RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Zenith said:
Writing better luck next time
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RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Hatman...there is no way I can respond to that post you just made.
There are just no words to describe how disappointed I was in you, when I read that post.
It was almost as disappointing as when I read the contest entries.
You have managed to render me speechless with the sheer amount of audacity with which you displayed your failure to understand what was happening at any given time.
I am sorry if this post does not serve a purpose. But I hope that someone can understand this post, and why it needed to be said.
To add more meaning to this post, I predict that 10 will come in first. A lot of people seem to like it.
Hatman...there is no way I can respond to that post you just made.
There are just no words to describe how disappointed I was in you, when I read that post.
It was almost as disappointing as when I read the contest entries.
You have managed to render me speechless with the sheer amount of audacity with which you displayed your failure to understand what was happening at any given time.
I am sorry if this post does not serve a purpose. But I hope that someone can understand this post, and why it needed to be said.
To add more meaning to this post, I predict that 10 will come in first. A lot of people seem to like it.
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Ouch.
Here a my judgements:
1st Place: Author 1.
I found this really funny, and I enjoyed the twist in the plot. I think the cliff-hanger opens a lot of possiblilties for next round as well. Keep it up, Author 1!
2nd Place: Author 5.
I found this a great read, and the whole cheese thing was genius. The plot felt rushed though, as you introduced the villans very fast. Great job though! Also, are there any Pokemon in this?!
3rd Place: Author 8.
I really liked this, but it left something to be desired. Maybe more humour, or more shocking events. I hope this does well though, because I think your plot is great.
As for the rest of you, I expected more. Authors 2 and 6 need way more writing. There's a lot you can do with 500 words, and you should use them.
Authors 3 and 4 need better plot building, as well as better grammer. The story was hard to read, and felt rushed. Step it up.
A popular story i've noticed is Author 10's story. I like it a lot, but the story didn't fit the first paragraph. The story starts as a huge trek up a mountain, and you then introduced Vermillion City. Since when is Vermillion City on a big mountain? That is the only problem I had, other than the violence, which was a turn off. I hope you can do better.
I didn't critque 7, 9 or 11, because I don't want to give away my story. But all of these were good. I really like one of them, but not as much as my top 3.
For all of you who are weiners, stop being weiners. (Heres looking at you, Zenith.)
MylesPrower said:
Ouch.
Here a my judgements:
1st Place: Author 1.
I found this really funny, and I enjoyed the twist in the plot. I think the cliff-hanger opens a lot of possiblilties for next round as well. Keep it up, Author 1!
2nd Place: Author 5.
I found this a great read, and the whole cheese thing was genius. The plot felt rushed though, as you introduced the villans very fast. Great job though! Also, are there any Pokemon in this?!
3rd Place: Author 8.
I really liked this, but it left something to be desired. Maybe more humour, or more shocking events. I hope this does well though, because I think your plot is great.
As for the rest of you, I expected more. Authors 2 and 6 need way more writing. There's a lot you can do with 500 words, and you should use them.
Authors 3 and 4 need better plot building, as well as better grammer. The story was hard to read, and felt rushed. Step it up.
A popular story i've noticed is Author 10's story. I like it a lot, but the story didn't fit the first paragraph. The story starts as a huge trek up a mountain, and you then introduced Vermillion City. Since when is Vermillion City on a big mountain? That is the only problem I had, other than the violence, which was a turn off. I hope you can do better.
I didn't critque 7, 9 or 11, because I don't want to give away my story. But all of these were good. I really like one of them, but not as much as my top 3.
For all of you who are weiners, stop being weiners. (Heres looking at you, Zenith.)
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
THIS IS MY IDEA OF THE STORIES
1. I love the fact that it was a TV show. And how you have the clifhanger at the end. I also like who Misty is married and it the future because she had Babies. I wonder who is the husband (ASH!!!). I wonder ...
.
2. I didn't really get it. It was too short. But I like at the end you say the dad was flying off in a big bubble, so.
3. I like yours. Because out of all of them, I think yours took place in the past, and it really showed it becuase of it. But yoou also could this took place in the present to, so I liked it.
4. I liked it. It took place at Dragons Den, which in the games was in a cave. But you went and took it and placed it as if it was a big in a canyon souronded by clifs. I could just see the place in my head.
5. REALLY??? CHESSE??? It was funny, but it was very odd. It was like a mix of a Sci-Fi movie and chesse. weird
6. I like your Idea of catching a Salamence (which was shiny) and a hosatage villige. But it was short and could've gone on more.
7. It was very crative and remined me of Pokemon: Mystery Dungoen, but with Humans. Also, the boy Alex really gives of the sign "TENAGE BOY".
8. Ok, it was good. But i don't get it. Or they cops, or college kids?
9. That was really good. I like how that Pokemon was hust a story, but was a real world. It could be seeen to the ones with a pure heart. YOu could go far with this. Like, also people with hearts filled with evil could see pokemon to! Thats a idea you could go far with.
10. I loved it. I like how you had a villan in you story. In the Magna, Lt. Surge was a Team Rocket person. If he started the fire, I would love that. It would be a good read. That could be a whole new storie series.
11. IT was really good. You were the only person to use Huin city, and it was like the first pokemon episode with Officer jenny bringin Ash to the PC, and how a bad guy was there. But to really do this series, you need to know more about the Region and it's pokemon. So yes I liked it, but doing 1 scene pur chapter isn't going far. Whene I mean "scene" I mean that a 5 scentence paragraph is to short. It's a rally good Idea, but you will need to get more info.
I LOVED ALL THE STORIES!!!
And it was a tough dicesion.
For Third Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #9!!!.
For Second Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #3!!!
And for First Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #1!!!.
THIS IS MY IDEA OF THE STORIES
1. I love the fact that it was a TV show. And how you have the clifhanger at the end. I also like who Misty is married and it the future because she had Babies. I wonder who is the husband (ASH!!!). I wonder ...
.2. I didn't really get it. It was too short. But I like at the end you say the dad was flying off in a big bubble, so.
3. I like yours. Because out of all of them, I think yours took place in the past, and it really showed it becuase of it. But yoou also could this took place in the present to, so I liked it.
4. I liked it. It took place at Dragons Den, which in the games was in a cave. But you went and took it and placed it as if it was a big in a canyon souronded by clifs. I could just see the place in my head.
5. REALLY??? CHESSE??? It was funny, but it was very odd. It was like a mix of a Sci-Fi movie and chesse. weird
6. I like your Idea of catching a Salamence (which was shiny) and a hosatage villige. But it was short and could've gone on more.
7. It was very crative and remined me of Pokemon: Mystery Dungoen, but with Humans. Also, the boy Alex really gives of the sign "TENAGE BOY".
8. Ok, it was good. But i don't get it. Or they cops, or college kids?
9. That was really good. I like how that Pokemon was hust a story, but was a real world. It could be seeen to the ones with a pure heart. YOu could go far with this. Like, also people with hearts filled with evil could see pokemon to! Thats a idea you could go far with.
10. I loved it. I like how you had a villan in you story. In the Magna, Lt. Surge was a Team Rocket person. If he started the fire, I would love that. It would be a good read. That could be a whole new storie series.
11. IT was really good. You were the only person to use Huin city, and it was like the first pokemon episode with Officer jenny bringin Ash to the PC, and how a bad guy was there. But to really do this series, you need to know more about the Region and it's pokemon. So yes I liked it, but doing 1 scene pur chapter isn't going far. Whene I mean "scene" I mean that a 5 scentence paragraph is to short. It's a rally good Idea, but you will need to get more info.
I LOVED ALL THE STORIES!!!
And it was a tough dicesion.
For Third Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #9!!!.
For Second Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #3!!!
And for First Place, I voted for ... AUTHOR #1!!!.
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
I honestly struggled through these. They really sucked.
1. Secret Author
2. 7
3. 8
4. 9
I honestly struggled through these. They really sucked.
1. Secret Author
2. 7
3. 8
4. 9
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Lol sturtle, since when in the little paragraph does it say that they're trekking up a mountain? It says that they've just been walking for a while, and they'll see something after they get to the top of a 'hill'. Hill =/= mountain, last I checked.
Also way to spell grammar wrong and apparently now Zenith is a hot-dog of some sorts. (It's whiner.)
Oh yeah, I just critiqued a critique/judging post. What are you all gonna do about it?
Also, yeaaaah, we're kinda waiting on you and (maybe?) one other judge spazz...rofl, the entire point of this thread is to JUDGE.
Either way, I think that 1/5/8 have this in the bag.
Lol sturtle, since when in the little paragraph does it say that they're trekking up a mountain? It says that they've just been walking for a while, and they'll see something after they get to the top of a 'hill'. Hill =/= mountain, last I checked.
Also way to spell grammar wrong and apparently now Zenith is a hot-dog of some sorts. (It's whiner.)
Oh yeah, I just critiqued a critique/judging post. What are you all gonna do about it?
Also, yeaaaah, we're kinda waiting on you and (maybe?) one other judge spazz...rofl, the entire point of this thread is to JUDGE.
Either way, I think that 1/5/8 have this in the bag.
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Okay... Let's do this.
I does say the they were tired. It may not have said mountain, but they were tired. They mentioned a hill, which is not the entry to Vermillion. That is how it didn't match. The way the first paragraph was portrayed didn't match up with the way Author 10 introduced Vermillion City. It was my bad on the mountain part though, sorry.
I spelt grammar wrong. Big woop. That's a spelling mistake, not a grammar one. Thank's for pointing that out though, so I can fix it.
A Weiner, in my definition, is someone who acts in an arrogant manner, and is rude to other people. We use it all time in my family to avoid certain... other words.
I just replyed to a judging post. What are going to do about it?
Crystal Hikara said:Lol sturtle, since when in the little paragraph does it say that they're trekking up a mountain? It says that they've just been walking for a while, and they'll see something after they get to the top of a 'hill'. Hill =/= mountain, last I checked.
Also way to spell grammar wrong and apparently now Zenith is a hot-dog of some sorts. (It's whiner.)
Oh yeah, I just critiqued a critique/judging post. What are you all gonna do about it?
Also, yeaaaah, we're kinda waiting on you and (maybe?) one other judge spazz...rofl, the entire point of this thread is to JUDGE.
Either way, I think that 1/5/8 have this in the bag.
Okay... Let's do this.
I does say the they were tired. It may not have said mountain, but they were tired. They mentioned a hill, which is not the entry to Vermillion. That is how it didn't match. The way the first paragraph was portrayed didn't match up with the way Author 10 introduced Vermillion City. It was my bad on the mountain part though, sorry.
I spelt grammar wrong. Big woop. That's a spelling mistake, not a grammar one. Thank's for pointing that out though, so I can fix it.
A Weiner, in my definition, is someone who acts in an arrogant manner, and is rude to other people. We use it all time in my family to avoid certain... other words.
I just replyed to a judging post. What are going to do about it?
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
I love how you're trying so hard to hide the fact that you're the author for #8, Apollo.
#1: Creative license. 11, 8, and 10 all share the same 'up-on-a-hill' cliche introduction to a city. This cliche has been used several times in the anime as well, and given how Vermillion is at near sea-level, it could be stated that a hill is not all that improbable as an introduction.
#2: '...immediately the younger fell to her knees', so quotes the story. This could be from exhaustion coupled with shock. Also if my hometown was on fire and my family was down there, I'd be a lot less tired.
#3: When did I say that it was a grammar mistake? I didn't. Oh, and you spelled 'replied' wrong. ;D
#4: Lol weiner. That's all I have to say on this bit.
*The Writing Turnabout*
TAKE THAT!!
I love how you're trying so hard to hide the fact that you're the author for #8, Apollo.
sturtle said:
#1: Creative license. 11, 8, and 10 all share the same 'up-on-a-hill' cliche introduction to a city. This cliche has been used several times in the anime as well, and given how Vermillion is at near sea-level, it could be stated that a hill is not all that improbable as an introduction.
#2: '...immediately the younger fell to her knees', so quotes the story. This could be from exhaustion coupled with shock. Also if my hometown was on fire and my family was down there, I'd be a lot less tired.
#3: When did I say that it was a grammar mistake? I didn't. Oh, and you spelled 'replied' wrong. ;D
#4: Lol weiner. That's all I have to say on this bit.
*The Writing Turnabout*
TAKE THAT!!
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Point update!
Author1
07 - charidude
04 - Zenith
10 - sturtle
Author2
None
Author3
None
Author4
None
Author5
04 - dmaster
10 - Zenith
07 - sturtle
Author6
None
Author7
10 - Pokémaniac
Author8
10 - dmaster
07 - Zenith
04 - sturtle
04 - Pokémaniac
Author9
04 - charidude
04 - Pokémaniac
Author10
07 - dmaster
10 - charidude
Author11
None
Total:
25 points - Author #8
21 points - Author #1
21 points - Author #5
17 points - Author #10
10 points - Author #7
8 points - Author #9
Point update!
Author1
07 - charidude
04 - Zenith
10 - sturtle
Author2
None
Author3
None
Author4
None
Author5
04 - dmaster
10 - Zenith
07 - sturtle
Author6
None
Author7
10 - Pokémaniac
Author8
10 - dmaster
07 - Zenith
04 - sturtle
04 - Pokémaniac
Author9
04 - charidude
04 - Pokémaniac
Author10
07 - dmaster
10 - charidude
Author11
None
Total:
25 points - Author #8
21 points - Author #1
21 points - Author #5
17 points - Author #10
10 points - Author #7
8 points - Author #9
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Crud. Can I post my story next round?
Crud. Can I post my story next round?
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Can you hurry up and judge please? I want the next round.
Can you hurry up and judge please? I want the next round.
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
Sorry, I thought that I was to PM the results to PMJ, amd not to reveal all of the votes. Sorry, I fixed the post so it says who I voted for.
Zyflair said:
Sorry
, I thought that I was to PM the results to PMJ, amd not to reveal all of the votes. Sorry, I fixed the post so it says who I voted for.
RE: Unfinished Page II (Voting, first round)
I'm dropping out. This writing tournament has become a huge disappointment. The entries (mine included) were generally underpar and some of the judges aren't even paying attention one of the important parts of the story: spelling and grammar.
Zyflair, I cannot wait for the next one (hopefully).
I'm dropping out. This writing tournament has become a huge disappointment. The entries (mine included) were generally underpar and some of the judges aren't even paying attention one of the important parts of the story: spelling and grammar.
Zyflair, I cannot wait for the next one (hopefully).
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