Writing Jay's Johto Journey - It's back! New chapters added!

YakobTheRed

Blarghargharghargh!
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OK, I've gone back and ripped out the Donphan/Gym bit for now, it's screwing with my chronology. So yeah, the story starts just below, follow it in the correct order by simply scrolling down! :D

So, I'm starting from the beginning now, enjoy!
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It was one of those awkward tearful farewells, where only one party is tearful and the other is perfectly fine but is having to act slightly sad to prevent awkwardness and further upset. Jay was almost out of the door of his house, but despite having said his goodbyes in the hallway, his mother had caught him once again and was busily engulfing him, repeating advice that she felt was important. Luckily, Jay, like most other teenagers, was blessed with the power of selective hearing.

“… and do make sure you have plenty to eat, and don’t sleep outdoors in the rain, and if there’s a really big fierce Pokémon looking angry don’t try to capture it just run away and…”

And Jay phased out again, watching a Pidgey swoop away from a redwood tree after which his town was named. Subconsciously noticing a lull in the one-woman conversation, he phased back in again with a suitably ambiguous “don’t worry, I’ll be fine, it’ll be fun.” Snorting on a tissue with a boathorn-esque honk, his mother sniffed and wiped her eyes, smiling proudly but sadly. She was loath to let Jay go “gallivanting around the world chasing a dream”, but she had long known that she would be powerless to stop him.

So it was that today, the day after his fifteenth birthday (the coming-of-age age in Johto), he was setting out on his Pokémon journey (although Jay personally thought that “Gallivanting around the world chasing a dream” sounded equally cool). Finally extricating himself from his mother’s hug, he adjusted his rucksack on his back, said his goodbyes once more, and left home. He didn’t look back, partly for dramatic effect, and partly because he knew that his mother would be standing on the step clutching a tissue and waving it feebly.

Heading through town to the outskirts of Redwood Forest, Jay made his way to professor Redwood, who lived in a spectacular treehouse fashioned around five giant redwood trees from which he had taken his professional name. He was fairly well-known around Johto, but not just for his studies into the interaction between wild Pokémon and their environments, but for also being a bit on the crazy side. Well, more eccentric, they said. But then, who wouldn’t be, living, working and sleeping in a tree? Jay had only met him once or twice, and only ever briefly. Still, he was an official Professor, and was as such held in high regard. The people of Redwood town were pleased to have him, and he in turn got on well with the inhabitants when he occasionally left the forest.

Arriving now at the bottom of a particularly large tree, Jay saw the sign that had been nailed to it at about his height. It featured a large arrow that pointed upwards and to the right, so Jay followed it in the suggested direction, and came to the beginnings of a spiralling staircase that wound its way up through the foliage above. Excitement mounting, he leapt up them, already picturing receiving his starter Pokémon and Pokédex. After five minutes and several steps, he was panting heavily, and slowed to a walk as he regained his breath. Another two minutes of walking had finally brought him to the top of the staircase, and Jay stopped and stared in awe at the building in front of him. He’d expected some kind of glorified hut complex, but instead, he saw a complex of glistening metal and glass, with verandas here and there. It seemed to blend in with its surroundings, all curves and gliding slopes, but at the same time, it was clearly a separate entity to the subtle greens and browns of the forest it inhabited.

Standing on the veranda at the top of the stairs, Jay took a moment to get his breath, and gazed around the magnificent view in amazement. Suddenly, he became aware that he was being watched, Turning, he made eye contact with a large Noctowl that was standing on a perch by the glass door a few feet away. It hooted, piercing the silence of the forest, and tilted its head at Jay, who found himself unconsciously mimicking it. Noctowl’s great amber eyes were focused on Jay staring at him with such intensity that he could scarcely remember what he was doing or why he was in a forest. In fact, he was beginning to feel quite tired…

Locked in a stare with the Noctowl, Jay heard the hiss of a door and approaching footsteps as if they were miles away, and only came to his senses when the man called out “Noctowl, that’s enough! Sorry about him Jay, he’s a bit of a nuisance when he sees a stranger… aren’t you? Yes, you are.”

“Hello Professor, I’ve come about starting my Journey” was all Jay could really manage, suddenly exhausted by the tangle with Noctowl’s hypnotic stare.

“Yes indeed! Well, in you come – not you Noctowl, stay! – and we can get things sorted. Follow me! Oh wait… you are Jay, aren’t you? Yes, I recognise the eyebrows, you have your mother’s eyebrows… well come on in then.” And back inside he strolled, leaving a considerably bewildered Jay to follow him hurridly. The lab’s interior was more of the same – metal and glass, but with dark green carpet and bright white lights on the ceiling above. Leading him past closed doors and round corners, Redwood kept up a constant stream of rushed, babbling talk.

“So if you’ll keep following me, not too far, we can get you a dex and choose a starter, I have all three in at the moment so it’s good, alright here we are, in here, the nerve centre of my little complex, just avoid the wires, and those papers, and oh dear me are those feathers, how did they get in here and ooh, be careful, don’t touch those, it took me ages to find them after I lost them last week, turns out they were in the pocket of my other labcoat the whole time, funny how things turn out like that isn’t it, now if you’ll just excuse me I’ll fetch you a blank dex and the starters and that kind of thing”.

And he bustled off out of the room, still talking rapidly, leaving Jay to look around the room with interest. One wall was taken up by computers and assorted peripherals, including a mousemat shaped like a Snorlax, for some reason. Connected to the computers by several thick cables was a complicated looking machine that featured circular cutouts, presumably for Pokéballs. Jay guessed that it was a Pokéball transferring machine. Shelves and shelves of books occupied another wall, along with sheaves of paper, covered in the professor’s messy handwriting and amazingly detailed sketches. There was a large desk next the shelves, taking up another wall. It was amazingly messy, and Jay leaned closer to see if he could spot any desk under all the paper and books. The final wall wasn’t so much a wall as a giant window, which had a small balcony on the outside, with a commanding view of the surrounding forest.

The professor returned, carrying what looked like a platter over to the desk. As he set it down, Jay saw that it carried three Pokéballs, each in the centre of a third of the platter. Each third was decorated with red flames, blue water, or green grass patterns. Reaching into the pocket of his labcoat, he withdrew a dark blue item, about the size and thickness of Jay’s hand. Passing it to him, Redwood said “Here you are then, your Pokédex. I hope the colour’s alright, it’s all I’ve got, but anyway, flip it up, fill in the things it tells you to fill in on the touchscreen, and then I’ll do the technical bits.”

Jay took the device, and felt with surprise that it was lighter than he’d expected. Locating the seam in the dex, Jay opened it carefully, and when he did, the screen lit up and displayed the words: WELCOME! (Touch Screen to Continue) Touching the screen delicately, nothing happened. He tried again, but still no response from the dex. “Umm…”

The professor looked up from a computer. “Put a little force into it. Those things are rugged, and built to last. They’d have to be, letting kids take them out into the world, eh?” Chuckling, he returned to typing, and Jay pressed the screen with more force. The display changed, adding a QWERTY keyboard and male along with the simple instruction for the user to type in their name. Jay did so, and (quite literally) hit the OK button. The screen was refreshed again, this time with an explanatory text: “The Silph co. Pokédex Mk VI is designed to instantly and simply identify Pokémon. Simply point it at a Pokémon and the Pokédex’s sophisticated camera-database link will do the rest. The Pokédex can also scan a Pokémon for it’s moveset, gender, and other attributes. See under help > functions. This concludes the basic readme. Congratulations, you have successfully configured your Pokédex!”

“I’m done” said Jay, walking over the professor and handing him the dex. Redwood took it and plugged it in to a socket next to a computer and hit a button. Jay saw a picture of himself (that he didn’t remember ever taking, since it was of him and looked very recent) flash up on the computer, along with a few lines of text. Then it flickered off and the Pokédex beeped. He disconnected it and handed it back to Jay, who took it and tried to stick it in the back pocket of his jeans. It fitted perfectly. “Oh, um… how did you get my picture?” He said with a slightly scared inqusitiveness.

The professor smiled knowingly. “Ah, the dex automatically took it when you opened it for the first time. Built-in webcam, and all that. So yes, that’s your official picture now, it’ll follow you around for a long time now. That’s the picture you’ll be associated with across Johto. Wish you’d spent longer doing your hair?” Chuckling, he steered Jay back across the lab to the desk where the Pokéballs sat. “Ready to make your choice?” He added.

“Oh yes!” Jay replied, with great enthusiasm. He stepped forward, and picked up the ball in the red section. Stepping back and pointing the ball at the desk, he pressed the button in the centre of the ball, and it opened instantly in a flash of white light.

The white light quickly took form and colour, and in a second, a small beige and dark blue creature had appeared on Redwood’s desk. The Cyndaquil’s eyes flicked open, and with a squeak it had ignited the fire on its back. Turning to look up at Jay, it squeaked again, inquisitively.

“Hello. I’m Jay. Are you up for an adventure?” Jay wasn’t quite sure how to talk to his Pokémon, but he decided to adopt a friendly attitude and hope for the best. Cyndaquil was evidently satisfied by this, as it sprung up at Jay, who caught it carefully, wary of the fire that was flickering on its back. Rubbing its head with one hand, he reached into his pocket with the other, and retrieved his new Pokédex. Flipping it open and pointing it at Cyndaquil, the dex beeped and then spoke in a soft feminine tone. “Cyndaquil, the Fire Mouse Pokémon. Normally mild and even tempered, Cyndaquil will shoot a scorching flame out of its back when upset.”

“Well there you are!” Beamed the professor. “Looks like you’ve got a new friend, he seems perfectly happy around you. Of course, we breed starters to be friendly and easy to handle, but still, it’s always nice for your first Pokémon to take such a shine to you. Remember, you can check his moveset on your dex, but I’m right now you’re anxious to get going?”

Jay nodded. “Thanks for everything, really. It’s been great. But yeah, I should get going, I’m probably going to head in the direction of Violet City. It’s long way, but it’ll give me the chance to get some training done, and catch a few more pokes. You up for that, Cyndaquil?” The fire echidna squeaked cheerfully. “Good. So professor, um… which way is down?”

Redwood smiled. Well, not the way you came up, I have a much better way of getting down. Follow me! The two left the room, with Redwood leading the way. They passed through a few rooms, and then out onto a balcony. At one point, there was a gap in the safety railing that encircled it, and above the gap had been attatched a large metal wire. At the top of the wire, secured by a rope, was what looked like a small pulley with handles.

“Oh wow, a zipwire? That’s just awesome.”

“Oh yes! It’s much quicker and a lot more fun than trekking down hundreds of steps, ahaha. You’d better return your Cyndaquil now, you’ll need both hands.” Waving at the little Pokémon, Redwood led Jay over to the edge after he’d recalled it, checking that the Pokéball was magnetically secure on his belt. “You’ll pop out close to the main road out of town, you can enjoy the journey through the forest at ground level. Goodbye!”

Bidding the professor farewell and thanking him once more, Jay took hold of the zipwire, took a deep breath, and leapt. Hanging on tightly for dear life, (even though there was a safety net a few feet below him) he shot down through the foliage in a blur, and before he knew it he had reached the ground, where he promptly fell over upon landing. Rolling clumsily, he got back to his feet and grinned broadly. “Wow. That’s how a Pokémon journey starts? Wow. This is going to be so awesome.”

And releasing Cyndaquil from his Pokéball, the two set off walking towards the forest.
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Comment, y'all!
 
RE: Fanfic - Something I'm kinda working on

I liked the first half, or maybe up as far as two thirds. However, when the poacher came, I lost interest. It is a situation used too often, the whole, "I'm Ash protector of Pokemon! Team Rocket, you can't do that to those poor innocent Pokemon!" thing. I also think that the battle with Donphan should have been dragged on a but longer.

I don't think it's all bad though. You have very good writing style and a nice flow. I also like your extensive vocabulary. Good job!

In conclusion:
Stick to more original situations, but keep up the good work. I hope to see more!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - first gym battle added.

Pointing out some flaws.

'' Both he and Valkner ''

'' Gym Leader Valkner of the Violet City Gym ''

- Rotom-Cut
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Chapter 1 up!

Likes:
-Your writing certainly isn't lacking, you have good skills.
-Your description of the battle with Falkner is one of the better descriptions of Pokemon battling in fan fiction.
-Nice varied Pokemon with Falkner, glad not to see exclusively Pidgey/HootHoot, nice to see Wingull!

Dislikes:
-The whole lab thing is not new and quite boring, but it must be done for this type of fic.

I await more, keep it up!

BB.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - First battle up.

Thanks! Glad you like my battles, they're fun to write. So here's another one. Hope you don't find this one boring. ;)
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It was cool and airy in Redwood Forest as the mid-morning sun beat down through the dense foliage far above. Jay and his Cyndaquil were jogging along in high spirits, one laughing, and the other squeaking happily. The pair raced on down the rough track, scattering birds from trees as they took flight in shock.

The duo took little notice, so absorbed were they in beating the other at the ongoing race. Although Jay was quite tall for his age and he took long loping strides, Cyndaquil simply refused to fall behind. The little fire mouse kept on going, even though it took it ten steps to match one of Jay’s strides. Eventually though, it was forced to give in, and slid to halt, panting. Jay turned and jogged back over, and picked it up. “Well ran” he smiled, and took a seat under the nearest tree. It wasn’t as big as a Redwood, which were growing scarcer, but it was still a big tree. Looking up at it from below, Jay let out a yell of fright when a pair of eyes glared back.

As is often the case with shouting matches against animals, the Murkrow was more spooked by Jay’s yell than Jay was by the nightmarish appearance of a pair of glowing eyes in an old tree, and it promptly took flight. Seizing the initiative, Jay reached into a pocket, brought out an empty Pokéball and lobbed it at the rapidly fleeing Murkrow. Unfortunately for Jay, the Murkrow batted the ball away and made good its escape.

Retrieving the ball from the forest floor, Jay minimised it and returned it to his pocket and dejectedly slumped against the tree again. Cyndaquil looked up and squeaked encouragingly. “Heh, thanks little buddy. Plenty more fish in the sea, yeah.” Taking a flask from the front pocket of his rucksack, he took a drink from it and offered it to Cyndaquil. “Just water, want some?” The small Pokémon readily accepted, and stuck its long snout in, slurping up the water. Laughing, Jay pulled the water back, saying “That’s enough you, this has got to last us a bit longer, until lunch at least. I’ve only got a few bottles.” The two rested for a few minutes longer, and Jay stared around the forest, looking for any movement that would indicate a wild Pokémon nearby. He felt like expanding his team.

Eventually Jay got up, ready to continue his journey. Cyndaquil sprang up, evidently eager for another race, but it was to be disappointed. “Sorry Cyndaquil, I’m gonna go quietly, see if I can catch a something.” Seeing the disappointment on its face, he hastily added “so if you take a rest now, you’ll be on top form to battle it, right?” Cyndaquil appeared to consider this, and cheered up a bit. “Great, return!” The fire mouse glowed red and wavered as it was reformed into pure energy and consumed by the Pokéball that Jay had pointed at it. Clipping it back onto his belt, he strode away.

Jay walked on for over an hour without catching even a glimpse of a wild Pokémon, but he wasn’t too bothered. He had quite literally only just set off on his journey, he could hardly expect to catch more Pokémon instantly, could he. He remembered that he hadn’t even checked his Cyndaquil’s moves yet, either. Resolving to do that first thing after lunch, he first went about making lunch.

This consisted of hunting in his bag for his camouflage-print picnic blanket and the sandwhiches that his mother had made him for the first leg of his trip. The sandwiches were easily found, but his picnic blanket was proving elusive. Jay pulled out a towel, pajamas and swimming shorts before his hand closed on the tightly rolled fabric nestled at the bottom of his bag. He pulled out a picnic blanket, but it was not camo-green and brown. It was however, very pink. And yellow. And floral. There was a note pinned to one corner, which read: “Jay, I’m sure you’ll complain a bit, but I think this is much better than the ugly picnic blanket that you chose. This one’s so much more bright and cheerful, it reminded me of you. Best of luck on your journey, love from your mum.”

Jay smiled softly, and solemnly unpinned the note, placing it in an inside pocket in his hoody. Then he got down to eating, which didn’t take long. After lunch, Jay decided to press on through the forest, and hopefully, catch a wild Pokémon…

Hours passed, and Jay limped along. He’d seen and caught nothing all day, and had finally lost his temper, kicking a nearby tree. Aside from a rain of pinecones to the head and a bruised foot, nothing had come of it. Leaning against a tree and rubbing his twinging foot, he became aware that someone was approaching him on the path. It was the first person he’d seen since he’d left Professor Redwood, so he decided to wait and see who it was.

The person drew nearer, and Jay saw that the walker was an old man, dressed in robes of some kind, and with a spectacularly wispy white beard that curled down almost all the way to his black belt. Shorter than Jay by a head, he looked up at the teen as he drew nearer, wispy grey eyes fixed on Jay’s green-brown eyes. Jay suddenly felt quite aware that he probably looked a bit of a mess. His walking boots were already caked in mud, and there were splatters up his blue jeans too. Twiddling the zipper of his hoody awkwardly, he nonetheless greeted the stranger politely. “Good afternoon sir.”

“Good afternoon to you, young one. What’s a child like you doing so deep in the woods, all alone?”

“Yeah… firstly, I’m not a child, I’m a teenager. I’m taking the scenic route to Ivyville. And I’m not alone either.” Defiantly, Jay plucked Cyndaquil’s Pokéball from his belt and expanded it, but didn’t throw it.

“Oh!” Cackled the old man, “you’re a trainer, eh. Excellent, I challenge you to a battle!”

“You’re on. But I should mention… I, uh… I only started this morning, and I haven’t actually battled yet.” Jay was slightly bashful, but there was no way he was going to decline a battle, let alone his first battle. He just hoped he could win. The old man didn’t look too tough, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.

“Don’t start with excuses, boy. That’s just impolite. You have agreed to battle, so we will battle. Bellsprout, out you come!” With speed far surpassing Jay’s expectations, the man had procured a Pokéball from his pocket and tossed it forward. In a flash, a strange, plant-like creature had appeared, with a yellow bulb “head” and leaves for arms. It balanced on delicate looking roots.

Reaching into his back pocket, Jay withdrew his Pokédex and pointed it at the old man’s Pokémon. “Bellsprout, the Flower Pokémon. A carnivorous Pokémon that traps and eats bugs. It appears to use its root feet to replenish moisture.”

“Interesting” said Jay, and now he threw out his Pokéball. “Cyndaquil, let’s go!” Cyndaquil leapt out excitedly, and caught sight of the old man’s Bellsprout. It squeaked determinately, and the flames on its back shot out, flickering fiercely.

“A fire-type, I see… so you have advantage. I’ll allow you the first move too. Ready?”

“Um… just a second.” Pointing his dex at Cyndaquil, he said “moveset”. The dex beeped and said “Cyndaquil currently knows Leer, Tackle, Smokescreen and Ember”. Jay looked bashfully at the old man, but he was poker faced, and if he disapproved he gave no sign. “Right, now I’m ready. Cyndaquil, Ember!”

Cyndaquil reared up onto its hind legs and spat fire at Bellsprout, but the old man barked a command, and it expertly dodged the shots using its flexible stem. The old man called out “Vine Whip!” and Bellsprout grew long green vines, which snaked towards Cyndaquil rapidly. Jay shouted too late, and the vines hit Cyndaquil hard, one in the stomach and one around its legs, flipping it backward.

Bouncing upright with a pained screech, Cyndaquil looked up at Jay expectantly. “You’re doing great!” he encouraged. “Tackle!” With the same grace and agility it had shown racing earlier in the day, the fire mouse charged towards Bellsprout, but before the attack could connect, the vines came snaking back, and once again landed two hard hits that cracked like whips.

“Bellsprout, use Poisonpowder now!” cried the old man, and Bellsprout obeyed, gushing out a dirty green gas from the mouth of its bulb.

“Counter with Smokescreen, you can do it!” Feebly, Cyndaquil struggled upright and sprayed thick smoke around it. The two gasses mingled, so that neither Pokémon could see the other.

Undeterred, the old man called out “Razor leaf”, and Bellsprout shot a flurry of ten sharp leaves through the lingering gas in Cyndaquil’s general direction. Three of them hit, one after another in quick succession. Once more, Cyndaquil was knocked back, but this time it didn’t get up.

“Alright, you win!” shouted Jay, sprinting forward to his downed Cyndaquil. Cradling it gently, he picked it up and approached the old man. “You were amazing, I couldn’t even have a chance to hit you.”

The old man nodded modestly. “I’ve been battling a looooong time, young’un. I’ve beaten Gym Leaders, Elites, and even a Champion or two. Maybe you’ll do the same one day, you show promise. Nice idea trying to stop my poison using smokescreen.” Which reminds me…” Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out what looked like a brightly coloured miniature deodorant bottle. “I assume you know that this is a Potion. Spray it over your Pokémon, the medicine should help it recover.”

“I have a few in my rucksack, but thank you.” Replied Jay, and he did as the old man instructed, and sprayed the medicine over Cyndaquil. Squeaking quietly, it stirred feebly. “Get some rest, you fought well for your first time.” As he returned Cyndaquil to his belt, the old man spoke again.

“So, have you thought about what other Pokémon you want to catch? One Pokémon, no matter how gutsy, is only a limited help.”

“Well, I’ve been trying to find wild Pokémon all day, but I can’t seem to see any. And a Murkrow I threw a Pokéball at this morning just hit it away and flew off.”

“Hmmm. Have you tried leaving some bait out? If you want a bird, which I’d recommend, just leave some food out for them, hide for a while, and wait for them to come. Then choose a target and attack it until it’s weak enough to be captured. And now”, the old man continued, “I really must be carrying on with my journey. Best of luck on yours, my young friend. Goodbye!”

“Goodbye!” said Jay, and both trainers parted, carrying on with own their journeys.
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Et voila, comments always welcomed. Next chapter will be a bit moody/depressing, as the character questions himself after his first loss, etc.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - First battle up.

"'Well Ran' he smiled"" should have a comma after "Ran".

Nice chapter, as I've always said your description abilities are top-notch. Battle felt a little short though.
I think, however, you should delete this thread and make a new one putting the stories in order. Looking back at the first post I bet I can guess what Pokemon Jay catches.

More! More! More!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - First battle up.

Thanks again, and yeah, the battle was meant to be short. Brief and one-sided, yay. Anyway, here we go, next part. This one's not as long, cos Jay doesn't usually wallow in depressed self-pity.
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Head bowed against the pouring rain, Jay stumbled onwards against the blustering wind. The low hanging branches of the forest whipped at him from everywhere, but he struggled on anyway, determined to make more headway and not just to give up for the night, even though it was barely evening…

As Jay had walked away from the old man after their battle, he felt his cheerful grin begin to fade. His first battle had gone pretty disastrously, with his Cyndaquil landing no hits on the old man’s Bellsprout. In return, it had been knocked out in four moves. He had reached to his belt, intending to let Cyndaquil walk with him, but had jerked his hand away at the last minute, telling himself that he should let his Pokémon rest a while. He’d carried on alone, unwelcome thoughts spinning around his head. It had started to rain, big fat droplets splashing through the sparse canopy of leaves above. Jay had barely noticed, and didn’t bother to raise his hood. Trudging doggedly onwards instead of seeking shelter, he seemed oblivious to the downpour all around him. He was deep inside his own head, stormy and doubtful…

Jay was drenched, and his dark hair was plastered to his head and face. Drips cascaded down his nose, landing in the mud that the ground was rapidly becoming. His jeans were entirely dark and drenched, making walking that much harder. The hood that he had neglected to pull up earlier was now a pool of water, slowly relieving water by pouring down Jay’s back. He barely noticed, doggedly pushing forward in the grey dusk.

As the rain intensified, Jay carried on, oblivious to everything but his own self-doubt. He’d always joked to those who knew him best that his outward self-confidence was just a veneer, and beneath that was a kid who was terrified of failure. His thoughts kept replaying the image of his Cyndaquil being thrown backwards, mercilessly struck by Bellsprout’s vines, and the sickening crack that they’d made when they flicked at Cyndaquil’s side. It had screeched in pain and tumbled backwards, but he’d shouted at it to get back up and fight on, instead of bowing out and accepting that the old man was clearly far superior to him. Oh, he’d enjoyed the battle at the time, the feeling of working together with the Pokémon and striving for victory, but how many poor and defenceless Pokémon was he going to force into a Pokémon Centre as he made his way on his journey?

Regretfully, Jay conceded defeat, and stopped in what little shelter a large tree could provide him. Unslinging his rucksack with such vigour that it spun around and hit him in the stomach with a wet splat, he wrenched at the zipper on the large back pocket. Tugging out a flatpack tent, he hurled it out, and it sprang into shape. He threw his sleeping bag in before him, and then crawled into the tiny tent himself, not caring that his muddy boots had already dirtied the previously pristine sleeping bag. Curled up uncomfortably in a corner of the tent, he leant on the tree outside, even though it just caused water from the trunk to run through the tent’s fabric, and down his back. He shivered violently, and sneezed. Then he sneezed and shivered some more. Once again, he considered bringing out Cyndaquil for some warmth, but once again, he refused. He just couldn’t face the little face, the innocence in the eyes, and the obvious friendship it had already formed with him. He felt like he’d somehow betrayed it, on his first day as a trainer no less.

Ten minutes later, Jay was shivering violently inside his sleeping bag. He’d removed his wet clothes and had thrown them in a corner, and he’d curled up as much as he could, trying not to touch the walls of the tent. “And here I am,” he thought bitterly, in between sneezes “the first day of my journey over. It sucked. But at least it can’t get any worse.” Snoozing fitfully, all he could think of was his failure as a trainer, his failure to guide his Pokémon to victory, or even a dignified loss. He cast his mind back to his childhood daydreams of him winning battle after battle with a team of mighty Pokémon. He saw clearly in his mind’s eye pictures that he’d drawn of a mighty Typhlosion breathing fire, fighting, and just resting with him after a hard day’s training. Jay buried his face in his hands and rolled over.

However, Jay had reached the point where it was either swallow what little pride he had left and call out his portable handwarmer, or risk serious illness. Already his sneeze seemed to be well on the way to becoming a cough. Laboriously drawing a frigid hand from the sleeping back, he wiped his tear-marked face self-conciously, and took a deep, shuddering breath. Reaching for the Pokéball that still hung on his belt in the corner, he pushed the button and said “Cyndaquil, out you-KACHEW. Ugh, bleh.”

Cyndaquil actually jumped when he sneezed, and fresh waves of guilt rolled over him. “Uh… sorry. Come here, please.” Cyndaquil readily obeyed, and sprung up onto Jay, who laid back. Delicately, he probed the little echidna’s back and sides for bruises or cuts, but found to his astonishment that Cyndaquil appeared unharmed. Its personality didn’t seem affected either, for it was affectionate as it had been all day. Jay was glad of it, and of the warmth that emanated from Cyndaquil’s body.”I’m sorry…” he repeated awkwardly. “About earlier, I mean. I was useless, I didn’t want you to get so hurt, it just… happened. I didn’t know how to defend you. I just hope you’re alright, and…” he broke off, unable to say anymore. Cyndaquil squeaked gently, and nuzzled at Jay. Then it bounced up and down with a grin, trying to convey that it was fine.

“You’re feeling alright? You sure? You took quite a beating out there” said Jay, amazed. Cyndaquil reared up and nodded confidently. Then it curled up on Jay and closed its eyes. A wave of relief surged through Jay, hotter and more pleasant even than the heat of Cyndaquil’s body. “We’ll train hard tomorrow, I promise. Maybe catch another Pokémon. Whatever happens, we’ll do out best.” Jay yawned hugely. He was feeling better already. Scratching Cyndaquil’s long snout, (to accompanying faint squeals of enjoyment) Jay fell asleep, feeling slightly better about himself.
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So yeah.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Arrival at Ivyville

OK, here's another bit. Took me a while, apologies.
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Rudely awoken by the light streaming in through the thin canvas walls of his tent, Jay stared groggily. He yawned and tried to stretch, but quickly found out that this is impossible in a tent. Rolling over, he heard a muffled thump and felt the absence of a weight on his chest.

From the floor beside him, Cyndaquil squeaked in protest at its own rude awakening. “Eh, sorry about that. Good morning, anyway.” Jay was starting to remember the events of the previous date, and it was with some apprehension that he sat up and rubbed his eyes. It’d be much more peaceful to lie down and sleep forever in this little tent in the middle of nowhere, but Jay was resolved to get out and start training to be a Pokémon Master.

Reaching for his clothes that he’d piled in a corner, he found them as he had left them: soaking wet and muddy. He couldn’t do anything about the mud, but he had an idea about the wetness. Unzipping his tent, he half-climbed, half-rolled out, wincing as he stepped on some pointy twigs in his bare feet. Jay reached back inside his tent and extracted his possessions, packing the sleeping bag back away into his rucksack. He shooed Cyndaquil out, who seemed to be even worse at mornings than him. Then he withdrew his clothes and held them up. He called to Cyndaquil, who had sat down on a patch of damp grass and was watching Jay, still in his shorts and tee-shirt, with amused curiosity.

“Alright, training starts now. Lesson one, fine control of your fire-breathing abilities. I want you to use Ember on my clothes, just enough that they dry, but not so much that you combust them. Seriously, if you set fire to my favourite hoody, I will be terribly sad.” He laughed at the last part, but he was only half-joking. It was a great hoody. “You ready to give it a go? Let’s start small, aim for this sock.” Springing up, Cyndaquil ignited its flame, and spat forth a gentle flame, which nonetheless set the tip of the sock on fire. Jay dropped it and stamped on it quickly.

“Well, at least it’s dry. Try again, next sock.” This time, Cyndaquil shot less fire, and the sock was dried with barely a singe. “Excellent, let’s move on to bigger things, hat and jeans now please.” Once again, Cyndaquil dried them expertly, and once again Jay praised it, eager to inspire confidence in it after yesterday’s loss. However, he didn’t offer his hoody for drying, instead donning hat, trousers, socks, and boots quickly. Cyndaquil squeaked indignantly at this, clearly assuming (correctly) that Jay was not entirely confidently in it. “No, no, it’s fine… we should be arriving at a Pokémon centre sometime this evening, and until then I’ll be fine with just my shirt. See, it’s grey and it’s got a black Pokéball logo here, cool huh?”

Cyndaquil reared up stubbornly, looking disturbingly similar to Jay’s mother when she was scolding him. “Fine… just don’t set it on fire or anything. It’s a good hoody.” Cyndaquil squeaked again, concisely conveying that it didn’t understand Jay’s obsession with said garment, and he shrugged bashfully. “Fine, go for it. Ember, just not too much.” Once again, Cyndaquil shot a thin burst of flame that instantly evaporated the moisture on the hoody. All was going well, until midway down the left arm, Cyndaquil sneezed. A tiny mushroom of fire popped out of its nose and hit the sleeve, singeing it slightly. Cyndaquil looked shocked, and it squealed quietly. “Oops” was probably the gist of it.

Jay stood very still, totally unmoving. His first instinct had been to yell, but he knew that while it was putting on a brave face regarding its loss in its first ever battle with him, Cyndaquil was probably still feeling upset about it and had been trying to help Jay as a show of commitment. Jay knew shouting would only make things worse. So instead of shouting, he put his hoody back on and forced a smile. “Nice job, very toasty.” Zipping up, he went to sit down next Cyndaquil. “Don’t worry, I was only joking about being sad. And besides, you can barely see a mark. Want some breakfast?”

Rooting around in his rucksack, Jay found some fruit, an apple and a banana. The apple was bruised and the banana was mushy, but Jay passed them both over to Cyndaquil, who didn’t mind. Jay settled for a drink of water and nibble of Pokémon food, which he spat out instantly with a “blech”. Before long, the pair had set off again. Jay estimated that they’d arrive in Ivyville sometime in the afternoon, if his cartography skills were to be trusted. As he’d said to Cyndaquil as he planned their route, “we’re here, the town’s there, all we need to do is follow this squiggly line.”

Jogging along the path together once again, with Jay occasionally commanding Cyndaquil to attack random rocks, the two made good progress all morning. The forest was getting slightly less dense already, and there seemed to be more wild Pokémon in it. Jay had caught sight of a few bird-types, hastily flapping away from their trees as he passed them. Stopping for lunch in a grassy glade, Jay suddenly recalled the old man’s advice. Taking a crust from his rather squashed tuna sandwich, he scattered it across the grass under several trees, and then hid behind a convenient rock. Thus the trap was set, and the two rested to see if any birds would take the bait.

They didn’t have long to wait. Soon, a bunch of birds had gathered, including several Pidgey, a Starly, and two Spearow. Jay let them eat for a while and then prodded Cyndaquil, (who had taken an after-lunch nap) gently and said, “Right, this is it. Leap out, and attack the closest one to you. Ready? Go!”

With a screech, Cyndaquil had leapt, igniting its flame in midair and landing in the midst of the panicking flock. The nearest bird was a Spearow, which pecked Cyndaquil viciously before flapping upwards. Jay yelled out “Smokescreen, trap that one that pecked you!” and Cyndaquil obeyed, shooting out a jet of thick smog that enveloped the flapping bird. It squawked in anger, and swept down at Cyndaquil, but Jay was ready and called for it to dodge and use Ember. With garment-toasting precision, Cyndaquil hit the Spearow squarely, bringing it tumbling down to the ground.

“Go Pokéball!” Jay threw a Pokéball, and in a flash of red light, it swallowed the bird Pokémon. The ball bounced once, and then was still. Running over, Jay shouted in triumph, “Yes, my first capture! Great work Cyndaquil! Right, let’s have a look at you, Spearow. Out you come again!” Throwing the Pokéball up, it exploded in midair, revealing a white glow that rapidly formed itself into a small, scruffy looking bird. With a piercing cry, it spotted Cyndaquil, and swept down towards it.

“Oi! No attacking anything unless I say so. Stop it!” Cyndaquil saw it coming, and reared up, flame ablaze and ready to counter, but Jay said “no, just dodge its attacks, I don’t want the pair of you fighting each other all the way across Johto. Spearow, STOP!” Spearow looked up at Jay in between swoops at Cyndaquil, squawked mournfully at him, and flapped back over to him. Wearily watching the bird, Cyndaquil sank back down onto all fours and extinguished the flame on its back, apparently satisfied that it would not be attacked again.

Satisfied that Spearow was under his control, Jay reached into his pocket for his Pokédex. Training it on his new acquisition, the Pokédex beeped. “Spearow, the tiny bird Pokémon. It flaps its small wings busily to fly. Using its beak, it searches in grass for prey.” “Well, you don’t look so tiny to me… let’s check your moveset. “ “Spearow currently knows Peck, Growl and Fury Attack.” “Only three moves, that means you can learn something else too. Well, let’s get training!”

As the afternoon passed, Jay steadily made his way onwards through the forest, following the map’s squiggly line. He learnt lots about his new Spearow too. Its flying capabilities were quite limited, and it struggled to keep up with Cyndaquil, but it was tough, dogged, and tenacious. It was also quite dense. Several times now it had swept down on Cyndaquil, and Jay had bellowed “No!” at it and had Cyndaquil dodge the first two times. The third time, he’d lost his patience and instructed Cyndaquil to use Ember. Having recovered from a light charring, Spearow appeared to have gotten the message that Cyndaquil was not to be bothered.

Slowing his pace and reaching into his rucksack for a drink, he knelt down to give a Cyndaquil a pat. Spearow, who had been flying jerky circles above, swept down clumsily and landed on Jay’s head. Wincing slightly as he felt the prick of the tiny bird’s claws through his hat, he reached up cautiously and ventured a quick stroke. He heard Spearow’s vicious curved beak click, and hurriedly withdrew his hand. With his other hand he stowed the water and then stood up gently, still feeling his newest Pokémon clinging to his head.

“Time to hit the road again… we can’t be far from Ivyville now. At least, I don’t think so. I mean, we could have taken entirely wrong route and be curving back towards Redwood, but… um… nah.” Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, he set off at a brisk pace. “Cyndaquil, start running, let’s see if lazy ol’ birdie here can keep up.”

Spearow could not keep up. No matter how much it tried, it ran out of puff too quickly, and Cyndaquil always ended up with a huge lead. Already having acquired some of Jay’s personality traits, it was quite smug about this. Jogging back to Jay, holding a panting Spearow on his arm, at a leisurely pace, Cyndaquil yawned theatrically, and curled up in a ball at Jay’s feet. Spearow did not take this joke well, and launched itself off Jay’s arm, hurtling towards Cyndaquil and using Fury Attack. Even though its beak was a glowing, stabbing blur, Cyndaquil dodged, ignited its flame, blasted a Smokescreen jet directly at the enraged bird, and then ducked neatly sideways and bowled it over with a Tackle. Then it extinguished its flame and curled up once more. The whole sequence happened in seconds, and Jay gaped in astonishment. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and then spoke weakly. “I said no fighting, you two. And Cyndaquil… nice to see that this training’s helping, but go easy. Spearow, return…” Reformed into energy and swallowed up into its Pokéball, Jay returned it to his belt. “Come on Cyndaquil, let’s get a move on. It’s got to be mid-afternoon already, I’m looking forward to being out of this forest. Lovely and cool, but I want some nice wide-open spaces.”

Jogging onwards for half an hour or so, they suddenly heard the crash of trees to their left. Quite a way off the path, there was a purplish shape heading in their general direction. “What’s that I wonder… can’t quite make it out. Let’s see…” Reaching into his back pocket, Jay flipped open the Pokédex and aimed it at the purple thing. Bleeping, the dex’s tinny voice spoke. “Nidoking, the drill Pokémon. A Nidoking's thick tail packs enormously destructive power capable of toppling a metal transmission tower. Once it goes on a rampage, there is no stopping it.”

“Oh wow, a Nidoking. I’ve heard of them, they normally live in the grasslands… we must be nearly out of this forest. Or Nidoking’s lost, which would explain the anger. Reckon we’ve got a shot at a capture? Two in a day would rock.” Cyndaquil evidently disagreed, squeaking and shaking its head. “Oh come on. We should at least try, what can possibly go wrong? Apart from being rampaged to death, I mean? Um… yeah.” Jay was many things, and impulsive was one of them. Squaring his shoulders, he ran off the path and towards the approaching beast. Cyndaquil tailed behind, none too pleased. Crouching behind a convenient tree, Jay took a deep breath, and then shouted commands.

“Alright, Smokescreen to Ember, give it your best!” Cyndaquil did indeed give its best, but the haze of smoke that billowed out of its mouth barely reached Nidoking’s gargantuan neck, and the stream of flame didn’t seem to do much damage. It enraged it further, but that was not a great help. Realising the situation wasn’t as he had hoped, Jay hurled a Pokéball wildly and started to back away, calling to Cyndaquil to follow. Meanwhile, the Pokéball bounced of Nidoking’s arm and was subsequently crushed. Bellowing with rage, Nidoking swiped at the tree that Jay had recently been hiding behind, uprooting it instantly.

“That looked like Rock Smash to me. RUN!” Fleeing back onto the path, the duo sped away. At least, Cyndaquil did. Jay made the elementary of looking back to look at his pursuer, even though nothing he could see would make him run faster. It was just his luck that as he turned back to see the infuriated Nidoking lumbering along in hot pursuit, he caught his foot on a straggling tree root and fell hard. “Oh, damn-” Dazed, he rolled over groggily, and looked up to see the purple beast growing ever closer. Paling, he cursed his own foolhardiness, and tried to scramble to his feet.

Several meters ahead, Cyndaquil heard Jay’s yell as he tripped. Turning, it saw what had happened; saw Nidoking approaching, giant feet pounding the ground. Cyndaquil sprang, body blurring white as it launched a Quick Attack. Leaping, it soared to Nidoking’s head height and hit it squarely between the eyes, just under the massive horn on the top of its head. It reeled back for a moment, but that moment was all that Jay needed. Back on his feet, he was running once more, recalling Cyndaquil to its Pokéball out of harm’s way as he ran. Luckily for him, the Nidoking had decided against following him, and had trudged back into the undergrowth.

Carrying on alone, it wasn’t long before he noticed that the trees were starting to become more and more covered in ivy. He got even further before he noticed that he was standing on it. At some point, the path had been completely overrun by it. He trod gingerly at first, but soon he realised that the plants were so thick that he wasn’t causing them any harm, and walked normally.

Suddenly, he reached the tree line, and emerged into the late afternoon sun. Plucking Cyndaquil’s Pokéball from his belt and throwing it in one smooth motion, he looked down, excited. “So, you learnt a new move just then, right? Thanks for being there for me.” Hugging the little fire mouse, he rubbed its snout and grinned. “Here we are, Ivyville. We’ll stay here tonight, I want to say hello to a friend, if he’s here too. Maybe we’ll battle. Up for it?” Cyndaquil looked up from bouncing happily on the soft ivy, and squeaked an affirmation. “Right, let’s head into town and find the Pokémon Centre.”

Ivyville was quite a small town in a little valley, surrounded by rolling fields on most sides. Following the ivy trail, Jay and Cyndaquil were soon able to see the town, which was mostly green, from the ivy that swarmed over almost everything. Some surfaces were clear of it, such as the large statue and fountain in the middle of town, shop signs, and the large Pokéball logo that identified the large building it was attached to as the town’s Pokémon Centre. As he reached the town, the paths became wider, and lined with grey stone to mark them out from the wild ivy and grass that dominated most of the landscape that wasn’t occupied by buildings. Heading for the Pokémon centre, the doors hissed open and Jay stepped inside, with Cyndaquil at his side.
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And there we have it. The next chapter will introduce Jay's rival, predictably using the region's starter that his is weak to. >.> Comments welcomed, as always!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Meeting Claude

BUMP.
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Jay stepped into the airy, open foyer and headed for the reception desk. As he’d expected, there was a Nurse Joy manning the desk, (or womaning it, in this case) and she looked up, smiling when he approached. “Welcome to Ivyville Pokémon Centre, how can I help you?”

“Hi! I was hoping for a room for tonight, and I’ve got a couple of Pokémon that I’d like to get checked over. Nothing serious, one got slightly cooked, and this one’s been fighting people five times as big as it.” Cyndaquil scrambled up onto the desk and squeaked a cheerful greeting.

Nurse Joy smiled back at it. “Not a problem. Pop this little fellow back in his Pokéball and I’ll take them both back to the clinic, it shouldn’t take long. Feel free to get some food and a drink. Ooh, I almost forgot. Here you are, room twenty-five.” Thanking the nurse, Jay returned Cyndaquil to its Pokéball and handed it to her, along with Spearow. Walking over to lounge area, Jay investigated the vending machines. Pushing a few buttons experimentally, he was rewarded with a small meat and potato pie and cherryade. Nodding his approval, he followed a corridor up to the guest rooms, taking note of the location of the laundry room (next door to the bathrooms). Arriving at the door of room 25, Jay inserted the keycard into the slot, and the light on the lock flicked from red to green. Pushing the door open and pocketing the keycard, Jay stepped into his lodgings for the night.

In a word, the room was… green. Light green, to be precise. Criss-crossing, apparently randomly across the greenness was more green. Dark green, as it happened. Clearly it was an artistic interpretation of vines, or perhaps the artist was a young child with only two coloured crayons. Tearing his eyes away from the blank patch of wall, Jay turned to his left, where there was a bunk bed and a wardrobe. Turning around, he was treated to quite a nice view of the Pokémon Centre’s battlefield, a small island of yellow-grey sand in a sea of yellow. It was currently in use by two trainers, one of whom had a Heracross. The other had a Stantler, and as he watched, the Stantler’s trainer called out, sending Stantler charging towards the Heracross. It stood firm, and at a word from its trainer, thrust its head forward, glowing horn sweeping the Stantler to the ground.

Smiling, Jay sat down at the table by the window and ate his pie while the battle outside continued. To his untrained eye, the Heracross had the advantage, being stronger. However, it was quite slow and the Stantler was taking advantage of this. The battle finished with Heracross using Focus Punch on the Stantler, which buckled and stayed down, just as Jay was finishing his cherryade. Unloading his sleeping bag and tent, along with a few other things that he wouldn’t need around town, Jay headed back down to the lobby. Nurse Joy was back on the desk and seeing him, reached under the desk and withdrew two Pokéballs. “Here you are, they’re both fine. Well, you’re Spearow needs more training. It tried to attack your Cyndaquil. And my Blissey.”

Jay winced. “Sorry, I only caught it this morning. It objected to Cyndaquil attacking it, and it doesn’t seem to have got into its thick skull that it should be friendly. Thanks for checking up on them anyway. Which way to the Pokémart please, I’m hoping to run into a friend there.”

“It’s just across town, past the fountain. It’s the last shop in the row, nearest to the road out towards Chestnut Vale. Have a nice evening, and let me know if you need anything else.” Turning, she walked back to the medical wing.

Jay followed her directions across town on the vine path, and before long, he’d arrived at the Pokémart. The automatic door slid open, and a buzzer buzzed. The old man at the counter snored noisily, making Jay jump and reach for his belt. Looking around, he saw a white haired old man with a spectacular walrus moustache. He wore a faded apron, although most of it was bunched up under his had as a makeshift pillow. Relaxing and letting go of Cyndaquil’s Pokéball, Jay walked over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Um… hello. Wakey wakey sir?” Jay’s insistent prodding had roused the man, although when he spoke it was tinged with a stifled yawn.

“Ah, good evening young man, what can I help you with? We have everything here that a trainer could need, so take a look around and get what you think you’ll need.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a few things that I’ll need, but I was wondering, is your son here? Claude? He’s a friend, he’ll know me. I’m Jay.” Jay spoke quickly, excited to see his old friend.

“Ah, yes, he’s around the back helping out. I’ll go fetch him, and you get what supplies you need.” Stretching laboriously, the shopkeeper got up and trudged out of the room, vanishing behind a bead curtain that tinkled merrily behind him. Jay wandered up and down aisles, picking out assorted items that he needed, like more potions and Pokéballs, a torch (he’d forgotten his own, because no matter how well you pack, there is always something that will escape) and a multitool. He also stocked up on food, most of it canned. Carrying his choices up to the counter, he dropped them on the wooden surface and waited for the shopkeeper to return.

He did soon, and behind him came another figure. Stockier and a few months older than Jay, he was slightly shorter, a fact that made Jay grin widely. “Heya Claude, how’s things?”

“Not bad Jay, you?” Clasping hands, the two conducted a complicated handshake, complete with finger-snapping, funny hand gestures, and as a finishing move, a mid-air high-five. The shopkeeper looked on, clearly bewildered by the youth of today.

“Pretty good, started my journey yesterday. It’s had its ups and downs.”

“Oh yeah? Who’d you pick as your starter? You caught any more Pokémon? You won any battles?” Claude asked eagerly.

“Yeah, I caught a Spearow earlier. I won’t get it out in here, because it’ll attack something. However… you can meet my Cyndaquil.” Flicking the Pokéball, the two teens watched as the white energy took shape. Cyndaquil looked up and squeaked happily. “Cyndaquil, this is Claude, he’s a friend of mine.” Claude knelt down and greeted the mouse Pokémon, before inspecting it critically.

“Not bad, little Jay. Me, I got… ” Releasing his own Pokémon, a blue and yellow crocodile Pokémon appeared facing Cyndaquil, and opened its large mouth, revealing sharp teeth. It barked a challenge, and instantly Cyndaquil squeaked and reared up onto its hind legs, flames on its back burning. Both challengers spoke up, and both Pokémon settled back down. Jay pulled out his Pokédex and pointed it at Claude’s Pokémon. “Croconaw, the Big Jaw Pokémon, and the evolved form of Totodile. It opens its mouth wide and attacks, and if it loses its teeth, they regrow quickly.”

“Nice, evolved already eh? Great. Just keep it off my Cyndaquil, it’ll end badly for you. Cyndaquil fought off a Nidoking earlier, you know. It was pretty impressive.”

“They’ve had a good idea though” said Claude, grinning. Want a battle? First one?”

“Yeah, I’ve already had one… against some old guy who’d travelled around. Lost spectacularly” Jay mumbled glumly. “But yeah, I’m up for a battle now, no problem.”

“Oh, tough luck there. But I won’t be your first win, little Jay. I’ve got four badges already, I’m only back here because I was in the area and I heard you’d be starting your journey and coming through here. Let’s head over to the Pokémon Centre, they’ve got a decent field we can use. You’re staying there, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. And stop calling ‘little Jay’ that was a long time ago and you’re the short one now. Caught you up and overtook you, haha!” Collecting his things from the shopkeeper and thanking him, Jay headed for the door with Cyndaquil, Claude and Croconaw right behind him.
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Comments welcome. Hint hint?
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Meeting Claude

Nice new chapters! Ill finish the review when I have more time later. Sorry I haven't been actively following this, I was on holiday. Keep going!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Meeting Claude

Thanks, glad you're still enjoying it. I thought I'd turned my only fan against me! :O:p Here's a bit more. Yay more battling.
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Jay stood on one side of the battlefield, looking across at Claude at the other. The trainers’ Pokémon were standing in front of them, ready to battle. Cyndaquil was reared up, flame ignited, and Croconaw was gnashing its teeth fiercly. Claude spoke up. “After you, Jay. Show me what you’ve got.”

“Right… Cyndaquil, let’s go! Smokescreen to Quick Attack, hit ‘em fast and hard, like we practised!” Squeaking, Cyndaquil bounded forward, spurting smoke from its mouth and covering the field. Circling back around, it gained speed and quickly turned into a white blur that plunged into the smoke towards Croconaw.

Claude didn’t seem phased, calling out “Croconaw, Crunch!” From inside the rapidly thinning smoke there came a crunch and a yelp, and then Cyndaquil came tumbling out of the haze. It leapt back to its feet, ready for instructions. “Croconaw, Water Gun!”

“Dodge it with another quick attack!” Jay knew all too well that Croconaw had the type advantage, but he knew that Cyndaquil was fast enough to dodge. Well, hoped. Darting from side to side to avoid high-powered jets of water from the Big Jaw Pokémon, it leapt at Croconaw, who was caught in between squirts. Tackling it heavily, Cyndaquil knocked the larger Pokémon off-balance, and quickly backed off. “Ember!” Jay called, seizing his chance. Spewing bright flames at Croconaw, Cyndaquil was caught off-guard as Croconaw leapt forward, fangs bared as Claude called out for another Crunch. Croconaw seized Cyndaquil bodily, seemingly unconcerned by the red-hot flames from Cyndaquil’s back that was clamped in its mouth.

“All right, finish things up with Whirlpool!” Dropping Cyndaquil, Croconaw raised its arms and spewed a giant torrent of water, which shaped itself into a circling, gushing whirlpool, which soared over to the prone Cyndaquil. It raised itself back onto all fours, trying to escape, but in an instant the whirlpool engulfed it, knocking it around the inside of the watery cyclone. Soon, the whirlpool vanished, and Cyndaquil flopped to the floor, knocked out.

Jay stood there, gazing off into the middle distance. He’d lost against his best friend, the one with whom he’d always talked of going on a Pokémon journey to. He remembered when Claude hadn’t even been particularly interested in Pokémon. And yet here he was, easily beating him. Snapping out of his daze, he ran forward to check on Cyndaquil, and met Claude halfway, who was bending down next to Croconaw and grinning broadly.

“Not bad for a beginner” he teased, “but I’m just out of your league, eh?” Jay struggled for a retort, but managed to mumble something about type advantages and evolved Pokémon versus basics. Recalling Cyndaquil, he turned to leave, but Claude clapped a hand on his shoulder, holding back. “Slow down, I’ll come to Nurse Joy with you, and we can chat a while before I head back.”

Heading back indoors, they were greeted by Nurse Joy. “Hello boys, can I help?”

Presenting their Pokéballs, Claude said “Yeah, we just had a battle, could you give our Pokémon a quick look, make sure they’re alright? Thanks.”

After Nurse Joy had bustled away, the two took seats in the lounge area, and caught up on events in each other’s lives. Claude and his family had moved out of Redwood Town a few years ago, and the two friends had only spoken infrequently since then, mostly over the phone or on one of Claude’s rare visits with his parents, who occasionally came back to speak with Professor Redwood. Claude’s mother was an archaeologist who searched ruins for ancient artefacts or clues to life long before people could remember or complete records existed.

“In fact, you should visit her sometime, she’s at the Sinjoh ruins, in a general that way-ish direction.” Claude waved vaguely to his left. “It’s pretty cool stuff.”

“Sounds it. I’ll go if I get the chance, but I’m heading onwards to Violet City now, via a few other towns or whatever I find on my way. Might head over to Cherrygrove next, I hear it’s on the way.”

“Yeah, that’s the next town on really, but there’s a few farms and whatnot scattered around the road before you hit it. After that, you’re only a day or two away from the Violet Gym, and then you’ll be up against Falkner. Good luck against him. He’s a flying-type kind of guy, so you’ll need to get that Spearow in good order.” Looking over at the clock on the wall, he stood up. “Oops, I should’ve been back almost an hour ago! Just like old times, eh? Drop round the shop before you go tomorrow, see you later!” And with that, he ran out. He ran back in two minutes later, panting. “Croconaw! Can’t forget him!” And out he ran again, throwing a Pokéball at Jay as he passed.

Opening it, Cyndaquil emerged, squeaking cheerfully as usual. Once again, it didn’t seem injured by the battle, nor were its spirits dampened. “Hello you. You battled well, but now it’s time to head to bed, I think.” Standing up, he picked up his rucksack in one hand and Cyndaquil in the other, resting the small Pokémon in his arms. Back in his room, he left Cyndaquil to curl up on the bed while he changed into his pajamas, went to brush his teeth, (having promised his mother he wouldn’t forget) and then as an afterthought, he went down to the laundry room and piled his clothes in.

Returning to his room, he turned off the lights, except for one small lamp in the corner. He always told himself that he wasn’t afraid of the dark, but the total absence of all light was disconcerting. He settled down, facing away from the dim glow, trying to sleep, but he was hindered by the same old anxieties returning. Could he cut it as a trainer? Would he ever win a battle? Could he even hope to achieve a badge? He drifted off fitfully, whilst Cyndaquil dozed peacefully at the bottom of the bed.
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I probably play the ol' self-doubt thing too much, but there's nothing like being a seething mass of emotion under a thin veneer of cool.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - REORGANISED, start from the top and read!

1) I loved the integration of off-topic humor at, "It was a great hoody."
2) You capture tones perfectly. "As he explained, 'we're here, that's there, let's follow this squiggly line'."
3) Too quick capture of Spearow, felt rushed.
4) Exciting escape of NidoKing!
5) I loved your description of the PCenter. It's nice and simple! There was so much to explain, (i.e. what it is, how it works, the whole rooming sitch,) but you didn't blink and just plunged along, letting the story explain for you.
6) Average description of the battle, I like the clincher about Jay's worries.

So far so good!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - REORGANISED, start from the top and read!

You really want my battles to be longer, huh? ;) Well, I might go back and might them longer, but it's just that for want of a better explanation, Cyndaquil's currently pretty sucky. If you remember the gym battled before I deleted it, that was longer, because Cyndaquil was tougher and learnt a new move midway through. But enough excuses. Here's another bit. It was originally with the bit above, but I cut it off to keep both parts at a better length.
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It felt like he’d only just gotten off to sleep when Jay woke up several hours later to a loud “thump”. The first thing he noticed was that the lights were out. Not just the lamp he’d left on, but the battlefield floodlights, and every room on the other side of it was totally dark. Resolving to investigate, Jay stepped out of bed, tripped over his rucksack, and fell over. Cursing under his breath, he found the bedclothes and moved his hands over it until a probing finger poked Cyndaquil.

Like Jay, Cyndaquil didn’t like rude awakenings either. Looking at Jay with a hurt expression, it squeaked mournfully. “Sorry buddy, but something’s not right. Can you provide some light please.” Obligingly, but with some reluctance, Cyndaquil yawned and ignited its flame. Flickering light illuminated the small room, and Jay reached for the two Pokéballs that he’d removed from his jeans before washing them. Remembering about his new torch from the Pokémart, Jay rummaged inside his rucksack and removed it, flicking it on. The powerful yellow-white light made things much easier to see. Motioning for Cyndaquil to head to the door and stay quiet, Jay pulled it open.

Stepping silently out onto the landing, Jay turned and headed along the corrider back towards the reception. Part of him didn’t know what he was doing or why he was doing it, but he had a feeling that something wasn’t right. At the very least, there could be a powercut that needed to be reported. But that didn’t explain the noise that had awoken him. Just ahead of him, he noticed a door open. Quickly, he flicked his torch off and flattened himself against a wall, Cyndaquil following suit and extinguishing the flame on its back.

“Is someone there? I’m a trainer, what’s going on?” A girl’s voice whispered inquiringly. Jay didn’t see the point in hiding from someone like him, and switched his torch back on.

“Hi. I’m Jay, I’m a trainer too. I’m just back down the hall. I heard a noise, and I think the power’s out, so I was going to have a look around” he whispered back.

“Me too. My name’s Emily, by the way. Let’s keep on going. You got a Pokémon with you?” Cyndaquil ignited its flame once again, with added vigour this time, clearly hoping to impress. “Ah, a Cyndaquil. Nice. Me, I brought something a little bigger…” Indicating the door that was ajar behind her, she opened it wider and a large purple snake-like Pokémon slithered out, hissing enquiringly at Jay. “Easy, they’re fine. Stay sharp though.”

“An Arbok, right? Wish I had my ‘dex with me now.” The two trainers and their Pokémon continued down the hall slowly, but they didn’t encounter any other trainers. “Probably heavy sleepers, or they’re just ignoring the powercut.” Jay suggested in a whisper. Shining his torch at the door to his left, he read the words “Laundry Room”. Pushing the door open, the four saw that all of the machines were off, their LED displays dead. Opening the machine that he’d put his clothes in, he found them dry. “Power can’t have been off too long, my stuff’s dry. Let’s go, I guess. Oh, hang on.” He reached into the washer, and pulled on his hoody, zipping it up as he walked back into the hall. It’s hard to feel like a Pokémon Master in your pyjamas.

Looking at Emily a touch sheepishly, he noticed that she’d put on a skirt over her pyjama shorts, although she was still wearing what he assumed was the top half of the pyjamas, a tank top. “Well, between the two of us, we’re fully dressed.” Jay grinned, and he saw Emily smile out of the corner of his eye. They came into view of the reception desk, and both trainers stopped dead.

Two men in black outfits were just visible in the doorway of the infirmary. They seemed to be busy stacking and carrying crates. The door itself had been ripped open, and one of the glass panes of the front doors had been smashed out. A Gastly and a Lairon prowled nearby. Emily motioned for Jay to turn off the torch, and he did. “Looks like thieves, I guess they used the Lairon to get in, and the Gastly to keep Nurse Joy asleep.”

“Possibly…” Jay conceded “But what do we do now?”

“We fight them, of course. What else can we do? Run and get someone else? We’ll get caught before we even make it out. Come on! Arbok, use pois-”

“Wait!” Jay hissed frantically. Let me make the first move, Cyndaquil knows Smokescreen. It’ll give us more of a surprise.”

Emily nodded, smiling grimly. “Alright, good call. Let’s do this.”

Jay took a deep breath, unwilling to believe what he’d got himself into just by wandering out of his room to see if there was a problem. He wondered if now was a good time to tell the girl that he’d never won a battle, and that he’d only been a trainer for two days, but decided against it. Never seemed like a better time. “Okay Cyndaquil, Smokescreen! Get it nice and thick.” Spewing out thick fog, Cyndaquil watched as Arbok slithered stealthily into the cloud and used Poison Fang.

The two burglars looked around in alarm as they saw purple darts shoot out of a cloud of smoke and hit their Pokémon. This was quickly followed by a powerful Ember from Cyndaquil, who then leapt at the Gastly, using Quick Attack. Unfortunately, it shot straight through the gaseous form, and was then butted away heavily by the Lairon. Skidding back to its feet, Cyndaquil reared up defiantly, but before it could attack Emily called out a command, and Arbok hissed fiercely, hitting Gastly with an Iron Tail that knocked it out.

That left the Lairon, whose eyes narrowed, darting from snake to mouse, waiting for them to attack. Ordered forward by its owner, the Lairon lumbered towards Cyndaquil, intending to use Metal Claw. Dodging swiftly, Cyndaquil tackled the armoured Pokémon, knocking it off balance. Arbok struck with Thunder Fang, and bit down hard with glittering yellow fangs, causing Lairon to bellow in pain. Then, flame burning bright on its back, it opened its mouth and shot another scorching Ember at the stunned Steel-type. It sank into unconsciousness, leaving the burglars defenceless.

The two trainers exchanged a smile. Turning to Arbok, Emily said “Wrap them up, nice and tight. If they struggle, give them a nip, nothing too hard.” Reaching into a pocket, she threw another Pokéball up and a black and white bird emerged, squawking noisily. “Go get help, Staravia.” The bird flew out of the shattered door, cawing high-pitched shrieks.

Jay had wondered over to the crates. “Pokémon food and medicine” he said quietly. “Some people are just so da-”

“Yeah.” Emily had turned around, and called to Jay. “Turn your torch around here, will you.” Jay did so, turning to face the corridor that led to the guest rooms. Ten or more trainers were standing there, curious. Most of them had a Pokémon next to them, or in the case of one boy, a Swablu perched on his head. Jay looked from pyjama’d trainers to their Pokémon. Some of them he recognised, like Flaaffy, Bayleef and Teddiursa. Others had Pokémon he didn’t recognise. “If only I had my Pokédex.”

Police Officers soon turned up, ducking through the hole made by Lairon. Quickly, they removed the burglars from Arbok’s custody, and the Pokémon from the custody of the burglars. Power was restored, and the town’s Officer Jenny came over and took some statements, but Jay left most of the talking to Emily, occasionally nodding or agreeing. Nurse Joy had been awoken, unharmed, and she had babbled thanks at the two for saving her medicine. Jay had said, awkwardly, that it was no problem. He could feel the stares of the watching trainers on the back of his neck, and he wished he could be among them, whispering and murmuring and speculating. He’d never intended to engage a couple of burglars in open combat. Still, he did feel quite good. After all, he’d saved a bunch of medicine that was certainly needed more here than wherever it would have been sent had it been stolen. He’d gotten two criminals off the streets too, or so Jenny had told him.

It was past midnight by the time the police had left, and Jay was exhausted. Most of the uninvolved trainers had drifted back away to bed, and he longed to join them. Emily, who had been talking to Nurse Joy, bade her good night, and walked back towards Jay, nodding in the direction of their rooms. They didn’t speak as they made their way along the corridor. Jay didn’t know what to say anyway. “So, we were nosy and ended up fighting off some robbers, wasn’t that fun?” just sounded stupid. Two doors before Jay’s room, Emily stopped. “This is me. It’s been an interesting night, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow morning before I set off. Goodnight.”

“G’night!” Jay replied, smiling. Then he went to his room and let himself in. Dropping his hoody on the floor, he collapsed onto the bed and was asleep as his head hit the pillow.
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Not sure I know where to go from here, so let's just improvise!
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - REORGANISED, start from the top and read!

Nice bit again. I do think however, that in the future focus on bringing out traits of characters, no matter how small they might be. The burglars said nothing basically, and their presence was solely for the evil Pokemon.

But interesting new character addition.

I currently rate this entire fanfic at a 7/10! Good work, keep it up.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - REORGANISED, start from the top and read!

I agree with Bulbabuddy. And I liked the Donphan bit.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Leaving Ivyville

Thanks both. Bulba, I added the burglary scene just so I can get jay interacting with someone else, I need to explore his personality more. Chiraami, thanks. That bit will return in due time, but probably very different. Until then, make do with this bit... ;)
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Blearily awaking to the sound of an alarm clock, Jay flailed an arm that would have knocked the alarm onto the floor, turning it off… if he were at home. However, he was in a guest room in Ivyville Pokémon Centre, and his flailing hand swept two Pokéballs onto the floor instead. Two flashes of light later, and Spearow was attacking Cyndaquil, issuing piercing squawks as it attempted to land a hit on the nimble fire mouse, which ducked and dodged across the room, squeaking crossly. Although usually of a laid-back disposition, Cyndaquil was about as good at early mornings as Jay, and soon lost its temper, spurting smoke at Spearow and then smacking it with a Quick Attack.

It is impossible to go back to sleep once two Pokémon start fighting under, above and on top of your bed, so Jay lost his temper too. Bringing down Spearow with a well-aimed pillow, he flipped his covers back over Cyndaquil, temporarily trapping it. “Enough.” He said icily, retrieving the Pokéballs from the floor and returning both Pokémon to them. He turned around and turned off the alarm clock (which he didn’t even remember setting) that was on the opposite side to what he was used to. Getting out of bed, he yawned and stretched, before heading to the bathroom. He just hoped that he’d be less conspicuous after last night’s affairs if he left his hoody off for now.

Having brushed his teeth, showered (but not simultaneously) and studiously avoided contact with the other people who were up, he stopped by the laundry room to grab his clothes and then headed back to his room. Dressing quickly, hoody and all, he attached the Pokéballs to his belt and headed down to the lobby. Ignoring the occasional stare, he strode over to the vending machine and somehow ended up eating what appeared to be cold potatoes and a small pizza for breakfast, with a strawberry milkshake. The small pictures really were quite misleading. He let out his two Pokémon, and fed them some Pokémon food from another vending machine, shouting “no!” at Spearow every time he saw the beady eyes settle on Cyndaquil or anyone else in the Pokémon Centre’s lounge area.

Once everyone was fed, Jay left the centre, heading back over to the Pokémart to say his goodbyes to Claude. Despite having had less sleep than he would have liked, he was in a good mood. The weather looked promising; barely a cloud in the sky and it was pleasantly warm even at this early hour. It wasn’t too humid, but there was definitely potential stickiness to come. Jay made a mental note to refill his water bottles when before he left, too. He’d left Cyndaquil and Spearow out of their Pokéballs for the trip across town, even though he still had to keep shouting “No!” and “Leave it!” at his troublesome bird. Still, Spearow’s flying abilities seemed to be improving, at least. And Cyndaquil having more practice was hardly a bad thing.

Still, Jay felt that his Pokémon being obedient to him was more important than strength. So it came to pass that on the journey across town he scolded Cyndaquil for attacking Spearow four times. He shouted at Spearow twenty five times. Arriving at the door to the Pokémart, it opened to reveal Claude, grinning broadly. “Training’s going well, I see” he jeered good-natured, watching Spearow swoop down to attack Cyndaquil for the twenty-sixth time.

“Yeah. But in all fairness, it stops when I shout at it. It didn’t use to, it’d just ignore me. That’s progress, I guess.” Jay grinned sheepishly. “You up for another battle before I go on?” He added hopefully.

“No can do mate, I’m meant to be busy doing stuff, you know how it is. We’ll battle again soon though, and you can show me if you’ve learnt anything. You’ll do great. Heh, I heard about your little adventure last night too. Sounds like you downplayed your activity in the report, because if I know you, you don’t leave other people to do your work for you. Don’t be shy man, being a trainer’s as much about image and personality as it is having your Pokémon bashing away at each other. So, you’re heading towards Cherrygrove now, right?”

“Yeah, I’m taking the main route, although I might take a few detours through some caves, see if I can catch anything.”

“Well, best of luck. Keep in touch, all Pokémon Centres have phones, so give me a buzz some time.”

Suddenly, Jay’s face fell. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I really should phone Mum, can’t believe I forgot last night. Oops.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. Tell her you got there late, or something. Relate your tale of the rampaging Nidoking or something, that’ll impress her.”

“More like terrify her into ordering me home, ahaha!”

The two friends laughed, and then parted company with a formal handshake. Well, as formal as you can get whilst finger-snapping, dancing and counting under your breath to synchronize the difficult moves. As the two stepped back, the difference between them was striking; Jay wore dark, muted colours, but Claude was attired in brighter clothes. Both were grinning though, and Jay turned away with a final wave. Cyndaquil squeaked a farewell, and Spearow attempted to attack Claude’s light brown hair, but was waved away and shouted at for its efforts.

Jay found him back at the Pokémon centre before he knew it; he’d spent the whole return journey in a daydream, only emerging occasionally to stop Spearow from causing trouble. He was already missing his friend, and the friendly rivalry that seemed to have developed. Truth be told, he was quite glad he hadn’t had to have a rematch, he needed more time to train.

Stepping through the boarded-up doors to the Pokémon Centre’s lobby, he headed for a phone. Punching in the number to his home back in Redwood Town, he absent-mindedly brushed his hair under his hat and hoped that his teeth were cleanish. The phone beeped for a few seconds and then Jay’s mother popped up on the screen. She smiled when she saw him, and launched into a mother tirade of questions and reminders. Jay’s smile stayed fixed, and he phased out, responding every now and then with a “Yes” or “of course”. Once he judged the interrogation to be over, he started talking about his brief journey, just omitting the bits were he lost battles or did something she’d consider dangerous. He also didn’t mention his Pokémon, which were wearily watching each other nearby. He knew she probably wouldn’t be very interested. Therefore, it was quite a short description.

“So yeah, it’s been fun so far. Sorry I didn’t call last night, but I got here quite late and then I spent last night chatting to Claude and…”

Jay’s mother smiled understandingly. “Don’t worry about it. To be honest I wasn’t expecting a call so soon. Missing home already?”

“Well, not exactly.” Jay chucked. “Missing you, but that’s why I’m phoning.” Flattery achived, his mother smiled even more.

“Well, I have to be going, have a nice journey. Just remember you can pack in at any time and head back home, I won’t mind.” There was a hint of suggestion there, but Jay ignored it good-naturedly.

“I’m going to get going too. Bye, love you.”

“Love you too sweetie!” The phone went dead, and Jay replaced the receiver on its base gently, before heading back upstairs to fetch his rucksack, taking the opportunity to put his map in his pocket for easy reference later. Checking nooks and crannies of his room to ensure that he hadn’t forgotten anything, he closed the door to his first guest room of his journey for the final time.

Back down in the lobby, Jay had filled up all of his water bottles and given his Pokémon a quick drink before they set off. Heading up to the reception desk, he handed his room key back to Nurse Joy, who smiled when she recognised him. “Well, I’m off, it’s been great staying here.”

“No problem, glad you enjoyed your stay in Ivyville. And… about last night. Thank you. You saved a lot of Pokémon when you stopped that medicine from being stolen. Have a safe journey!”

Smiling solemnly, Jay left the Pokémon Centre and turned out in the opposite direction to the way he’d come in, following a signpost to Cherrygrove City. As he did, he bumped into a large Arbok that was coming his way. “Aargh, sorry.” Jay babbled hastily, and then he recognised it. He also recognised Emily, who was standing next to it. Greeting her warmly, he flipped out his Pokédex. “Arbok, the Cobra Pokémon. Transfixing prey with the face-like pattern on its belly, it binds and poisons the frightened victim.” “Nice. So Emily, nice to run into you, I’m just leaving now. It’s been great meeting you. Fancy a battle?” He ended, half-joking. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Spearow fix a beady eye on Arbok.

Before he needed to shout, however, Spearow backed off. Jay breathed out. He really hadn’t wanted to take the little bird in to be treated for poison infection. Oblivious to his Spearow, Emily smiled and said quietly “I battled with you last night, and it was excellent. I don’t need to battle against you to know you’re good. How long have you been a trainer? And if you don’t mind, how many badges have you got?”

Jay grimaced slightly, and mumbled “well… as it happens, I’ve only been a trainer, eh… three days now. So yeah, no badges, and just these two Pokémon.”

Emily gaped. “Wow. I thought you’d been going way longer than that. You’ve got skills. Me, I’ve been through Kanto and got eight badges from there. Here, I’m on my fourth. I’m heading up to Blackthorn soon, actually. Hoping for number five, it should be a good battle.”

“Well, good luck with that. It’s going to be a while before I get to Violet City, but I’ll be training hard.”

“Best of luck to you too, maybe we’ll meet again someday. Get your rear in gear and get into the Silver Conference. Then I’ll give you a battle!” Smiling, she reached forwards and hugged Jay, who returned the embrace, feeling slightly embarrassed.

So Jay parted with an old friend and met a new friend, and strode away into the early morning sun along with his two Pokémon. Ahead of him were rolling hills that slowly morphed into mountains, through which tunnels and caves ran deep. Beyond that was his next destination, Cherrygrove City.
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Et voila. Nothing massively exciting, it's just that I can't stand loose plot ends, so I find myself obsessively making sure that I mentioning stuff like refilling water bottles and stuff like that.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Leaving Ivyville

I Like the improved chapter length.
Actually, lol, I went back to try to find some little thing wrong, but I really couldn't. Improvement!

I'm excited for more.

EDIT: TO clarify, I could find things wrong, however at this point I would like to play the role of the passive reader. Just for a bit
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Jay's first win.

Yays, glad you liked it. Here's a more interesting segment. A nice long battle too. Well, I think it's long. Let me know what y'all think. ;P
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Cartography was not Jay’s forte. It was late afternoon and he was fairly sure he’d gone the wrong way sometime after lunch. “Let me see…” he murmured to himself, hunched down by the roadside and poring over the map. “I started here, then followed this squiggly line up here, and then -” he turned the map through ninety degrees “I think I went up here. Or was it here? Maybe it was this squiggly line. But that’d take me to a forest, and I’m up a big hill near some mountains…”

This continued for some time. Having set off from Ivyville early in the morning, Jay had made good progress all morning, since there was only one trail to follow. However, he’d stopped for lunch and shortly after had come to a junction. The signpost pointed to Cherrygrove City, which was his destination. He followed it, and for a few more hours the journey passed as normal. But soon the road had forked again, and this time all that remained of the sign was a rotting post. Jay’s Spearow hadn’t been much help, not really grasping the concept of scouting the area. Instead, it had settled down to perch on the old signpost. Jay’s Cyndaquil reappeared in a panting white blur; he had sent it to scout ahead, and it had used Quick Attack to boost its already impressive speed. Gratefully accepting a bowl of food from Jay, it looked up in between greedy mouthfuls and shrugged with an embarrassed expression.

Jay sighed. “Well, you did your best. Thanks.” He returned to the map, trying to work out if he really was lost or if he just couldn’t read maps properly. Neither prospect appealed to him. He was distracted by a loud caw from Spearow. Jay looked up, and saw that Spearow had spotted a yellow, vaguely humanoid Pokémon that appeared to be asleep. It was resting against the bottom of the rotten sign, and had apparently spooked Spearow into wakefulness. Cyndaquil had looked up from its meal too, watching the newcomer with curiosity. Jay had no idea what it was, and how it had gotten to a spot that he had been looking at less than a minute ago. He stood up, shouted at Spearow to stay there! and consulted his Pokédex. “Abra, the Psi Pokémon. It senses impending attacks and teleports away to safety before the actual attacks can strike.”

“Impressive… Spearow, use Peck!” Obediently, the little bird swept down, beak glowing silver. Just before the attack would have hit, the psychic Pokémon vanished with a faint pop, without even opening its eyes. “Looks like it teleported away, nice try though.” Disgruntled, Spearow returned to its makeshift perch. For the third time, Jay tried to navigate the map, muttering a constant stream of curses and unfavourable comments about the field of cartography in general.

It was Cyndaquil who alerted Jay to the next visitor, a boy running frantically towards him. Squeaking curiously, it waved at the oncoming figure, who slowed to a halt, bend double. He was about Jay’s age, dressed in bright yellow clothes and sweating heavily. Wordlessly, Jay passed the newcomer a bottle of water, which the panting figure took. Drinking quickly, he soon stopped panting and stood back up. “Have you seen an Abra? I’ve lost mine, it teleported away and I’ve no idea where it went.”

“Um… yeah. Kinda. It popped up here about ten minutes ago, but I sent my Spearow to attack it, and it vanished. I didn’t realise it had already been captured. Um… sorry.”

Instead of becoming more upset, as Jay had expected, the boy brightened up. “That’s good, it’ll probably pop back here. Maybe if we move off the road a bit, into this field it’ll return sooner.” Obligingly, Jay picked up his rucksack and Cyndaquil’s food bowl, and moved into the knee-high grass by the side of the road. Crouching down, the two boys began to talk. “So, I’m Artie, I’m a trainer from Cherrygrove. I caught this Abra a few days ago, but it’s being pretty disobedient, and keeps teleporting away every time I let it out of its Pokéball.”

“Cool. I’m Jay, I just started my journey, these are my two Pokémon, Cyndaquil and Spearow- don’t peck him!- and I’m heading toward Violet City now. In fact, I’m going via Cherrygrove. Um… which way is it?”

Chuckling, Artie pointed at the left-most trail. “Just keep following that track, you’ve still got a long way to go. There’s not much between here and there, just a few days of quiet, empty fields and mountains and caves. Lovely stuff, if you ask me. You think you’re ready for Falkner? He’s the flying-type leader, and your little birdie there doesn’t look so great at taking orders” he added, sneering slightly.

“Yeah, I’m working on it. What about you, fancy a battle? I assume you have more Pokémon than just a disobedient Abra, right?” Jay countered.

Artie grinned. “Oh definitely. I mostly focus on Psychic types. Once Abra returns, I’ll battle you, if you’re really up for it. In fact, I’ve got a Pokémon I’m training up that might benefit.”

The two carried on talking and waiting, pausing only as Jay returned his Pokémon to their Pokéballs to stop Spearow attacking Cyndaquil and to stop Cyndaquil from setting the entire field on fire. Artie was telling Jay all about Cherrygrove City when there was a pop and Abra re-appeared, eyes still closed, resting against the post.

“At last!” Said Artie, and he returned Abra to its Pokéball joyfully. “You ready for that battle now then?”

Standing on their improvised battlefield, which was in fact just a field, the two trainers faced one another. Simultaneously, the two picked Pokéballs and threw them out. “Cyndaquil, let’s go!” Out popped Jay’s Pokémon in a white flash, and it sat in front of him, patiently and calmly. Jay wished he felt that calm. He wanted a win, needed a win. A proper win against a fellow trainer, not just helping someone else clean up a few weak Pokémon.

“Meditite, you’re up!” Artie threw out his Pokéball, and a small blue figure appeared. Its head was white, with wide staring eyes, and it had the stance of a fighter. Jay consulted his Pokédex. “Meditite, the Meditate Pokémon. It always trains deep in mountains. It levitates when it heightens its spiritual power through meditation.”

“Interesting. Alright Cyndaquil, let’s get started. Smokescreen to Quick Attack, you know the drill!” Rearing up, flame ignited, Cyndaquil took a deep breath and began to billow out thick smoke. When it was hidden, it dropped back down to all fours and began to run, blurring with speed. In an instant it had covered the distance to Meditite and it sprang, knocking the little blue Pokémon back before it knew what had happened.

Artie yelled out a command. “Meditite, Focus Punch!” Fist glowing, Meditite swung at Cyndaquil, but Jay called out to dodge and the fire mouse obeyed, neatly ducking the blow and tackling the off-balance Meditite.

“Nice job Cyndaquil, now use Ember!” Cyndaquil obeyed, but Artie was ready for such an open attack, and called out “Reflect, now!” Meditite waved its hands and created a silvery, almost transparent barrier in front of it, and crouched behind it. As the flaming embers struck it, they bounced back, hurtling back towards Cyndaquil, who didn’t duck fast enough.

Luckily, a Cyndaquil is naturally flame-retardant, but it still took a beating from the flames, and from the Psychic energy imbued in the attack. Artie wasn’t going to lose the advantage, and called out “Psychic!” Meditite’s eyes glowed a deep, eerie blue and it raised its hands, which had also been consumed by a blue glow. With a brief flicking motion, Cyndaquil was thrown back as if shoved by invisible hands. Staggering back up with difficulty, it steadied itself on all four legs, shaking slightly.

“Cyndaquil, you’re doing great. You just need to get up close and hit him where your attacks can’t be deflected. Smokescreen to Quick Attack, again!” Obediently, Cyndaquil churned out more smoke, and then used it as cover to charge. This time, Artie was ready.

“Zen Headbutt! Wait for it… wait… Now!” Meditite leapt forward into the Smokescreen at the same time that Cyndaquil leapt out, and the two Pokémon collided. Meditite was knocked back furtherest because Cyndaquil had more momentum, but the little fire mouse still took a great deal of damage from the psychic headbutt. Both Pokémon lay prone, struggling to get up.

Cyndaquil reacted first, pulling itself back up, slowly and laboriously. On the other side of the field, Meditite was struggling back up too. “Cyndaquil, you’re doing brilliantly. See if you can finish this up with Ember!”

Squeaking noisily, Cyndaquil reared up onto its hind legs, and its flame flickered up defiantly. It opened its mouth, and bellowed out a torrent of flame. But it was not the dull orange of an Ember. It was bright and strong; yellow, orange and red flames in a powerful jet that soared rapidly towards Meditite, back on its feet.

There was panic in Artie’s eyes as he called out “Meditite, Reflect now!” Struggling, the meditate Pokémon obeyed, but the barrier was grey, thin and translucent. The flames burst through it like it was nothing, and impacted on Meditite’s body. It tumbled onto the grass, knocked into unconsciousness. “Meditite!” Artie shouted desperately, but the match was over.

Grinning broadly, Jay bent down to pick up Cyndaquil. “Nice work little guy, great stuff. And you learnt a new move. Flamethrower, right? Congratulations, your first win too!” Squeaking wearily but proudly, Cyndaquil settled down on Jay’s shoulder as he made his way over to Artie, who was kneeling beside his Pokémon.

He stood up as Jay approached, returning his Meditite to its Pokéball. “Great battle, you fought well.” The two shook hands, smiling.

“Thanks. You battled hard too. I hope your Meditite’s okay, it looked like a pretty hard hit it took at the end.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine” Artie said confidently. “But I’ll be at a Pokémon Centre by evening, I hope. And on that note, I really should get on. It’s been great meeting and battling you.”

“It’s been great! Good luck on your journey.”

“You too.” Artie turned away with a smile, and headed off on the road to Ivyville. Jay set off in the opposite direction, heading towards Cherrygrove City with a smile on his face and a win under his belt.
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Comments welcomed, as always.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Jay's first win.

Hmm... This one had problems to me. The main one being event-length. For example. the Abra appears, and disappears all very quickly. You didn't mention Spearow slamming into the ground if Abra really did teleport at that close range, or it expertly peeling off at the last second.

Also, the good bye between Artie and Jay was really four sentences. If you were to observe that encounter in reality, you would feel something is wrong, you know?

I don't know really how to explain this. I suppose its essentially detail?

BB. Keep going.
 
RE: Jay's Johto Journey - Jay's first win.

And I'm back. I've been on holiday since Friday, so pardon the delay.

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10

Making camp for the night, Jay looked around. The sun was slowly slipping down below the mountains ahead of him, casting deep, long shadows all around him. The long grass rustled peacefully, and the few trees nearby rustled their leaves gently. Far above him, a flock of Pidgey flapped gently across the sky, chirruping softly.

Dropping his rucksack, Jay scavenged for a few stones and sticks, arranging them into a small bonfire. Then he reached to his belt and released a Pokémon. Squeaking cheerfully, Cyndaquil bounded forward, eager to exercise. “Hello you! Can I get a little Flamethrower please, on the bonfire. Not too hard, I don’t want the whole field to go up. Remember the practice we did with Ember? That gentle, please.”

Using its new Flamethrower, Cyndaquil easily obliged, loosing a thin jet of flame at the wood, which lit up instantly. Giving the trainer a smug look, as if to emphasise the skill with which it could wield its new attack, Cyndaquil ran around the fire boisterously, clearly in good spirits after its first win earlier in the afternoon.

After Jay and the other trainer, Artie, had parted ways, Jay had pressed on along the path. Passing along seemingly endless fields, Jay had caught sight of several Pokémon – Sunflora, Ledyba and whole trees full of Pineco. Apart from being slightly tempted by the Pineco, Jay had decided not to catch any of them. Instead, he walked on, long strides bringing his destination ever closer. Stopping for a quick meal, he had soon pushed on, walking until the sun began to set.

Now he was hungry again, so he spread his floral picnic blanket out on the grass and sat down upon it, rummaging through his rucksack for sandwiches. Cyndaquil sniffed and sprang over, looking up at Jay and squeaking. Smiling, Jay filled a bowl of Pokémon food for the little mouse, and also released his other Pokémon.

Talons outstretched, Spearow swept down towards Cyndaquil, but as usual, Jay shouted “No!” Disappointed, Spearow landed next to Cyndaquil and began to share the food. Cyndaquil didn’t mind, being of a much more relaxed disposition than the mad little bird. “That reminds me,” said Jay, looking up from a sausage roll. “tomorrow, you need to work on not attacking the first thing you see.”

This was harder than it sounded. Spearow was not a particularly intelligent creature, and was basically a coiled spring that tended to go off in the direction of the closest thing it saw. It wasn’t going to change its most basic instincts instantly. However, Jay had an idea. It wasn’t much of one, but it was repetitive and easy to understand, which meant that after a few hundred tries Spearow might, just maybe, be able to understand it.

Awaking early, Jay leapt up, causing Cyndaquil to stir and squeak sleepily. “Good morning! How do you fancy helping me train our psychopathic little bird?” Cyndaquil squeaked again, more enthusiastically this time. It was the primary victim to Spearow’s assaults, and although it tended to avoid the attacks and even return fire, it was tiresome nonetheless. It sprang to its feet, followed shortly by Jay as he stepped out of the tent.

Two brief breakfasts later, Jay was ready to start the day’s training. Turning to Cyndaquil, he said “try and look appetising.” Then he threw Spearow’s Pokéball, and the tiny bird emerged, cawing noisily in the bright morning sunshine. As usual, its bright yellow eyes locked onto the first thing they saw that looked tasty. In this case, it was a small dark blue and beige fire mouse. It dived. “No!” Jay shouted, and recalled Spearow to its Pokéball. He waited a minute, and repeated the exercise, returning Spearow as it swept down towards Cyndaquil, talons outstretched.

A couple of hours and several hundred releases and returns later, Jay was walking along, still trying to drill the concept of not instantly disembowelling one’s opponent into Spearow’s thick skull. In all fairness, it was improving slightly. The terrain here was hilly and coarse, the fields populated mostly by weeds and nettles. Here and there some stout trees and plants flourished. Under one of these trees Jay sat down, followed by Cyndaquil. Spearow, in a worse temper than usual, swept down and landed heavily on his head. Cursing, Jay removed the hat and shook it upside down, eventually dislodging the angry bird. Sticking his hat back on, Jay said thoughtfully “Alright, you need to get rid of some of your built-up aggression. Fancy a battle against Cyndaquil? A fair fight might do you some good.” Spearow squawked harshly.

The battle was brief and one sided. Cyndaquil used its favoured opening combination, using Smokescreen to blind the little bird and then lunging at it with Quick Attack. However, Spearow proved quite adept at dodging Cyndaquil’s flamethrowers, impressing Jay. “Looks like all that flying practice has been helpful, nice job!” Swooping down with Fury Attack, the little bird had landed a few hits on Cyndaquil, but the little mouse was able to avoid the vast majority of them.

Suddenly, Jay remembered Cyndaquil’s fourth attack that he had never used. “Cyndaquil, use Leer!” Eyes glowing, it glared at Spearow, but it had no physical effect other than to slightly weaken the little bird. Jay shrugged. “Nice try. Spearow, Growl!” Once again, the move had no effect, so Jay promptly forgot about it.

The two Pokémon battled on, glowing beak against glowing, speeding body. Spearow was the first to tire. Cyndaquil took advantage of its lack of mobility to knock it out the sky with a well-aimed flamethrower. The scruffy bird dropped to the ground with a faint caw, and Jay returned it to its Pokéball after a few encouraging words. “That was a bit of a cheap shot” he said to Cyndaquil sternly. The little mouse shrugged and squeaked casually, clearly pleased with itself for winning.

The sun was high in the sky above them now, so Jay took a short rest and then had lunch. Then he had another nap, (“just resting my eyes”, he told Cyndaquil) and another hour slipped by. Soon he was back on the road again, once again using Cyndaquil as bait for Spearow and returning it if it swept.

Several hours later, Jay’s right arm was aching after holding out pressing the Pokéball’s button hundreds of times. However, he wasn’t bothered, because when he released Spearow now, it simply stayed in front of Jay instead of pouncing. Jay had tested the theory on Cyndaquil, his hat, and, feeling slightly guilty, on a passing Wurmple. All three had escaped unscathed.

Jubilantly, Jay offered Spearow his shoulder. Flying down and landing, he could feel its weight, and the pinpricks of the talons. He stroked its messy head cautiously. “Nice work today, I’m glad you’re being more obedient now.” Spearow responded by biting his finger. Jay withdrew his finger and sighed, smiling.

Trainer and Pokémon carried on walking, and by nightfall they had reached the mountains. Jay gazed up at the jagged peaks far above, and then back down to the large tunnels carved through the bottom. It all looked very imposing, but Jay knew that the only way was forwards.

“We’ll tackle this tomorrow.”
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