Writing My Pokemon Fanfic (On Hiatus)

RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Max Shade IV said:
Length is where you can start improving. At least two pages typed in Microsoft Word is good. I strive for five as much as possible, but am content with two. In Chapter Two, your apostrophies were replaced with question marks, which i'm assuming is some kind of mishap on the forums part. Be sure to use imagery. When you come into a town, explain EVERY detail. The closer attention you pay to detail, two things happen:

1. The reader becomes more interested because they can easily picture the scene you are painting.

2. It adds length to the chapter.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Yeah, i am glad that there is finally a reader that gets those question marks are a glitch i keep trying to fix. I have decided that next time I write a fanfic, since each capter is too short, each of my posts will be 10% of a whole chapter. Do you like the storyline? (most people hate my writing style, but I mostly want to know what they think of the story)
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Oliv17 said:
Max Shade IV said:
Length is where you can start improving. At least two pages typed in Microsoft Word is good. I strive for five as much as possible, but am content with two. In Chapter Two, your apostrophies were replaced with question marks, which i'm assuming is some kind of mishap on the forums part. Be sure to use imagery. When you come into a town, explain EVERY detail. The closer attention you pay to detail, two things happen:

1. The reader becomes more interested because they can easily picture the scene you are painting.

2. It adds length to the chapter.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Yeah, i am glad that there is finally a reader that gets those question marks are a glitch i keep trying to fix. I have decided that next time I write a fanfic, since each capter is too short, each of my posts will be 10% of a whole chapter. Do you like the storyline? (most people hate my writing style, but I mostly want to know what they think of the story)
Click to expand...

I like the plot you're trying to set up. The begining of a story is always the hardest, so if you can get the story rolling, it should turn out good.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Max Shade IV said:
Oliv17 said:
Max Shade IV said:
Length is where you can start improving. At least two pages typed in Microsoft Word is good. I strive for five as much as possible, but am content with two. In Chapter Two, your apostrophies were replaced with question marks, which i'm assuming is some kind of mishap on the forums part. Be sure to use imagery. When you come into a town, explain EVERY detail. The closer attention you pay to detail, two things happen:

1. The reader becomes more interested because they can easily picture the scene you are painting.

2. It adds length to the chapter.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Yeah, i am glad that there is finally a reader that gets those question marks are a glitch i keep trying to fix. I have decided that next time I write a fanfic, since each capter is too short, each of my posts will be 10% of a whole chapter. Do you like the storyline? (most people hate my writing style, but I mostly want to know what they think of the story)
Click to expand...

I like the plot you're trying to set up. The begining of a story is always the hardest, so if you can get the story rolling, it should turn out good.
Click to expand...

thanks, (i take all of the comments people leave to heart, if you had the time to write me a comment i will read it and respond)
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

does anyone know if you can change the title of a thread? I want to change the name to "Darkrai Dynasty"
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

Omg, in my next chapter Pokemon talk (only with each other, but I translate it to English.)
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(That’s right! I needed to translate Pokemon!)
Chapter 4
__ Dylan and Chris stayed on Route 751 so Chris could train. Dylan sat down at a tall oak tree waiting for Chris to finish up. Chris wandered into a field with high grass. “I better be ready for the Pokemon I fight,” Chris said nervously, “Go Pidgey.” Pidgey was circling around in the sky, similar to how some Pokemon chase their tails. “Come on Pidgey. Let’s find a Pokemon.” They wandered out further into the field. Pidgey, still being very weak from its battle with Gible, sat on Andrew’s head. “Wow, I thought there were lots of Pokemon here, maybe just not in this field. I wonder what is going on with Dylan.”
________________________________________________________ *
__ Dylan was still by the tree, only he was asleep. Piplup had escaped from its Pokeball and was helping Gible and Snorunt out. Piplup took the two Pokeballs, and walked away. He began beating the Pokeballs on a rock. They opened, and all of Dylan’s Pokemon were free! Piplup lead the two away from the rock, and Dylan, and they went into some tall grass. Snorunt was protesting the three leaving Dylan but wasn’t heard.
__ “Piplup, Gible! We shouldn’t leve Dylan!” Snorunt exclaimed, in Pokemon language, “Where are we going?”
__ “If you must know,” Piplup said proudly, “We are going to see that Pidgey in action!”
__ Gible wasn’t very excited. “I have beaten that Pidgey! It isn’t very hard. It isn’t hard at all.”
__ “I am going back to Dylan!” Snorunt exclaimed. He waddled away muttering about his anger.
__ “We don’t need him! Let’s go!” Piplup said, not caring about Snorunt. He knew that Gible was having second thoughts, but dismissed the thought of Gible’s thoughts.
________________________________________________________ *
__ Chris and Pidgey had been wandering around the field for almost an hour. Dylan must be worried, Chris thought, I sure hope I can hurry up and find a- His thoughts were cut off by a Pokemon jumping from the bushes. “Oh my gosh! It’s a Charmander! Pidgey, use Tackle!” Pidgey rammed into Charmander hard. Charmander attacked back with an Ember. The attack was so powerful, it looked like it would instantly knock out Pidgey. “Dodge Pidgey!” Pidgey flew high but it still got hit. It began to dive into the field, which was beginning to burn from the attack! “Pidgey! Get up” Chris shouted desperately, “Are you just going to give up? I thought you were tougher than that!” Pidgey’s inner rage emerged and it hit Charmander hard with a Peck. Charmander fell backward. “Go Pokeball!”
________________________________________________________ *
__ Dylan had finally woken up. “Piplup! Gible! Snorunt!” Snorunt came waddling back to Dylan as soon as it was called. “Snorunt!” Dylan reached down and picked Snorunt up. “I am so happy to see you! Where are the others?” Snorunt jumped down and waddled away. Dylan followed cautiously. Dylan looked up and saw smoke in the sky. “Oh no! Chris”
________________________________________________________ *
__ Piplup and Gible made it to the field when Charmander used Ember. They saw Pidgey fall to the ground. “Now I see why Pidgey was easily beaten,” Piplup commented.
__ “Piplup, look! The field is on fire!” Gible exclaimed! The two ran over to the fire. “Chris doesn’t even care the field is burning! Piplup, can you put the fire out?”
__ “Yeah! I’ll use Bubble!” Piplup used its first water attack and the fire began to grow less furious.
__ “Go Pokeball!” Chris shouted. Piplup and Gible looked over and saw Charmander get captured!
__ “Piplup! Gible! Where are you guys?” Dylan shouted. Piplup and Gible looked back. They looked at each other, then ran over to Chris. “There you guys are! How did you get out of your Pokeballs? I found them by a rock.” Chris told Dylan about Charmander, and they arrived in Macaden City.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

For people that read this thread I have a question: Who is your favorite character?
1. Dylan
2. Chris
3. Jake

And: Who should get the next Pokemon, what should it be?
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

I will post chapter 5 and it will be the first chapter with villains! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(Mwa ha ha ha ha ha)
Chapter 5

__ Dylan and Chris finally arrived in Macaden City! The City was known for its lovely view of Mt. Early-Flora. It was named for the glorious flowers that bloom before any other flowers. Legend had it that Pokemon raised the flowers, so nobody had ever gone up there in fear of killing the flowers. When they entered the city, they went into the Pokemon Center to get their Pokemon checked on. “So, what will we do here?” Chris asked.
__ “How about we look around to see if any events are going on?” The two stayed and picked up some magazines, to see if any of them had travel tips for Macaden City. Dylan got bored and opened a comic book and a letter fell out. “What’s this?” He opened the letter and read it aloud:
We are meeting in Mt. Early-Flora
to get the Pokemon. Meet us
there at 3:00. don’t be late or you
will be hanging out with M2!​
__ “What is M2?” Chris asked.
__ “I don’t know, what is the Pokemon?”
__ A shady man moved over to the two. “Excuse me boys,” he said, “is that letter addressed to you?” Chris looked at the envelope it was in and saw no name. “Exactly! Now hand it over!”
__ “Why do you want to be connected with what seems like an evil operation?” Chris took the letter and slipped it into his pocket, without the man looking.
__ “I am . . . an officer! I am tracking down those crooks.” Chris began to hand over the letter, but Dylan grabbed it before it reached te man’s hand. “What is wrong with you kid?”
__ “You are no officer!” Dylan said, almost shouting. “Chris, get our Pokemon!” Dylan ran out of the Pokemon Center with the letter. The man quickly followed. Chris grabbed their Pokemon, and ran out. He passed an alleyway and an arm grabbed him. He screamed and the hand let go. “Shush! Be quiet!” Dylan emerged from the alleyway. “Give me my Pokemon. Let’s go to Mt. Flora!”
_________________________________________________________________ *
__ The two ran through Macaden City, and to the base of Mt. Early-Flora. They saw a group of people surrounded by strong Fire-Type Pokemon. They had four Pokemon, a Charizard, a Blaziken, a Magmortar, and Camerupt. They walked up the mountain, and the boys followed. The boys heard them say things like, “This garden is burning down!” and “If these Pokemon can’t stand the heat, they should get out of this region!”
__ “Those people are going to light the whole mountain on fire!” Chris whispered. “What are we going to do?”
__ “First we are going to stay quiet! Second, we’re going to get somebody to help us! Go back down the mountain and get somebody. I will stay here and distract them!” Chris nodded and ran down the mountain. Dylan ran out in front of the strange group. They jumped back and gasped. In the strangest voice he could think of, Dylan said, “Want to see what I can do?” He started dancing like a complete idiot. The group stayed and watched, a little disturbed.
__ “Forget that kid!” said one member, “We have to keep going! Charizard, use Fire Blast!”
__ “Help!” Dylan screamed. He ran as fast as he could from the fire. The team walked up a set of stairs he was hiding behind. Dylan looked up and ran up the stairs. He was quickly followed by Chris and five Officer Jenny’s.
__ “Freeze!” the officers screamed. They released lots of Water Pokemon to attack the team! They called the Fire Pokemon, and all four used Overheat on the fields of flowers.
__ Everyone shouted “Oh no!” and the evil team ran away! The Water Pokemon stopped the fire, but the flowers had been destroyed. The officers left, to tell the town what had happened, but Dylan and Chris stayed.
__ “Wow,” Dylan whispered, “I can’t believe what some people-” his words were cut off. He and Chris saw a Pokemon run through the field, and seeds fell where it walked. They stared, and remained silent.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

the next chaopter is on hold, to either tonight or tomorrow morning. 1000 apologies.
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

(Now there will be official villains, a combination of Jessie, James, Butch, and Cassidy)
Chapter 6

__ Dylan and Chris carefully walked back down the mountain. There was no way they were climbing it after the fire! “I wonder if there is a bus or train or something,” Dylan said as they reached the ground.
__ “We could take the train!” Chris suggested.
__ “What train?”
__ “The one over there, with a sign that says no tickets are required!” The two ran over and got on the train.
__ “Good afternoon everybody,” the train attendant said, “We will be arriving in North Uto Town in thirty minutes. If you are going to the Gym, feel free to leave your Pokemon with the doctor in the back of the train to recover them for you. You may pick them up when the ride is over.” She paused so trainers could hand over their Pokemon. “Now, this is no ordinary train. We have entertainment! Our first act is George, the amazing Shinx juggler!” A man walked into the middle of the train, and picked up two Shinx, and began juggling them! The train attendant threw a third Shinx at him, and he juggled that one two! The crowd was amazed and applauded him. “What an amazing act! Next, George, the outstanding Pichu stacker!” George came out with ten Pokeballs. He sent out one Pichu at a time. He piled one upon the other, and they formed a tower! The crowd was going crazy.
__ “Pretty cool, right Chris? Chris?” Dylan looked over, and saw that Chris was asleep! He turned back and watched the rest of the show.
__________________________________________________________________*
__ The train finally arrived in North Uto Town! The riders all went back to get their Pokemon, but nobody was there! All the workers had disappeared! “Oh no!” Chris said, “Our Pokemon! Dylan! We have to find them!” Dylan and Chris ran off the train and saw the attendant and George with a big bag. “I bet our Pokemon are in there,” Chris whispered.
__ “Chris, I have a plan.” Chris walked over to George and the attendant.
__ “What do you want kid?” George said angrily.
__ “Wanna see what I can do?” Chris started running in circles and rolling on the ground. Dylan quietly walked up behind the attendant, who wore a name-tag that read “Hello, my name Lindsay,” and grabbed the bag from her hands.
__ “Hey!” Lindsay shouted, “Give us back our Pokemon!”
__ “They aren’t yours!” Dylan shouted. Chris looked at both of them and ran to Dylan.
__ “I choose you, Shinx!” George said as he threw his Pokeball. “Use Thundershock!” Shinx hit Dylan and Chris hard and they fell.
__ “Hey! You can’t attack people!” Dylan exclaimed waving his fist in the air. He pulled out a random Pokeball and chose whatever was in it. Dylan chose a Lucario! “Wow! A Lucario! Those are rare! Use . . . Close Combat!” Lucario went full power on Shinx, and George and Lindsay. They ran off, and Dylan returned Lucario. He and Chris brought the Pokeballs to the Pokemon Center, and returned everyone’s Pokemon. They got their own Pokemon back as well. Dylan marched from the Pokemon Center to the Gym, burst through the doors, and yelled, “I am here to battle!” He looked up and saw Jake in the Gym! There were two Pokemon battling, Croagunk and Aipom.
__ “Croagunk! Finish this with Rock Smash!” Jake yelled. Croagunk charged at Aipom and hit it hard.
__ “Aipom is unable to battle!” the judge declared, “Croagunk and Jake are the winners.” Dylan watched Jake get his Badge and leave the gym.
__ “Wow Jake!” Dylan said as he Chris and Jake walked to the Pokemon Center, “Nice to see you again. Congratulations on the victory!”
__ “Thanks,” Jake said, “who is your friend?”
__ “My name is Chris. Dylan and I met on Route 751, and now we are travelling together. Nice Croagunk.”
__ “Thanks. So are both of you going to face the Gym Leader?”
__ “No,” Dylan said, “Just me. So what other Pokemon have you caught?”
__ “Nothing much, just Croagunk and a Drifloon. What about you?”
__ “I have a Gible, and a Snorunt now.”
__ “Dylan, we should be heading back to the Gym,” Chris said pointing at his watch, “Before somebody else does.”
__ “Okay, how about you come Jake?” The three returned to the Gym and Dylan requested a battle. The Gym Leader accepted and the battle began!
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

I am going to a rockwall this morning so Chapter 7 will be delayed, thanks for your patience. And I will be making a bio for George and Lidnsay
 
RE: My Pokemon Fanfic

omg! i am so sorry for not posting chap. 7!!! i got home with it half done, but my mom was on the computer this afternoon and moved everything! now i can't even find it!
 
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