Yo, just wanted to let you know I finally got my memo/critique up for you (I know it's like two days past the two-week bump limit, but it's allowed since I covered a lot of stuff aside from being the overseeing mod in the WC). I hope you don't take it harshly, but I did try and point out and explain as much of the grammatical issues as I could (surprisingly, I'm not an English teacher, just someone who tries to promote better writing when he can). Also, I made a small note on how I think you'd do well working on description more, but don't let that deter you from writing more either since description's what I usually tell people to work on more anyways...