You don't have to wait for a contest to share a story with us; you can post up your fanfiction works in a new thread if you'd like. Any stories you decide to enter into the contest would need to be the right length and fit the provided theme anyway.
Hello again, and thank you all for waiting patiently for the official judging. Before I share the final results, I want to thank all of you for participating and helping to make our first Fanfiction Contest a success! We had some really great entries, and it was a pleasure reading them all. I hope you will continue to work and grow as writers and that you will consider joining the FFC again in the future.
In the spoilers below are my individual critiques for all entries, with the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners announced below. The winners are being passed onto the Badge Committee hopefully you all should receive your badges soon.
Unfortunately, for reasons beyond my control, the June FFC has been delayed. I've prepared a theme and will post the new contest as soon as I can, but it might be postponed as late as mid-July. When it does go live, the winners stories from this month will also receive a link from the front page, so it's something to look forward to. In the meantime, you all are welcome to post other stories here, chat in our writer's discussion, or whatever suits your fancy.
The next month's contest will also have a few changes, including a bit of an update to the judging rubric. If you have any suggestions for the contest, changes you'd like to see made, suggestions for new themes, etc., feel free to either post them here or send them to me via PM.
Green778
Creativity Within the Theme
Brother vs. Brother, a topic explored often in literature but rarely in the Pokémon world. I like the unique aspect such a personal struggle brings to the battle, and the overall importance of the theme of exploration vs. success. However, I'm kind of disappointed that we don't actually see much of the beginning of Logan's journey. We see him pick his starter, and then there's a sudden jump to a battle with the Champion with nothing in between. As a result, the beginning feels rather bland and too similar to a traditional Pokémon trainer starting off to really stand out much. 16/20
Plot and Characterization
I really like the dynamic between the brothers, and how we can get a good sense of their rivalry and differences even in the short time we have with them. The plot itself feels rather disconnected, though, a beginning and an end with no middle. For as much as the theme of the story is the importance of a Pokémon "journey", we don't actually get to see any of the journey itself. However, I do like how the theme is reinforced at the very end by ending the story without showing the winner of the battle, which is a nice touch. 17/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1200. Cutting it close! I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed to squeeze that in perfectly. Spelling is mostly on, but the story has a number of grammatical errors and poor wording choices. No single errors were particularly large or glaring, but enough small ones that it makes the story feel unpolished and awkward in places. 8/10
Total Score: 41/50
NoviceOfPokemon
Creativity Within the Theme
The premise of the story is very unique and engaging. However, it doesn't particularly mesh well with the theme. The backstory of "The Man" is the closest thing we have to a beginning Pokémon journey, but very little time is spent on it and the majority of the plot revolves around events happening in current time, or with later past events in The Man's life, such as the dual with his friend. 10/20
Plot and Characterization
There are hints at characterization, but not a lot of meat. We know what the characters do, but not why. More attention probably could have been given to character motivations if this "past" part of the plot was given more focus. Instead, the dual nature of the story serves to take away attention from both plots, and neither the past nor the present stories get much focus leaving the story very jumbled and difficult to follow as a whole (something that is exasperated by the poor grammar and writing style). The plot and characters of the story both could have used more time and effort to develop, making me feel the idea was a bit too ambitious to fit into the limited structure of the contest. 8/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1175. Unfortunately, the technical aspects of the story were very poor. There are multiple spelling and grammar errors throughout. Some sections are written so badly that it's difficult to understand what is being portrayed. Many parts in the story happen without proper explanation or description, so it becomes hard to follow the progression. If you would like a more detailed break-down of errors and problems, feel free to ask, and I would be happy to provide. 3/10
Total Score: 21/50
PKPokemon
Creativity Within the Theme
Giovanni is a nice, fun character to use as a foundation. Although he's been depicted different ways a few times throughout the games and anime, we rarely get to see much of his life when he was a young trainer himself. The story itself, though, is lacking in creativity. The entire first two-thirds of the story, which is the entire part of the story that actually deals with the contest's theme, is a boilerplate Pokémon journey about Giovanni getting a Pokémon and the Gym Badges, with nothing really unique about it aside starting with a non-starter Pokémon. Much of the text is devoted to boring mechanical information that should have been left out. Since Giovanni's early life is such an open slate, I would have liked to see more creativity put into his Pokémon journey as a trainer. 14/20
Plot and Characterization
The plot of the story is very sound with a nice progression. We get to see Giovanni's progression from a Pokémon Trainer to the Head of Team Rocket, and also the motivation to start it. However, Giovanni's personality and motivations aren't really delved into at all, something that becomes very noticeable at the very end of the story. Why did he disbelieve his father so strongly that he ordered his Pokémon to attack human beings? And why did his opinion about Pokémon flip around completely after that, even though it was the human members of Team Rocket that had had attacked him? There's a lot of ambiguity and confusion in these final scenes that could have been better explored, both to better satisfy the ending of the plot and also to explore Giovanni's characterization. 13/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 814. Your writing conventions could unfortunately use some work. Obviously, the most noticeable problem is the fact that there are no paragraph spacings, just a giant wall of text, which makes the story very difficult to read. There were also some spelling errors (mostly involving Pokémon), and many mixed up words. If you would like a more detailed break-down of errors and problems, feel free to ask, and I would be happy to provide. 4/10
Total Score: 31/50
PMJ
Creativity Within the Theme
The story of Jupiter's life in Team Galactic and her connection with Mars is definitely creative and fun, and a great way to look at these characters deeper than we can see them within the video games. However, it feels shoehorned into the contest's theme at best. The relationship between Jupiter and Mars is clearly the main theme of the story, and the story that you wanted to tell. At best, only the very beginning or the very end would count as a new trainer starting on their journey, the beginning because it actually is her beginning, the end because they're making a new beginning for themselves. However, neither of those sections are fleshed out at all. 13/20
Plot and Characterization
We don't get all too much characterization of the Galactic Admins in DPPt, and I really love how you'd added to their stories and personalities, fleshing them out while still making them feel like they're the same characters as the ones in games. The plot itself is also strong and concise, acknowledging the events in the game without focusing on them. The ending is a bit on the open side, but leaves you feeling satisfied and without any unanswered questions. 19/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1198. The technical aspects of the story were all very sound. Everything was well-written and balanced, with no noticeable errors. Since this is really the kind of section that I can only complain in, you don't get much detail here. 10/10
Total Score: 42/50
pokemon64
Creativity Within the Theme
Doing a crossover with Attack on Titan is certainly an interesting spin on a Pokémon trainer story, and I like how you tied the worlds together. However, the major theme and focus of the story is definitely more focused on using Pokémon to fight Titans rather than actually fitting into the contest theme of a new Pokémon Trainer starting their journey. Trenton's Pokémon journey is told very quickly through only a few sentences and the majority of the rest of the story takes place after he's already an established trainer. I also can't exactly give you good credit for creativity for just taking another anime and making a crossover rather than developing an original story of your own. 7/20
Plot and Characterization
The story tackles a pretty large plot, but with so much happening, a lot of things are left unexplained, such as how Hoopa managed to bring so many Titans, how Trenton could kill so many with little effect but then after he stops fighting them they dwindle, what his weapon is and why it's more effective than his team, etc. Then, the whole problem with Hoopa is resolved very quickly and easily. We also don't get much characterization for Trenton aside from his desire to destroy Hoopa and Titans, and also his bond with his Gallade. I would have like to see more motivation and personality given to his character. 11/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 905. Overall, your spelling and grammar is okay, with only a few errors. Using "pokemon" instead of "Pokémon" is the most common problem, with some capitalization problems and occasional spellings mistakes or poor word usage. Looking over your story one more time before submitting probably could have caught most of the issues. 8/10
Total Score: 26/50
Sleepy
Creativity Within the Theme
A reluctant trainer, very cute! This was certainly a nice spin on the provided theme, and a unique take on the idea of becoming a Pokémon Trainer. Throughout the Pokémon world we see people using and interacting with Pokémon in non-battling ways, though rarely is this concept explored much beyond the occasional side character. I only would have liked to see a bit more of the dynamic between Michael and Charmander and what their future would be like, since the end kind of feels more like him bringing home a pet without much of an actual impact on his life. 19/20
Plot and Characterization
The plot itself is straightforward and simple, not bad thing considering the word limit, just an observation. It was very nice and contained, with a firm if ambiguous ending. My biggest complaint is that I wish Michael were given a bit more characterization aside from "he doesn't want to be a Pokémon Trainer". Obviously this aspect is important since it sets up the theme and conflict within the story, but I would have liked to see more insight into his desires and motivations, such as why he wants to stay working at the farm. 17/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1197. The technical aspects of the story are very good for the most part. The only real issue I have is the beginning section which seems to have some tense confusion, though it's minor and quickly resolved after the break. 10/10
Total Score: 46/50
TheFearsomeFroakie
Creativity Within the Theme
The accidental capture of a decidedly unusual starter Pokémon; I love it! A very unique premise to start off someone's Pokémon journey. My only real complaint is that we don't actually see anything else of google's beginning aside from the capture; one moment he's sitting in the mud and the next he's fighting the Champion. The remainder of his Pokémon journey is hinted it at a little in the descriptions of the rest of his team, but otherwise glossed over. 18/20
Plot and Characterization
The plot kind of jumps around. It feels more like the description of 2 individual scenes rather than a single coherent whole, and the entire story progression is kind of choppy. I like that we get some characterization with google's background, and despite the brevity of the story, we get a feel for his personality in his words and reactions. Though, if he's always wanted to be a trainer, why go to (and fail out of) college and only finally catch a Pokémon accidentally? There some gaps here that could have been better explored. 12/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1099. Overall, the spelling and grammar is sound. However, the beginning section has a lot of tense confusion, sometimes jumping between past and present tense. There are also a couple of long, awkward sentences, and some areas that could have been condensed or removed to allow for space to include more important things, such as the character development you bemoaned having to cut. 9/10
Total Score: 39/50
Vom
Creativity Within the Theme
I always felt Zinnia could have used a lot more attention and characterization than the scant bits we got during the too-short Delta Episode, so she seems like a perfect in-universe character to explore. However, the story doesn't really fit into the theme at all. Zinnia traveled back in time, but she's still a strong, established character who's already had many Pokémon adventures (and is even using a Pokémon she's had for a long while), not a new Pokémon Trainer just starting out. The story itself has a very nice, creative aspect, it's just attached to the wrong contest theme. 10/20
Plot and Characterization
Since we're all familiar with Zinnia you didn't really have to create a personality for her, but you really worked well with the personality she shows. I can definitely see the Zinnia from ORAS acting, talking, and responding the exact ways she does in the story, making it feel very true to her character. The plot itself is also intriguing. My biggest complaint is that it feels like the prologue to a larger story rather than a self-contained short story. I would have liked to see a proper, firm ending instead of a bunch of unanswered questions. 17/20
Writing Conventions Word Count: 1043. The technical aspects of the story were very sound, aside from a couple minor errors here and there. The story was very dialogue-heavy with minimal description, which serves to make it feel more like part of the games, but the lack of detail makes it hard to really get into the story deeply. This isn't something that you actually get docked points for since the current version of this judging category is only focused on spelling and grammar for the most part, but it's something to keep in mind for future contests since the judging categories will be tweaked a bit. 10/10
Total Score: 37/50
3rd Place:Green778 with 41/50 points. 2nd Place:PMJ with 42/50 points. 1st Place:Sleepy with 46/50 points.
I understand your criticism about not having the story fleshed out. In hindsight, I suppose that including so much back story was a little unnecessary for the purposes of this contest, but it was fun regardless.
Congratulations to everyone I would like to thank every reader and the judges The competition was a great pleasure and I would really like to participate again. July seems to far ...
Oh wow, with all the fantastic submissions this contest had, I didn't really expect to place, let alone get first! I'm greatly humbled and happy that I could write something that people seemed to enjoy.
Thank you Athena for all your hard work in organizing the contest as well as judging and thank you to all the other contestants for submitting such great works to read. Can't wait for the next competition!
Any stories you decide to enter into the contest would need to be the right length and fit the provided theme anyway.
