Writing Legend of the Magma King

~Magma King~

Nettle Carrier
Member
Good evening, citizens of Pokebeach! It's been a while since I posted a fic here and I thought it time I had a go posting this one. Plot's big and crazy- I won't go into detail explaining it. A few characters are based off personas on other forums but this shouldn't stop you enjoying it too much(so long as you don't find it awful anyway =P).

Please note a lot of this was written a long time ago so the style of the first few chapters might be very different to that of the newer ones. So yeah, tell me of any mistakes/critique on stuff but please keep that in mind.

Last note; I didn't add a PG or anything because that seems to give the impression this is a more serious fic, which it isn't. So yeah, read at your own risk, and enjoy the prologue!


“And a shadow will fall across the lands,
As it wakes from it’s tortured slumber.
Each day it will sleep, and fashion it’s teeth,
And endure the flames of hell.
And each night it will return, to prey on the souls of men.
And then return to torture.”


Prologue

“Hello? Is there anybody present?” A massive jet of fire burst from the bubbling magma, with a vicious roar that echoed throughout the cavern. The pits roared and spat, angry, imbued with the souls of dead men, grabbing at the man who stood on the bridge above him. But he was unaffected, merely gazing at the pools of magma beneath him. He stood at an average height, wearing grand, royal robes over a flame patterned suit. A crown sat atop his long, blonde hair, and his piercing blue eyes often flashed red as he gazed marvelled at the pools. This man was the Magma King. And he was in hell.
“There must be somebody here”, he shouted, progressing through the hallways, draping his long robes behind him. He sighted a desk, with “Reception” engraved onto it. Relieved, he progressed to the desk, and pushed down onto the circular buzzer. There was no response. “Hmph”, he muttered, climbing onto the desk. He stroked his chin, awaiting a response.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what could have happened, the doors were locked-
“But you were on duty, mistress fang! Where were you when this incident occurred, answer me damn you!” The voices were coming from behind the desk. Curious, the Magma King slid off the desk, and slowly walked towards the source of the noise, a group of three people. Or nearly people.

The room was small, with three walls and a large gap, blocked by iron bars. This gap contained a mess of shattered chains, needles and dangerous looking equipment, suspended over a pit of acid. A hideous woman stood before this gap, at least twelve feat tall, with reptilian green skin, her legs replaced with a long, green tail. She had sharp, blood covered teeth, with maggots crawling between her eyes. The second figure stood towering over her, even higher, but this time humanoid. He was a brutish and muscular, clad in skeletal armour, with spikes adorning his back, and shimmering yellow eyes. He was known as the torturer. The third simply stood in the background, observing the scene.
“You were on duty. How could it have escaped?! You would have heard the noise from the surface world, let alone a few metres away from the door! I should have you killed-
“Enough.” The figure who stood in the background walked slowly into the light, his hands behind his back. He was only slightly taller than the average human, though his skin was a deep red, with petrifying black eyes, and 2 twisting horns. He had many names, and many forms. In hell, he was known as their leader. “This is not going anywhere. We will deal with this problem later. For it has come to my attention we are not alone…”
The Magma King took a deep breath.

“Human!” Roared the mysterious red man, glaring at the Magma King.
“Hello”, he said, “I’m looking for a guy, not very old, brown hair-
“We do not deal with requests, human. Now I shall kill you.” He scorched the room with his fiery breath. The Magma King laughed, and brandished his sceptre.
“I’m afraid not. However-
“You…” The mysterious figure recoiled, “You are still alive!” He stroked his brown goatee, and then grinned. “I think we can make a deal”
“A deal? What kind of deal?”
“A few hours ago, my friend, one of our less… Civilised residents, escaped to the surface world. It is known as Dragnok-Jat, the harvester, the taker of souls. Although once it’s powers were almost that of a god’s, after the years of imprisonment and torture, it should not prove to be quite so challenging.”
“I’ll think about it” Replied the Magma King. He scratched his chin.
“Well?..”
“I’ve thought about it. I’m on a bit of a tight schedule at the moment…”
“No, you don’t understand” The mysterious figure began to blur, engulfed in a red gas. He seemed to swell to an enormous size, his fangs now bearing over the Magma King’s head, cackling like a madman. He stretched a claw out to his face. “If you are lax in your duties to pursue this creature…” He scratched a cryptic symbol onto the Magma King’s forehead, “Then first, bad fortunes will arise, luck withering away at a rapid rate. Then, you shall disfigure, physically and socially, be expelled from civilisation by your very family. If you continue… Death” He finished the final scratching, returning to his normal form. “Now, are we clear?”
“Of course, sir” The Magma King gulped.
“Excellent. Now go. And remember: Do not return until Dragnok is back in his rightful place!”
 
Uh, it should, yeah. xD I'd be thankful for a mod to move this.

Chapter 1- Chase the Devil

“Urgh” The Magma King muttered, climbing up the stairs from his basement into the cellar. It had been a long day. He wiped the lava from his forehead onto the floor, which set fire to a small section of his house. “Maybe…” He grabbed three bottles of wine from a wooden rack, hugging them with his arms and stumbling up the second set of stairs to his living room, “maybe someday I will be rich”. As he reached the living room, he collapsed onto his sofa, pulling the cork from one of the bottles and swilling it at an incredible rate. It took all but five seconds before the bottle was sucked dry of it’s content, and then thrown onto the floor, shattering everywhere. “Catching Dragnok-Jat”, He thought to himself, “how am I supposed to do that?…”
“URGENT NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT!” The TV blurted out.
“That’s odd”, he thought, “I didn’t even have the TV on”. He turned up the volume.
“A DEMONIC BEAST HAS BEEN SIGHTED HOLDING UP CARS ON A ROAD EAST-
“Brilliant! That’s only about a mile from here. I’ll be sure to get there in time!”

[16:00]
“BEAST IS HOLDING UP TRAFFIC FOR MILES-
“Come on…” The Magma King slurred, wine bottle in hand.
“Man, I keep telling you, just walk over there!” Jimmy said, sitting bored on the passenger’s seat. Jimmy was a slightly short man, with slightly tanned skin and deep black hair with a quiff. His general attire was scruffy: A leather jacket, torn jeans, fingerless gloves, and a white vest, all of which he had been wearing for a few weeks now. He carried an odour of garbage and burgers.
“Learn to relax, Jimmy. We’re almost there”
“We haven’t left my drive yet, man. Walk’ll do us good”
“Patience… Want some wine?” The Magma King leant over slightly, stretching his hand out to Jimmy, who scratched his head for a bit.
“Yeah what the heck”, he replied hastily, snatching the bottle and taking a few gulps. His muscles eased and he began to grin. “Old joke man. What kinda stuff did you put in the wine this time?”
“Trust me”, the Magma King laughed, “It doesn’t matter. Want some-
“SIXTEEN INJURED AND FIVE DEAD IN DEMON ATTACK. PANIC HAS STRUCK-
“Man, I’m, telling you, get out the damn car an’ walk!”
“Jimmy, please. We have time on our side…”

[17:00]
“Listen to me man! Listen to me an’” He quickly swallowed another half a litre of wine, and was silenced.
“Now, let’s just-
“LATEST IN. EXPLOSION CAUSES-
“Shut up this thing!” The Magma King shouted, ripping the radio from it’s place.
“Dude, this is my car remember!”
“AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!” He roared, incinerating the radio. The ashes poured onto Jimmy’s lap.
“Man, you’re payin’ for that”
“Have some more wine…”

[19:00]
“An’ so I said, I said… urgh….”
“I say shudddd… more wine…”

[21:35]
The car was silent, bar a low groan.
“Man… How long we been out for?” Jimmy sat up, checking his watch. “Goddamn wake up, MK!”
“Hey… hey…”
“We’re walking, come on!”
“Fine then. Better than having that curse take effect”

[23:30]
The two men arrived at a massive traffic hold up, climbing over cars and running through hordes of terrified people. But now the crowd was getting too thick.
“Man, we’re never gonna get through at this rate”
“Jimmy, not to worry”, MK said, realising his name had been shortened. He shot a plume of lava into the air, which just terrified people even more and they didn’t really move any quicker.
“Silence!” He screamed, incinerating an entire line of people with his sceptre.
“Dude…” Jimmy gazed at the ashes, “You didn’t have to kill them…”
“Uh, I’m sorry, I was just a bit annoyed, you know?” The crowd began to panic.
“That was my husband…”
“You monster!”
“How could you-
“Please, people calm down… Or you’ll get it too.” The Magma King approached the crater, now filled with silence. He looked up, to see something he would take to his grave. Dragnok-Jat. It was a monster, at least twenty feet tall, clad in metal, with four legs and four massive taloned feet. It’s head was in the shape of a lion’s, instead with many long, purple tentacles protruding from the mouth, and six beady red eyes. A shadowy mist shrouded it. It let loose an unholy, terrible screech, before leaping onto the Magma King.

“Die, foul demon!” He shouted, shooting a stream of lava at the hulking brute. The lava merely tickled Dragnok, and in return, it gave a flying kick to the surprised Magma King. He was flung into a nearby car, the alarm blaring out as the window shattered.
“Urgh…” The Magma King said, trying to get himself back up. A coil of slimy tentacles grabbed at Jimmy, lifting him into the air.
“Jimmy!” He jumped high into the air, onto the head of the beast, thrusting his sceptre into one of it’s eyes. Dragnok-Jat screeched mechanically, angered by the attack. It shook fiercely, trying to be rid of the Magma King, who’s blazing hands were almost melting the impenetrable armour.
“Back to hell with you, filthy beast!” He wore it down with his flaming fists, brutally pounding and smashing until it could take no more.
“Krrreeee!” It screamed, amplifying it’s shadowy cloak. The Magma King, gasped, flying back onto the road. “I… I can…” The Magma King struggled to sit up.
“Shkrrrrriiii!” Dragnok-Jat, approached, and thrust it’s foot downwards, each talon missing him only barely, sticking deep into the ground. The foot pressed downwards, strangling the Magma King. He gagged and choked, dying, his face redder and redder, his consciousness fading quicker. The beast was ready to give the final shove. And then it stopped.
“…uhhh…” The King gargled. The beast looked to the sky, and then let out an unholy screech. It disappeared into the mist.
“MK, my man, you alright?” Jimmy ran to the Magma King. He lay motionless, aside from his twitching fingers. The full moon cast a light onto the two figures, now alone on the shattered road.
“Just as I had expected from you, mortal… You failed me.”
 
Blarph. Need to get these old chapters out fast so I can get onto the more recent stuff.

Chapter 2- The Duel

“… Urgh…” the Magma King groaned, barely conscious, laying face down on the floor. Out of nowhere, the red figure reappeared, looking over the battered body.
“We had a deal, mortal. Once more my trust in your kind has proven fruitless”, said the figure, kneeling over the Magma King’s head. “Time to die-
“No!” Jimmy dashed clumsily from behind a mess of broken cars. He lunged at the figure, desperate to regain his friend. It only took a flick of the man’s finger to send Jimmy sprawling back to his hiding place, now unconscious. “Hehehe”, the figure raised a finger into the air, sparkling with a red glow. His grin expanded even further, and he began to cackle. The Magma King looked up, too beaten to do anything. Too tired to even react. He only barely managed to scream, as the devil’s very claw pierced his brain. Blood oozed from the Magma King’s head as he walked away, satisfied. The road was finally silent.

“… Urgh…” the Magma King groaned in a familiar fashion. His eyes flashed open, only to see the roof, formed from igneous rock. He heard the roar of the magma pits. The Magma King sat up. “Oh damn”, he said, observing his surroundings, “I’m in hell again”. He stood, and walked past the pits, across the crooked wooden bridges, and through the pitch black corridors, until he reached his goal: The reception desk. A shocked serpent woman looked at him
“Excuse me? Are you the-
“It’ssss you! Master! He’s here!” The serpent woman ran in panic, screaming. The Magma King waited patiently at the desk, scratching his chin as he did often at such desks.
“You have arrived” There were footsteps down the corridor.
You have arrived”
“How dare you speak to me that way?!” The devil screeched, shoving the Magma King to the floor. “This is my world, mortal. I am the master of this world. Now that you are part of this world, I would suggest looking up to me” The devil grinned. The Magma King frowned, picking up his sceptre.
“I look up to nobody. Release me at once-
Gahahahahahahaha!”the devil cackled, “Are you attempting to threaten me?”
“No”, the Magma King replied, springing upwards, his sceptre pointed to the devil‘s cheek, “I think I’ll go further than that!”
“You fool… No demon can kill me, let alone a mere mortal. I am the incarnation of evil, the very source of all things unholy. I am the devil! And you… you are merely a man”.
“Oh, I assure you. I’m more than that!” The Magma King’s sceptre popped open, blasting hot magma into the devil’s face. The devil merely swung his head aside and spat, brandishing a sword of pure darkness. “I will enjoy killing you, you interfering wretch! Let our duel begin!”

The two men charged at each other, weapons ready to strike. Instead, they clashed together, both sides pushing as hard as they could, trying to knock the other down. The devil’s strength proved greater, however, and the Magma King was smashed through the reception desk with ease. “You couldn’t kill Dragnok… Did you really think you could kill me?” The devil towered over the Magma King, his sword pointed at his neck.
“Hyagh!” The Magma King shouted, sweeping his foot forwards and knocking the devil off his feet. He then set his fists aflame, their positions reversed. The devil roared, spraying hot streams of fire from his mouth that harmed even the Magma King, staggering him slightly.
“Die, mortal!” The devil screeched, almost feral, charging at the Magma King, his sword swinging wildly. The Magma King reacted quickly, flinging himself forwards with a flame charged boot. The hit was received, the devil skidding along the floor as if he’d fallen out of a car. He, however, simply hovered back into the air, now furious. He screamed with the voices of billions of dead men, swelling to twice his size, his muscles ripping from his black trench coat, and his teeth now fashioned as those of a sharks. Darkness shrouded his now massive, unreal form, as he cackled madly. The Magma King merely stared upwards, now sweating. His skin began to pale. A crowd had gathered around the scene.
That’s right, mortal. Now you’re beginning to see it right. You cannot kill me… Nobody can kill me!

The Magma King’s panic just climbed higher and higher, the devil growing ever so much bigger and more terrifying.
SUBMIT TO ME, SUBMIT TO YOUR FEARS!
“…fears?…”
FEEL THEM CRAWL AROUND YOUR SPIRIT! FEEL THEM PARALYZE YOU, PETRIFY YOU!
“it’s just…”
“What?” The devil spoke almost normally again.
“…Fears… Just an…”
“What?! How-
“Just an illusion!” The Magma King snapped back together, seeing the devil; as he truly was. He leapt onto the devil, stunned in a mixture of amazement and horror. Scorching hands struck the devil’s face repeatedly, pounding him in the chest, the Magma King masked in an uncontrollable fury.
“Off of me, wretch!” The devil spat an enormous amount of flame, and then hovered swiftly to his feet. The Magma King shook his head, just before the devil grabbed it with both hands, and threw him into a crumbling wall. The Magma King toppled over, but scrambled back to his feet quickly before the charging devil could make contact with him.
“Urgh!” The Magma King shielded himself in flame, as the devil missed once more with his dark sword.

“Time to fight fire with fire!” The devil laughed, as his fists too set aflame. He gave the Magma King a quick punch, but to his surprise, it was quickly grabbed by the Magma King. He then returned the favour, this blow landing hard, and knocking the devil down.
“Take this you-URGH!” The Magma King’s arm was pulled downwards, the slam causing him to switch positions with his foe. The devil lifted the Magma King back into the air, by the throat.
“Looks like it’s over”, the devil smiled. The Magma King struggled to resist, only managing to kick his legs as he gagged and choked. The devil then dropped him back down to the floor, and brandished his sword. Making sure not to make the same mistake twice, his foot immobilised the Magma King’s leg. His sword loomed over his opponent’s head.
“Hehehe”, the devil cackled, “Bad luck, mortal… you lose”.
 
Keep on bringing out these crappy old chapters...

Chapter 3- The Hunting Squad

“You lose” The devil stayed still, his sword still ready to impale the Magma King, any second.
“No, I can’t” Thoughts rushed through his head, bouncing around his skull.
“So, do you want to surrender? We have a nice torture room here, just for you”
“No, I won’t. I can’t surrender… Not today” The Magma King’s eyes flashed wide open for a second, his fists clenched tight.
“Take your time now, we’ve got all- Eh?” The devil turned around. The floor rumbled violently, knocking him off his footing. “What is this?!” He gazed in horror, as the magma pits began to bubble ferociously. Quickly and suddenly, they erupted, the magma roaring and shooting to the surface. The crowd panicked, trying to hide in caverns and running as fast as possible to escape the scene.
“No! No!” The devil tried to finish the Magma King whilst he had the chance, but to his distress, his foe was surrounded in a shield of fire. The Magma King rose to his feet, grabbing the devil by the throat, payback for his wounds. “You said”, The Magma King’s grip tightened on the devil’s neck, “That this is your world”. The lava rose to their feet. “You were right… But this is my world too”, The magma rose to their waists. There was a scream from the master of hell. “My kind of world… A place where I can use the source of my power… All of it… To kill you” It filled the room, lashing the sides, pulverising the Devil until he was almost disintegrated.
“…stop…” The devil could barely talk.
“Keep begging” The Magma King laughed, “It’s funny to see you beg”
“…plea…please…”
“Fine then”, The flood stopped, draining back down into the pits. The crowd returned, gathering around once more. The devil lied on the floor, now but a skeleton, twitching and begging. “Duel’s over… I win”. The crowd observed, shocked. “Now, I have some requests…”

[A few minutes later]
…“Hey come on, you- you’re back!”…
“Thankfully…” The Magma King awoke, still lying on the road, Jimmy looking over him with a wine bottle in hand.
“You’re back! How’d it go?”
“It was a little rough… But I think I got out of it OK. Oh, and I brought some guys with me”
“Huh? What guy-”Jimmy cut himself off as a giant black portal ripped into the air, hellish creatures pouring from it’s centre. “Holy shiz…”
“There we are… Here comes the hunting squad!” They turned around, as the portal disappeared into inexistence. In it’s place, stood at least thirty creatures, demonic and hellish.
“Did you really need that many guys?”
“Eh, there’s a little more than I originally planned… They just seemed to compliment my main choices.. My main choices, on that subject, please stand forward”, The Magma King gestured as three of the creatures revealed themselves. “Firstly, there is Zraz, my good helper. He will aid in trapping the beast”, Zraz took a bow as the Magma King spoke. He was a spiny, human sized lizard, shrouded in a black cloak. He wielded a bone staff.
“Secondly, there is Betty. She will assist in killing the beast”, whilst the name didn’t strike Jimmy as impressive, the Minotaur itself certainly was. It was the size of a building, angry and smashing it’s huge, metal hammers into the ground.
“And my third, is Victor. He will extract Dragnok’s soul.” Victor stood forward, bowing as his back cracked. He was nothing but a skeleton, wearing a large coat, and holding a syringe the size of a child. He seemed to grin manically, although that would be normal seeing as his jaw was locked in place.
“Thank you, my friends. Now that we are all here… I believe we should get straight down to the task at hand. Dragnok-Jat disappeared about an hour ago, as the sun fell. I am assuming it will return to existence when the sun rises. But the big question here is… where?”
“I will be able to detect him”, Zraz croaked, “but only when he returns to this mortal plain. It will be a few hours at least…”
“Gonna be bored if we wait much longer…” Jimmy moaned. The Magma King stroked his chin.
“I guess…there’s all that wine to finish.”

[A few hours later, 5:24am]
The village of Buzzmore slept peacefully through the night, as the sky started to lighten very slowly. A sleeping robin shot to it’s feet turning to face the hills in the distance. The sky was starting to rip as the earth shook. Mist flooded through a valley, rushing towards the nearby village. It grew thicker and thicker as trees shattered into pieces and the earth rippled with the rushing clouds. Just beside a road into the village, the mist clouds gathered together, hissing and steaming as it formed into a familiar figure. The fetid beast screeched as it finally formed together. It growled, heading towards the village, savage and ravenous, tentacles wriggling crazily. The sleeping village of Buzzmore was unaware of the terror that would soon befall them.

Day was breaking.

The harvester would slaughter again.
 
Eat this, non-existant readers.

Next chapter after my small holiday.

Chapter 4- The Boss

A convoy of four cars trundled along the road, three loaded with demons and beasts. Leading them was the Magma King, his companion Jimmy by his side, still on the wheel after three hours, and completely drunk.
“… Buzzmore’s late… I want… no more driving…”
“Man, I’m surprised you been in the car for this long” Jimmy said, slightly nervous. The Magma King’s eyes bolted back open, bloodshot and tired.
“What, uh, I mean what…” He tried to keep his stomach down, “…Are you implying?”
“I mean usually by now, you’re not the best driver I know. An’ with that much booze… Usually something’ would’ve happened, I mean I’m proud of you, you doin’ well” The Magma King groaned.
“Thanks, but don’t… you say that, you’ll jinx me-
The car jerked as the Magma King realised he was driving on the wrong side of the road. Then he noticed the other car headed straight for him. The few seconds seemed like minutes. Jimmy swore. The Magma King, sweating, twisted the steering wheel as far as it could go to avoid the clash.
“Come on come on come-
CRRRRAAASSHHH!

The scene was left still for a moment. The two cars were trashed, lying together in a flaming heap.
“Ahek… Urr… Aghh…” The Magma King lay crushed inside the front of the car, taking the full impact of the crash. Jimmy staggered out, coughing and scraping glass shards off his jacket.
“MK my man, you OK?”
“… I’m… fine… mostly” He rolled out of the windscreen, thudding onto the tarmac. As he tried to get back up, three more cars pulled up beside the one he had crashed into. They were small, very old fashioned, and very expensive, deep black paint shining in the sun. The doors flung open, with shady looking men in business suits approaching the Magma King. One turned to the trashed car.
“Ted’s in a bit of a state. Doesn’t look like he’ll be getting up. We’ll leave him here, boss?”
“I’m more concerned about the car. Is the idiot in the other car dead, or will we have to do that bit?” A mysterious voice came from the distance, not unlike that of an American gangster from the 1920s.
“He’s alive boss. Not sure where he came from. He’s got one heck of a fashion sense”
“What do you mean?”
“Big red cloak, fiery outfit- Jesus, something stinks in his breath. Must’ve been drinking pretty heavily-
“What?! Let me see”, a man in a smart black tuxedo and bow tie walked slowly towards the Magma King, hands behind his back. Sunglasses masked his eyes. He flicked his black quiff back as he approached the scene. There lay the Magma king, twitching, murmuring things that didn’t make sense, glass embedded into his arm. He looked upwards. The man grinned.
“Hahaha, now look who we’ve got here!”

“It’s you… you son of a…” The Magma King tried to get onto his feet.
“And you broke one of my cars… That’ll add to your nine hundred thousand pound debt. Hehehe” He tapped his glasses, “I guess this will make it a million. You should know not to mess with The Boss”
“What debt… I dunno any debt…?” The Magma King gargled, almost standing.
“You’re more pissed than I thought… You know, the bombs, the people, the hideouts, you did accumulate a hefty some over the years…” ‘The Boss’ flicked through his wallet.
“Come on man, you-you’re making a fool of yourself!” Jimmy said, as he was pushed back by a group of thugs. The Magma King rubbed his eyes and slapped himself on the cheek.
“I owe you nothing, Boss. And I’m busy… I’m busy now. We’ll settle this later”
“No, I don’t think so.” The Boss walked so close to the Magma King that their faces almost touched, “I think we’re going to settle it now. I’m not going to miss out on this opportunity. Tired, wrecked and with nobody to help you. Men!” He clicked his fingers. His thugs drew pistols and rifles from their jackets.
“I would think not… You were wrong about one thing. Men!” Three separate hordes of skeletons, ghosts, demons, wolves and serpents merged together to form a semi-circle behind the Magma King. The Boss looked in awe.
“What’ve you been up to now…” He snapped back together, “never mind. Even if he’s brought an army back from hell, he’s still the same old Magma King… And we’ve got him in our sight. Fire!”

Bullets spat rapidly from the array of pistols and machine guns. The hunting squad charged into battle, as the Magma King took cover behind the wreckage of his crashed car. He observed the chaotic battle. It was indeed chaotic, in every sense of the word. A haphazard mess of fire, bullets and death. He grinned manically, and then, brandishing his sceptre, rose back to his feet. “This is my chance to finish this”, he muttered, gazing at the other side of the road. “And I must take it!” He leapt over the flaming car into the battle, swinging his sceptre madly. He swung it down onto one of the thugs with enough force to kill him. He continued, clubbing and thrusting with incredible skill. As he did so, bullets rebounded off the sceptre straight back to their respective owners. His body was engulfed in flames, as he punched, kicked and smashed his way through the endless hordes of thugs and gangsters. The Magma King grinned. He hadn’t had such a skirmish in quite a long time.
“GRAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!”A minotaur’s roar shattered glass as the terrifying Betty swung it’s hammer. A group of men were flattened instantly, blood quickly pooling around the scene. The thugs had very little chance of pulling a victory. The Boss turned to his chief advisor.
“The guys will be able to hold ‘em off for a while but they won’t beat them. Listen up, closely. I know something we could exploit…” The advisor nodded as The Boss whispered into his ear. The two slipped away from the scene of the battle…

[About two minutes later…]
The Magma King had progressed almost to the other side of the war zone when his phone began to buzz crazily. This was strange as he’d assumed it would have broken by now. He span behind a mob car, panting, and flipped his phone open.
“Jimmy? Are you alright?…” There was no response. “Jimmy?!”
“Jimmy’s with me now” The phone blared back.
“What have you-
“Maybe this will teach you a lesson-
Click. The phone snapped back. The Magma King sprinted clumsily forward, hopping over the wreckage and vehicles as he went along. The Boss was only metres away, mere metres. He grinned manically. His advisor stood on his right. On his left was Jimmy, a pistol shoved to his head.#
“You murderous-
A helicopter landed behind The Boss, the blades whirring rapidly.
“Save the blather, Magma King. Maybe you’ll be more compliant in future… besides, I need more food for the beast.” He laughed madly as he dragged Jimmy into the helicopter. The Magma King stood, paralyzed.
“This is risky… I could probably jump in right now but-”The helicopter’s door slid shut. He eyed the tail of the helicopter as if struck with inspiration.
“Jimmy!”
 
[EDIT]: Frickin sensors. Really screwing up my story. >:l

Still no comments? Hmm. I'll post chapter 5 anyway.

Chapter 5- The _Hell Extractor

“Ngnn!” The Magma King cringed as his arms were forced to work even harder as they slipped gradually off the tail of the helicopter. The pain was excruciating, as he used whatever life his arms used to hold to pull himself back up onto the helicopter. Whilst the wind slammed into his body and his upper body muscles ripped apart, the helicopter flew gently over a deep valley, barely a mile away from it’s destination. But a mile was a mile too long.
“Agh!” He screamed as his arms slipped once more.
“Boss, he’s still on our tail” Reported the pilot, turning to The Boss in a confused manner.
“What?! Persistent little idiot, isn’t he?” The Boss thought for a second, “Just swerve the helicopter around a bit. Shake him off!”
The Magma King gritted his teeth. “Just another kilometre, only one more-
“Will do, boss.” The Helicopter took a sharp turn to the left.
“Gaaaagh!” The Magma King heard a snapping noise as he roared in pain. “I-I can make this…”
The helicopter shot upwards, the Magma King sliding down the tail.
“I can…” The Magma King considered his situation, “Eh, screw it” He muttered quietly. His hands softly loosened grip on the tail as his arms relaxed. The helicopter disappeared into the distance. The sound of all else was drowned out by the rushing of wind as he began his descent. He plummeted downwards, overcome with a feeling of calmness and serenity. He had been falling for about seven seconds.
“Now this would be a stupid way to go,” he muttered, “Luckily I’m landing in water. Now it’s just a matter of when I hit the-

“…nnng…”

The perfect blackness of an unconscious vision began to filter away. A blurred image of a rocky environment replaced it, slowly coming into focus.
“…Urgh….” The Magma King tried to talk, but his words were simply gargled and choked away. He ran his fingers through the sandy floor. The sunshine cast a warm glow, and a bright one. The Magma King groaned, and attempted to sit upwards. He failed.
“Th-th-” He spat the water out from his throat, “This is the third time in the past few days I’ve woken up like this.” He managed to sit up this time. His arms still felt weak, but aside from that, nothing had really been damaged. He adjusted his crown slightly. His hair was swept aside to stop it slopping over his face.
“Good thing I used duct tape it seems” He said, content it was intact. He stood, shaking the sand from his clothing, which was soaked in water. The river had taken him all the way down the valley in his sleep. It had saved a lot of walking, for sure.
“Looks like that drop turned out pretty well then” He said cheerfully, pulling a pair of sunglasses from a zipped pocket in his shirt. They rested upon his eyes, partially covering them from the blinding gaze of the sun. His good mood, however was quickly vanquished. As he looked in the direction he would head in, he spied a metal tunnel dug into the rock. Just ahead of the valley was a similarly fashioned tower, surrounded in a dark cloud which completely contrasted the bright sky.
“Oh christ… what has he done this time?”

“Ged’off me, you-
“Silence! Resistance will not be tolerated.” The elevator made a satisfying beep as it reached it’s destination. Two security guards, dressed in black, walked out as the door opened, their arms locked with those of their prisoner. That prisoner was known as Jimmy. The guards were those of The Boss, one of the most powerful crime lords on the planet. Jimmy squirmed, kicking his legs wildly as he was dragged through the corridors. They reached a pair of automatic doors, and threw Jimmy into the room ahead. The door led onto a large balcony, overlooking a very technological/sophisticated set of machinery, and a large metal container. Inside the container, a large pipe sucked in masses of dark smoke.
“Hey…” Jimmy gasped, “we spent ages trying to get that thing… how did you-
“Dragnok-Jat was an easy target. We travelled to Buzzmore and captured it whilst it was returning to it’s home. Of course, it won’t be going home anymore.” The Boss didn’t even turn to face Jimmy as he spoke. He simply stood, observing the tormented beast suffer and scream as it endured the pains of it’s capture.
“That machine… what does it do?”
“Do you honestly think I’d tell you?” The Boss smacked Jimmy in the face, knocking him to the floor.
“You gotta gloat to somebody now, don’t you?”
“Fair point,” The Boss turned back to Dragnok, “I call it the Hell Extractor. A large vacuum mechanism designed with the sole purpose of extracting dark energies. I developed it with a team of scientists over the course of a few months. Of course, we did a bit of fieldwork…”

“I could probably sneak in without that guard seeing me, but…”

“I had contacts in every section of the world willing to construct the machinery. That didn’t take too long. Containing the energy was the hardest part. Complicated science. You wouldn’t understand.” The Boss walked to a control panel nearby, which presumably operated the machinery. He pulled a lever downwards, and then reached for a metal box on the wall. From the box, he pulled four wiry cords. One by one, he clipped them onto his back.

“That was pretty painless. Now, time to find the elevator…”

“And then I just tied up the loose ends. The project was very secretive. Can’t really afford the risk. I’m sure an intelligent man like you would understand…”

“DOORS CLOSING”

“Alright then,” Jimmy said, wiping the blood from his face, “how did you manage to get down there in the first place? I mean, as far as I’m aware, it’s a pretty hard thing to do”
“Both you and I know that’s not true, Jimmy. It’s the walls. Between our dimensions. Those of the mortal world and the realms of the immortal. They’re fading, breaking. We don’t know why yet, but we know they are. Rifts are opening up all over the place. Demons are walking amongst us, and we may walk amongst demons!” The Boss paused for a second, tapping his glasses, “a good businessman takes opportunities while they can-
“Urrgh!” A security guard flung through the doors and thudded onto the floor next to Jimmy.
“What the damn hell-
“Agh!” Another came crawling in, quickly falling unconscious. The room was lit with the light of a burning flame. The Magma King stood triumphantly in the doorway.
“You’re not a businessman, “Boss”, you’re an asshole. Hand Jimmy over and-” he cut himself off for a few seconds, “and while you’re at it, disarm that machine.”
“Disarm it?!” The Boss laughed, “don’t you see? This machine is made to extract the energies from immortal creatures! Do you know where that energy will go when extracted?” He pulled down another lever on the control panel. The machine roared, as the glass tubes filled with blackness. The Boss raises his arms into the air, his laugh now maniacal. “The energy is fuelling me!”
 
THIS BATTLE APPROACHES A CONCLUSION! WHO WILL BE THE VI-oh wait. Yeah. Nobody reads this. Whatever. Chapter 6 is here, nobody!

Chapter 6- Grudges

“You said that you’d come back” fires shot from the roaring pits of magma. They licked the fleshless body suspended not too high above, covered in chains.
“It’s been twenty years since you said that. And you never came. You forgot about me!” The man, merely a skeleton after years of torture, clenched his jaw tight and began to pull.
“But now, the walls are starting to crumble. And when the walls crumble… the difference between these worlds just fades and fades. There’s no time better than now… To get out of here myself.” The chains made a cracking sound as they snapped from the walls. The man fell into the magma pit, though painlessly. He crawled back out, slowly. Magma dripped from his bones as he reached for a wooden chest next to the pit. Swords… at this moment, they were all he needed. As the two blades glistened with light, he was filled with determination. Nothing could stop him now. Nothing could stop him from escaping.

“Not anymore!” the Magma King leapt at The Boss with all his might. However, his attack was countered by a simple sweep from The Boss, who was now immensely powered. He laughed, and raised his hands into the air, the wires still attached to his back. “Well, well, well…”
“That…”
“Getting the picture now, huh? Look at you. Lying on the floor, writhing in pain… This time, you incompetent wreck, there is no killing me! Now, have a taste of this!” The Boss’ hands became enshrouded in shadows, the same mist that once fuelled the now dead Dragnok-Jat. His fists then slammed into the Magma King’s chest with such tremendous force that the very room began to quiver. The Magma King could barely breathe.
“Come on now…” he thought, “ I’ve been almost killed in just about every little skirmish I’ve had in the past week. Time to break the trend… Jimmy!”
“What?! No!” The Boss quickly swooped around, to see Jimmy holding a switchblade over the wires. “No you don’t!” he delivered a swift punch to Jimmy’s stomach, which knocked him out almost instantly.
“Aha!” The Magma King appeared behind The Boss. His hands melted the flimsy wires into a gooey puddle on the floor.
“You think that will stop me? No, no. You have merely stopped the flow of power. I already have enough to finish you! Now, feel my-AAAAGH!” He was cut off quickly as burning hot magma pressed into his face. There was a viscous hiss, and steam began to jet from his eyes. The Boss screamed in pain. Two punches hit him on either side of his head.
“Get off of me!” The Boss shouted, infuriated. He grabbed the Magma King’s neck, blinded. A hard boot hit him in the groin, but that wasn’t enough to make him loosen his grip. The Magma King continued to press his attack.

The two were locked in combat. Neither would let go as they beat, burnt and battered the other.
“Got to get myself out of this somehow,” the Magma King muttered, “time to give things a little…” He clenched his teeth, and, with a mighty surge of strength, twisted himself around and shoved the Boss into the metal rail guarding the balcony. He pressed the Boss hard onto the rail, ensuring he stayed.
“Nnngn!” a shadowy fist hit him hard in the chest, but it wasn’t enough to stop him. The Magma King, his hands enveloped in flames, continued his assault. His movements had became sluggish, but they packed enough power.
“Get off me… you…” The Boss slurred as he tried to give another attack, but as his shoulders were pressed against the rail, this was impossible. Instead, he delivered a weak kick to the stomach. The Magma King began to sweat, trying to keep up his attack.
“Better… wrap this up,” He gave one last punch, this time straight into the Boss’ face. The Boss did not respond. His head lolled backwards as he drifted into unconsciousness.
“I… I did it… He’s down…” The Magma King wiped his forehead, “Time to… get rid of the trash…”. He carelessly pushed the body over the rail. It thudded as it hit a glass tube, and slid onto the cold, metal floor. The Magma King leant on the rail, gathering his breath. He took a few deep gulps of air, and then turned to the corner of the room.
“Jimmy?…” There was a short silence.
“Jimmy?!”
“… Man I’m not comin’ out with you again…”

[One day later]
The “Forbidden chamber” café was found in a more quiet area of the town centre, blending so perfectly with the other shops and scenery that it was almost impossible to find. It was, at first glance, a very unnoticeable, unwelcoming and generally unappealing place. The chamber was all of these things indeed, but it was surprisingly busy. It seemed to attract the stranger, more mysterious, or more sinister members of the town very well. The atmosphere was unsettling and the service was barely average, but despite this, it was the Magma King’s most regular place to visit. He and Jimmy sat at a small table, sipping at their drinks.
“Things really didn’t go too bad after all, if you think about it. I mean, with the Boss intervening and all, everything’s been sorted out. Got that demon killed for ya’, and I don’t think he’s gonna be complaining about that debt of yours anytime soon…”
“Yeah, I guess not…” The Magma King put his coffee down onto the table and held his head in his hands.
“You don’t seem to be feelin’ too good. Something wrong?”
“I don’t really know… something’s wrong, definitely. There’s just a kind of ominous feeling in the air, like a storm’s brewing. Everything seems to be getting thicker.”
“I dunno what’d make you think that, man. Everything’s sorted for now, right?”
“For now, I-Wait a second!”
“Huh?”
“Shhh… That guy, leaning on the counter. He’s been looking at us since we arrived,” The Magma King kept his head down. The man leaning on the counter, dressed in a very smart looking black business suit, tipped his bowler hat over his eyes and produced a device resembling a walkie-talkie from his pocket.
“Cover’s been blown, Boss. Mission must be aborted, over.”
“Understood,” came the reply, “keeping this operation secret is of the utmost importance. Return to headquarters immediately”
“Roger that, boss. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” The man sighed, and then proceeded to exit the building. The Magma King lifted his head back up, and then continued his conversation.

Footsteps echoed through the once silent corridors of hell. Through them walked a mutilated, skeletal figure, two swords strapped to his belt. He walked almost calmly, though thoughts raced uncontrollably through his mind, pounding at his sanity relentlessly.
“Stop there!” Came a voice as he entered a large, familiar room, a river of magma running through the middle.
“How did you escape?!” The devil appeared, face to face with the man.
“You already know. Now shut up and let me pass.”
“What?!” The devil boiled with fury, “I’ve had enough of you pathetic mortals! I’ve already had one escape, and that’s one too many! Nobody, not even my most trusted servants, have ever spoken to me as you did! And I will never, ever, let another, idiotic mortal leave my domain! It is time that I bring this madness to an end!”
“No, you don‘t understand.” He replied, starting to laugh. He drew a sword from his back, and in a matter of seconds, thrust the sword through the devil’s chest. “The madness is only beginning… now, it is time for me to leave. The surface world calls my name, and I have a lot of revenge taking to do.” He ripped his sword from the bleeding corpse, and raised it into the air. “There’s a big list of people who I’m going to kill, “Magma King”, and you’re the first. For I am Sir Adamus, king of assassins, and you will never cross me again!”
 
Only read as far as the prologue so far, but great job, man. It's awesome. Can't wait to read more, but don't have the time right now. ;D

Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I wanted to read it when I first saw it but couldn't find the time.

By the way, did you mean to censor hell and damn? Because there's a way around it. ;P And I think those are pretty light curse words, as they're used more frequently than others, and for other purposes than cursing.


P.S. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I'm a bit of a, erm, "Grammar Nazi," so I couldn't resist. Here are the grammar mistakes in the prologue, in order of appearance:

grabbing at the man who stood on the bridge above them.

often flashed red as he gazed, marvelled at the pools.

“But you were on duty, Mistress Fang! Where were you when this incident occurred? Answer me, darn you!”

She had sharp, blood-covered teeth

He was a brutish and muscular,

one of our less… civilised residents,
escaped to

Although once its powers were

“I’ll think about it,replied the Magma King. He scratched his chin.

“No, you don’t understand.” The...

“Of course, sir.” The Magma King gulped.
 
Oo. A comment! Thanks! ^.^

Very old fic for the most part, so there's bound to be a load of grammar mistakes(probably a load in 11+ too but at least I have an excuse for now xD). I'll get round to fixing all those, and again thanks. Also, knowing that way to avoid the censors would be awesome.
 
No offense, but could you re-edit some of this? Your paragraphs were a little difficult for me to read because they’re bunched together so much; furthermore, you’re doing this story with a lot of dialogue, which itself should be broken up to begin with (that is, every time you end the quotations in one sentence, the next one should always be treated as though it's a new paragraph, unless it's a small action or about something related to what the charcter was just saying). Otherwise, this looks a pretty good story; you just need to learn to double-space more often than you do.
 
Hating the fact my writing style changes so quickly.

In any case, no more new chapters from me due to issues at home(which means I'm using this crappy laptop now). Good thing there's still a load of old ones.

Also, Apollo, you are certainly right, and I'll try and do some editing when I get time, as I doubt anybody'll be willing to do it for me. Anyway, CHAPTOR SEVURN!(Which has been spaced)

---------

Chapter 7- The Hitman

[One week later, 7:00, Unknown Location]

“Jackson Brown, ID number 57. Password is redfish. Requesting permission to enter.”

“PERMISSION GRANTED. WELCOME BACK.” Agent Brown burst frantically into the room as the thick steel doors slid open. The room was like a large office, rows and rows of computers and machinery, men running around delivering parcels and boxes, but with a large, raised circle in the centre. This circle was surrounded by computer screens suspended from the ceiling, and in the centre of it, was a man sitting on a chair.

“Hello, Jackson.”

“He saw me, sir. I’m afraid it was impossible to determine his current residence,” Jackson adjusted his cap nervously.

“Very well, Jackson. It appears we will have to use the information currently obtained to determine a suitable time-

“A suitable time?!” Jackson gasped, “You’re not going to-” Jackson stopped, thinking it wise not to go any further. There was a short silence.

“Do not question my actions. He was at the forbidden chamber cafe. I believe he has been spotted there more than once. Do you have an idea of when?”

“He stops there for lunch, sir… I…”

“Then I shall arrange the attack. Hitman X will be assigned-

“X?! Are you goddamn insane?! This operation was supposed to be secret! We’ll have a bloodbath on our hands if we-

“Jackson!” Roared the man in the chair, “I did not ask for your opinion on this matter!”

“I-I’m sorry sir, but-

“I understand that you’re stressed”, the man said, softer, “you’ve been working very hard recently. Go on, take a break… I have business to attend to.” The man turned around in his chair as Jackson left the building. He adjusted the headset he wore, and pressed a button on the side of it.

“Is it done?” The headset blared.

“Yes… Yes, it has been arranged…”

“Excellent. I expect results, remember. Else… there will be severe consequences”

[12:00]
“Two fifty please.”

“Uhh…” The Magma King rummaged through his pockets, “here’s a fiver. Keep the change."

“Seriously? Thanks,” the woman at the counter said. The Magma King snatched his plate and began to walk towards his table.

“Actually, I changed my mind. Give me the change.”

“… Here you go then…” The Magma King slid the money into his pocket, and then sat down.

“Well, now I’m free from all that trouble, maybe it’s time I did something. I certainly can’t live like this forever… nah. Too much trouble. Too tired to think. Maybe I’ll just wait for some sort of miracle to come along and-

“Magma King! Prepare to die!” Machine gun fire spat through the windows, shattering them into pieces.

“What the hell-

A grenade exploded, smashing tables into pieces and killing the unfortunate people who were too close. The hail of bullets continued relentlessly. The Magma King threw himself to the floor, trying to advance towards the exit.

“You can’t hide from me! Show yourself!”

There was another explosion, this time near the counter. A man, almost seven feet tall, stood outside the shattered windows. He was dressed in a suit similar to the agent seen at the bar the previous week, and had a distinguishable, blood red scar running down the left side of his bald head.

“Coward! Face me like a-” The Magma King swung his sceptre straight into the face of the man. His name was X.

“Agh!” A fist was thrust straight into the Magma King’s face.

“You’re not as impressive as I expected. Disappointing, really.”

“Disappointing, eh?” He leapt back onto his feet, and shrouded himself in flames. “We’ll see about that.”

“Today is the day you die, ‘Magma King‘!” X roared, and the two men charged at each other.

The Magma King held his sceptre in front of his head to deliver a more powerful blow. But this was to no avail. The invincible X took the hit almost painlessly, and lunged onto the Magma King, pressing him to the floor. He beat him with brutal ferocity, each punch twenty times more powerful than that of an average human. It took a mighty thrust from the Magma King’s legs to knock the man off. Breathless, he scurried away from the hitman into a nearby alley.

“This is no good”, the Magma King thought to himself, “clearly physical strength alone won’t be enough to take him down. I’ll have to try something more… unorthodox”.

“Why do you hide?! You call yourself a king?! You are a coward!”

“Over here,” He quickly poked his head from his hiding place. The trap was set. He jumped into a nearby dustbin and closed the lid on his head.

“Playing hide and seek then? Can’t hide forever. When I find you, I’m gonna blast your brains out!” X approached the alley slowly, cautiously.

“Urrrgh,” the Magma King thought, “hopefully he won’t be much longer. Thinking about this… hiding in a bin definitely wasn’t one of my smarter plans.” footsteps drew closer and closer. The tension built up to a colossal amount. The footsteps stopped. Now was the time. The bin lid opened.

“Aggggh!” The hitman screeched in pain as flaming hands pressed straight into his face, scorching his eyes so fiercely he was blinded. The Magma King leapt from the dustbin and delivered a series of punches to the man, each imbued with fiery power. A swift uppercut finished the blows, the hitman now in immense pain. The only sounds in the alley way were those of his groaning and cursing.

“Going to kill you, you damn rat, kill you, when I-

“Hyagh!” The hitman was silenced by a swift boot to his face. He fell to the floor, bruised, burnt and covered in blood. The Magma king approached him, and knelt down.

“Hmm. Maybe blasting my brains out won’t be an option now. As for yours, however…” he pulled a grenade from the man’s belt and placed it in his mouth. The Magma King pulled the pin and walked away from the body. The hitman’s head exploded behind him, returning to the ground in the form of tiny, flaming fragments. The Magma King turned around for a second.

“Hmm. That’s enough action for today, I think.”

[About forty-five minutes later]

“Ahh… home.” The door closed softly as the Magma King walked into his lounge. He shook his coat, and then threw it onto the sofa along with his crown. “Maybe next time I’ll think of something that doesn’t involve me sitting in trash. This smell is awful,” he said, brushing his hands over his hair, knocking a banana peel onto the floor.

“Ergh. I feel like drinking something-Hey…” he approached the cellar slowly, “something’s not right”.

It was a sound. From the cellar. A sound of faint, shallow breathing. Very carefully, and cautiously, the Magma King reached his hand towards a switch and flicked the lights on. As they flickered, a humanoid shape was visible. Finally, the lights turned on, and the shape came into full view. It was a man, half flesh, half mere bone, clad in burnt, ruined assassin’s robes. He laid unconscious on the floor. The Magma King stood in horror, paralyzed to the spot.

“Oh lord…”
 
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