Eevees Search (An Eeveelution Story) PG-13?

bonsly1994

Croagunk, one of the faithful
Member
I'm going to write most up later. So...

[Rumbling in bushes nearby] Eevees eyes go wide. It shuts it's eyes and keeps chanting to itself, "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real!" [The rumbling of the bushes gets closer] Eevees starts to chant louder, "It's not real, IT'S NOT REAL!" [The rumbling stops] Eevee opens it eyes, "PHWAM!" Eevee gets struck in the head by something. It lays there, heavily breathing, blood oozing from it's wound. Coughing up blood. It's eyes barely open, a dark shadow poured a blanket over the Eevee. Eevee feinted then and there...

[Wheezing heard] Eevee wakes up. "Uh... my head..." it opens it eyes. Everythings blurry. [Breathing deeply, Eevee tried to sit up] It lay there, "where am I?" "Shut up, be still" says a shadowed figure. "Ahhhhhh!!!" Eevee yelled in this confined room. The strange thing injected something into him via a shot. "What are y... what ar... wha... w..." [Eevee blacks out again] ~ [2 days later] "Wha!" Eevee woke up in a stir. "What! I can't see, what's happened"...
"Whoah there. Don't be so antsy. You've taken quite a blow to your nogen there. Ya got hit so ahrd, you lost your sight." says an old Kangaskahn. "Who attacked me, why did I..." Eevee gets interrupted. "Enough with your questions. You were captured by the _____. They took you as a lab rat. No one has ever went there and come back alive, except for you, and one other pokemon. Who knows who broke you out of there, but you best pray, you're very lucky."
"Lab rat?" [Sits up] "AHHHHH!!!! My leg. What's wrong?" - "Looks like they probed you. Probably with a new test they're doing." says he Kangaskahn. [Pokes the spot, bllod squirts out] "Ow." says Eevee." With a new project probably....."

To be continued

The characters:

Finish later tonight.
 
I hope that's not the format the story is going to be written in, because, in my humble opinion, the sort of scripted feel of it makes it very blunt to read. You've broken the golden rule: show, don't tell.
 
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