Actual label instructions on consumer goods

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1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)


2. On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)


3. On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???...)


4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)


5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Don 't turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)


7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)


8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get
those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???...)


10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to... what?)


11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)


13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)


14. On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


15. On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 
Great stuff there.

LOL, you made me want to get a tesco tiramisu to look at the label Dx

I remember one
16On a puzzle box:
"Warning; some assembly required."
(Um, Isn't that why I bought the puzzle?)
 
I lol'd, the best evaluation for foods ever!
Good job
 
The last one doesn't make much sense...
I mean, trying to stop a chainsaw with genitals?
That just doesn't seem right...
 
PokeChamp said:
The last one doesn't make much sense...
I mean, trying to stop a chainsaw with genitals?
That just doesn't seem right...
Click to expand...
Oh well, it never hurts to try, right? RIGHT?

I've heard of some of these, but still a great laugh. I guess they just put this stuff on there to make it seem like they either care about you, or because they have some space left on their packaging. Or maybe there's some comic genius working for these packaging companies.
 
Heavenly Spoon :F said:
PokeChamp said:
The last one doesn't make much sense...
I mean, trying to stop a chainsaw with genitals?
That just doesn't seem right...
Click to expand...
Oh well, it never hurts to try, right? RIGHT?

I've heard of some of these, but still a great laugh. I guess they just put this stuff on there to make it seem like they either care about you, or because they have some space left on their packaging. Or maybe there's some comic genius working for these packaging companies.
Click to expand...

I know why they do it Spoon. It's because they don't want a suit on their hands, so, they put warnings on the packages because if they didn't, they could be liable for "damage". It's really sad that they have to make themselves look stupid when in fact it was the consumers that were stupid and did whatever the labels advised against. It's like the McDonalds coffee incident; Ever since, they warn you that the coffee is "hot".
 
Poptarts:
Take pastry out of package
Place in toaster
After done, wait because it is hot
Eat it
 
Dark Marc said:
Can we make up stupid ones or do tehy HAVE to be real?
Click to expand...

You're not supposed to post label instructions. I just posted this list here because it made me lol. But, if you want, I suppose you can post new ones, but they have to be real.
 
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
If you someone is dumb enough to stop the chain with their genitals. Would you really to warn them?
 
The great thing is, I've tried most of these. Just Kidding. These are really funny. Thanks for that!
 
Actually with #2, our government requires those that aren't capable of buying the Doritos be able to win, so you're able to write in for entry. You'll find that that phrase appears all the time in such contests.

As for many of the others, it's because the companies have been sued or want to avoid a lawsuit. See this: http://www.allbusiness.com/legal/litigation/241710-1.html

Pathetic? Yes. But McDonalds paid out 2.9 Million Dollars for not warnings people their coffee is hot.
 
Yeah, these are funny, but obviously a necessary precaution against lawsuits.

dmaster out.
 
This reminds me of thise comercials when a guy jumps of a bridge and the commercial says do not attempt. Is it not obvious? Or those cheesy medicene commercials where they say "If you are experiencing vomiting, extreme pain, bleeding, cramping, iching, or lack of.. stuff, you May be experiencing some minor side effects.
 
Wow, people are STUPID! Why on earth would they be able to get sued for things that stupid people do? I mean, shouldn't those kind of retards me in some mental hospital?
 
Juliacoolo said:
This reminds me of thise comercials when a guy jumps of a bridge and the commercial says do not attempt. Is it not obvious? Or those cheesy medicene commercials where they say "If you are experiencing vomiting, extreme pain, bleeding, cramping, iching, or lack of.. stuff, you May be experiencing some minor side effects.
Click to expand...

That is as bad as Jeff Foxworthy's watery eyes medicine.
 
I think there was some scandel with Vending Machines.

"Do not shake or it will crush you." People die every year from that apparently.

dmaster out.
 
People tip over the machine towards them to try to get a free drink/snack. They sometimes lose control of it and it crushes them.
Note: If they succeed, the company loses profits.
Easiest way to try to combat this is to write something on the machine. Not very effective, though.
 
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