Writing The Roads of Pokemon...

BeachBoy

We're the frontlines!
Member
It was a calm breezy night , the grass whistles blew from leader politoads and sceptiles...
Soft belly drumming made the hearing of a grand meadow band...in harmony with life..
And there a boy laid with his cuttle cute pichu in the meadow pleading to the stars.

"Being a Pokemon Trainer completes me...."

but elsewhere....
A unknown siluate was flashing through the freezing desert ....making his deadline to his secret base....he ran and ran , racing the sunrise...dodging caturne and sleepy hippowdon

The wind wipping across sam's face , angry at himself for being so stupid to leave his base in hopes of finding his way out of the Endless desert.

The sun spiked up , with a suny kiss to greet the mourn... Sam races and races , his heart beating as fast as ever , as the heat started to slice the open skin on his face

Sam slid into his underground base , feeling like he was engolfed in flame. He rid his clothes and laid on the new furniture...

"Dear Arceus , will I ever make it out of here , I'm stuck with sand in all directions , no life , with my competitive fire falling , what will become of me arceus , does life matter anymore "

as Sam lay crying in his den hugging his oddly colored trapinch...Ryan was going to the Pokemon worlds on the commercial pelipper airline...

A grand tournament of battle legends , Ryan the infamous water trainer that previously fell short to a new trainer and was refueled to get his title back. He relaxed comfortably in his first class cacune , drinking koolaid with no worries in his deep sky.

As Ryan looked at his pokeball belt he felt something very wrong....

"wow , what in the heck was that???"

little did he know something was about to happen that would alter him forever....

As Sam crippled with pain , Ryan in a confusion ....there was a boy....

He just laid there , in the breeze filled meadows , He woke up , looked around smiling at all the wonderus Pokemon...

"Arcanine , come on out...time for a race"

The young boys name was Key.

He just recently became a trainer , no badges , no formal training...key just played around with enjoyment , non other could feel.

Key raced through the weeds , little drops of dew dripping as Arcanine and Key raced running all their high energy to a low....

As alll these events happened a Skilled trainer was training in stark mountain , recently drill pecked by numerous skarmory he had a giant slash crossed through his eye his mouth ending along his bare cheek

Anthony was a somewhat new trainer though he has trained very hard and had a stern point if view in Pokemon , which others question regularly....

all 4 boys were living their lives , some different then others , but all linked in a strange way
=========
Chapter 2 coming soon I'm too tired to go on thanks for reading, please do comment what you think

and yes I'm not the best when it comes to grammar , sorry but please bare with me on that....
 
It should be good, but it's slightly hard to read... I know you say you're not the best with grammer but I can't understand what some of this is trying to say. I'll give a brief couple of examples:


"As Sam crippled with pain , Ryan in a confusion ....there was a boy...."

I'm not even sure what this was relating to - was it part of a dream, or a flashback? But... whatever it was SUPPOSED to be, it was completely illegible.


"A unknown siluate was flashing through the freezing desert"

This isn't so much a grammer issue as a WTH is a siluate? I know it's a misspelling of SOMETHING, but I can't pin what.


There's a fair few little spelling errors (mostly based on the spelling vs. pronounciation war - like refuelling) however - did you type this up on Word or something first? I reckon that would eliminate a lot of the small errors that cropped up here.

Other than that, it doesn't seem too bad - from what I can gather it appears that these peoples are destined to come together in a climatic battle sooner or later. Good luck with this story :)
 
Ya there were some mispelling and BTW its Silhouette not siluate no big deal! Ya just type it in word and run spellcheck and you will be fine!
 
well sorry guys but I'm unable to leave pokebeach on my pda , some lame malfunctions

and so I'm unable to use word X_X

@ gamercal , when your reading the crippled with pain and ryan and there was aboy

it ment during all there events there was just a boy

like meaning with all there worries he was just there happy and livng life as the others struggled


sorry if it was that bad =S

ill have chapter two up in a bit . I'm CURRENTLY RAGING OVER EBAY AND FIGHTING WALMART STUFF , for that dang wii

sorry I'm just really tired , I waited for 11 hourd to be soooo close yet not get one!
 
It's OK, I've seen a lot worse :p. I wasn't meaning to put you down at all, I just had a couple of problems identifying what certain parts were meaning due to structural issues... but you clarified the one I was most confused at, so it's all good. Monekeyking took care of the other one - I KNEW it was meant to be something, I just couldn't think of what :p

I'm still up for you doing this btw - I reckon you could do well with this. It's too bad you can't use Word to spellcheck it first, but it is largely understandable (like engulfed and not engolfed) so I'm just being picky :p
 
well i get my brand spanking new laptop , and hopefully *off topic* a WII!

so then ill be able to use word

maybe i do need that word coach for the DS

*rushing to mom*

well ive stood in line for 10+ hours , 3 days straight


X_X hopefully i can get to work on CH.2
 
Chapter 2 : Disaster is ALL forms

Ryan rushed to open his Jet's window , it slipped up and Ryan turned a cold white , He was viewing the plane wing in smoke , with sparks fluttering around

"Everyone HOLD ON!!!!!"

Ryan reached for his sash to grab dragonite

"Oh NO!"

all of a sudden the engine was screaming at very high pitch and the plane was in pure panic , Ryan , being experienced in flight dropped to the groupnd and prayed

"please let us live"

The plane's engine wing exploded...Ryan screamed as the wing and plane began to shatter into a million peices! the lane began to fall out of the air like a Draco meteor for a Salamence , Ryan was motionless , He had decided his fate , He knew he and his fellow passenger's would perish. The plane continued to scream with shockwave's of explosion.

"wait , i can't just die! THIS IS MY liFE!"

Ryan reached for his pokeball .... Ryan screamed as he soon exammined himself with severe injuries all over his body

scared he could do nothing , It all seemd to be happening with seconds being hours , Ryan just let go , He could do nothing and flew through the blood rained sky...

"Good bye everyone"as he let go , heading straight for the open ocean.

Other assengers screamed , but something was different , nothing was wroking , The Pokeballs wouldnt Open , no items or pokemon would come out , it was a wide spread malfunction.

During the trajedy , Key , the young boy , was in the meadows in pure delight , flew into in the meadows , withdrew arcanine and let the winds carry him away , the wind picked up , and some papers started flying around , Key jumped up , a paper flew on hi face. Key pulled it off his face.

" You a Trainer looking for the new experience , then grab your bag and take this ticket to the ancient region rebuilt , "

Key then read the rest , and was interested , though he had barely even begun his journey , as such a kid , he liked catchy persuasive words , Key opened the envulope , and it was a ticket addressed to " Mr. Sash Cecil " Key looked around , with a misceveous smile he put the ticket in his bag and head for the pelipper airline center. Being a young trainer he used his plane , and his Pichu pointed all over the place , with another grin they headed for another new journey .



Sam woke up , after little sleep from his injuries , He felt a little better , with his sleep healing him along with his trapinch , He felt today was the day he would escape this endless Oasis.

"*yawn* ok , Hugo you ready to go?" His Trapinch smiled as it always had for 5 years .

Sam got up , the sun was beating down , He looked around , thinking how to escape the heat , and he as in shock!

" is that another trainer! im not alone! " He ran out on the burning sand , and squinted his eyes and

"IT IS A TRAINER" He grew with excitment , He was looking at a female trainer , She was riding a flygon with giant google head wear...

Sam began to jump up and down , Screaming through the dust

"HEY OVER HERE! OVER HERE ! OVER HERE ! Sam's trapinch jumping up and down with him

out of the corner of her eye , she turned around heading towards him

"yes , she's heading this way!" Sam smiled with a great smile

"Hi there , oh my gosh you need help" as the young blonde girl exclaimed.

" Yes , i do need help , could you fly me outta this desert , please "
She smiled "sure i'd gladly help" Sam ran into his duggout and grabbed his things.

"Oh thank yu , sooo much!" sam said. "anytime" the girl said.

"Im going to the Midamis Region , your ok with that right?" she asked.

"midamis region? never heard of it" as he said flying through the sandy wind on her sparkly green Flygon

"There has been a mass advertising camplain about some ectutives reviving a old infamous Pokemon region , like reviving a old Kanto , but with newly spread Pokemon"

"oh cool , i'll come" Sam felt really exicted!

During all these events , anthony waited at a small house on stark mountain for a expected letter....

"PDC is soo slow shiping , gosh its been days. I wanna go to Midamis , when is that letter getting here! Im getting a ticket for a first class flight" as he explained

"Well , where did you buy it" the old owner of the house said....

"Pok-E-bay, a new website to auction and bid for amazing prizes, yea I won it from guy on it called Sash , he didnt want it because of his age so I bought it then."

"oh that sounds nice" the elder lady said... I know Midamis , my family has carried stories down about that amazing region"

"really , could you tell me them , i have all the time it seems" Anthony said.

_____________________________________

Chapter 3 coming soon , PLEASE comment how everything is

and yes i know stuff is not readable , sorry , i have no laptop , so no word.

until then please bare with....

Thanks!
 
Not nearly as error-laiden as the initial chapter. Good work! I can't say I could tell you EVERYTHING that's going on in the story, but it's much better than it was.

Good luck with writing this :D
 
really the first couple of chapters are setting up , like these first 2 are just trying to get the readers mind flowing , to start laying the puzzles together later
 
pretty good! Alot better grammitacly as oppesed to the last chapter! A little bit of jumping around but thats ok! Keep it up!
 
Back
Top