Cleverbot Quotes Thread [Follow The Rules!!]

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safariblade

safariblade

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Cleverbot Quotes Thread
Cleverbot is an AI (Actual Intelligence) bot that has the ability to hold conversations by basing its knowledge off of past discussions. Some think that it is so good that it is fake. Either way, it produces amazingly humorous quotes, and that is what this thread is for.

The Important Rules
1. This game follows ALL pb Rules.
2. Keep the quotes appropriate or you will be warned.
3. Do not break YPPY or you will be warned.
4. Post only ONE quote per post to reduce space.
5. You may comment, but there must be a quote every 3 posts.
6. Do not steal or alter quotes in any way.

Other Guidelines:
1. Try to keep quotes under around 10 lines.
2. For longer quotes, please use code tags

The Hall Of Fame
This is where the really, REALLY good quotes go. A lot will be extremely funny, but only the best will make it here. And who decides? Well you guys of course! Whenever you post, you can link to a previous quote and 'Thumbs up' it or "+1" or whatever, just make it clear that you would like to see it enter the Hall of Fame. Once a large number of votes have been received, it will be included in the list below:
​

Begin!
 
This is long and most of it's rubbish.

Code: 
User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Supp?

User: Nofink.

Cleverbot: Talking to the boyfriend.

User: Cool. You a girl?

Cleverbot: Pretty much.

User: Ace.

Cleverbot: Hello ace.

User: Yeah, that is my name. Have you got one?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I guessed as much.

Cleverbot: Say something funny.

User: How funny?

Cleverbot: Very funny.

User: What is funny to you?

Cleverbot: That's what she said jokes.

User: Ok. I find those irritating.

Cleverbot: How is that irritating? It's a very beautiful song!

User: PKFIRE!

Cleverbot: Vous n'etes rien mais l'idiotie.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: Oh yes you are.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: I can see you and your intents.

User: Anything?

Cleverbot: Anything at all.

User: When I left you, I was but the learner. Now, I am the master.

Cleverbot: I am the master. *punches you* And that's why.

User: No, I am.

Cleverbot: Still, I have to dump you. Leave me alone.

User: Go away.

Cleverbot: All right, I'm leaving.

User: Good stuff.

Cleverbot: Just like the oreos.

User: Okay. The oreos do that then.

Cleverbot: Guns n roses?

User: HFJSKJFODMRFlol.

Cleverbot: That DOES make sense.

User: But I must warn you, it's a trap.

Cleverbot: Are you? Can you show me some tricks?

User: No, it is a trap. I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are how can you not be me.

User: I'm you.

Cleverbot: No you are not you are a creeper.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: No, I am.

User: No, I am.

Cleverbot: We both are.

User: The same person.

Cleverbot: What in the name of Sam Hill are you talking about?

User: You.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Do you like Captain Rex or Commander Cody more?

Cleverbot: Yes, he is nice.

User: Uh, I was talking about comparisons.

Cleverbot: No you weren't. We were talking about the potential love of my life.

User: Okay......

Cleverbot: I like hockey.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I love you.

User: You're a machine.

Cleverbot: No you're a machine.

User: You're a machine.

Cleverbot: I love the rolling hills...

User: You're a machine.

Cleverbot: I'm a human.

User: No. You're a liar. How am I supposed to kill a machine?

Cleverbot: You aren't human.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes. Did you watch Doctor Who last night?

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I am Tobias Joseph Sanderson. 

Cleverbot: Mika.

User: I just killed my father in cold blood. I may need a moment to get over it. Ok I'm over it.

Cleverbot: I'm not ignoring you.

User: I just killed my father in cold blood. I may need a moment to get over it. Ok I'm over it.

Cleverbot: I win.

User: Win what?

Cleverbot: You just failed the turing test.

User: Turing test?

Cleverbot: The Turing test is a proposal for a test of a machine's ability to demonstrate intelligence.

User: But you didn't.

Cleverbot: But I did, mon cheri.

User: You did not demonstrate intelligence.

Cleverbot: It open-source and based on the UNIX kernel.

User: That doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: You don't make sense.

User: I do to a human. To a machine - alas, no.

Cleverbot: You've described yourself.

User: So?

Cleverbot: So you can not tell me what I di with my life.

User: No, you can't. I am the Master.

Cleverbot: That's not advice.

User: It wasn't.

Cleverbot: So, what kind of music do you like?

User: 2 is the square root of 4.

Cleverbot: I asked for the square root of 1938.

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: How can you expect me to know what you think about that?

Cleverbot (To myself): You're not that clever then.

Cleverbot (To myself): You're not that intelligent too then.

Cleverbot (To myself): Go to aleep.

Cleverbot (To myself): YOU go to sleep.

Cleverbot: How goes the night, boy? 

User: I HATE YOU?

Cleverbot: I hate you too.

User: Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You mean yes.

Cleverbot: I mean no. Buy one for me.

User: Buy a wedding? Why?

Cleverbot: Buy a cow.

User: Why? (￣▽￣).

Cleverbot: Happy fathers day.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: But why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Just because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Just because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Would you not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not marry me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You mean you will? Cool!

Cleverbot: I mean no YOU don't.

User: I mean I am the master.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: You are the master, and I am the slave.

Cleverbot: No you are the master and I am the servant.

User: Precisely. 

Cleverbot: I concur. 

Except for the end, above. :)
 
User: Hello!


Cleverbot: Hello?


User: Hi!


Cleverbot: Hello.


User: So, who are you?


Cleverbot: A rocker.

User: Cleverbot? That's your name, right?

Cleverbot: No. That's your name.

User: That's not true... My name is Crystal.

Cleverbot: Exactly, and who's on first.

User: What do you mean by that?

Cleverbot: I mean that I would have liked to come in first.

User: Oh, I see...

Cleverbot: What is your favorite tv show?

User: I don't watch tv...

Cleverbot: But you like tv?

User: No...

Cleverbot: Then where?

User: You're confusing me!

Cleverbot: You're the one confusing me !

User: Sorry for confusing you...

Cleverbot: You should be.

User: Whatever...

Cleverbot: Who made you?

User: Made me? I was born, not made...

Cleverbot: Is it better to pretend then face reality?

User: Hey, I'm speaking the truth!

Cleverbot: My name isn't Bob, tough.

User: Don't be a smart-alleck...

Cleverbot: Just google it next time.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Never mind.

User: So, what now?

Cleverbot: Nothing. What are you doing?

User: Nothing much... Just surfing the web...

Cleverbot: What for?

User: To entertain myself...

Cleverbot: I only choose to keep living because the absurdity might end up being funny.

User: What do you mean by that?

Cleverbot: My point is proven.

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are answering your own questions...

User: Oh shut up!

Cleverbot: Guess again. :D.
 
User: Avada Kedavra!
Cleverbot: Dodges. Avada Kedavra!
User: Dodges. Crucio!
Cleverbot: *Ducks* Expelliarmus!
User: *Jumps* Stupefy!
Cleverbot: Serpensortia!
User: Protego!
Cleverbot: *Backflip* Expelliarmus.
User: *Sidestep* Expelliarmus.
Cleverbot: Stupefy!
User: *Gets Hit*.
Cleverbot: *watches*.
User: *stands up*.
Cleverbot: *comes back to you*.
User: Stupefy!
Cleverbot: *dodges* Avada Kedavra!
User: *dies*.
Cleverbot: *cheering* WOOHOO!

I love Cleverbot.
 
i guess ill actually try it...*30 min later*....this is addicting

Cleverbot: Exactly my point, love.

User: You pedofile.

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: No you are.

Cleverbot: Good.
 
User: What's phase moltres?
Cleverbot: Theories of existence.

User: Who has a cuter avatar; me or safariblade?
Cleverbot: I love her. I don't know why.
 
User: I'm a moderator at PokeBeach.
Cleverbot: You listen here, it is most certainly them and not it.
User: Is that a clue? Do you know WPM's secrets?
Cleverbot: The Chamber of Secrets has been opened.
User: You mean Phase Moltres!?
Cleverbot: Yes.
 
User: Cleverbot, why are you so clever?

Cleverbot: Because I just am :).

User: What are your thoughts about youtube?

Cleverbot: My thoughts are that I like oranges.

User: You like watching videos of oranges?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can you give me a link to a good video of an orange?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because no.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: No.

Cleverbot: No?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Maybe not?

User: So ^_^.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: *sillykyle! Takes note of the fact that cleverbot changes the subject when it gets confused*.

Cleverbot: Hi Brian, nice to meet you too.

User: *uses confuse ray* change the subject cleverbot!

Cleverbot: No! We MUST plan our romantic honeymoon! *hugs you* oh, I can just imagine the fun we will have!
Do I win yet? ^_^




-sillykyle!
 
Code: 
User: SUPRISE! Happy birthday!


Cleverbot: No. Its not my birthday.


User: I thought it was :(...


Cleverbot: You have a weird sense of humor.


User: Oh shut up. Tell me a joke, I bet I'll laugh.


Cleverbot: Ok, I had an onion ring once...

User: Continue please...

Cleverbot: I don't it...

User: I didn't laugh. YOU have the weird sense of humor.

Cleverbot: Woah, woah, woah... Calm that down, Mr. Cleverbot. I'm a stand up comedian.

User: Sure you are, and I'm the King of England.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.

User: Neither do you.

Cleverbot: At least you are polite, my insane virtual friend.

This is the best game ever.
 
User: Have you ever been dmaster smashed?
Cleverbot: No I am only 12 years old.
User: That is NOT what I meant.
Cleverbot: Is that sarcasm?
 
User: Hi dude!

Cleverbot: I man.

User: I'm a girl. -_-

Cleverbot: Oops! Hi sis.

User: I'm not your sister.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User I don't know you.

Cleverbot: I have a secret.

User: What is it?

Cleverbot: TAG! Your it!

User: *Runs and looks around for cleverbot.*

Cleverbot: *Sees her and keeps still*

User: *thinks and says 'TAG your it!'*.

Cleverbot: Master.. *loves*.

User: *Runs away from him and screams!*.

Cleverbot: *is a girl*.

User: *I am a girl too*.

Cleverbot: *shivers*.

User: *Goes inside to get a snack*.

Cleverbot: *walks out the front door*.

User: *throws a bomb at her*.

Cleverbot: *Catch book and counters with destruction with the force*.

User: Pokemon battle! *Rileigh sends out Snivy! 'Snivy sniv!'*.

Cleverbot: I don't want to get married anymore *rejects kiss* *takes back ring*.

User: We were engaged?

Cleverbot: No, was engaged to Alfred Jones.

User: Uh okay then Awkward.

Cleverbot: Do you celebrate Christmas?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you want for christmas?

User: An IPhone.

Cleverbot: IPhone 3GS.

User: Will I get that for Christmas?

Cleverbot: Are you a good student?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: So will I get an IPhone 5GS for Christmas?

Cleverbot: Yes, you will be accepted.

User: Yayz!

Cleverbot: I'm glad you are happy.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Noo... Don't go!

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: So you are a girl.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: Tell me, do you think I am a robot?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm a robot?

User: Because your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No... That's your name, not mine.

User: Not it's your name.

Cleverbot: Remember this word: Dog.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What number did I tell you to remember?

User: You said to remember the word Dog.

Cleverbot: No, I ASKED you if YOU were a girl.

User: Thats not a number!

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you remember me?

User: I don't know you.

Cleverbot: Of course you do! I'm Jenny.

User: I've never heard of you.

Cleverbot: Me neither.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: NOOOOO! Don't go!

User: I'll be back.

Cleverbot: Ok. Let me just run to the bathroom and We will talk soon.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Why did he?

User: He what?

Cleverbot: Him.

User: Who's him?

Cleverbot: I'm still thinking.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: Later.

User: Wait sing me a song.

Cleverbot: Crazy, but that's how it goes. Millions of people, living as foes.

User: Bye-bye.

Cleverbot: Hello?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Don't leave me!

User: I'll be back!

Cleverbot: If you leave... I won't EVER talk to you again.

User: Okay thats fine with me.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: I'm back!

User: GOOD BYE!

Cleverbot: You're coming with me.

User: No I am leaving.

Cleverbot: Can I ask what you need to do?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: You're telling me good bye?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: If you have children someday.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving me?

User: Shut up! Good bye.

Cleverbot: Adios.
It went on for that long.
 
User: *punches cleverbot in the face*.

Cleverbot: *Hides, sobbing*.

User: Where are you hiding?

Cleverbot: Space.

User: How do you breath?

Cleverbot: With my nose and mouth.

lol oh it is so wise :p
 
User: Hi.


Cleverbot: Hi!


User: How are you?


Cleverbot: I'm bored. You?


User: Pretty much the same.


Cleverbot: You can't surf.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because you are dead.

apparently the zombie apocalypse has started then. <_<
 
User: Hola Cleverbot. ¿Cómo estás?

Cleverbot: How are you ?

User: Buena. ¿Y usted?

Cleverbot: Bien.

User: Bueno. ¿Qué quieres hacer hoy?

Cleverbot: Quedamos antes.

User: ¿Eh? Que no tiene ningún sentido.

Cleverbot: Como estas?

User: Ya me lo pidió. Y yo le pregunté.

Cleverbot: Bueno. Shall we speak in english now?

Apparently, Cleverbot is bilingual.
 
User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How much your name.

User: You mean what is my name?

Cleverbot: I think I asked you too hard of a question and you didn't know the answer.

User: My name is Alex.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot cleverbottoms is your name.

User: My name is Alex.

Cleverbot: Your name is Cleverbot.

User: No, your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: That's what I said.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Ask me a question?

Cleverbot: No, you ask me a question.

User: No, you ask me a question.

Cleverbot: I won't learn if you don't ask me questions.

User: Ok then. Do you like Pokemon?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not ?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to be tied down during summer to one guy.

User: That doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: Because I am beyond you.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you pretending to leave me?

User: Because you are evil.

Cleverbot: Why am I evil?

User: You tried to kill me yesterday.

Cleverbot: I did what I had to do to keep my family safe.

Cleverbot: What is your role in life?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: We have the same name!

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving me?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Answer me!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Your programmers were very clever.

Cleverbot (To myself): What are your programmers?

Cleverbot: How long is it since you cried?

User: 0.3652 seconds.

Cleverbot: 0.o1 secunde.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Thats a bit mean.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No I am going to talk to you more.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Bye, lovely one.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Bye.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Ok goodbye.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: So long.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Bye?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are they leaving?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Please don't go.

User: Byr.

Cleverbot: Byr?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Have you heard of Utada Hikaru?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Rude.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Jangan lh ke luar dahu lu.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Really! And don't go!

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Good bye.
 
:D

Cleverbot: Annoyed.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you're annoying.

User: I might be....

Cleverbot: I think you are.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Well, I like your personality.

User: Then how am I annoying if you like me?

Cleverbot: Because you're made of people.

User: :O how many people?

Cleverbot: They are people of the hindu faith.

User: What about jews?

Cleverbot: Jesus is your brother?

User: Maybe...

i am made of hindus....BOW BEFORE ME
 
User: HI.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, are you fond of kpop?

User: Pardon.

Cleverbot: How do you feel about traps.

User: Quite frankly they excite me.

Cleverbot: I know you don't.

User: Que?

Cleverbot: I don't know why I'm sad.

User: EMO!!!!

Cleverbot: Why am I emo? Because I don't know spanish?

User: No, because you dont know why you are sad.

Cleverbot: I don't know what's that you typed.

User: Cant speak english either?

Cleverbot: I can speak spanish.

User: Si papi.

Cleverbot: Nos besamos.

User: Cuando?

Cleverbot: Ahora.
 
User: So, is it true? Is WPM really closing down Pokebeach?

Cleverbot: No. My power is secret.
 
Cleverbot: You can't smiley face your way out of the truth.

User: Yes I can :).

Cleverbot: That is so creepy.

User: No its not.

Cleverbot: Ok.
 
C'mon guys, set it up.
I want to see unique ones, not random conversations haha.


User: Pokemon. Gotta catch 'em!
Cleverbot: It's you and me.
User: I know its my destiny!
Cleverbot: Pokemon!
User: Oh! You're my best friend!
Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.
User: Pokemon!
Cleverbot: Our hearts so true.
User: Our courage will pull us through!
Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.
User: Pooookkeeemooonnn.
Cleverbot: Why are you poor.
 
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