ok so my gf is really considering joining the military and i dont want her to and every time i ask her not to she get really mad shes currtently in our schools army ROTC what could i do to get her to change her mind cause i dont want her to go to basic training and then get deployed and risk getting hurt or killed i love her to much someone pleeeeeeeeeease help me
loved one wants to inlist
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Well, this is a tough one. Really, just try to keep talking to her, show her videos of people losing their loved ones, and tell her you love her to much, and if anything happened to her, then you wouldn't know what to do with your life. It may not always be the best option, but drama can work. Just keep trying to talk to her, if she gets mad, just drop it. But keep trying until:
A)You annoy her out of it
B) She finally accepts your please and doesn't enlist.
Sorry, I don't really know much about these situations, being 15 and all.
Well, this is a tough one. Really, just try to keep talking to her, show her videos of people losing their loved ones, and tell her you love her to much, and if anything happened to her, then you wouldn't know what to do with your life. It may not always be the best option, but drama can work. Just keep trying to talk to her, if she gets mad, just drop it. But keep trying until:
A)You annoy her out of it
B) She finally accepts your please and doesn't enlist.
Sorry, I don't really know much about these situations, being 15 and all.
first question, why are you getting in the way of what she wants to do. dont you think you are being kind of selfish?
also, just so ya know, she most likely wont be killed if she is sent off as its still a rule that females do not engage first. meaning, they are not sent directly to the firefights.
also, she'll only really be deployed if she is infantry, meaning, lowest level. it also greatly depends on her MOS.
also, just so ya know, she most likely wont be killed if she is sent off as its still a rule that females do not engage first. meaning, they are not sent directly to the firefights.
also, she'll only really be deployed if she is infantry, meaning, lowest level. it also greatly depends on her MOS.
Seth1789110 said:
Oh God where to begin... annoy her out of it? If you really love someone, "annoying them out of" something they obviously have a passion for isn't going to be an option. It's understandable that she's really stressed out about it if she's getting mad at you just for asking... you need to try and have a mutual discussion about it. Talk about your feelings, talk about her feelings, and a lot of the different issues involved, including the future state of your relationship. If you actually care about her, you will be empathetic with the issue from her perspective as well, and while you may not get the answer you really want, you will feel better overall about the one being made.
DO NOT SHOW HER VIDEOS OF PEOPLE LOSING THEIR LOVED ONES. What, you think she wants to leave just to be away from you? Her nerves are probably really high about the issue as well, and I'm sure trying to pressure her with danger would NOT help your situation. -_- Listen to r3skyline, and maybe relay to her some of the information that he is giving you.. for your relationship to strengthen, you're going to have to go through difficult times as well as easy ones.
Sorry if it's a bit difficult to see the message of everything I say, it's difficult to try and help someone and to criticize awful advice at the same time. :/ I know you guys are just trying to help, but help from the inexperienced really isn't helping anyone.
I realize that you love her and don't want things to happen to her, but in a devoted relationship, there's a level of trust that needs to be present.
If you feel that she's just being suckered in, try to persuade her not to go, but if she truly, wholeheartedly has her mind set at a passion for the military, then you've just got to trust her and let her go. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you respond if your girlfriend was trying to keep you from your dreams?
If you feel that she's just being suckered in, try to persuade her not to go, but if she truly, wholeheartedly has her mind set at a passion for the military, then you've just got to trust her and let her go. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you respond if your girlfriend was trying to keep you from your dreams?
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm sure you're very scared for her safety. I would be too. But remember, this is her choice. She's trying to do something honorable because she loves her country. Sometimes duty gets in the way of love. You two need to have a nice, long discussion about this whole thing. Just remember that this is her choice, and if she wants to put her life at risk for her country and because she loves what she believes in so much that she wants to protect YOU as well, then that's something to think about. We can't tell you or her what to do, and you can't tell her what to do. Please, though, talk to her. Let her know how you feel about this and how concerned you are. Maybe she'll understand that. But if she truly wants to enlist in the army, then I wouldn't stop her.
Just my advice.
Just my advice.
So you're going to try to control her decision? Sounds like a much lot easier way to lose her than through the military. Granted I don't have experience in people or relationships but trying to make them do something you want to do never sounds like a good idea.
Ignore my lack of experience if you want, but letting someone, within reason, do what you don't want them to is probably one of the strongest ways to show love.
Ignore my lack of experience if you want, but letting someone, within reason, do what you don't want them to is probably one of the strongest ways to show love.
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MylesPrower said:
thats just it her brother is sucking her into it she was gonna become a history teacher or art teacher but then he led her down a diffrent path and i do trust her but i love her to much to let her go
Galefail said:
shes doing it cause she sees her uncle who joined live such a great life but her bro is also tricking her saying its easy and stuff shes not even built for it shes really short and not the military type and with her uncle he didnt get where he is from the military but from doing so many running and cross country things plus she loves scottland more than the USA
INFERNAPE112892 said:
ok, you really are a selfish person.
who are you to say who is a military type and who isnt.
i know plenty of ppl in the army (because my father is AGR currently), who are short and women. they look like the mouse-type (you know, quiet) but are some of the coolest ppl ever.
basic, and AIT changes ppl. it brings out something from people they themselves never even thought they were.
the army is easy when you listen/pay attention to the chain.
seriously, just stop bugging her about it. if you truly loved/cared for her, you would support her.
^Pretty much what he said. XDpalkia dialga clash said:
I can't do anything else then agreeing with r3skyline. Of course, it must be a pain to let her go, but it's her life, who are you to decide about her choices? If she decides to chose to join the military, then it's her choice. You love her right? You want her to be as happy as possible right? Then you would let her make her own choices and let her join the military if that makes her happy. It's her life, not yours, if you really loved her you would accept that.
im not trying to tell you this to make myself feel big, im telling you this because i know EXACTLY how you feel as i went through the same thing. what ended up happening tho is that we drifted apart and i found someone better for me. xD
This would be a real mean reply: It's her choice to get shot when send out, not yours.
Anyways, I can't help you, no one can, it is and will always be her choice, how insane it may seem to some.
Anyways, I can't help you, no one can, it is and will always be her choice, how insane it may seem to some.
If you love her you will let her go if you don't you will stop and know that your level of love and trust will never be the same again. Also there is that little niggle about you destroying her dreams for your greed.
Like most of the people have said here, if you love her, you'll support her descision. If she sees that you're not supporting her, she'll probably end your relationship. You're just going to have to step back and let her make her decision, and you'll have to support it.
Things are not so black and white. You cannot support someone 100% of the time.
Not supporting someone does not mean you don't love them. Geez, guys. What really shows strength in a relationship is when you can tackle a disagreement and get through it. There should be some sort of common ground. Being able to speak up how you feel shows how close a relationship. You don't feel like you need to hold things back just to please the other person.
There is no clear cut answer here like so many of you seem to believe. It is also very easy to accuse the original poster and come to harsh conclusions when you are not a part of any situation like his.
Not supporting someone does not mean you don't love them. Geez, guys. What really shows strength in a relationship is when you can tackle a disagreement and get through it. There should be some sort of common ground. Being able to speak up how you feel shows how close a relationship. You don't feel like you need to hold things back just to please the other person.
There is no clear cut answer here like so many of you seem to believe. It is also very easy to accuse the original poster and come to harsh conclusions when you are not a part of any situation like his.
Yeah, totally agreeing with Medaforcer here. A persons love can be expressed in many ways, and this is one of them. It's not an act of selfishness if you don't want your partner to join the army, just an act of concern.
It's difficult to offer advice here, because it's a serious issue and we here on the forums don't really know the full story behind what's going on. If you are concerned for her safety and have properly considered the entire situation (as in, read up on how well people are treated in the army, the chances of her going off to fight in a war, etc), then by all means try to convince her to stay. However, there is a boundary here- if she is absolutely adamant about this and won't change her mind no matter what you say, there's little use in protesting, and you'll just have to suck it up, support her, and be damn proud your girlfriend is brave enough to do this.
It's difficult to offer advice here, because it's a serious issue and we here on the forums don't really know the full story behind what's going on. If you are concerned for her safety and have properly considered the entire situation (as in, read up on how well people are treated in the army, the chances of her going off to fight in a war, etc), then by all means try to convince her to stay. However, there is a boundary here- if she is absolutely adamant about this and won't change her mind no matter what you say, there's little use in protesting, and you'll just have to suck it up, support her, and be damn proud your girlfriend is brave enough to do this.
the way the OP was going about it was completely wrong and indeed selfish.bacon said:
proof? how about this long line
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