Writing No Bounds (PG-13)
- Thread starter Uralya
- Start date
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
Alright. I've been waiting for an opening, and here it is. Like some reviews, too. And here we go, #4...
Chapter 4: Surcharged Passion
Josh could do this forever. Stroke, stroke, stroke... Makes my heart jolt. I knew I'd made an excellent choice when I first talked to him. He's just one in a million, as if a star had infused its lifeforce into his being.
If I had any other boy, I'd kill myself.
If Sarah could ever conjure such a penetrating thought, this was it. She knew she'd made an easy decision on fourteen-year-old Joseph William Clayton, and it was all she could ever ask for. He was sincere in return, taking her hand in the most desperate of times. Even now, his warm touch still had her riling in comfort as it swayed up and down her back.
But recently, she's come to think of herself, Sarah Noel Lawton, as an asinine little girl.
Why did I even go in that tent in the first place? Why did I stay when she said my life would change in more ways than one? Am I just blind to life?
Am I really alive?
She's come all the way to doubting even that, in that her marionette form could overpower her own will in matter of seconds. She could let herself go flighty one minute, then uncontrollably insane the next.
I'm a tool, arent I? Just Madison's playtoy. How dare she interrupt my time with Josh.
But, if I am a tool, what's my function?
She couldn't believe herself when she let a limp fourty-year-old take her control right out of her grip. Now it could just be a micron between Sarah's peacefulness, and Madison's flick-of-the-switch manipulation. It was all too easy for followers of Hecate.
Madison had had the upper hand even before I walked in. I just know it.
How long has she been tracking me?
She was unpredictable. Madison could vanish in the blink of an eye, yet reappear at the next intersection a few seconds later. How could a woman as old as her move so fast?
It could only be one thing: she is Hecate.
Sarah let herself dwell on that final thought, resting her eyes of visioning those images, and found herself woken by Josh moments later.
***
"Come on, Sarah, wake up," Josh taunted, oscillating a finger in front of Sarah's dazed eyes. Her appendage kinesics told him to jump in a lake, but he insisted.
Waking her vision out of hibernation, she found herself sitting upright on the Jeep's side, door open, with Josh right beside her: just as she'd last remembered. He'd held her up all this time. Serenity rained upon them now, drizzling bits of joy on their hearts; Sarah, followed by Josh, fell astern on the leather seats and turned heads toward one another.
"It's kismet," Josh described.
"What?" No rote response from Sarah.
"Destiny," Josh offered back, eliciting a warm smile from his companion. "It was truly destiny that brought us together, Sarah." Josh nailed a feeling in her heart so well, it made her gag on it. Still, Sarah couldn't be more satisfied.
"I know it was. I just couldn't bring myself to think it," Sarah tagged along in the ardorous chat; she slowly put her hand upon his back. He returned an ataraxic expression, giving her the arousing sense of security she desired most. He wrapped an appendage round her back, too; all was set for a great rest.
Josh shoveled his hand upon her, massaging Sarah into a thoroughly amused state. She winked at him, blew a good one through her hand's motions near her lips, and slapped her head down on the seat. Josh just couldn't stop staring at her now.
"Sarah?" he uttered, drawing a quick askance turn of the head from her.
"Yes?"
"... Nothing," he simply stated. Sarah shrugged, gave him a long, cleansing look in the eyes, grinned playfully, and brought her head back down to the leather cushion, this time lightly.
The truth was, he did have something to say. How to put it, he didn't know how. Perplexed, Josh closed his eyes, yet continued to draw his hand to and fro on her.
All he could say was that it had something to do with Sarah, himself, and a Sword of Damocles.
***
"How much longer, Katie? It's been awhile," Abigaill hollered, but not so loudly as to disturb the players in the backseat. She carefully messed with her hair, randomly pulling it into untwisted braids and letting it fall down again. Her hindside ached, so she moved onto the driver's seat from the grass and slung her legs over the wheel.
Katie peered over the hood, holding up connector wires. "Half an hour, maybe," she replied, then flipped her hair over one side and plunged into the engine again.
"No need to splay your locks, girl," Abigaill muttered, dropping her gaze behind her. Josh and Sarah both lay there, Josh on his back, rubbing Sarah's, whom lay on her stomach, soothing expressions abound on her face. "How sweet."
Josh slowly turned toward her, giving her a look that said 'Really?' back. He gave a half-smile, then looked at the ceiling. "I know. Isn't it?"
Abigaill would readily agree, but she could see the melancholy fire burning in his eyes, like twin blue flames. He wasn't invincible in the slightest, especially not to ones he cared for. His face practically read that he was in a deep thinking period relating to Sarah's predicament.
"I feel for her, too," she offered. Josh nodded, though she could see glimpses of surprisement in his body language. He really was a predictable fortune cookie. All aspects, really. She could read him all day and know the plot every time.
Josh probably sensed this, too. "She's in too much pain right now. I know she might not show it outright, but it's always present," he explained, to which Abigaill blatantly replied, "I already know."
She didn't like saying that, but what else could she say? It's not like he could instantly conceal his thoughts from her.
Josh sighed a big one, then directed a gaze toward the sun, now a crimson ball slowly deteriorating into a smaller and smaller semicircle. "I figured that. But what I don't get is the fact that her marionette side doesn't have a regular appearance pattern. It showed up at seven two days ago, at ten yesterday, but nowhere today, and it's already... What's the time?"
"Quarter past nine!" another voice resounded. Josh and Abigaill both knew who it was: Mrs. Kindred Spirits over there. Her glee-and-carefree approach to life somewhat ticked Abigaill off. Then again, who would come out and say it?
"Josh, I think we have to do something about Sarah," Abigaill started the conversation at hand up again, gentling pushing Katie out of the scene in addition.
"We already are, Abigaill. By getting her to Boston," Josh simply stated, but he had a feeling she meant something else.
"No, it's more than that. I bet she feels caged up back there, with her bonds nagging her on the leather. I feel like we should give her at least backseat freedom, with a keylock seatbelt." So, he'd been right. Abigaill equals else.
"I see your point there. She isn't a wraith," Josh added on. "Plus, we have to make room for Katie."
Abigaill raised both eyebrows, stymied with the decision of Josh's. "What in the world?!" She cuffed her mouth quickly. "I shouldn't have shouted," she whispered beneath her hands.
"Wha... Oh, Abigaill," Sarah rather unwearily chimed in; she sat straight up, threw back her black hair round her left shoulder, and smiled pitifully.
Abigaill couldn't help but laugh during her apology, if that's what one could call it. "Wow, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
Sarah cut her off and put a finger to Abigaill's lips. "Forgiven. I don't need an apology. Whatever you did, I know you didn't mean it," she uttered, pulling back her hand.
Josh scooted over to the left chair, sitting upright now. Sarah now sat opposite him. "Sarah, we have decided to-"
Again, Sarah cut someone off with her index finger. She then pulled it back off him quicker than the first time, calmly mentioning, "I know that, too. I'd like to sit upright, and yes, Katie should come. I like her."
Abigaill looked at her awkwardly, flipped gaze to Josh, and shrugged, a painfully confused look upon her. "How?"
Sarah closed her eyes, hanging her head to the side. A small, soothing smile came about her. "You can't see yet?" she asked in desperateness, yet didn't show it in the slightest. "She offered to fix our Jeep immediately, she thinks of us as kindred spirits already, and we've already agreed to let her in. Or at least majority says."
Josh turned his head, raising his right eyebrow in confusion. "How would you know? You were asleep," he asked.
Sarah opened her eyes and fixed them on Josh. Probably to be laconic, she imputted "Don't ask" on his mental keyboard.
Abigaill gave a roll of the eyes, as if it were suffice for the predicament, and groaned. "Why not? It's not like I get a say in this."
Sarah chuckled lightly, earning an elbow pinch from Josh. "Remember, we're deciding to let you have some freedom in the seat. don't make us revoke that privilege."
He tried to sound big, but Sarah knew he was just being his normal playful self around her. It sure worked.
Abigaill stretched out in the seat and raised her body from the leather cushion. "I'll go tell Katie the news. Okay with you?" she offered, drawing forth two thumbs up from both her friends.
Josh was about to cuddle on Sarah again and stare at the sun, now a dimming prominence against a rufescent sky, but quickly changed his thoughts to the keylock seatbelt they were going to make when he heard a "Done!" uttered from beneath the hood of the Jeep.
***
Alright, #4 is up. Enjoy, and #5 is coming soon. Hopefully on the break.
~AoH
Alright. I've been waiting for an opening, and here it is. Like some reviews, too. And here we go, #4...
Chapter 4: Surcharged Passion
Josh could do this forever. Stroke, stroke, stroke... Makes my heart jolt. I knew I'd made an excellent choice when I first talked to him. He's just one in a million, as if a star had infused its lifeforce into his being.
If I had any other boy, I'd kill myself.
If Sarah could ever conjure such a penetrating thought, this was it. She knew she'd made an easy decision on fourteen-year-old Joseph William Clayton, and it was all she could ever ask for. He was sincere in return, taking her hand in the most desperate of times. Even now, his warm touch still had her riling in comfort as it swayed up and down her back.
But recently, she's come to think of herself, Sarah Noel Lawton, as an asinine little girl.
Why did I even go in that tent in the first place? Why did I stay when she said my life would change in more ways than one? Am I just blind to life?
Am I really alive?
She's come all the way to doubting even that, in that her marionette form could overpower her own will in matter of seconds. She could let herself go flighty one minute, then uncontrollably insane the next.
I'm a tool, arent I? Just Madison's playtoy. How dare she interrupt my time with Josh.
But, if I am a tool, what's my function?
She couldn't believe herself when she let a limp fourty-year-old take her control right out of her grip. Now it could just be a micron between Sarah's peacefulness, and Madison's flick-of-the-switch manipulation. It was all too easy for followers of Hecate.
Madison had had the upper hand even before I walked in. I just know it.
How long has she been tracking me?
She was unpredictable. Madison could vanish in the blink of an eye, yet reappear at the next intersection a few seconds later. How could a woman as old as her move so fast?
It could only be one thing: she is Hecate.
Sarah let herself dwell on that final thought, resting her eyes of visioning those images, and found herself woken by Josh moments later.
***
"Come on, Sarah, wake up," Josh taunted, oscillating a finger in front of Sarah's dazed eyes. Her appendage kinesics told him to jump in a lake, but he insisted.
Waking her vision out of hibernation, she found herself sitting upright on the Jeep's side, door open, with Josh right beside her: just as she'd last remembered. He'd held her up all this time. Serenity rained upon them now, drizzling bits of joy on their hearts; Sarah, followed by Josh, fell astern on the leather seats and turned heads toward one another.
"It's kismet," Josh described.
"What?" No rote response from Sarah.
"Destiny," Josh offered back, eliciting a warm smile from his companion. "It was truly destiny that brought us together, Sarah." Josh nailed a feeling in her heart so well, it made her gag on it. Still, Sarah couldn't be more satisfied.
"I know it was. I just couldn't bring myself to think it," Sarah tagged along in the ardorous chat; she slowly put her hand upon his back. He returned an ataraxic expression, giving her the arousing sense of security she desired most. He wrapped an appendage round her back, too; all was set for a great rest.
Josh shoveled his hand upon her, massaging Sarah into a thoroughly amused state. She winked at him, blew a good one through her hand's motions near her lips, and slapped her head down on the seat. Josh just couldn't stop staring at her now.
"Sarah?" he uttered, drawing a quick askance turn of the head from her.
"Yes?"
"... Nothing," he simply stated. Sarah shrugged, gave him a long, cleansing look in the eyes, grinned playfully, and brought her head back down to the leather cushion, this time lightly.
The truth was, he did have something to say. How to put it, he didn't know how. Perplexed, Josh closed his eyes, yet continued to draw his hand to and fro on her.
All he could say was that it had something to do with Sarah, himself, and a Sword of Damocles.
***
"How much longer, Katie? It's been awhile," Abigaill hollered, but not so loudly as to disturb the players in the backseat. She carefully messed with her hair, randomly pulling it into untwisted braids and letting it fall down again. Her hindside ached, so she moved onto the driver's seat from the grass and slung her legs over the wheel.
Katie peered over the hood, holding up connector wires. "Half an hour, maybe," she replied, then flipped her hair over one side and plunged into the engine again.
"No need to splay your locks, girl," Abigaill muttered, dropping her gaze behind her. Josh and Sarah both lay there, Josh on his back, rubbing Sarah's, whom lay on her stomach, soothing expressions abound on her face. "How sweet."
Josh slowly turned toward her, giving her a look that said 'Really?' back. He gave a half-smile, then looked at the ceiling. "I know. Isn't it?"
Abigaill would readily agree, but she could see the melancholy fire burning in his eyes, like twin blue flames. He wasn't invincible in the slightest, especially not to ones he cared for. His face practically read that he was in a deep thinking period relating to Sarah's predicament.
"I feel for her, too," she offered. Josh nodded, though she could see glimpses of surprisement in his body language. He really was a predictable fortune cookie. All aspects, really. She could read him all day and know the plot every time.
Josh probably sensed this, too. "She's in too much pain right now. I know she might not show it outright, but it's always present," he explained, to which Abigaill blatantly replied, "I already know."
She didn't like saying that, but what else could she say? It's not like he could instantly conceal his thoughts from her.
Josh sighed a big one, then directed a gaze toward the sun, now a crimson ball slowly deteriorating into a smaller and smaller semicircle. "I figured that. But what I don't get is the fact that her marionette side doesn't have a regular appearance pattern. It showed up at seven two days ago, at ten yesterday, but nowhere today, and it's already... What's the time?"
"Quarter past nine!" another voice resounded. Josh and Abigaill both knew who it was: Mrs. Kindred Spirits over there. Her glee-and-carefree approach to life somewhat ticked Abigaill off. Then again, who would come out and say it?
"Josh, I think we have to do something about Sarah," Abigaill started the conversation at hand up again, gentling pushing Katie out of the scene in addition.
"We already are, Abigaill. By getting her to Boston," Josh simply stated, but he had a feeling she meant something else.
"No, it's more than that. I bet she feels caged up back there, with her bonds nagging her on the leather. I feel like we should give her at least backseat freedom, with a keylock seatbelt." So, he'd been right. Abigaill equals else.
"I see your point there. She isn't a wraith," Josh added on. "Plus, we have to make room for Katie."
Abigaill raised both eyebrows, stymied with the decision of Josh's. "What in the world?!" She cuffed her mouth quickly. "I shouldn't have shouted," she whispered beneath her hands.
"Wha... Oh, Abigaill," Sarah rather unwearily chimed in; she sat straight up, threw back her black hair round her left shoulder, and smiled pitifully.
Abigaill couldn't help but laugh during her apology, if that's what one could call it. "Wow, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
Sarah cut her off and put a finger to Abigaill's lips. "Forgiven. I don't need an apology. Whatever you did, I know you didn't mean it," she uttered, pulling back her hand.
Josh scooted over to the left chair, sitting upright now. Sarah now sat opposite him. "Sarah, we have decided to-"
Again, Sarah cut someone off with her index finger. She then pulled it back off him quicker than the first time, calmly mentioning, "I know that, too. I'd like to sit upright, and yes, Katie should come. I like her."
Abigaill looked at her awkwardly, flipped gaze to Josh, and shrugged, a painfully confused look upon her. "How?"
Sarah closed her eyes, hanging her head to the side. A small, soothing smile came about her. "You can't see yet?" she asked in desperateness, yet didn't show it in the slightest. "She offered to fix our Jeep immediately, she thinks of us as kindred spirits already, and we've already agreed to let her in. Or at least majority says."
Josh turned his head, raising his right eyebrow in confusion. "How would you know? You were asleep," he asked.
Sarah opened her eyes and fixed them on Josh. Probably to be laconic, she imputted "Don't ask" on his mental keyboard.
Abigaill gave a roll of the eyes, as if it were suffice for the predicament, and groaned. "Why not? It's not like I get a say in this."
Sarah chuckled lightly, earning an elbow pinch from Josh. "Remember, we're deciding to let you have some freedom in the seat. don't make us revoke that privilege."
He tried to sound big, but Sarah knew he was just being his normal playful self around her. It sure worked.
Abigaill stretched out in the seat and raised her body from the leather cushion. "I'll go tell Katie the news. Okay with you?" she offered, drawing forth two thumbs up from both her friends.
Josh was about to cuddle on Sarah again and stare at the sun, now a dimming prominence against a rufescent sky, but quickly changed his thoughts to the keylock seatbelt they were going to make when he heard a "Done!" uttered from beneath the hood of the Jeep.
***
Alright, #4 is up. Enjoy, and #5 is coming soon. Hopefully on the break.
~AoH
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
Here we go, with #5. I want to get it in before school opens again.
Chapter 5: I've Always Had You
Immeasurable feelings. Ones strong enough to draw and quarter the universe. If I had those, the world would be upon my lap, with Josh as the centerpiece.
But Madison prevents me from scaling that summit.
Sarah couldn't think of anything else. She'd already been taken over three times by Madison, and there were no evincing clues to the ordeal. She has been helpless all along.
No, I'm never alone. Josh and Abigaill, even Katie, have my back. They've been beside me all this time.
They would never drop me in a bottomless pit.
The submission hold Madison had on her was inescapable. Take one false step, and you may as well be treading quicksand. It was unbearable.
The sands are a mile away, yet I feel myself even closer than when I started. I close my eyes, and I can see the stairs to tranquility.
I'm already treading paved roads.
She may as well have been doing just that. Having just crossed into the ten-mile radius of Denver, Colorado, she relaxed her thoughts into the folds of her brain, staring into the rearview mirror and directly into Josh's soft eyes.
***
Josh had been staring into the mirror this whole time, eyeing Sarah's face just like before, on the day they first met. He was but a tyro of the opposite gender, failing flirting attempts numerous times. He'd devised a list of which girls in his school were available, and which were not or had already turned him down. Upon his sixteenth try, it happened to be Sarah. She'd always been a loner, shy and detrimental to the cause, but he didn't care. He knew she had a spirit inside her, devoid of impurities, that was unlike no other.
So, one day at lunch, he had decided it was time to make his move.
Thinking back, Josh relapsed his vision into darkness and let his mental movie projector teleport him into a realm of intense reminiscence.
~~~Flashback~~~
Josh sat at his lunch table, a dull, gray and octagonal one, gazing at an adjacent table. Sarah sat there, minding her own business, as well as fiddling with her strong, silky black hair.
She wore a white tee shirt, plain and ordinary, with a blue jacket over it. Her blue pants, stitched barely at the knees, still looked fresh as new. To top it off, she had on brown slip-on sandals that seemed to complete the outfit perfectly.
Josh looked down at himself: a gray tee, blue khakis and Nikes weren't going to do it for just any girl, but he figured they'd suffice.
"So, you doing it again, playboy?" Josh turned around, relieved to see that it was only Abigaill. He knew she was out of the question, and she knew as well, since they'd contracted their mutual agreement. Friends they were, and friends they would be. No matter when the universe blew to bits.
Josh scratched the back of his neck, grinning in a funny way. "Yep. This time, Sarah Lawton," he answered, drawing a hands-on-hips gesture from Abigaill.
She chuckled briefly, stating, "You know she's a loner. How're you gonna make her bite?"
"I know she is, but I'm determined to undo that knot in her life. She has this luminous spirit, I know it; it just sits there, waiting for someone to turn it from luminous to shining. That someone, I'm hoping, will be me." He flexed his fingers outwards, then stood from the table. "Watch the sky fall, and see us emerge from the destruction. Together."
Abigaill put a palm to her head, smiling whimsically. "I don't know if he's ever felt this much passion for anyone," she whispered to herself. "Not even to me."
***
Sarah pulled a mirror out of her purse, slinging her hair behind her ears until they remained fixated there. She smiled at herself, stroking her left bangs downward.
"Hello?"
Sarah jumped, realizing she hadn't seen the boy creeping up behind her in the mirror. What a klutz I am, Sarah thought.
She knew this boy. Josh Clayton: Anaheim Intermediate's flirter boy. She'd come to think of him as a descendant of Marquis de Sade, and had a hunch she was right. If she wasn't, why would he be interested in her, even in the slightest?
"What do you want?" she asked, pulling a deceitful grin. Josh had a way around most protests, so she would just remain indifferent on the subject.
"I heard you were a l-loner..." Two false steps right there: he was stuttering, giving her the picture he didn't know girls entirely, and the fact that he called her a "loner", a derogative term if she ever heard one.
He went to continue, but she pursed her lips. "That's enough," she stated, turning and high-tailing away. "You obviously don't know women in-" She stopped, surprised to see that she was dragging Josh on the floor, his arms gripped onto her sandal. "What in Hitler's name are you doing?"
Josh looked up at her, staring her in the face, and dropping tears like no one's business. "Sarah, you're my last hope..." He paused to wipe some water off his nose. "I know you have a... luminous spirit, waiting to be purified..." More stifling the tears from him. "And I want to be the one to do it!"
Sarah froze in her tracks, letting Josh's chest screech to a halt. She looked at him in shock; no one had ever said a word about her soul. She wasn't even sure she had one: until now, that is. Wrenching her heel free from him, she knelt down and pulled Josh's chin up so they could look each other in the eyes. He put his elbows beneath his rib cage, so as to act as pylons for his comfort.
"Josh," she started, "you're the first person to say something about my spirit in forever." She smiled slightly. "That was the nicest thing you could say to me."
Josh whiffed away a droplet from his cheek, grinning widely. "I guess it was. Does that mean..."
Sarah put a hand to his face, rubbing it softly. "No. Not yet. But you know what? I will think about it." She leaned closer to him, and winked once. "That was a job well done," she concluded. Then, before she stood up, she planted a kiss on his cheek.
Abigaill had seen the whole thing, and now, as Sarah left for another table, she knelt down beside Josh's midsection, planting a hand on his back. "So, did it work out?" she asked.
Josh put a fist to his other facial half, lazily watching Sarah saunter away. He turned his head round to Abigaill, eyes twinkling with liquid. "I think so," he answered, smiling more than ever.
Sure enough, later that day, when school let out, Sarah Lawton rushed out of the side exit and gave Josh Clayton the hug of his life.
~~~End Flashback~~~
That was then, and this is now. But to Josh, things were still the same. They even wore about the same clothes now. He couldn't help but think He had a play in this after all.
"Hey, Josh..." Josh shook his head into awakening, turning to see Abigaill speaking to him. He gave a nod to continue right away. "We're within Denver's city limits. Could you pick out a hotel from the coupon book?"
"Will do, captain." Josh gave a pretend salute, to which Abigaill grinned, and started flipping through. "Hmm..."
"How about the Mile High Inn?" Katie chimed in, holding up a coupon. She smiled contently, passing the effect to the other three as well.
Sarah started into the conversation too. "Sure, Katie. That's a great idea."
Abigaill added, "I've heard good things about that place." She looked sideways at Josh, waving a hand at the coupon book. "No need now. Sorry..."
Josh sighed, dropping the book lightly on the tray between the front seats. "Oh well. I doubt there's better than what you suggest, Katie." Abigaill couldn't help but hide a frown at that statement.
Katie gave a hands-down motion to everyone, and the response was heeded. "Right, right. It's settled then, okay? Okay," she flatteringly decided. Abigaill decided it was callous to take it that way, and took to the road's undivided attention.
"Alright then. Everyone relax, refrain from talking, and we'll be there in a few minutes. Any buts, and I'll incinerate the violator. Got it?" Even though no one but Abigaill knew that she literally meant it, they all took honest heed and zipped their mouths, not wanting to know whether she was joking or not to begin with. As Sarah and Josh knew already, Abigaill could vex a subway car into stopping.
In his moment of tranquility that was given to him, Josh stared at the rearview mirror again, catching gaze of Sarah yet again. She gave a sharp wink, then turned her head sideways, raising her black hair off her cheek prior to. Josh gave an upward twitch of his mouth, then gazed at the ceiling of the Jeep, now feeling too imbecilic to contemplate its role in the grand scheme.
***
There you go, folks. Zenith, need reviews. ~AoH
Here we go, with #5. I want to get it in before school opens again.
Chapter 5: I've Always Had You
Immeasurable feelings. Ones strong enough to draw and quarter the universe. If I had those, the world would be upon my lap, with Josh as the centerpiece.
But Madison prevents me from scaling that summit.
Sarah couldn't think of anything else. She'd already been taken over three times by Madison, and there were no evincing clues to the ordeal. She has been helpless all along.
No, I'm never alone. Josh and Abigaill, even Katie, have my back. They've been beside me all this time.
They would never drop me in a bottomless pit.
The submission hold Madison had on her was inescapable. Take one false step, and you may as well be treading quicksand. It was unbearable.
The sands are a mile away, yet I feel myself even closer than when I started. I close my eyes, and I can see the stairs to tranquility.
I'm already treading paved roads.
She may as well have been doing just that. Having just crossed into the ten-mile radius of Denver, Colorado, she relaxed her thoughts into the folds of her brain, staring into the rearview mirror and directly into Josh's soft eyes.
***
Josh had been staring into the mirror this whole time, eyeing Sarah's face just like before, on the day they first met. He was but a tyro of the opposite gender, failing flirting attempts numerous times. He'd devised a list of which girls in his school were available, and which were not or had already turned him down. Upon his sixteenth try, it happened to be Sarah. She'd always been a loner, shy and detrimental to the cause, but he didn't care. He knew she had a spirit inside her, devoid of impurities, that was unlike no other.
So, one day at lunch, he had decided it was time to make his move.
Thinking back, Josh relapsed his vision into darkness and let his mental movie projector teleport him into a realm of intense reminiscence.
~~~Flashback~~~
Josh sat at his lunch table, a dull, gray and octagonal one, gazing at an adjacent table. Sarah sat there, minding her own business, as well as fiddling with her strong, silky black hair.
She wore a white tee shirt, plain and ordinary, with a blue jacket over it. Her blue pants, stitched barely at the knees, still looked fresh as new. To top it off, she had on brown slip-on sandals that seemed to complete the outfit perfectly.
Josh looked down at himself: a gray tee, blue khakis and Nikes weren't going to do it for just any girl, but he figured they'd suffice.
"So, you doing it again, playboy?" Josh turned around, relieved to see that it was only Abigaill. He knew she was out of the question, and she knew as well, since they'd contracted their mutual agreement. Friends they were, and friends they would be. No matter when the universe blew to bits.
Josh scratched the back of his neck, grinning in a funny way. "Yep. This time, Sarah Lawton," he answered, drawing a hands-on-hips gesture from Abigaill.
She chuckled briefly, stating, "You know she's a loner. How're you gonna make her bite?"
"I know she is, but I'm determined to undo that knot in her life. She has this luminous spirit, I know it; it just sits there, waiting for someone to turn it from luminous to shining. That someone, I'm hoping, will be me." He flexed his fingers outwards, then stood from the table. "Watch the sky fall, and see us emerge from the destruction. Together."
Abigaill put a palm to her head, smiling whimsically. "I don't know if he's ever felt this much passion for anyone," she whispered to herself. "Not even to me."
***
Sarah pulled a mirror out of her purse, slinging her hair behind her ears until they remained fixated there. She smiled at herself, stroking her left bangs downward.
"Hello?"
Sarah jumped, realizing she hadn't seen the boy creeping up behind her in the mirror. What a klutz I am, Sarah thought.
She knew this boy. Josh Clayton: Anaheim Intermediate's flirter boy. She'd come to think of him as a descendant of Marquis de Sade, and had a hunch she was right. If she wasn't, why would he be interested in her, even in the slightest?
"What do you want?" she asked, pulling a deceitful grin. Josh had a way around most protests, so she would just remain indifferent on the subject.
"I heard you were a l-loner..." Two false steps right there: he was stuttering, giving her the picture he didn't know girls entirely, and the fact that he called her a "loner", a derogative term if she ever heard one.
He went to continue, but she pursed her lips. "That's enough," she stated, turning and high-tailing away. "You obviously don't know women in-" She stopped, surprised to see that she was dragging Josh on the floor, his arms gripped onto her sandal. "What in Hitler's name are you doing?"
Josh looked up at her, staring her in the face, and dropping tears like no one's business. "Sarah, you're my last hope..." He paused to wipe some water off his nose. "I know you have a... luminous spirit, waiting to be purified..." More stifling the tears from him. "And I want to be the one to do it!"
Sarah froze in her tracks, letting Josh's chest screech to a halt. She looked at him in shock; no one had ever said a word about her soul. She wasn't even sure she had one: until now, that is. Wrenching her heel free from him, she knelt down and pulled Josh's chin up so they could look each other in the eyes. He put his elbows beneath his rib cage, so as to act as pylons for his comfort.
"Josh," she started, "you're the first person to say something about my spirit in forever." She smiled slightly. "That was the nicest thing you could say to me."
Josh whiffed away a droplet from his cheek, grinning widely. "I guess it was. Does that mean..."
Sarah put a hand to his face, rubbing it softly. "No. Not yet. But you know what? I will think about it." She leaned closer to him, and winked once. "That was a job well done," she concluded. Then, before she stood up, she planted a kiss on his cheek.
Abigaill had seen the whole thing, and now, as Sarah left for another table, she knelt down beside Josh's midsection, planting a hand on his back. "So, did it work out?" she asked.
Josh put a fist to his other facial half, lazily watching Sarah saunter away. He turned his head round to Abigaill, eyes twinkling with liquid. "I think so," he answered, smiling more than ever.
Sure enough, later that day, when school let out, Sarah Lawton rushed out of the side exit and gave Josh Clayton the hug of his life.
~~~End Flashback~~~
That was then, and this is now. But to Josh, things were still the same. They even wore about the same clothes now. He couldn't help but think He had a play in this after all.
"Hey, Josh..." Josh shook his head into awakening, turning to see Abigaill speaking to him. He gave a nod to continue right away. "We're within Denver's city limits. Could you pick out a hotel from the coupon book?"
"Will do, captain." Josh gave a pretend salute, to which Abigaill grinned, and started flipping through. "Hmm..."
"How about the Mile High Inn?" Katie chimed in, holding up a coupon. She smiled contently, passing the effect to the other three as well.
Sarah started into the conversation too. "Sure, Katie. That's a great idea."
Abigaill added, "I've heard good things about that place." She looked sideways at Josh, waving a hand at the coupon book. "No need now. Sorry..."
Josh sighed, dropping the book lightly on the tray between the front seats. "Oh well. I doubt there's better than what you suggest, Katie." Abigaill couldn't help but hide a frown at that statement.
Katie gave a hands-down motion to everyone, and the response was heeded. "Right, right. It's settled then, okay? Okay," she flatteringly decided. Abigaill decided it was callous to take it that way, and took to the road's undivided attention.
"Alright then. Everyone relax, refrain from talking, and we'll be there in a few minutes. Any buts, and I'll incinerate the violator. Got it?" Even though no one but Abigaill knew that she literally meant it, they all took honest heed and zipped their mouths, not wanting to know whether she was joking or not to begin with. As Sarah and Josh knew already, Abigaill could vex a subway car into stopping.
In his moment of tranquility that was given to him, Josh stared at the rearview mirror again, catching gaze of Sarah yet again. She gave a sharp wink, then turned her head sideways, raising her black hair off her cheek prior to. Josh gave an upward twitch of his mouth, then gazed at the ceiling of the Jeep, now feeling too imbecilic to contemplate its role in the grand scheme.
***
There you go, folks. Zenith, need reviews. ~AoH
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
I normally do not review such extensive chapters, however...you deserve a review or two :3
I apologize for not providing a review previously. This is strictly for the seventh chapter. I really only scrutinize grammar and syntax, though this critique may include a few arbitrary thoughts. Without further ado...
This is purely preference, yet to use upon in this context sounds a bit forced. I consider “upon” to be an active word (i.e. used with action; e.g. thrust upon his lap), while its relative “on” is passive. I would use “on”, but this is entirely up to you. In addition, you missed the “as” in your sentence. Otherwise, it sounds like Josh is a centerpiece (chuckles).
Oops! Present tense. If you do a bit of revision, you will be good to go:
She's → She had (In this sentence, it sounds better without contraction [i.e. She'd])
are → were
has → had
This sentence doesn't make sense – the syntax is a bit bizarre. The swamp of a clutch: I don't know if this was intended as a derogatory insult, or a description. I don't know what this 'clutch' is – it can be a noun or a verb. Is she clutching something? Does she have an actual piece of a car stuck to her? The word 'swamp' doesn't suit the context – it can either intend to describe something crowded or a marsh. It can mean 'overwhelming' but...it is very obscure. “Untraipsable” isn't a word. I'm not sure what you were going for, since this sentence was oddly structured.
This is technically a misuse of a semicolon. The sentence can continue with a comma or without.
I noticed a couple of discrepancies with your line breaks (i.e. *** or ~~~). Don't forget to space them evenly – before and after a paragraph.
A suggestion might be to use 'like' instead of 'as'. Or, revise the sentence to improve the structure and context:
...eyeing Sarah's face with intrigue, similar to when he first met her.
….Or something XD
The second suggestion is to change the 'with' to 'of'.
In this context, the contraction sounds a bit awkward. A suggestion would be to expand it to say 'he had'. This type of contraction is found throughout this chapter (you use she'd and he'd quite frequently). Sometimes, contractions are not appropriate – sometimes, they're always appropriate. I recommend reading the sentence out loud or repeatedly to determine which instance would be better.
I like the phrasing used in this sentence; it incorporates a very intriguing metaphor. I would advise that instead of 'eyes', you use 'vision' – this would indicate that he is allowing his mind to slip away into the recesses of darkness, rather than his eyes alone. It is entirely up to you, though. The last phrase is a bit odd. I recommend revising this particular sentence, like...
...and let his mental movie projector lure him into a nostalgic realm.
...Or something XD
I noticed that you practice a bit of comma worship. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although, you should be cautious when using more than one comma in a single sentence except when certain conjunctions are used, or if multiple adjectives are used for a single object. An excess of commas can cause odd breaks in the sentence which may not read properly or smoothly. Just a quirky thought.
A table isn't exactly a measurement unless it is phrased “a table's length away” - even then, who knows how far away that is? A suggestion might be to revise the sentence to include a specific distance or place, like
...gazing to the adjacent table
OR
...gazing to a table several meters away
...Or something XD
Blew...?Blew chunks? I apologize – that was my immediate thought. I would recommend adding the word 'up' (or revise the sentence to replace 'blew' with 'exploded') to conclude the sentence; this refines the description for the reader.
Hmm~ The transitive verb 'straddling' doesn't quite suit the action. In a way, it's...somewhat correct – 'straddle' can also mean to spread out irregularly or to sprawl. Normally, when you straddle something, it is usually done with your legs on either side of the object. A suggestion may be to use 'wrapping', 'tying', or better yet - 'collecting'.
I recommend separating the dialogue from the next sentence. This way, the reader won't be confused as to whether Sarah is speaking or not. Like this:
“Hello?”
Sarah jumped,
I noticed that while you italicize a character's thoughts, you do not provide single quotation marks to indicate whether or not they are thinking. I highly recommend using single quotation marks for this, though it is entirely personal preference. I have seen several authors use unique and unorthodox methods regarding this type of dialogue. Nevertheless, I do find that single quotations help in distinguishing it from spoken word or narrative text.
The fact that you referenced his name is impressive – and impressively awesome.
You don't exactly “see” a derogative term – you do hear it, though. I recommend using 'heard', instead.
Just a little revision here.
We require more pylons.
You can't exactly put your shoulders beneath your ribcage unless you dislocated them – badly. A suggestion would be to replace the word 'shoulders' with 'elbows' or 'arms'. In addition, the last word doesn't quite suit the sentence. I advise using the word 'comfort', instead.
Unless your character is an orthopedic surgeonor Dr. Gregory House, you shouldn't be using this type of terminology. Certain anatomy words are acceptable (e.g. jugular), since they are known – and used, by the general public. In this instance, however...it sounds a bit awkward. Try substituting the words 'zygomatic arch' for 'cheekbone' or 'cheek'.
'Calcine' is a strange term to use – especially in dialogue (in real life, not too many individuals speak like this). I advise replacing the word with a similar term the general public is familiar with. A suggestion may be to read your dialogue out loud – if it sounds awkward, then revise it until it can be spoken with ease.
Misspelling of 'though'.
“Imbecillic” isn't a word nor a variant spelling. “Imbecilic” is – if that was what you intended. You might have been thinking of “idyllic” (simple and serene).
Overall, I believe this entire story needs a bit more description – and revision. I discovered a lot of strangely implemented adjectives and descriptions...many of which didn't suit the sentence. An example or two were mentioned above. A few other instances include when you used 'whiffing' (which is...somewhat correct, though it sounds a bit odd when describing a character flicking away tears) and 'took to the road's undivided attention.' (which could be revised to say: 'gave the road her undivided attention.') I recommend becoming familiar with various adjectives and synonyms by studiously practicing with a thesaurus – otherwise, you may end upinjecting words with imprecise procedure writing words improperly. I also found a lot of oddly arranged sentences with weird syntax, which can definitely make for a difficult read. I advise to practice, practice, practice. Keep at it, Arceus of Heaven!
I normally do not review such extensive chapters, however...you deserve a review or two :3
I apologize for not providing a review previously. This is strictly for the seventh chapter. I really only scrutinize grammar and syntax, though this critique may include a few arbitrary thoughts. Without further ado...
This is purely preference, yet to use upon in this context sounds a bit forced. I consider “upon” to be an active word (i.e. used with action; e.g. thrust upon his lap), while its relative “on” is passive. I would use “on”, but this is entirely up to you. In addition, you missed the “as” in your sentence. Otherwise, it sounds like Josh is a centerpiece (chuckles).
Oops! Present tense. If you do a bit of revision, you will be good to go:
She's → She had (In this sentence, it sounds better without contraction [i.e. She'd])
are → were
has → had
This sentence doesn't make sense – the syntax is a bit bizarre. The swamp of a clutch: I don't know if this was intended as a derogatory insult, or a description. I don't know what this 'clutch' is – it can be a noun or a verb. Is she clutching something? Does she have an actual piece of a car stuck to her? The word 'swamp' doesn't suit the context – it can either intend to describe something crowded or a marsh. It can mean 'overwhelming' but...it is very obscure. “Untraipsable” isn't a word. I'm not sure what you were going for, since this sentence was oddly structured.
This is technically a misuse of a semicolon. The sentence can continue with a comma or without.
I noticed a couple of discrepancies with your line breaks (i.e. *** or ~~~). Don't forget to space them evenly – before and after a paragraph.
A suggestion might be to use 'like' instead of 'as'. Or, revise the sentence to improve the structure and context:
...eyeing Sarah's face with intrigue, similar to when he first met her.
….Or something XD
The second suggestion is to change the 'with' to 'of'.
In this context, the contraction sounds a bit awkward. A suggestion would be to expand it to say 'he had'. This type of contraction is found throughout this chapter (you use she'd and he'd quite frequently). Sometimes, contractions are not appropriate – sometimes, they're always appropriate. I recommend reading the sentence out loud or repeatedly to determine which instance would be better.
I like the phrasing used in this sentence; it incorporates a very intriguing metaphor. I would advise that instead of 'eyes', you use 'vision' – this would indicate that he is allowing his mind to slip away into the recesses of darkness, rather than his eyes alone. It is entirely up to you, though. The last phrase is a bit odd. I recommend revising this particular sentence, like...
...and let his mental movie projector lure him into a nostalgic realm.
...Or something XD
I noticed that you practice a bit of comma worship. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although, you should be cautious when using more than one comma in a single sentence except when certain conjunctions are used, or if multiple adjectives are used for a single object. An excess of commas can cause odd breaks in the sentence which may not read properly or smoothly. Just a quirky thought.
A table isn't exactly a measurement unless it is phrased “a table's length away” - even then, who knows how far away that is? A suggestion might be to revise the sentence to include a specific distance or place, like
...gazing to the adjacent table
OR
...gazing to a table several meters away
...Or something XD
Blew...?
Hmm~ The transitive verb 'straddling' doesn't quite suit the action. In a way, it's...somewhat correct – 'straddle' can also mean to spread out irregularly or to sprawl. Normally, when you straddle something, it is usually done with your legs on either side of the object. A suggestion may be to use 'wrapping', 'tying', or better yet - 'collecting'.
I recommend separating the dialogue from the next sentence. This way, the reader won't be confused as to whether Sarah is speaking or not. Like this:
“Hello?”
Sarah jumped,
I noticed that while you italicize a character's thoughts, you do not provide single quotation marks to indicate whether or not they are thinking. I highly recommend using single quotation marks for this, though it is entirely personal preference. I have seen several authors use unique and unorthodox methods regarding this type of dialogue. Nevertheless, I do find that single quotations help in distinguishing it from spoken word or narrative text.
The fact that you referenced his name is impressive – and impressively awesome.
You don't exactly “see” a derogative term – you do hear it, though. I recommend using 'heard', instead.
Just a little revision here.
You can't exactly put your shoulders beneath your ribcage unless you dislocated them – badly. A suggestion would be to replace the word 'shoulders' with 'elbows' or 'arms'. In addition, the last word doesn't quite suit the sentence. I advise using the word 'comfort', instead.
Unless your character is an orthopedic surgeon
'Calcine' is a strange term to use – especially in dialogue (in real life, not too many individuals speak like this). I advise replacing the word with a similar term the general public is familiar with. A suggestion may be to read your dialogue out loud – if it sounds awkward, then revise it until it can be spoken with ease.
Misspelling of 'though'.
“Imbecillic” isn't a word nor a variant spelling. “Imbecilic” is – if that was what you intended. You might have been thinking of “idyllic” (simple and serene).
Overall, I believe this entire story needs a bit more description – and revision. I discovered a lot of strangely implemented adjectives and descriptions...many of which didn't suit the sentence. An example or two were mentioned above. A few other instances include when you used 'whiffing' (which is...somewhat correct, though it sounds a bit odd when describing a character flicking away tears) and 'took to the road's undivided attention.' (which could be revised to say: 'gave the road her undivided attention.') I recommend becoming familiar with various adjectives and synonyms by studiously practicing with a thesaurus – otherwise, you may end up
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
Thanks a bunch, UU. I only just became a "teen", so my vocabulary nor use is as well-placed as others. I'm working at it, but it's a work in progress. I'm actually thinking about a minimum 2,000 word chapter for my next story. That seem right? But yes, going to fix those parts now.
Keep it coming, ~AoH
Thanks a bunch, UU. I only just became a "teen", so my vocabulary nor use is as well-placed as others. I'm working at it, but it's a work in progress. I'm actually thinking about a minimum 2,000 word chapter for my next story. That seem right? But yes, going to fix those parts now.
Keep it coming, ~AoH
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
Word of Warning: May conceive an "overboard" feeling of close relationships. Suggested for teens+. I'm sorry...
Chapter 6: Purgatory
Diffract the petals. Rip the leaves off their bases. Pry the inner flower into view. Lastly, grip the cell walls.
But do not harm the stem.
That's about how Josh broke down how most of his nights in bed with Sarah would go down. He'd stroke her hair, pull her arms round him, and pull her mouth close enough. Then he'd caress her in the most comforting way.
But it wouldn't go that far. He'd already decided that making love was just too much. Why get her pregnant at only fifteen? The best he would manage to relax himself with Sarah was to embrace her clothed self.
To not purge the perianth.
But Josh had this urge inside him. An urge to rip it from the flower outright. She made him complete, and he made her feel the same. His inner Freud was telling him to do more than just juxtapose with her on the mattress.
More importantly, Abstinence was a being too. It had a form, a mere Pandora, but that mask covered the largest amount of pureness. And it was more powerful than Freud would ever be.
Abstinence couldn't talk, but it's force was voice all on its own. Freud stood his ground, arms outward and exerting massive resistance upon the oppressive being of Abstinence.
But there's more than just oppression in Abstinence's arsenal. Love, hope, courage, and the ability to press out the inner amorous zeal were all there too. All there is with Freud is lust, craving, and helplessness.
Pure helplessness. It's just not enough.
Josh watched the battle rage in his mind, drawing juxtapositional with Freud and Abstinence to see their points of view. He was but a wraith in this war, but wraith had power. He'd known that from playing Halo as a boy.
Turns out video games can help just as much as reasoning. But combined, their power is enormous. Freud just didn't have video games in his time.
In mere seconds, Josh's apparition, willpower predominate over everything, dragooned his inner Freud to the outside world with the help of Abstinence.
Inside Josh's mind, Freud crashed through a barrier of the airspace they had been warring in, and Abstinence turned to him.
It caressed his cheek with a bare palm, to which Josh happily smiled, but he couldn't hide back an expression of surprise from breaking out. Abstinence looked at him questionably, but Josh was too shocked to answer.
Abstinence morphed slowly, turning more and more like...
"Wake up!"
Josh screamed at the top of his lungs as he was slapped wide across the face. He cowered in a corner, muttering slowly, "Abstinence, WHYWHYWHYWhywhywhywhywhy..." He paused. "WHY?!"
"Relax, Josh. Are you losing it already?" The same voice that had screamed at him the first time was the heir apparent to the words hanging in the air now. Josh slowly turned his head, uncovering his eyes, and supressed a heavy sigh of relief as he realized it was just Abigaill. Abstinence was starting to get a bit creepy this time. Before, it'd been his mother.
"Am I?" Josh whimpered, looking around the jeep. It had stalled, as he saw that the keys were out of the ignition and in Abigaill's pocket. The jeep was in a hotel parking lot. Josh was surprised Freud and Abstinence had waged such a long war. Normal skirmishes only lasted a few minutes.
A hand touched each side of his neck, and Josh froze stiff, hands hitting the roof with a whap. "Hardly, Abigaill. This is normal," Sarah's voice echoed through his eardrum. He put his arms down again but kept that same draconian grimace pasted on his face. Ants started up his jeans, and his knees buckled together. Abstinence wasn't helping this time; Freud must've breached his defenses again.
Abigaill shook her head, smiling comisserately with her eyes closed. She leaned her head back on the back of the driver's seat and looked back toward Sarah. "I've known that since before you met Josh. Stop being a Katie."
Katie, now taking serious interest in the conversation, and Sarah cocked one eyebrow in unison. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
Realizing she was the only one who even had the slightest dislike for Katie, Abigaill slapped herself on the forehead and groaned. "Never mind..."
Josh had used his internal willpower, a blazing sea of fire, to cremate Freud inside his mind for the time being, and finally chimed in. "Alright, alright. Enough with the concern of my sanity. I'm fine." He took in a puff of air before continuing. "What hotel are we staying in?"
Katie, for once, looked at him awkwardly, the first time he hadn't seen her effervesced. "The Mile High Inn, helloooo?"
Abigaill leaned her towards her window, but kept focused on the conversation. She snickered lightly every time Katie said something.
Josh threw his hands up, then leaned back, staring at the jeep ceiling. "Why would I care where you're boyfriend is? He isn't even related to this hotel!"
Katie leaned fowards, eyes full of hatred. "He means a lot to me! Just like you mean a lot to Sarah," she angrily puffed out. Sarah noticed her clench her fists, but assumed it was just instinct and smiled at Katie's reference to her. She let only herself know it was half-heartedly executed.
"Yeah so? Your boyfriend doesn't mean anything to me! I could care less what he means to you, you chit!" Josh folded his arms, not even looking at Katie's face.
Katie burst her tear sacs on the seats, hanging her head down as she did. Feelings of hatred, rage, and hurt swelled inside her. Would they mix and pour out like a perforated hurricane? Or would they just settle down and accept what Josh had said? Katie assumed the former was more domineering.
So be it.
"Sarah, take this," she managed to utter, taking from her pocket a silver necklace with a rhomboid damond on it. "You're my one true friend in this infernal world." She placed it in Sarah's hands, saw her confusion, which was satisfying enough, and looked at Abigaill.
"Look, I know you may not like me..." Abigaill was shocked. How could she know? And how long had she known? She continued, still in a mild pouting fit, "But take these. It's the only way I can thank you." She locked her hair behind her ears, taking out a diamond stud from each of her lobes and placing them in Abigaill's palm. "You showed me that love and compassion aren't your only friends. Sometimes, pure hatred can have pleasant effects too." Without looking to see Abigaill's reaction, she looked to Josh, who finally had enough guts to turn and look at this escapade of feelings and emotion.
"Josh, I may be a 'chit', if that's what you prefer me to be, but I have feelings too. I want you to take this..." She motioned down to her back pocket; Josh hadn't known it was a deathtrap waiting to be activated. She threw a sidearm straight to his cheek bone and extended her other arm's index finger, a nail grown much longer than her other ones. How come no one had noticed it?
"I want you to suffer..." Katie snarled, not showing any mercy in her assault. She scraped the nail along his neck, etching words in it that could only be of the Creed of Psychics. "Go... To..." She didn't have to finish the oath before burning the last word into his skin.
She opened the jeep's door, stepped out slowly, and smirked. Her gaze caught both of Abigaill and Sarah's terrified expressions, ones practically etched into their skin as well, and Josh's painful grimace, though he was battling consciousness now. "Au revoir, my good friends. Katie Andrews, signing off..." She let the words drawl out into the midnight air with a comminatory echo before dashing away across the street. Cars seemed to just miss her before continuing on their merry way.
Though he was battling consciousness, Josh was well aware of what she'd done. "So..." he painfully expelled from his mouth, "she was..." He coughed a dozen times. "the Sword of Damocles..." He smiled at Sarah, winked at Abigaill, and incinerated Freud one more time before hitting his head on the shotgun airbag container.
He couldn't even hear the screams of the girls, as the words Katie had inscribed on his neck deemed far too perspicacious to go unnoticed.
***
Abigaill was right. Some people are just not meant to be trusted. She had had it right from the beginning. Friendliness is half the time a mask for the cold-hearted's true ambitions. She cursed herself for not telling the others. Then again, they had found out soon enough.
At least Katie hadn't been another Judas. She could cope with a betrayor, as long as they had no one to betray. She didn't think Sarah nor Josh was dumb enough to fall for it. If they had, she would've known it.
Wouldn't she? That was a question currently pending, but the impetus to answer was what kept Abigaill going.
Laying him on the bed of the hotel room, she sat over the side of the mattress and put Sarah on the other side of him. Sarah was in no hurry to wake him as well; she spent her time fiddling with the diamond necklace Katie had given her, working her fingers across it's polished silver finish with keen interest.
Abigaill began to wonder. Had Katie actually meant the things she said? She probably did, or else she would've just taken out Josh with that punch right away. She probably did care about them, and more than Abigaill realized.
She had thought they were best friends after all. Just the three of them.
Abigaill pulled Katie's diamond studs from her back pocket and took a good look at them. They were finely crafted, and probably worth hundreds. The fastener was polished to the extreme, and the silver holding the diamond in place was teeming with color. Why had Katie trusted Abigaill enough to give her them?
Without pondering the fact, Abigaill put them on the bedside counter and flipped her hair over both ears. She took both hands and stripped her lobes of their gold hoops one by one and put them in pairs on the bed. Then she debated with which hole to put Katie's studs in.
Sarah had taken her attention from the necklace and slipped it onto her neck. She moved over Josh and sat beside Abigaill, looking intricately at her ears.
"So, which ones are you putting them in?" she asked. The holes seemed to beckon a feeling of undecidedness to her.
Abigaill shrugged. "I really don't know. Any ideas?" Abigaill asked back, purposefully deflecting the attention off her again.
Sarah debated the thought thoroughly. She didn't have a single idea. If she did, it didn't have a reason. Then a stray thought jumped her mind: her own ears. But they hadn't been done yet. Her father wouldn't allow it. Fighting it, she tried to push the thought out of her mind, but Abigaill was already onto her.
Abigaill went into the bathroom, then came back a few seconds later with a needle and sponge. Sarah lurched her head sideways in reluctant disapproval.
"Don't worry. It's sterilized," she told Sarah, holding out the needle to Sarah's face.
Sarah knew she wanted to. She'd be betraying her spirit in not doing it. It was just a matter of choice: would she rather let her spirit scold her? No, she decided. It would be much more painful than the needle.
"Do it," she demanded, then braced herself. A few seconds past, and nothing came. Sarah almost opened her eyes, but a sharp pain injected her left lobe. A sponge came at the back, and the pain subsided. So why was she feeling the coldness of metal now?
The needle was still in her ear. Great.
Then she heard footsteps, and Abigaill plopped on the bedside. "Heh, forgot to sterilize the other metals too..."
The coldness came out along with the needle, and another coldness entered, but without the pain of before. Sarah relaxed for a couple seconds; the other puncture wound occured, followed by the wetness of the sponge, and an injection of metal on her skin.
Then she felt Abigaill go behind her ears and slip the fasteners on-the process was complete. She dabbed Sarah's lobes with a cloth a few times, then slid backwards on the bed.
"Is it over?" Sarah stupidly asked, still with her eyes shut.
"Yes..." she heard Abigaill reply, then opened her eyes. Abigaill was threading her hoops back beneath her bangs, and when she was done, gave Sarah a hand mirror.
Sarah moved her head from one side to the other and back, just staring at her reflection. "You did your own by yourself, didn't you?" she jokingly asked.
Abigaill smiled and winked at the same time. "Nope. Improvised this one."
Sarah gulped silently, but still kept her smile showing. She didn't even want to know...
***
Here's 6. Comments as you will. ~AoH
EDIT: I thought this was a pretty darn good chapter. Can I at least get some nods of approval and such? Like SOME feedback, at least. Also, I was planning to write 7 today, but my brain isn't really working now. I'll try this afternoon maybe. ~AoH
Word of Warning: May conceive an "overboard" feeling of close relationships. Suggested for teens+. I'm sorry...
Chapter 6: Purgatory
Diffract the petals. Rip the leaves off their bases. Pry the inner flower into view. Lastly, grip the cell walls.
But do not harm the stem.
That's about how Josh broke down how most of his nights in bed with Sarah would go down. He'd stroke her hair, pull her arms round him, and pull her mouth close enough. Then he'd caress her in the most comforting way.
But it wouldn't go that far. He'd already decided that making love was just too much. Why get her pregnant at only fifteen? The best he would manage to relax himself with Sarah was to embrace her clothed self.
To not purge the perianth.
But Josh had this urge inside him. An urge to rip it from the flower outright. She made him complete, and he made her feel the same. His inner Freud was telling him to do more than just juxtapose with her on the mattress.
More importantly, Abstinence was a being too. It had a form, a mere Pandora, but that mask covered the largest amount of pureness. And it was more powerful than Freud would ever be.
Abstinence couldn't talk, but it's force was voice all on its own. Freud stood his ground, arms outward and exerting massive resistance upon the oppressive being of Abstinence.
But there's more than just oppression in Abstinence's arsenal. Love, hope, courage, and the ability to press out the inner amorous zeal were all there too. All there is with Freud is lust, craving, and helplessness.
Pure helplessness. It's just not enough.
Josh watched the battle rage in his mind, drawing juxtapositional with Freud and Abstinence to see their points of view. He was but a wraith in this war, but wraith had power. He'd known that from playing Halo as a boy.
Turns out video games can help just as much as reasoning. But combined, their power is enormous. Freud just didn't have video games in his time.
In mere seconds, Josh's apparition, willpower predominate over everything, dragooned his inner Freud to the outside world with the help of Abstinence.
Inside Josh's mind, Freud crashed through a barrier of the airspace they had been warring in, and Abstinence turned to him.
It caressed his cheek with a bare palm, to which Josh happily smiled, but he couldn't hide back an expression of surprise from breaking out. Abstinence looked at him questionably, but Josh was too shocked to answer.
Abstinence morphed slowly, turning more and more like...
"Wake up!"
Josh screamed at the top of his lungs as he was slapped wide across the face. He cowered in a corner, muttering slowly, "Abstinence, WHYWHYWHYWhywhywhywhywhy..." He paused. "WHY?!"
"Relax, Josh. Are you losing it already?" The same voice that had screamed at him the first time was the heir apparent to the words hanging in the air now. Josh slowly turned his head, uncovering his eyes, and supressed a heavy sigh of relief as he realized it was just Abigaill. Abstinence was starting to get a bit creepy this time. Before, it'd been his mother.
"Am I?" Josh whimpered, looking around the jeep. It had stalled, as he saw that the keys were out of the ignition and in Abigaill's pocket. The jeep was in a hotel parking lot. Josh was surprised Freud and Abstinence had waged such a long war. Normal skirmishes only lasted a few minutes.
A hand touched each side of his neck, and Josh froze stiff, hands hitting the roof with a whap. "Hardly, Abigaill. This is normal," Sarah's voice echoed through his eardrum. He put his arms down again but kept that same draconian grimace pasted on his face. Ants started up his jeans, and his knees buckled together. Abstinence wasn't helping this time; Freud must've breached his defenses again.
Abigaill shook her head, smiling comisserately with her eyes closed. She leaned her head back on the back of the driver's seat and looked back toward Sarah. "I've known that since before you met Josh. Stop being a Katie."
Katie, now taking serious interest in the conversation, and Sarah cocked one eyebrow in unison. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
Realizing she was the only one who even had the slightest dislike for Katie, Abigaill slapped herself on the forehead and groaned. "Never mind..."
Josh had used his internal willpower, a blazing sea of fire, to cremate Freud inside his mind for the time being, and finally chimed in. "Alright, alright. Enough with the concern of my sanity. I'm fine." He took in a puff of air before continuing. "What hotel are we staying in?"
Katie, for once, looked at him awkwardly, the first time he hadn't seen her effervesced. "The Mile High Inn, helloooo?"
Abigaill leaned her towards her window, but kept focused on the conversation. She snickered lightly every time Katie said something.
Josh threw his hands up, then leaned back, staring at the jeep ceiling. "Why would I care where you're boyfriend is? He isn't even related to this hotel!"
Katie leaned fowards, eyes full of hatred. "He means a lot to me! Just like you mean a lot to Sarah," she angrily puffed out. Sarah noticed her clench her fists, but assumed it was just instinct and smiled at Katie's reference to her. She let only herself know it was half-heartedly executed.
"Yeah so? Your boyfriend doesn't mean anything to me! I could care less what he means to you, you chit!" Josh folded his arms, not even looking at Katie's face.
Katie burst her tear sacs on the seats, hanging her head down as she did. Feelings of hatred, rage, and hurt swelled inside her. Would they mix and pour out like a perforated hurricane? Or would they just settle down and accept what Josh had said? Katie assumed the former was more domineering.
So be it.
"Sarah, take this," she managed to utter, taking from her pocket a silver necklace with a rhomboid damond on it. "You're my one true friend in this infernal world." She placed it in Sarah's hands, saw her confusion, which was satisfying enough, and looked at Abigaill.
"Look, I know you may not like me..." Abigaill was shocked. How could she know? And how long had she known? She continued, still in a mild pouting fit, "But take these. It's the only way I can thank you." She locked her hair behind her ears, taking out a diamond stud from each of her lobes and placing them in Abigaill's palm. "You showed me that love and compassion aren't your only friends. Sometimes, pure hatred can have pleasant effects too." Without looking to see Abigaill's reaction, she looked to Josh, who finally had enough guts to turn and look at this escapade of feelings and emotion.
"Josh, I may be a 'chit', if that's what you prefer me to be, but I have feelings too. I want you to take this..." She motioned down to her back pocket; Josh hadn't known it was a deathtrap waiting to be activated. She threw a sidearm straight to his cheek bone and extended her other arm's index finger, a nail grown much longer than her other ones. How come no one had noticed it?
"I want you to suffer..." Katie snarled, not showing any mercy in her assault. She scraped the nail along his neck, etching words in it that could only be of the Creed of Psychics. "Go... To..." She didn't have to finish the oath before burning the last word into his skin.
She opened the jeep's door, stepped out slowly, and smirked. Her gaze caught both of Abigaill and Sarah's terrified expressions, ones practically etched into their skin as well, and Josh's painful grimace, though he was battling consciousness now. "Au revoir, my good friends. Katie Andrews, signing off..." She let the words drawl out into the midnight air with a comminatory echo before dashing away across the street. Cars seemed to just miss her before continuing on their merry way.
Though he was battling consciousness, Josh was well aware of what she'd done. "So..." he painfully expelled from his mouth, "she was..." He coughed a dozen times. "the Sword of Damocles..." He smiled at Sarah, winked at Abigaill, and incinerated Freud one more time before hitting his head on the shotgun airbag container.
He couldn't even hear the screams of the girls, as the words Katie had inscribed on his neck deemed far too perspicacious to go unnoticed.
***
Abigaill was right. Some people are just not meant to be trusted. She had had it right from the beginning. Friendliness is half the time a mask for the cold-hearted's true ambitions. She cursed herself for not telling the others. Then again, they had found out soon enough.
At least Katie hadn't been another Judas. She could cope with a betrayor, as long as they had no one to betray. She didn't think Sarah nor Josh was dumb enough to fall for it. If they had, she would've known it.
Wouldn't she? That was a question currently pending, but the impetus to answer was what kept Abigaill going.
Laying him on the bed of the hotel room, she sat over the side of the mattress and put Sarah on the other side of him. Sarah was in no hurry to wake him as well; she spent her time fiddling with the diamond necklace Katie had given her, working her fingers across it's polished silver finish with keen interest.
Abigaill began to wonder. Had Katie actually meant the things she said? She probably did, or else she would've just taken out Josh with that punch right away. She probably did care about them, and more than Abigaill realized.
She had thought they were best friends after all. Just the three of them.
Abigaill pulled Katie's diamond studs from her back pocket and took a good look at them. They were finely crafted, and probably worth hundreds. The fastener was polished to the extreme, and the silver holding the diamond in place was teeming with color. Why had Katie trusted Abigaill enough to give her them?
Without pondering the fact, Abigaill put them on the bedside counter and flipped her hair over both ears. She took both hands and stripped her lobes of their gold hoops one by one and put them in pairs on the bed. Then she debated with which hole to put Katie's studs in.
Sarah had taken her attention from the necklace and slipped it onto her neck. She moved over Josh and sat beside Abigaill, looking intricately at her ears.
"So, which ones are you putting them in?" she asked. The holes seemed to beckon a feeling of undecidedness to her.
Abigaill shrugged. "I really don't know. Any ideas?" Abigaill asked back, purposefully deflecting the attention off her again.
Sarah debated the thought thoroughly. She didn't have a single idea. If she did, it didn't have a reason. Then a stray thought jumped her mind: her own ears. But they hadn't been done yet. Her father wouldn't allow it. Fighting it, she tried to push the thought out of her mind, but Abigaill was already onto her.
Abigaill went into the bathroom, then came back a few seconds later with a needle and sponge. Sarah lurched her head sideways in reluctant disapproval.
"Don't worry. It's sterilized," she told Sarah, holding out the needle to Sarah's face.
Sarah knew she wanted to. She'd be betraying her spirit in not doing it. It was just a matter of choice: would she rather let her spirit scold her? No, she decided. It would be much more painful than the needle.
"Do it," she demanded, then braced herself. A few seconds past, and nothing came. Sarah almost opened her eyes, but a sharp pain injected her left lobe. A sponge came at the back, and the pain subsided. So why was she feeling the coldness of metal now?
The needle was still in her ear. Great.
Then she heard footsteps, and Abigaill plopped on the bedside. "Heh, forgot to sterilize the other metals too..."
The coldness came out along with the needle, and another coldness entered, but without the pain of before. Sarah relaxed for a couple seconds; the other puncture wound occured, followed by the wetness of the sponge, and an injection of metal on her skin.
Then she felt Abigaill go behind her ears and slip the fasteners on-the process was complete. She dabbed Sarah's lobes with a cloth a few times, then slid backwards on the bed.
"Is it over?" Sarah stupidly asked, still with her eyes shut.
"Yes..." she heard Abigaill reply, then opened her eyes. Abigaill was threading her hoops back beneath her bangs, and when she was done, gave Sarah a hand mirror.
Sarah moved her head from one side to the other and back, just staring at her reflection. "You did your own by yourself, didn't you?" she jokingly asked.
Abigaill smiled and winked at the same time. "Nope. Improvised this one."
Sarah gulped silently, but still kept her smile showing. She didn't even want to know...
***
Here's 6. Comments as you will. ~AoH
EDIT: I thought this was a pretty darn good chapter. Can I at least get some nods of approval and such? Like SOME feedback, at least. Also, I was planning to write 7 today, but my brain isn't really working now. I'll try this afternoon maybe. ~AoH
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2)
*Post may be considered as a BUMP, but I feel it's more a progress update, thank you*
TPOR is taking up much of my time, so the next chapter here could be a bit. Maybe a week or so. I do have the fiirst third of 7 written down, but my mind is completely set on TPOR's #2 over NB's #7. No idea when the update will come, in short, but you never know.
~AoH
*Post may be considered as a BUMP, but I feel it's more a progress update, thank you*
TPOR is taking up much of my time, so the next chapter here could be a bit. Maybe a week or so. I do have the fiirst third of 7 written down, but my mind is completely set on TPOR's #2 over NB's #7. No idea when the update will come, in short, but you never know.
~AoH
I
Incinermyn
RE: No Bounds (PG-11-1/2): On hold for TPOR
It's fine. So long as you're still intending to update, you can bump this as much as you need to give clear explanations why there may be slight delays. Working on two (or more) projects at once usually eats up more spare-time than most people realize. I mean, I've been working on both Feral Twilight and Biohazard off-and-on for the past few years, but still have yet to actually complete them beyond the first couple chapters (I believe I said this before too). So take your time and do what you think is best for your stories.
Also, sorry for no serious critiques from me, but I've been pressed to find time to read fanfics lately. If it's any consolation, though, just keeping your stories strong and going means you're showing more incentive than most writers, AoH. So, keep it up.
It's fine. So long as you're still intending to update, you can bump this as much as you need to give clear explanations why there may be slight delays. Working on two (or more) projects at once usually eats up more spare-time than most people realize. I mean, I've been working on both Feral Twilight and Biohazard off-and-on for the past few years, but still have yet to actually complete them beyond the first couple chapters (I believe I said this before too). So take your time and do what you think is best for your stories.
Also, sorry for no serious critiques from me, but I've been pressed to find time to read fanfics lately. If it's any consolation, though, just keeping your stories strong and going means you're showing more incentive than most writers, AoH. So, keep it up.