Ah, frell. Well, I talked to them again to let them know what was going on, and I got a contradictory statement. He basically said, "We aren't allowed to receive packages for someone who doesn't have a box here" which is completely contrary to the information I got before, which was "Oh yeah! I'll give you a call when it arrives -- you can just come and pick that up. Just a $5 fee!"
Ugh. The guy then said that the package will be sent back to you upon delivery. Which sucks raw mackerel buttocks. Frakking UPS, man, frakking UPS. I'll have a conversation with my parents about having it delivered here instead, just to save some much unneeded complications. Sorry, man!