of locations!

Please leave feedback!
 
Just a personal note: if you do more poems in the future, please keep them to this thread. Otherwise it creates a lot of clutter in the forum just posting one poem per thread.

Overall it's not bad, but it seems just a little bluntly stated to me. I'm not poetry expert, though... Is this your first? Just wondering, because I find it more effective to read a couple poems someone writes before really doling out some sort of criticism about their style. The only thing I can really say right now is maybe try and avoid generic rhythming schemes, as it kind of seemed you did here. Also, you might want to work on vocabulary usage since I've found that repeating terms usually kills the impact of one's writings in general (and poetry isn't an exception to that fact either, what little I actually write myself).
 
^ Yeah Its my 1st poem, I was trying it out to see if I should keep trying.
But thanks for the feedback! Also if I create another poem I will post it here.
 
Thanks. It helps keep things somewhat organized that way (and, besides, it's part of the writing forum rules now anyways).

And yes, do keep trying. I hope you do post more; new writers are always welcome.
 
You see, this is a simple poem. Simple and plain to the point - using short and brief explanations for each line. Admittedly I do not like poetry like this, but I'm sire if you preserver you may get better.

I notice alliteration. Overall, good job.
 
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