Writing Furroshi: The Story of Wolves

Dia

Aspiring Trainer
Member
Okay, so I had to write this for school as a story, and I figured I'd post it here, just because
Warning: May contain minor language and/or content inappropriate for children under the age of 12-13.
This is the entire story, although I will make a seperate second book of this. Please take notice of the fact there may be character deaths in other chapters, and I'll try to tone those down.
I'll make a couple of new chapters every day.

Furoshi

Chapter one
“Ah, the Memories”
I had been caught mending my wounds after a deer attacked me, without clear reason. It had lied there in a bloody silence, its fur caked with flesh. The misty forest had surrounded me, the white vapor having a salty tang. I figured something was wrong, so I started to depart, without all of my wounds covered. The oxygen breathed into me, and a bitterly cold wind weakened my legs, so I sat down. I rested for a couple of minutes, on the comfort of fresh-fallen leaves, the vegetation rubbing off its green glow on my freshly-opened wound. I got off of my bottom long enough to see, through the white mist, a couple of members of the pack, sniffing everything violently, taking in every scent of the vivid green landscape. I darted around a tree and hid myself from the onyx colored wolfs, and the scent of flesh made them on top of the forest. One growled around where I had last been. Then I realized it. Dammit! Footprints! The grass was matted with blood, and I couldn’t do anything but run. Run for my life.
I darted from tree to tree, trying desperately to spread my scent as a diversion. The wolves were befuddled, but not completely off my trail. One found a drop of my flesh and picked up on the scent. I padded through the shadows, slowed down by the wounds on my legs. I rested under a tree after I escaped the paper white fog, even more slogged by the excruciatingly bright sun. The shade of the tree was comforting, and I found a small bird pecking around a low branch. ‘A nice snack’ I thought excitedly. How long had it been since I ate? 4 days? Counting the days I had previously been in captivity due to killing a small bird, 8. This would surely get me exiled from the pack. Oh well, it was time for a change.
I heard a rustle in the bushes, and I literally jumped. I slumped down onto my stomach from the pain in my leg. I heard low voices. Humans. Just what I needed. I hated the very smell of them. So I continued to lay in a tired heap in the cool shade, my eyelids heavy. Another rustle sounded, and I found I was right. There were humans. The who-I-hope-to-be-damned kind. I stood there with a pistol pointing at my head.

Chapter Two
“The Hall of The Mice”
“I growled at the beings, baring my teeth as if to say “Stay away, you idiots,” yet they still stood there smirking. They circled me, gun pointed. “This one, maybe twenty or thirty bucks.” Said one in a deep, rich southern accent, “Meh… perhaps ten, at the very least,” said the other. She had slicked back blonde hair, waving and curly. The human wore a silky velvet dress, very inconvenient for hunting. Her dress obviously was farther down then she would have liked it when she slapped the man next to her, catching him staring blankly. She had a perfect hourglass figure, and had smooth tan skin. Obviously they were out here unintentionally or just decided to be idiots by wearing fancy clothes. The man had short black hair, and a districting curl, somewhat like Elvis, on the front of his head. They were quite wet, carried several wolf pelts, and a bloody backpack which looked like it had been in a war. A gunshot sounded and I felt a severe pain in my front right leg. I blacked out.
““Grr…” I growled when I came to. Damn, I felt warm blood dispersing from all my legs. I couldn’t get up. I was sure I would die of blood loss. I saw other wolves in the plain room, with white walls and a small broken window. The plaster had cracked, so mice came in and out of holes, feeding on the food given to us, which were full rations for mice and rats, but barely table scraps to wolves. When a mouse tried to take my food, I bit off its leg, and it stumbled onto the ground. A bloody mass flowed onto the floor, and I finished off the surprisingly tasty mouse. Mosquitoes buzzed around my wounds, devouring my blood heartily, not only making me angrier, but leaving my itching all over.
The door slammed open and a petty argument about “Who gets the money” began. Eventually annoyed, one of the other healthier wolves bit the same royally dressed girl’s foot, causing her to bleed viciously. In a single shot to the head the wolf was dead, and paramedics rushed to the scene. The fresh flesh made my mouth water, that meaty goodness of well fed humans. Mmm… another slam of the door sounded, which woke me from my mouth-watering dream. Bam! A gunshot retaliated across the walls and shattered a mouse. A black, hooded figure paced into the room. Sweat dripped from his pores, and he ran and swung out the window. Police darted around the room, freeing us from our chains. They found the man, hanging on for dear life at the ledge of the building. The brick cracked, and the police put up no effort to help him. I darted around, eating mice heartily. When the cops finally caught the man, they said “You’re under arrest for third degree attempted murder, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and assault on a police officer.”
“What…?”
"You heard me.”
“B-but I didn’t know I didn’t know that was against the law, no one ever told me…”
“Uh…”
“I’d seen this kind of thing many times. I bit the guys leg softly to make him stop, and he did. “DAMMIT!!! BAD DOG!!!!” he cried. I bit him again. And again. And again. And again. Until he stopped, I continued to bite him softly. He had a few holes in his leg, but nothing some medical cream and bandages wouldn’t fix. I did my best to give a winking look to the officer, but that’s hard for a wolf, and he didn’t even see me.
Chapter Three
“Home Again… or Not!”
“An animal control officer had me in the back of his car, and I constantly pawed at the mysterious vehicle, wondering what was happening. I tried to get up on feet, but fell again and again. Finally, the door swung open and I jumped out. My wounds had been bandaged and were healing, plus I got a salmon after being illegally locked up in the prison cell by a troubled officer. Not that I needed it, but it is comfort food to a wolf.
“I was taken back to a forest foreign to my senses. I must have traveled far, for I could recognize not a scent. I found a small pack of wolves, and barked to get their attention. They immediately jumped at me, re-opening my wounded leg. I fought back at their rapid blows, but it wasn’t enough. Four against one is not a fair fight. When they had me pinned to the ground, the mother of the pack desisted from her sharp bites. She recognized me as a wolf, and told her children to stop. Her onyx fur was very different from my paper white fuzz, so she figured I was foreign. I lived with their family for a while, and even had my own pups with another named Okami. “Furoshi, c’mon,” she growled to me as our pups played in the nearby stream. My name was Furoshi now, I suppose. I couldn’t even remember my last one… I submerged in the icy cold liquid, and came up with a nice large catfish in my jaws. My pups, Krim and Grrick, ran to the fish with a hungry look in their eyes. “Dig in,” I said to the two of them. I splashed into the water and came up with two smaller catfish, for me and Okami. “Let’s eat,” I said in a hearty voice. And that’s the story of how I came here,” I said to Krim ad Grrick. They stood there wide eyed.
“Wow,” said Grrick, “Is that really true?”
“Yes,” I said to the wolf pack assembled. I was the new leader. ”Yes, it is.”
Epilogue
A shadow loomed over the oasis, bringing many looks of disbelief. A large aircraft splattered mud and residue all over the trees and mucked up the water. I searched the wreckage for any clue of existence beneath the burning plane, and stumbled across Krim’s favorite watery, bitten-to-pieces bone. It was charred, and then I heard Grrick howling. I pawed through the bloody, mucky what-used-to-be a oasis, and found a wolf’s body. I rushed over, breathless. Krim was lying there, eyes half closed. I picked him up and bolted over to the herbs we kept for wounds. I smothered him with healing herbs, and he opened his eyes. I sighed in relief. He was really okay, my son was okay. He then leaped over to the door, and I barely caught him by the back. I spat him out, then cleaned off the hair in my mouth. “What are you doing!?” I cried at him in wonder
“Huh? Going to go see how Mom and Grrick are doing. I feel fine, why was I even in here?” He asked.
“You were just found in plane wreckage, hanging on to life by a thread! Come here, you need to stay,”
“C’mon Dad, I feel fine,”
“No. No going out there. What if there’s another one of those planes? What are you going to do then? You’d really get yourself killed,” I said to discontinue the argument.
I found Okami over with Grrick, searching the wreckage for something that is of use. “Our homes are gone,” said Okami. Secretly, I agreed, but I can’t get down the pups’ hopes.
“Oh, I don’t know, we have to find a little bit,” I said in an optimistic tone. She gave me a interesting look, one I could not decode. There was another wolf, but not a pack hound, a real, top-of-the-vicious-notch wolf. He jumped at my pups, and I hurled myself in front of them.

Furoshi and the Battle for Dru’yak

Prologue

I smashed my paw in the wolf’s face, causing him to stumbled backwards and lose his balance. I jumped on the chance to pin him to the ground. The beast slashed at my stomach, causing the air to be blown out of me. The wolf had taken out one leg, and I was now fighting on three. I jumped in the air as the wolf head butted, which caused him to slam into a tree and fall unconscious. I got my first real look at the animal. He had magenta fur, which I thought was blood in the blur. His aqua blue eyes shone as he opened them, and he lifted up his yellow-padded magenta legs to signal surrender. ‘What an odd beast,’ I thought ‘How is that fur, those pads, those eyes even possible?’ I saw the surrender in his eyes. “Come,” I said, “And tell me why you attacked my pups."
 
The Tab button doesn't work here, so add spaces instead to indent.

Otherwise, this isn't bad at all. The descriptive tone is pretty good here. Note though, you may tend to use "I" a little too much, even if you're writing in first person.

As a format tip, bolden and underline your Chapter titles for separation. Last, either write "Chapter 1" and "Chapter 2" or "Chapter One" and "Chapter Two."

Sorry if I'm a bit picky, but you're really doing well.
 
Okay, thanks for your advice. I'll do those things ^_^
EDIT: I changed the Epilogue so it made more sense ^_^
 
Nice story overall (though I feel that Okami is a stolen name). I'm waiting for the next chapters.
 
Okami's a stolen name? I'll write up some more chapters.
EDIT: Done. I think it's kinda short and boring, but it is a prologue.
 
^ Okami, a video game from Wii based off a Japanese Sun Goddess legend in the form of a large wolf, with awesome powers.
 
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