hahaha!
I too know all the rules, (I think, probably not)
but I'm not pro, I know how to serve properly and give the ball spin, and counter-spin (Top-spin is amazing)
but I have serious trouble with people who mash the ball into orbit...
I can recover the ball from weird places, I once saved the darn thing after my dad nicked the edge and it went straight down. (Probably not very impressive...)