Writing 9/11

HolyMackerel

HolyMackerel

been here forevs yo
Member
So, this is a poem I created about 9/11. I've recently learned more about that day, and I felt so...moved by this situation. I needed to put it out in something, so I did.

I don't think I'll be doing many more of these.

Suicide
Impact, hitting us.
Ceiling crashing into us.
Breath taken from me.

Without air, I heave.
Smoke becomes our breath, coughing.
Hot flames fill the room.

I wonder if I
If I ever had a chance.
Did I have that chance?

Looking down at past.
Almost the same as last.
Almost the same, yes.

When I looked out there,
And saw that I had no chance.
To live, breathe.

I coughed hard, choking.
I looked down, crying.
And I jumped, falling.
 
Foreboding... I'm not sure what else to say about it beyond that. I like it, but it seems pretty dark to me considering the timing and what it's about.
 
Apollo the Incinermyn said:
Foreboding... I'm not sure what else to say about it beyond that. I like it, but it seems pretty dark to me considering the timing and what it's about.
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Thanks. I imagine it was a dark day, but I hardly remember it. I think it's best to confront scars of the past, so that you can learn for the future. : )
 
aggiegwyn said:
Thanks. I imagine it was a dark day, but I hardly remember it. I think it's best to confront scars of the past, so that you can learn for the future. : )
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Aye, keen philosophy (sp?). I was remember quite well what I was doing that day; since I was in junior high at the time, I was sitting in a Social Studies class when the principal ordered all classes over the intercom to turn on their televisions to CNN or some news channel to see live that one plane had crashed into the World Trade Center, with another coming right after it. It was a serious blow to the US's pride back then, though I didn't completely understand why until my later teens how big of deal it was beyond being an attack on American soil.
 
Apollo the Incinermyn said:
Aye, keen philosophy (sp?). I was remember quite well what I was doing that day; since I was in junior high at the time, I was sitting in a Social Studies class when the principal ordered all classes over the intercom to turn on their televisions to CNN or some news channel to see live that one plane had crashed into the World Trade Center, with another coming right after it. It was a serious blow to the US's pride back then, though I didn't completely understand why until my later teens how big of deal it was beyond being an attack on American soil.
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Yah, I didn't really realize until I saw a documentary about it this past Friday. I'm watching the rest of it tomorrow...it just blew my mind how little I knew. Thanks.
 
Wow, that made me cry, my family had lost a friend that day... I like the whole idea of it.
You did a great job.
 
Pretty good stuff you got there. It's a shame that the person in the poem jumped (I guess it did happen for real though)... :[
 
MrGatr said:
Wow, that made me cry, my family had lost a friend that day... I like the whole idea of it.
You did a great job.
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Thanks, I'm sorry for your loss.

Afro-G said:
Pretty good stuff you got there. It's a shame that the person in the poem jumped (I guess it did happen for real though)... :[
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Thanks. And the reason I made the person jump was because after seeing the documentary, I couldn't stop thinking about what was going on in there minds before jumping, and this was my way of expressing it. ;_;

Very sad, but thanks.
 
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