No worries - you actually posted after the deadline, so it was fine.
Contest PokéBeach Create-A-Card: August 2017 - Light & Heavy - Text-Based Results Up!
- Thread starter bbninjas
- Start date
Fan-Voting Results
Image-Based:
1st: @WastedSkyPirate - Snorlax - 16 points
2nd: @demifiend700 - Rhyperior - 8.5 points
3rd: @Jabberwock - Cutiefly - 8 points
4th: @TheNyanCatXD - Scolipede BREAK - 7.5 points
5th: @professorlight - Kartana - 7 points
Text-Based:
1st: @TheAnticipationEevee - Heatran-GX - 10 points
2nd: [TIED] @NinjaPenguin - Gourgeist - 8.5 points || @DashKing - Arceus-GX - 8.5 points
4th: @GekkisaiDaiNi - Celesteela - 7.5 points
5th: @Lord o da rings - Minior - 6.5 points
Congratulations to the winners of the fanvoting! We'll keep you posted about how the official judging is going.
As you've probably noticed, the judging for both portions has been a quite held up for August; this due to a number of unexpected life stuff popping up for both judges. That said, the judges have been working hard and putting that time in to get that judging done as quickly as they can!
On another note, the text-based judging has just been completed, which I've now posted below. The image-based portion is still in the works, and CMP will get that done for you all as soon as he can.
On another note, the text-based judging has just been completed, which I've now posted below. The image-based portion is still in the works, and CMP will get that done for you all as soon as he can.
Text-Based Results
Judges: @bbninjas and @Luispipe8
It was a joint effort for the text-based this month, with myself doing entries 1 to 11, and Luis doing 12 to 17. I then went back through the entries and made sure that judging was consistent across the board, so rest assured - all entries were judging equally!
1. @Lord o da rings
2. @TheFlyingPidove
3. @TheAnticipationEevee
4. @crystal_pidgeot
5. @John InCENAroar
6. @DashKing
7. @blahblahbal
8. @rainyman123
9. @Lunarwork
10. @P3DS
11. @GekkisaiDaiNi
12. @Adam Ryder
13. @Tails
14. @NinjaPenguin
15. @Jadethepokemontrainer
16. @quakingpunch73
17. @GM DracLord
3rd Place: quakingpunch’s ubiquitous Uxie, with 44/50 points
2nd Place: TheFlyingPidove’s lit Lampent, with 46/50 points
1st Place: NinjaPenguin’s giga-sized Gourgeist, with a massive 49/50 points
Judges: @bbninjas and @Luispipe8
It was a joint effort for the text-based this month, with myself doing entries 1 to 11, and Luis doing 12 to 17. I then went back through the entries and made sure that judging was consistent across the board, so rest assured - all entries were judging equally!
1. @Lord o da rings
Minior HP: 80 - Colorless
Basic Pokémon
NO. 774 Meteor Pokémon HT: 1'00" WT: 0.7 lbs
Ability: Star Bits
This Pokémon's attacks do 20 more damage for every Minior in play (after applying Weakness and Resistance).
[C][C] Light as Air 20+
This attack does 20 more damage for every Pokémon in play that weighs less than 60 lbs.
Weakness: [L] x 2
Resistance: [F] - 20
Retreat: [C]
Pokédex: Originally making its home in the ozone layer, it hurtles to the ground when the shell enclosing its body grows too heavy.
Basic Pokémon
NO. 774 Meteor Pokémon HT: 1'00" WT: 0.7 lbs
Ability: Star Bits
This Pokémon's attacks do 20 more damage for every Minior in play (after applying Weakness and Resistance).
[C][C] Light as Air 20+
This attack does 20 more damage for every Pokémon in play that weighs less than 60 lbs.
Weakness: [L] x 2
Resistance: [F] - 20
Retreat: [C]
Pokédex: Originally making its home in the ozone layer, it hurtles to the ground when the shell enclosing its body grows too heavy.
Funnily enough, Light as Air is very similar to an effect that I used in my very first Create-A-Card, although I assume you didn’t base the effect off mine. Unfortunately there isn’t anything particularly exciting going on with that Ability - it’s a fairly standard damage booster.
The attack is probably a little high on the power side already, however that Ability pushes it over the edge. You can easily have 6 Pokemon that meet those weight requirements in play, which means you’re already hitting 140 for a DCE. That can be increased further with a Skyfield, and even further if four of those Pokemon are Minior - as Minior meet the weight requirements! You’d be hitting at least 220 with ease (140 + 80), and you’d probably break the format. Normally that’s why I’d suggest keeping any damage boosters on Basics to 10, as they are very difficult to balance outside that.
Wording Errors:
- ‘every’ should be ‘each’ x2 (-1.5pts)
- When referring to all of a Pokemon in play, there should be a “both your’s and your opponent’s” clause after “in play”. (-2pts)
- After ‘more damage’, you need to specify to what Pokemon the extra damage in the Ability applies to (for example, ‘your opponent’s Active Pokemon’), if you are going to use this particular wording structure. (-2pts)
- You need to specify how the player should consider Pokemon without a weight printed on the card. You could tell the player to ‘exclude’ those without a printed weight, or you could assign one. (-2pts)
References: ‘Star Bits’ - Weavile BUS, Keldeo XY Promos 191; ‘Light as Air’ - Cedric Juniper
Creativity: 14/20
(Playing with weight-related effects.)
Wording: 7.5/15
(A few major errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(A very potent combination that would flip the format on it's head.)
Total: 32.5/50
The attack is probably a little high on the power side already, however that Ability pushes it over the edge. You can easily have 6 Pokemon that meet those weight requirements in play, which means you’re already hitting 140 for a DCE. That can be increased further with a Skyfield, and even further if four of those Pokemon are Minior - as Minior meet the weight requirements! You’d be hitting at least 220 with ease (140 + 80), and you’d probably break the format. Normally that’s why I’d suggest keeping any damage boosters on Basics to 10, as they are very difficult to balance outside that.
Wording Errors:
- ‘every’ should be ‘each’ x2 (-1.5pts)
- When referring to all of a Pokemon in play, there should be a “both your’s and your opponent’s” clause after “in play”. (-2pts)
- After ‘more damage’, you need to specify to what Pokemon the extra damage in the Ability applies to (for example, ‘your opponent’s Active Pokemon’), if you are going to use this particular wording structure. (-2pts)
- You need to specify how the player should consider Pokemon without a weight printed on the card. You could tell the player to ‘exclude’ those without a printed weight, or you could assign one. (-2pts)
References: ‘Star Bits’ - Weavile BUS, Keldeo XY Promos 191; ‘Light as Air’ - Cedric Juniper
Creativity: 14/20
(Playing with weight-related effects.)
Wording: 7.5/15
(A few major errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(A very potent combination that would flip the format on it's head.)
Total: 32.5/50
2. @TheFlyingPidove
Lampent / Stage1 / HP: 80 / Fire
~ Evolves from Litwick
[ NO. 608 | Lamp Pokémon | HT: 2'o" | WT: 28.7 lbs. ]
[Ability] Heavy Flames
The Retreat Cost of each Burned Pokémon (both yours and your opponent's) is [C][C] more.
[R] Cursed Flares [20]
If your opponent's Active Pokémon has no Retreat Cost, you may leave that Pokémon Burned.
Weakness: [W] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C]
[Dex Entry: This is a very special Lamp. Which is why many evil creatures like Vracken have tried to steal this lamp several times.]
PB CaC Promo
~ Evolves from Litwick
[ NO. 608 | Lamp Pokémon | HT: 2'o" | WT: 28.7 lbs. ]
[Ability] Heavy Flames
The Retreat Cost of each Burned Pokémon (both yours and your opponent's) is [C][C] more.
[R] Cursed Flares [20]
If your opponent's Active Pokémon has no Retreat Cost, you may leave that Pokémon Burned.
Weakness: [W] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C]
[Dex Entry: This is a very special Lamp. Which is why many evil creatures like Vracken have tried to steal this lamp several times.]
PB CaC Promo
I quite like your take on the flavour, Pidove, with choosing Lampent! An Ability affecting Pokemon with certain Special Conditions isn’t anything particularly new, although I do like how the synergy between the attack and the Ability, especially because the attack balances the Ability every so slightly. It’s very clever! Cursed Flames also plays with a condition that is seldom used on actual cards.
Wording Errors:
I find none!
Creativity: 16/20
(Some very clever synergy balance.)
Wording: 15/15
(None!)
Believability: 15/15
(Well balanced!)
Total: 46/50
Wording Errors:
I find none!
Creativity: 16/20
(Some very clever synergy balance.)
Wording: 15/15
(None!)
Believability: 15/15
(Well balanced!)
Total: 46/50
3. @TheAnticipationEevee
Heatran-GX HP180
Basic Pokémon
Ability: Tough Metal
Prevent all effects of attacks, including damage, done to this Pokémon by each of your opponent’s Pokémon that has no Retreat Cost.
Volcanic Vortex 60
Your opponent’s Active Pokémon is now Burned. That Pokémon has no Retreat Cost until the end of your opponent’s next turn.
Heavy Bombardment GX 50x
Discard the top 5 cards of your opponent’s deck. This attack does 50 damage for each
in each of the discarded Pokémon's Retreat Cost. (You can’t use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Pokémon-GX rule: When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.
Weakness:
x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost:
Basic Pokémon
Ability: Tough Metal
Prevent all effects of attacks, including damage, done to this Pokémon by each of your opponent’s Pokémon that has no Retreat Cost.
Your opponent’s Active Pokémon is now Burned. That Pokémon has no Retreat Cost until the end of your opponent’s next turn.
Discard the top 5 cards of your opponent’s deck. This attack does 50 damage for each
Pokémon-GX rule: When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.
Weakness:
Resistance:
Retreat Cost:
This card is amusingly similar to Pidove’s Lampent in regards to synergy, although takes the other path with the attack reducing the Retreat Cost instead of increasing. The effects are more standard, however. There’s also one problem with this version - by reducing the Cost to zero, any player could easily retreat as to not be stalled by the Ability, and so the synergy between the attack and Ability is a bit… useless.
I quite like the GX attack, though! It’s a fresh way to spice up the ‘discard your deck and do damage’ type of effects, as it’s now about the types of Pokemon your discard, not whether you actually discard Pokemon. It adds a bit unpredictably. Power-wise, it might be a bit on the high end, as 2 [C][C] cost Pokemon nets 200 damage, but the unreliability and higher attack cost should keep that in check.
Wording Errors:
The correct wording for referring to a discard card is “card you discarded in this way”, as otherwise it could sound like you’re counting the already discarded Pokemon as well. So, the attack should be written “for each [C] in the Retreat Cost of the Pokemon you discarded in this way”. (-2pts)
References: ‘Heavy Bombardment’ - M Camerupt-EX
Creativity: 16/20
(Synergy (albeit a bit weird) and fresh spin on an old effect!)
Wording: 13/15
(A single major error.)
Believability: 13/15
(The synergy is a bit useless.)
Total: 42/50
I quite like the GX attack, though! It’s a fresh way to spice up the ‘discard your deck and do damage’ type of effects, as it’s now about the types of Pokemon your discard, not whether you actually discard Pokemon. It adds a bit unpredictably. Power-wise, it might be a bit on the high end, as 2 [C][C] cost Pokemon nets 200 damage, but the unreliability and higher attack cost should keep that in check.
Wording Errors:
The correct wording for referring to a discard card is “card you discarded in this way”, as otherwise it could sound like you’re counting the already discarded Pokemon as well. So, the attack should be written “for each [C] in the Retreat Cost of the Pokemon you discarded in this way”. (-2pts)
References: ‘Heavy Bombardment’ - M Camerupt-EX
Creativity: 16/20
(Synergy (albeit a bit weird) and fresh spin on an old effect!)
Wording: 13/15
(A single major error.)
Believability: 13/15
(The synergy is a bit useless.)
Total: 42/50
4. @crystal_pidgeot
Snorlax GX [C] HP190
Basic Pokemon
Ability: Truffle Shuffle
As long as this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, ignore all effects of your opponent's Abilities, attacks and Trainer cards done to this Pokémon.
[C][C][C][C][C] Smother Grab 160
You may switch your opponent's Active Pokémon with 1 of their Benched Pokémon before doing any damage.
[C][C] Jelly Roll GX
This attack does 100 damage to each of your opponent's Pokémon with a Pokémon Tool card attached to it. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness: [F]x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C][C]
Basic Pokemon
Ability: Truffle Shuffle
As long as this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, ignore all effects of your opponent's Abilities, attacks and Trainer cards done to this Pokémon.
[C][C][C][C][C] Smother Grab 160
You may switch your opponent's Active Pokémon with 1 of their Benched Pokémon before doing any damage.
[C][C] Jelly Roll GX
This attack does 100 damage to each of your opponent's Pokémon with a Pokémon Tool card attached to it. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness: [F]x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C][C]
As always, I quite like the attack names that you come up! However, none of the effects particularly grab me as exciting. Truffle Shuffle is a ramped version of a fairly standard preventive effect, Smother Grab is a better version of Staraptor BKT, and Jelly Roll is quite similar to Necromaza-GX.
Jelly Roll is actually quite powerful, dealing massive 100 damage snipe for only a DCE. To compare, Necromaza’s GX attack hits for three [C], and even then, that’s justified because most EXs/GXs will survive the attack. Snorlax, on the other hand, is notorious for it's very large attack costs - I’d be expecting [C][C][C][C] for that GX attack.
Wording Errors:
“Ignore all” should be “prevent all”. (-1pt)
There shouldn’t be an ‘any’ in Smother Grab. (-1pt)
“With a” in Jelly Roll should be “that have a”. (-1pt)
As you’re referring to an attack in Truffle Shuffle, you need to specify all effects ‘excluding damage’, as damage is technically an effect. (-2pts)
For ‘Smother Grab’, “Before doing damage” should be at the beginning of the clause. (-2pts)
There should be a “(Don’t apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)” clause in Jelly Roll. (-2pts)
References: Truffle Shuffle - Alolan Ninetales BUS; Smother Grab - Krookodile SUM; Jelly Roll - Yanmega STS, Necrozma-GX
Creativity: 14/20
(Some nice flavour.)
Wording: 6/15
(A few minor and major errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(Too low GX attack cost, both power-wise and for a Snorlax card)
Total: 33/50
Jelly Roll is actually quite powerful, dealing massive 100 damage snipe for only a DCE. To compare, Necromaza’s GX attack hits for three [C], and even then, that’s justified because most EXs/GXs will survive the attack. Snorlax, on the other hand, is notorious for it's very large attack costs - I’d be expecting [C][C][C][C] for that GX attack.
Wording Errors:
“Ignore all” should be “prevent all”. (-1pt)
There shouldn’t be an ‘any’ in Smother Grab. (-1pt)
“With a” in Jelly Roll should be “that have a”. (-1pt)
As you’re referring to an attack in Truffle Shuffle, you need to specify all effects ‘excluding damage’, as damage is technically an effect. (-2pts)
For ‘Smother Grab’, “Before doing damage” should be at the beginning of the clause. (-2pts)
There should be a “(Don’t apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)” clause in Jelly Roll. (-2pts)
References: Truffle Shuffle - Alolan Ninetales BUS; Smother Grab - Krookodile SUM; Jelly Roll - Yanmega STS, Necrozma-GX
Creativity: 14/20
(Some nice flavour.)
Wording: 6/15
(A few minor and major errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(Too low GX attack cost, both power-wise and for a Snorlax card)
Total: 33/50
5. @John InCENAroar
Torterra GX - [G] - HP 250
Stage 2 - Evolves from Grotle
Ability: Fertile Ground
Each of your [G] Pokemon can evolve on your first turn or the turn you played those Pokemon.
[G][G][G][G] Savage Ground 150
Until the end of your next turn, whenever each player plays a basic pokemon from their hand onto their bench, that pokemon takes 30 damage.
[G][G][G][C] Frenzy Plant GX 200
This attack does 30 damage to each of your opponent’s benched pokemon. (You can’t use more than 1 GX attack per game.)
Weakness: Fire (x2)
Resistance: None
Retreat: [C][C][C][C]
Stage 2 - Evolves from Grotle
Ability: Fertile Ground
Each of your [G] Pokemon can evolve on your first turn or the turn you played those Pokemon.
[G][G][G][G] Savage Ground 150
Until the end of your next turn, whenever each player plays a basic pokemon from their hand onto their bench, that pokemon takes 30 damage.
[G][G][G][C] Frenzy Plant GX 200
This attack does 30 damage to each of your opponent’s benched pokemon. (You can’t use more than 1 GX attack per game.)
Weakness: Fire (x2)
Resistance: None
Retreat: [C][C][C][C]
This is a card where we should see the Forest of Giant Plants effect - it’s much more balanced this way, and has great synergy with the Stage 2 it is on, as you still have to work actually set up, but it is quite sustainable once it is.
I also quite like Savage Ground. It reminds me of a few of those Stadium cards, although it’s refreshing to see the effect as an attack. The damage output might be a tad too high considering there’s no real drawbacks, even with the higher attack cost (notice how most 150 base damage attacks have an Energy discard). Frenzy Plant is pretty standard.
Wording Errors:
The ‘e’ in ‘Pokemon’ should be accented. x4 (-2.5 pts)
‘Played’ in the Ability should be in present tense - ‘play’. (-1pt)
‘Whenever each’ should be ‘whenever any’. (-1pt)
‘Pokemon’, ‘Basic’ and ‘Benched’ should each be capitalised. x5 (-3pts)
For Savage Ground, any damage outside of attack damage should be done as ‘damage counters’. So, ‘that Pokemon takes 30 damage’ should be ‘put 3 damage counters on that Pokemon’. (-2pts)
There should be a “(Don’t apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)” clause in Frenzy Plant. (-2pts)
References: Fertile Ground - Forest of Giant Plants; Savage Ground - Po Town BUS
Creativity: 14/20
(Refreshing use of some older Stadium effects.)
Wording: 3.5/15
(A number of minor and major errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Looks fine.)
Total: 32.5/50
I also quite like Savage Ground. It reminds me of a few of those Stadium cards, although it’s refreshing to see the effect as an attack. The damage output might be a tad too high considering there’s no real drawbacks, even with the higher attack cost (notice how most 150 base damage attacks have an Energy discard). Frenzy Plant is pretty standard.
Wording Errors:
The ‘e’ in ‘Pokemon’ should be accented. x4 (-2.5 pts)
‘Played’ in the Ability should be in present tense - ‘play’. (-1pt)
‘Whenever each’ should be ‘whenever any’. (-1pt)
‘Pokemon’, ‘Basic’ and ‘Benched’ should each be capitalised. x5 (-3pts)
For Savage Ground, any damage outside of attack damage should be done as ‘damage counters’. So, ‘that Pokemon takes 30 damage’ should be ‘put 3 damage counters on that Pokemon’. (-2pts)
There should be a “(Don’t apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)” clause in Frenzy Plant. (-2pts)
References: Fertile Ground - Forest of Giant Plants; Savage Ground - Po Town BUS
Creativity: 14/20
(Refreshing use of some older Stadium effects.)
Wording: 3.5/15
(A number of minor and major errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Looks fine.)
Total: 32.5/50
6. @DashKing
Arceus GX [C] HP 190
Ability: Multitype: Once during your turn (before your attack), you may choose as many Pokémon in play as you like. For each Pokémon that you choose, flip a coin. If you flip more tails than heads, than you may choose two of the types on your bench. This Pokémon is now those types (in addition to its current type(s) until the end of your opponent’s next turn. If you flip more heads than tails, choose up to 5 types on either your or your opponent’s bench. This Pokémon is now those types (in addition to its current type(s). If you flip the same amount of tails as heads, then pick one of your opponent’s Pokémon. That Pokémon now has no type until the end of your opponent’s next turn.
[C][C][C] Polymorph: 10+
Choose as many Basic Pokémon on your Bench as you like. Search your deck for a Basic Pokémon and switch it with that Pokémon. (Any attached cards, damage counters, Special Conditions, turns in play, and any other effects remain on the new Pokémon.) Shuffle the first Pokémon into your deck. This attack does 20 more for each Pokémon you switched with a Pokémon in your deck with the effect of this attack.
[C][C] Rainbow Blast GX: 10+
This attack does 20 more for every type in play. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness:
Resistance:
Retreat [C][C]
Pokedex: It is said to have emerged from an egg in a place where there was nothing, then shaped the world.
Ability: Multitype: Once during your turn (before your attack), you may choose as many Pokémon in play as you like. For each Pokémon that you choose, flip a coin. If you flip more tails than heads, than you may choose two of the types on your bench. This Pokémon is now those types (in addition to its current type(s) until the end of your opponent’s next turn. If you flip more heads than tails, choose up to 5 types on either your or your opponent’s bench. This Pokémon is now those types (in addition to its current type(s). If you flip the same amount of tails as heads, then pick one of your opponent’s Pokémon. That Pokémon now has no type until the end of your opponent’s next turn.
[C][C][C] Polymorph: 10+
Choose as many Basic Pokémon on your Bench as you like. Search your deck for a Basic Pokémon and switch it with that Pokémon. (Any attached cards, damage counters, Special Conditions, turns in play, and any other effects remain on the new Pokémon.) Shuffle the first Pokémon into your deck. This attack does 20 more for each Pokémon you switched with a Pokémon in your deck with the effect of this attack.
[C][C] Rainbow Blast GX: 10+
This attack does 20 more for every type in play. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness:
Resistance:
Retreat [C][C]
Pokedex: It is said to have emerged from an egg in a place where there was nothing, then shaped the world.
You’ve got a very ambitious card here, Dash! You’ve explored types in your effects quite extensively, with that luck-based Ability and a “flip more heads than tails” condition that I haven’t really seen much of. Polymorph is an interesting mass-Ninja Boy like effect. However, I’m not sure how you’ve incorporated weight, bar Arceus being a relatively heavy Pokemon.
As different as your effects are, there’s a lot of stuff going on, too much for that. Removing another Pokemon’s type is very random and feel out-of-place in amongst the effects that are changing Arceus’ type. There’s a lot of stuff going on before you even get to changing types - you have to choose Pokemon, flip coins, compare flips and then figure out what happens - which is pretty convoluted and unnecessarily lengthy. For example, you don’t actually need to choose Pokemon - you could just get the player to flip five coins, which would simplify the effect nicely. Similarly, Polymorph is a bit crazy with all that card swapping, it’d make for a very lengthy game due to choosing, coin flipping, card swapping, deck shuffling and the like that you’re having to do, which isn’t too good.
It’s a bit odd for a ,modern era Arceus to lack a Weakness and Resistance, although I understand where you’re coming from, as Arceus’ type will rarely be [C] due to it's Ability.
As you’ll find, there’s also a large number of wording errors, and although the numbers may not suggest improvement, there definitely is, and it is significant. You’ve clearly spent much time looking into references, and because of that you’ve got some trippy wording spot on in a few places. However, the effects themselves are very complicated, causing more ways to slip up, and that’s what these errors reflect. Keep up that referencing, as they’ve caused obvious improvement!
Wording Errors:
‘(before your attack)’ should be italicised. (-1pt)
‘Than you may choose’ should be ‘then you may choose’, to be grammatically correct. (-1pt)
You don’t need the ‘you may’ in the second “you may choose” for the Ability, as you’ve already given the player an option not to use the attack earlier in the effect. It’s sorta pointless to flip coins and then not follow through with the rest of the effect, right? (-1pt)
‘one’ should be in numerical form as ‘1’. (-1pt)
“20 more” should be “20 more damage”. X2 (-1.5pt)
‘bench’ should be capitalised as ‘Bench’. x2 (-1.5pts)
‘For every’ should be ‘for each’ (-1pt)
‘Type in play’ should be ‘different type in play’ (-1pt)
“That Pokémon now has no type” should be “That Pokémon has no type” (-1pt)
The correct wording structure is not “if…, then”, as ‘then’ is only ever used at the beginning of a sentence. Rather, you shouldn’t use ‘then’ at all. X2 (-1.5pts)
“(in addition to its current type(s)” should be “in addition to its existing types”. (-2pts)
I’m not a hundred percent sure what the correct wording would be for “choose two types on your bench”, however I do know this isn’t correct because there aren’t “types” on your Bench. I would word it as “choose two of your Benched Pokemon.”, and then instead of “This Pokemon is now those types”, I’d write “This Pokemon is the same type as the Pokemon you chose.” or even “...the same type as a type of the Pokemon you chose”. (Kecleon PLF, Arceus XY Promo, Luvdisc PL) x2 (-3pts)
References: Multitype - Jolteon AOR, Rainbow Blast - Arceus XY Promo
Creativity: 17/20
(Wild and extensive effects.)
Wording: 0/15
(A large number of errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(Unnecessarily lengthy effect, both in how it's written and when you’re using the effect.)
Total: 28/50
As different as your effects are, there’s a lot of stuff going on, too much for that. Removing another Pokemon’s type is very random and feel out-of-place in amongst the effects that are changing Arceus’ type. There’s a lot of stuff going on before you even get to changing types - you have to choose Pokemon, flip coins, compare flips and then figure out what happens - which is pretty convoluted and unnecessarily lengthy. For example, you don’t actually need to choose Pokemon - you could just get the player to flip five coins, which would simplify the effect nicely. Similarly, Polymorph is a bit crazy with all that card swapping, it’d make for a very lengthy game due to choosing, coin flipping, card swapping, deck shuffling and the like that you’re having to do, which isn’t too good.
It’s a bit odd for a ,modern era Arceus to lack a Weakness and Resistance, although I understand where you’re coming from, as Arceus’ type will rarely be [C] due to it's Ability.
As you’ll find, there’s also a large number of wording errors, and although the numbers may not suggest improvement, there definitely is, and it is significant. You’ve clearly spent much time looking into references, and because of that you’ve got some trippy wording spot on in a few places. However, the effects themselves are very complicated, causing more ways to slip up, and that’s what these errors reflect. Keep up that referencing, as they’ve caused obvious improvement!
Wording Errors:
‘(before your attack)’ should be italicised. (-1pt)
‘Than you may choose’ should be ‘then you may choose’, to be grammatically correct. (-1pt)
You don’t need the ‘you may’ in the second “you may choose” for the Ability, as you’ve already given the player an option not to use the attack earlier in the effect. It’s sorta pointless to flip coins and then not follow through with the rest of the effect, right? (-1pt)
‘one’ should be in numerical form as ‘1’. (-1pt)
“20 more” should be “20 more damage”. X2 (-1.5pt)
‘bench’ should be capitalised as ‘Bench’. x2 (-1.5pts)
‘For every’ should be ‘for each’ (-1pt)
‘Type in play’ should be ‘different type in play’ (-1pt)
“That Pokémon now has no type” should be “That Pokémon has no type” (-1pt)
The correct wording structure is not “if…, then”, as ‘then’ is only ever used at the beginning of a sentence. Rather, you shouldn’t use ‘then’ at all. X2 (-1.5pts)
“(in addition to its current type(s)” should be “in addition to its existing types”. (-2pts)
I’m not a hundred percent sure what the correct wording would be for “choose two types on your bench”, however I do know this isn’t correct because there aren’t “types” on your Bench. I would word it as “choose two of your Benched Pokemon.”, and then instead of “This Pokemon is now those types”, I’d write “This Pokemon is the same type as the Pokemon you chose.” or even “...the same type as a type of the Pokemon you chose”. (Kecleon PLF, Arceus XY Promo, Luvdisc PL) x2 (-3pts)
References: Multitype - Jolteon AOR, Rainbow Blast - Arceus XY Promo
Creativity: 17/20
(Wild and extensive effects.)
Wording: 0/15
(A large number of errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(Unnecessarily lengthy effect, both in how it's written and when you’re using the effect.)
Total: 28/50
7. @blahblahbal
Palkia GX - Water - HP190
Basic Pokémon
[W][W]ooiooooooVortex Chopooooooooooooo50
[W][W][P][C]ooiooSpatial Vortexooooooooooo130
Discard an Energy from both Active Pokémon.
[W][P][C]oooooooAnother Vortex GXoooooooo40x
Your opponent shuffles their hand into their deck.
This attack does 40 damage for each card shuffled
into your opponent's deck. (You can't use more
than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Pokémon-GX rule: When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.
Weakness: [L] x2
Resistance: None
Retreat: 3
It is said to live in a gap in the spatial dimension parallel to ours. It appears in mythology.
Basic Pokémon
[W][W]ooiooooooVortex Chopooooooooooooo50
[W][W][P][C]ooiooSpatial Vortexooooooooooo130
Discard an Energy from both Active Pokémon.
[W][P][C]oooooooAnother Vortex GXoooooooo40x
Your opponent shuffles their hand into their deck.
This attack does 40 damage for each card shuffled
into your opponent's deck. (You can't use more
than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Pokémon-GX rule: When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.
Weakness: [L] x2
Resistance: None
Retreat: 3
It is said to live in a gap in the spatial dimension parallel to ours. It appears in mythology.
I quite like the consistent ‘vortex’ theme throughout the flavour of the card. However, the actual effects are a bit bland. I’d recommend keeping away from effectless attacks in a Create-A-Card, as typical they have become, as they’re not inspired.
Spatial Vortex is a buffed up Energy discarder, so it’s pretty standard. Having the same effect inflicted on you and your opponent is nice in theory, but practically is not balanced, since you can prepare through your own deck construction and your opponent cannot. As such, I’m a bit wary about the power levels here, due to the power of consistently discarding your opponent’s Energy, however I think it should be fine due to that hefty attack cost.
I like the spin you’ve taken on hand disruption via Another Vortex, by putting damage to it. It’s an interesting take! However, it is a bit too powerful even for a GX attack, as you’re reducing your opponent’s hand to 0 (which can be game-swingly difficult to bounce back from) and potentially taking a few prize cards. Your opponent could go into a dead draw, and you’ve practically autowon. With this sort of effect, your opponent generally needs to draw at least few cards so that they have options.
The weakness for most [W] type Pokemon, including Palkia, is [G] type - not [L] type - as of the XY-era onwards.
Wording Errors:
“Discard an Energy from...” should be “Discard an Energy attached to...” (-1pt)
There should be an “in this way” after “...into your opponent’s deck”. (-2pts)
References: Spatial Vortex - Shining Lugia; Another Vortex - Whiscash GRI
Creativity: 13/20
(Interesting spin with Another Vortex.)
Wording: 12/15
(A couple of errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(A bit of a powerful GX attack, abnormal Weakness type.)
Total: 39/50
Spatial Vortex is a buffed up Energy discarder, so it’s pretty standard. Having the same effect inflicted on you and your opponent is nice in theory, but practically is not balanced, since you can prepare through your own deck construction and your opponent cannot. As such, I’m a bit wary about the power levels here, due to the power of consistently discarding your opponent’s Energy, however I think it should be fine due to that hefty attack cost.
I like the spin you’ve taken on hand disruption via Another Vortex, by putting damage to it. It’s an interesting take! However, it is a bit too powerful even for a GX attack, as you’re reducing your opponent’s hand to 0 (which can be game-swingly difficult to bounce back from) and potentially taking a few prize cards. Your opponent could go into a dead draw, and you’ve practically autowon. With this sort of effect, your opponent generally needs to draw at least few cards so that they have options.
The weakness for most [W] type Pokemon, including Palkia, is [G] type - not [L] type - as of the XY-era onwards.
Wording Errors:
“Discard an Energy from...” should be “Discard an Energy attached to...” (-1pt)
There should be an “in this way” after “...into your opponent’s deck”. (-2pts)
References: Spatial Vortex - Shining Lugia; Another Vortex - Whiscash GRI
Creativity: 13/20
(Interesting spin with Another Vortex.)
Wording: 12/15
(A couple of errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(A bit of a powerful GX attack, abnormal Weakness type.)
Total: 39/50
8. @rainyman123
Aggron HP 170 Metal
Stage 2 - Evolves from Lairon
/Ability/ - Heavyweight
The retreat cost of each of your opponent's Basic Pokémon in play is [C][C] more.
[M][M][M][M] Iron Swinger 100+
Flip a coin for each [C] in the Retreat cost of each Pokémon in play. This attack does 10 damage times the number of heads.
Weakness: Fire x2
Resistance: Psychic -20
Retreat: 4
Stage 2 - Evolves from Lairon
/Ability/ - Heavyweight
The retreat cost of each of your opponent's Basic Pokémon in play is [C][C] more.
[M][M][M][M] Iron Swinger 100+
Flip a coin for each [C] in the Retreat cost of each Pokémon in play. This attack does 10 damage times the number of heads.
Weakness: Fire x2
Resistance: Psychic -20
Retreat: 4
Unfortunately there’s nothing here that is particularly new when it comes to playing with Retreat Costs. Heavyweight is a fairly standard Retreat Cost increaser Ability, and Iron Swinger is quite similar to Piloswine BKT, although the flavour is quite nice!
Iron Swinger is not so much overpowered but rather impractical. You’re already flipping 4 coins in your attacking Aggron and conservatively at least 2 from it’s Ability, plus another 7ish at least if you’ve got your backup Aggron lines ready (as you would) and perhaps a few of your low-Retreat Cost support Pokemon. With [C] or [C][C] fairly typical, your opponent would probably have at least 4, if not closer to 10. You’re flipping some 20 coins for a single attack, on a low estimate, and so you’ll spend most time just flipping coins, and your opponent will probably concede before you actually finish the game.
Wording Errors:
‘retreat cost’ should be ‘Retreat Cost’. X2 (-1.5pts).
Creativity: 13/20
(Slight tweaks to some previously explored Retreat Cost effects.)
Wording: 13.5/15
(A minor slip.)
Believability: 13/15
(Too many coin flips!)
Total: 39.5/50
Iron Swinger is not so much overpowered but rather impractical. You’re already flipping 4 coins in your attacking Aggron and conservatively at least 2 from it’s Ability, plus another 7ish at least if you’ve got your backup Aggron lines ready (as you would) and perhaps a few of your low-Retreat Cost support Pokemon. With [C] or [C][C] fairly typical, your opponent would probably have at least 4, if not closer to 10. You’re flipping some 20 coins for a single attack, on a low estimate, and so you’ll spend most time just flipping coins, and your opponent will probably concede before you actually finish the game.
Wording Errors:
‘retreat cost’ should be ‘Retreat Cost’. X2 (-1.5pts).
Creativity: 13/20
(Slight tweaks to some previously explored Retreat Cost effects.)
Wording: 13.5/15
(A minor slip.)
Believability: 13/15
(Too many coin flips!)
Total: 39.5/50
9. @Lunarwork
Basic - Guzzlord - HP 190 - {D}
No.799 - Junkivore Pokemon - HT. 18'01" WT. 1957.7 lbs.
Ability: Ultra Devour
If any of your opponent's Pokemon has any Special Energy cards attached to it,
those Pokemon can't retreat as long as this Pokemon is in play.
{C}{C} Hyper Vacuum - 70
You may draw 2 cards from your deck. If you do, discard an Energy
attached to this Pokemon.
{D}{F}{G}{C}{C} Vortex Abyssal - 200
Place 3 damage counters on this Pokemon.
Weakness: {Y} x2
Resistance:
Retreat: {C}{C}{C}{C}
A dangerous Ultra Beast, it appears to be eating constantly,
but for some reason its droppings have never been found.
No.799 - Junkivore Pokemon - HT. 18'01" WT. 1957.7 lbs.
Ability: Ultra Devour
If any of your opponent's Pokemon has any Special Energy cards attached to it,
those Pokemon can't retreat as long as this Pokemon is in play.
{C}{C} Hyper Vacuum - 70
You may draw 2 cards from your deck. If you do, discard an Energy
attached to this Pokemon.
{D}{F}{G}{C}{C} Vortex Abyssal - 200
Place 3 damage counters on this Pokemon.
Weakness: {Y} x2
Resistance:
Retreat: {C}{C}{C}{C}
A dangerous Ultra Beast, it appears to be eating constantly,
but for some reason its droppings have never been found.
To be honest, I don’t fully get the flavour correlation between Ultra Devour, Special Energies and preventing a Pokemon from retreating. The only thing I can think of is Guzzlord feeds off Special Energies and expands to become Snorlax retreat-blocking wall, which is a bit of stretch.
The effects themselves can be broken up into a few standard effects put together in some different ways, which is nice enough. Ultra Devour puts the good ol’ “Special Energy” condition with a “you can’t retreat”, and in Hyper Vacuum you see some extra draw with a “discard an Energy” drawback.
Wording Errors:
You don’t need to say “from your deck”, as it's a given that you draw cards from your deck. (-1pt)
The “as long as this Pokemon is in play.” always belongs at the beginning of the effect, not the end. (-2pts)
You don’t need the “If” format for the Ability, and rather it should be written without it as so: “...your opponent’s Pokémon that has any Special Energy attached to it can’t retreat.” (-2pts)
References: Ultra Devour - Venusaur SHL, Draglage FLF, Aegislash-EX
Creativity: 13/20
(Playing with some old effects in new combinations.)
Wording: 10/15
(A few minor and major errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Looks fine to me.)
Edited: -2pts
Total: 36/50
The effects themselves can be broken up into a few standard effects put together in some different ways, which is nice enough. Ultra Devour puts the good ol’ “Special Energy” condition with a “you can’t retreat”, and in Hyper Vacuum you see some extra draw with a “discard an Energy” drawback.
Wording Errors:
You don’t need to say “from your deck”, as it's a given that you draw cards from your deck. (-1pt)
The “as long as this Pokemon is in play.” always belongs at the beginning of the effect, not the end. (-2pts)
You don’t need the “If” format for the Ability, and rather it should be written without it as so: “...your opponent’s Pokémon that has any Special Energy attached to it can’t retreat.” (-2pts)
References: Ultra Devour - Venusaur SHL, Draglage FLF, Aegislash-EX
Creativity: 13/20
(Playing with some old effects in new combinations.)
Wording: 10/15
(A few minor and major errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Looks fine to me.)
Edited: -2pts
Total: 36/50
10. @P3DS
Drifloon - Psychic - HP 50 - Basic Pokemon
NO. 425 Balloon Pokemon HT: 1'04" WT: 2.6 lbs
Ability: Balloon Ride
Once during your turn (before your attack), if this Pokémon is on your Bench, you may discard all cards attached to this Pokémon and attach it to 1 of your Pokémon as a Pokémon Tool card. The Pokémon this card is attached to has no Retreat Cost. The Pokémon this card is attached to can also use the attack on this card. (You still need the necessary Energy to use this attack.) If the Pokémon this card is attached to is damaged by an opponent's attack, discard this card.
[C][C] Spirited Away
If the attacking Pokemon is Drifloon, you may shuffle 1 of your opponent’s Benched Pokemon, and all cards attached to it, into your opponent’s deck. Shuffle this Pokemon into your deck. (Discard all cards attached to that Pokemon.)
Weakness: [L] (2x)
Resistance: [F] (-20)
Retreat: 0
If for some reason its body bursts, its soul spills out with a screaming sound.
NO. 425 Balloon Pokemon HT: 1'04" WT: 2.6 lbs
Ability: Balloon Ride
Once during your turn (before your attack), if this Pokémon is on your Bench, you may discard all cards attached to this Pokémon and attach it to 1 of your Pokémon as a Pokémon Tool card. The Pokémon this card is attached to has no Retreat Cost. The Pokémon this card is attached to can also use the attack on this card. (You still need the necessary Energy to use this attack.) If the Pokémon this card is attached to is damaged by an opponent's attack, discard this card.
[C][C] Spirited Away
If the attacking Pokemon is Drifloon, you may shuffle 1 of your opponent’s Benched Pokemon, and all cards attached to it, into your opponent’s deck. Shuffle this Pokemon into your deck. (Discard all cards attached to that Pokemon.)
Weakness: [L] (2x)
Resistance: [F] (-20)
Retreat: 0
If for some reason its body bursts, its soul spills out with a screaming sound.
I really like how flavour has really inspired the effects that you’ve designed. Balloon Ride is thematic and makes sense, and the sharing of attacks would be weird in all cases except for this one.
Spirited Away is a cool concept, but it falls over because you’ve written it so it is only usable by Drifloon - the Pokemon you attach this card to will probably never be another Drifloon, and so Balloon Ride’s attack sharing is somewhat useless. Even then, it’s a bit pointless to attach Drifloon to a Pokemon intentionally to use that attack, as you might you as well use just the attack with the Drifloon itself. I’m a tad concerned about power, as with the right deck engine you could easily have a never-ending supply of Spirited Away Drifloons - you don’t even have to evolve anything - each instantly powered up via a Double Colourless attachment (or other quick Energy acceleration), and by using Lysandre-like effects, it’d become a potent strategy to just Spirit Away your opponent’s ‘mon’s until their deck runs dry of draw cards. It’s just too easy to lock down your opponent.
Wording Errors:
“attacking” should be capitalised as “Attacking”. (-1pt)
The ‘e’ in “Pokemon” should be accented. x4 (-2.5pts)
Your use of “the Attacking Pokemon” is weird, as since the clause is in an attack, the Pokemon that is attacking should always be ‘this Pokemon’, which would be proper term to use. (-1pt)
There should be a “Then,” before “Shuffle this Pokemon”. (-1pt)
When referring to the same entity twice in the same way, such as in “The Pokemon this card is attached to” you’d actually join the sentences together using ‘and’, perhaps with a comma. As such, the correct structure for Balloon Ride is: “...has no Retreat Cost and can…”. (-2pts) (See Gastrodon STS).
You don’t ever shuffle your opponent’s stuff. Rather, you choose the Pokemon and then your opponent does the shuffling. As such, the Spirited Away effect should say “If… , choose 1 of opponent’s Pokémon. Your opponent shuffles that Pokémon and all cards attached to it into their deck.” (-2pts)
I see you’ve used a Supporter as a reference for the second part of Spirited Away. However, the wording is actually a bit different for a Pokemon: “...discard all cards attached to this Pokémon and shuffle this Pokémon into your deck.” (-2pts)
References: Spirited Away - Shiftry NXD, Wishiwashi SUM
Creativity: 17/20
(Great use of flavour to explore new design space.)
Wording: 3.5/15
(A number of trippy errors.)
Believability: 12/15
(Too easy to lock down your opponent.)
Edit penalty: -2pts
Total: 30.5/50
Spirited Away is a cool concept, but it falls over because you’ve written it so it is only usable by Drifloon - the Pokemon you attach this card to will probably never be another Drifloon, and so Balloon Ride’s attack sharing is somewhat useless. Even then, it’s a bit pointless to attach Drifloon to a Pokemon intentionally to use that attack, as you might you as well use just the attack with the Drifloon itself. I’m a tad concerned about power, as with the right deck engine you could easily have a never-ending supply of Spirited Away Drifloons - you don’t even have to evolve anything - each instantly powered up via a Double Colourless attachment (or other quick Energy acceleration), and by using Lysandre-like effects, it’d become a potent strategy to just Spirit Away your opponent’s ‘mon’s until their deck runs dry of draw cards. It’s just too easy to lock down your opponent.
Wording Errors:
“attacking” should be capitalised as “Attacking”. (-1pt)
The ‘e’ in “Pokemon” should be accented. x4 (-2.5pts)
Your use of “the Attacking Pokemon” is weird, as since the clause is in an attack, the Pokemon that is attacking should always be ‘this Pokemon’, which would be proper term to use. (-1pt)
There should be a “Then,” before “Shuffle this Pokemon”. (-1pt)
When referring to the same entity twice in the same way, such as in “The Pokemon this card is attached to” you’d actually join the sentences together using ‘and’, perhaps with a comma. As such, the correct structure for Balloon Ride is: “...has no Retreat Cost and can…”. (-2pts) (See Gastrodon STS).
You don’t ever shuffle your opponent’s stuff. Rather, you choose the Pokemon and then your opponent does the shuffling. As such, the Spirited Away effect should say “If… , choose 1 of opponent’s Pokémon. Your opponent shuffles that Pokémon and all cards attached to it into their deck.” (-2pts)
I see you’ve used a Supporter as a reference for the second part of Spirited Away. However, the wording is actually a bit different for a Pokemon: “...discard all cards attached to this Pokémon and shuffle this Pokémon into your deck.” (-2pts)
References: Spirited Away - Shiftry NXD, Wishiwashi SUM
Creativity: 17/20
(Great use of flavour to explore new design space.)
Wording: 3.5/15
(A number of trippy errors.)
Believability: 12/15
(Too easy to lock down your opponent.)
Edit penalty: -2pts
Total: 30.5/50
11. @GekkisaiDaiNi
Basic Celesteela HP180[M]
Ability Glass Cannon
Once this Pokémon has attacked two times, it is Knocked Out.
[M][M]C][C] Shards
Put a number of damage counters on this Pokémon up to the number of this Pokémon's remaining HP. For each damage counter put on to this Pokémon in this way, put two damage counters on your opponent's Active Pokémon.
Weakness: [R]x2 Resistance: [P]-20 Retreat: [C][C][C][C]
Ability Glass Cannon
Once this Pokémon has attacked two times, it is Knocked Out.
[M][M]C][C] Shards
Put a number of damage counters on this Pokémon up to the number of this Pokémon's remaining HP. For each damage counter put on to this Pokémon in this way, put two damage counters on your opponent's Active Pokémon.
Weakness: [R]x2 Resistance: [P]-20 Retreat: [C][C][C][C]
I like the concept of Glass Cannon! It’s a short and simple effect, but effective and certainly very different. I’m just not sure about the practicalities - how are you supposed to reliably remember the number of times you’ve attacked with that particular Celesteela, especially if you’ve, say, retreated it? You’d need to have some sort of physical ‘counter’ (and there’s creative ways beyond a simple marker), or a way to turn the card, to indicate the current stage of the Ability.
Shards is also neat, although doesn’t really work with Glass Cannon. The playstyle you’d be going for with a Glass Cannon Ability is dishing out large damage quickly, but that high attack cost that will cause you to attack rather slowly. Besides, Celesteela will probably be Knocked Out due to the damage counters placed by attack after the second turn anyway, so the Ability is a bit useless. I suppose it could prevent abuse from effects that increase HP (or healing)... until you just turn it off with a simple Garbotoxin/Silent Lab-esque Ability blocker. It’s a nice idea, but it needs a bit of fine-tuning.
Wording Errors:
‘two’ should be in its numerical form, ‘2’. x2 (-1.5pts)
‘two times’ has never been used to refer to ‘two instances’, and rather ‘twice’ is used. (-1pt)
“attacked” should be “used an attack”. (-1pt)
You can’t put a number of damage counters equal to the number of HP remaining, as that’d mean you can put 10 damage counters for 10 HP remaining. (-2pts). Additionally, the entire clause structure of the effect would be quite different, and much more like this: “Put as many damage counters as you like on this Pokemon. (You can’t put more than this Pokemon’s remaining HP.)” (another -2pts).
References: Glass Cannon - Holon Circle, Shards - Banette SW
Creativity: 17/20
(Some very different, flavourful effects.)
Wording: 7.5/15
(A few minor errors and complex errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(Out-of-place attack-ability combination, and abusable attack.)
Edit penalty: -2pts
Total: 34.5/50
Shards is also neat, although doesn’t really work with Glass Cannon. The playstyle you’d be going for with a Glass Cannon Ability is dishing out large damage quickly, but that high attack cost that will cause you to attack rather slowly. Besides, Celesteela will probably be Knocked Out due to the damage counters placed by attack after the second turn anyway, so the Ability is a bit useless. I suppose it could prevent abuse from effects that increase HP (or healing)... until you just turn it off with a simple Garbotoxin/Silent Lab-esque Ability blocker. It’s a nice idea, but it needs a bit of fine-tuning.
Wording Errors:
‘two’ should be in its numerical form, ‘2’. x2 (-1.5pts)
‘two times’ has never been used to refer to ‘two instances’, and rather ‘twice’ is used. (-1pt)
“attacked” should be “used an attack”. (-1pt)
You can’t put a number of damage counters equal to the number of HP remaining, as that’d mean you can put 10 damage counters for 10 HP remaining. (-2pts). Additionally, the entire clause structure of the effect would be quite different, and much more like this: “Put as many damage counters as you like on this Pokemon. (You can’t put more than this Pokemon’s remaining HP.)” (another -2pts).
References: Glass Cannon - Holon Circle, Shards - Banette SW
Creativity: 17/20
(Some very different, flavourful effects.)
Wording: 7.5/15
(A few minor errors and complex errors.)
Believability: 11/15
(Out-of-place attack-ability combination, and abusable attack.)
Edit penalty: -2pts
Total: 34.5/50
12. @Adam Ryder
Alolan Golem - Rock/Electric - HP160
Stage 2 Pokémon - Evolves from Alolan Graveler
Ability: Steel Attraction
If your opponent has any [M] type Pokémon on his or her bench, choose one and switch it with the Active Pokémon.
[F][L][C][C] Boulder Cannon 80+
This attack does 30 more damage for each Geodude and Alolan Geodude on your bench.
Weakness: Grass (x2) Resistance: Steel (-20)
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C][C]
It fires rocks charged with electricity. Even if the rock isn't fired that accurately, just grazing an opponent will cause numbness and fainting.
Stage 2 Pokémon - Evolves from Alolan Graveler
Ability: Steel Attraction
If your opponent has any [M] type Pokémon on his or her bench, choose one and switch it with the Active Pokémon.
[F][L][C][C] Boulder Cannon 80+
This attack does 30 more damage for each Geodude and Alolan Geodude on your bench.
Weakness: Grass (x2) Resistance: Steel (-20)
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C][C]
It fires rocks charged with electricity. Even if the rock isn't fired that accurately, just grazing an opponent will cause numbness and fainting.
Steel Attraction is a nice concept overall, but it’s not worded properly since it’d be an active Ability (as in, “Once during your turn (before your attack), if your opponent has any [M] Pokémon on their Bench, you may switch 1 of those Pokémon with your opponent’s Active Pokémon”). Then, Boulder Cannon can reach a relatively high damage output assuming you have your 3 remaining Alolan Geodude and 4 regular Geodude, reaching 290… but still you’d probably be left with nothing else in the field and the Energy cost is way too high to be streamed one after another; and the Ability is way too situational and would work against a single deck. If thiswas printed while Jirachi-EX was being played then it’d be way better, but it’s definitely not broken. In terms of creativity, the card has a cool Ability that hasn’t really been seen so far, but the attack’s effect has been seen in a whole variety of ways over the years.
Wording Errors:
“Bench” should be capitalized, x2. (-1.5pt)
‘One’ should be written as ‘1’. (-1pt)
‘[M] type Pokémon’ should just be ‘[M] Pokémon’ (-1pt)
‘the Active Pokemon’ should be ‘your opponent’s Active Pokemon’. (-1pt)
Whole rewording of the Ability (-2pts)
Creativity: 14/20
(Ability is nice, but attack is not so much.)
Wording: 8.5/15
(The Ability and some minor errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Balanced effects, proper costs.)
Total: 37.5/50
Wording Errors:
“Bench” should be capitalized, x2. (-1.5pt)
‘One’ should be written as ‘1’. (-1pt)
‘[M] type Pokémon’ should just be ‘[M] Pokémon’ (-1pt)
‘the Active Pokemon’ should be ‘your opponent’s Active Pokemon’. (-1pt)
Whole rewording of the Ability (-2pts)
Creativity: 14/20
(Ability is nice, but attack is not so much.)
Wording: 8.5/15
(The Ability and some minor errors.)
Believability: 15/15
(Balanced effects, proper costs.)
Total: 37.5/50
13. @Tails
Kartana [M] HP: 100
Basic Pokémon
No: 798 Drawn Sword Pokémon HT: 1'00" WT: 0.2 lbs
Ability: Know When to Fold Them
If Kartana is your Active Pokémon, and has less than 50 HP, you may Knock Out this Pokémon. During the turn you activate this effect, your attacks do 30 more damage to your opponents' Active Pokémon. (Apply the effect before applying Weakness or Resistance, and you cannot use this Ability if Kartana is affected by a Special Condition.)
[M] [C] [C] Paper Cut 60
This attack is not affected by Weakness or Resistance on your opponents' Active Pokémon.
Weakness - [R] x2
Resistance -
Retreat Cost - [C]
"One of the Ultra Beast life-forms, it was observed cutting down a gigantic steel tower with one stroke of its blade."
Basic Pokémon
No: 798 Drawn Sword Pokémon HT: 1'00" WT: 0.2 lbs
Ability: Know When to Fold Them
If Kartana is your Active Pokémon, and has less than 50 HP, you may Knock Out this Pokémon. During the turn you activate this effect, your attacks do 30 more damage to your opponents' Active Pokémon. (Apply the effect before applying Weakness or Resistance, and you cannot use this Ability if Kartana is affected by a Special Condition.)
[M] [C] [C] Paper Cut 60
This attack is not affected by Weakness or Resistance on your opponents' Active Pokémon.
Weakness - [R] x2
Resistance -
Retreat Cost - [C]
"One of the Ultra Beast life-forms, it was observed cutting down a gigantic steel tower with one stroke of its blade."
I really like that Ability, it’s a really big boost to an attack and in a Basic Pokémon, but at the huge price of giving your opponent a free Prize Card. In the way of Cofagrigus PLF and Milotic FLF, there’s some Pokémon that could use this to an advantage. I somewhat feel like a Pokémon like the upcoming Guzzlord-GX can make a huge blowout with its GX attack, but there aren’t really any game-breaking combos with this Ability. Besides, it’s creative in its own way. Then, the attack could be better, it’s plain and simple with a rather low damage output for 3 Energy, but it’s in a tough spot where a good attack can make the card all too powerful.
Wording Errors:
“This Pokémon” instead of “Kartana”. (-1pt)
“(...) 50HP remaining” (-1pt)
“During the turn you activate this effect” should just be “During this turn”. (-1pt)
“Your Pokémon’s attacks” instead of “your attacks”. (-1pt)
“You can’t use” instead of “You cannot use”. (-1pt)
“Apply the effect before applying Weakness or Resistance” should just be “before applying Weakness and Resistance” (-1pt)
“On your opponents’ Active Pokémon” shouldn’t be there, and also typo with the apostrophe (-1.5pts)
There should be an “If you do” before “During…” (-2pts)
References: Wishiwashi SM, Professor Kukui.
Creativity: 16/20
(Really good Ability, really meh attack.)
Wording: 5.5/15
(Several wording errors, look out more carefully.)
Believability: 14/15
(A good damage booster at a proper cost, relatively well balanced.)
Total: 35.5/50
Wording Errors:
“This Pokémon” instead of “Kartana”. (-1pt)
“(...) 50HP remaining” (-1pt)
“During the turn you activate this effect” should just be “During this turn”. (-1pt)
“Your Pokémon’s attacks” instead of “your attacks”. (-1pt)
“You can’t use” instead of “You cannot use”. (-1pt)
“Apply the effect before applying Weakness or Resistance” should just be “before applying Weakness and Resistance” (-1pt)
“On your opponents’ Active Pokémon” shouldn’t be there, and also typo with the apostrophe (-1.5pts)
There should be an “If you do” before “During…” (-2pts)
References: Wishiwashi SM, Professor Kukui.
Creativity: 16/20
(Really good Ability, really meh attack.)
Wording: 5.5/15
(Several wording errors, look out more carefully.)
Believability: 14/15
(A good damage booster at a proper cost, relatively well balanced.)
Total: 35.5/50
14. @NinjaPenguin
Stage 1~ Evolves from Pumpkaboo\Gourgeist\HP 110\Grass
NO. 711 Pumpkin Pokémon HT: 5’07" WT: 86.0 lbs.
Ability: Trick-or-Treat
As long as this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, your opponent’s Active Pokémon is a [P] Pokémon instead of its existing types.
[G][C] Heavy Heart 20x
This attack does 20 damage for each of your opponent’s Pokémon with weight less than this Pokémon’s. During your opponent’s next turn, this Pokémon takes 50 more damage from attacks from each of your opponent’s Pokémon with weight greater than this Pokémon’s (after applying Weakness and Resistance). (If a Pokémon doesn't have the weight printed on the card, treat it as less than this Pokémon’s.)
[G][G][G] Ruining Light
Devolve each of your opponent's evolved Pokémon and put the highest Stage Evolution card on it into your opponent's hand. Then, your opponent reveals their hand. For each Pokémon card you find there, put 1 damage counter on your opponent's Pokémon in any way you like.
Weakness: [R] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C]
Children like to pick Gourgeist for large festivals. The one who picks the largest Gourgeist is said to have good fortune.
NO. 711 Pumpkin Pokémon HT: 5’07" WT: 86.0 lbs.
Ability: Trick-or-Treat
As long as this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, your opponent’s Active Pokémon is a [P] Pokémon instead of its existing types.
[G][C] Heavy Heart 20x
This attack does 20 damage for each of your opponent’s Pokémon with weight less than this Pokémon’s. During your opponent’s next turn, this Pokémon takes 50 more damage from attacks from each of your opponent’s Pokémon with weight greater than this Pokémon’s (after applying Weakness and Resistance). (If a Pokémon doesn't have the weight printed on the card, treat it as less than this Pokémon’s.)
[G][G][G] Ruining Light
Devolve each of your opponent's evolved Pokémon and put the highest Stage Evolution card on it into your opponent's hand. Then, your opponent reveals their hand. For each Pokémon card you find there, put 1 damage counter on your opponent's Pokémon in any way you like.
Weakness: [R] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C][C][C]
Children like to pick Gourgeist for large festivals. The one who picks the largest Gourgeist is said to have good fortune.
Trick-or-treat is awesome, is a really interesting Ability that, as you said, only really messes up type-specific strategies, which is a really specific strategy itself without being overpowered. Heavy Heart is simply brilliant. The way you worded it is the way I’d done it myself, really well integrated, and the weight mechanic is real good and can’t really reach any high damage output while also leaving yourself vulnerable. Finally, Ruining Light is a really good attack with a really powerful effect that can also deal some damage; but it also has a really high cost and can deal 0 damage as well, so it’s really well balanced.
Creativity: 19/20
(Combination of some previously existing effects, but in a clever, marvelous way.)
Wording: 15/15
(Flawless.)
Believability: 15/15
(Seems good to me, really balanced.)
Total: 49/50
Creativity: 19/20
(Combination of some previously existing effects, but in a clever, marvelous way.)
Wording: 15/15
(Flawless.)
Believability: 15/15
(Seems good to me, really balanced.)
Total: 49/50
15. @Jadethepokemontrainer
Butterfree//Grass//HP 120
Stage 2 ~ Evolves from Metapod
Ability: Fat Free Flight
The Retreat Cost of each Pokémon in play (both yours and your opponent's) is [C] less.
[G][C] Weight Slap 10+
This attack does 10 more damage for each [C] taken away from Pokemon's retreat cost using the Fat Free Flight Ability.
Weakness - [R]
Resistance -
Retreat - [C][C]
Stage 2 ~ Evolves from Metapod
Ability: Fat Free Flight
The Retreat Cost of each Pokémon in play (both yours and your opponent's) is [C] less.
[G][C] Weight Slap 10+
This attack does 10 more damage for each [C] taken away from Pokemon's retreat cost using the Fat Free Flight Ability.
Weakness - [R]
Resistance -
Retreat - [C][C]
Fat Free Flight looks nice, it’s not really an overpowered Ability considering it’s on a Stage 2 Pokémon. What I find interesting, though, is that it can stack; so if you have 2 of them, not only your Retreat Cost gets even lower, but the attack gets a higher damage output; which by the way, is a nicely thought attack, I like it. With 2 Butterfree AND assuming every Pokémon has at least 2 Retreat Cost, and the playfield is full, you hit for 240 (360 with Skyfield), as early as T2 if you get a good setup. It’s a bit over the line if you ask me, specially for a 2 Energy attack AND in a one prize attacker. Maybe do 10 instead? And to be quite honest, can’t find any better way to rephrase that AND have a reference for it. bbninjas actually found references for a few elements of the attack.
Wording Errors:
Unaccented “é” in Pokémon (-1pt)
Retreat Cost should be capitalized (-1pt)
“...using the Fat Free Flight Ability” should be “by the Fat Free Flight Ability”. This is because you don’t actually activate (i.e. ‘use’) Fat Free Flight, as it activates automatically. (-1pt). Carbink FCO is the best reference for this passive wording structure.
The order of the attack should be “...from the Retreat Cost of each Pokemon…” (-2pts)
The Pokemon in the attack should be referred to as “each Pokemon in play”. (-2pts)
There should be a “(both yours and your opponent’s)” after referring to the Pokemon in the attack. (-2pts)
I’m really not sure about the wording for “taken away”; it could be “taken away” as you said, or it could be any of “removed", "minused", "taken from" or "less from”, etc. There’s no good reference for this one that I could find, so your guess is as good as mine!
References: Mount Lanakila, Carbink FCO
Creativity: 17/20
(Nice Ability, great attack.)
Wording: 6/15
(A number of minor and major errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(Attack too overpowered.)
Total: 36/50
Wording Errors:
Unaccented “é” in Pokémon (-1pt)
Retreat Cost should be capitalized (-1pt)
“...using the Fat Free Flight Ability” should be “by the Fat Free Flight Ability”. This is because you don’t actually activate (i.e. ‘use’) Fat Free Flight, as it activates automatically. (-1pt). Carbink FCO is the best reference for this passive wording structure.
The order of the attack should be “...from the Retreat Cost of each Pokemon…” (-2pts)
The Pokemon in the attack should be referred to as “each Pokemon in play”. (-2pts)
There should be a “(both yours and your opponent’s)” after referring to the Pokemon in the attack. (-2pts)
I’m really not sure about the wording for “taken away”; it could be “taken away” as you said, or it could be any of “removed", "minused", "taken from" or "less from”, etc. There’s no good reference for this one that I could find, so your guess is as good as mine!
References: Mount Lanakila, Carbink FCO
Creativity: 17/20
(Nice Ability, great attack.)
Wording: 6/15
(A number of minor and major errors.)
Believability: 13/15
(Attack too overpowered.)
Total: 36/50
16. @quakingpunch73
Uxie -Psychic- HP 70
Basic Pokémon
NO. 480 Knowledge Pokémon HT: 1’00” WT: 0.7 lbs.
Ability: Enlighten
When you play this Pokémon from your hand onto your Bench, you may search your deck for a basic Energy card and attach it to your Active Pokémon for each [C] in your opponent’s Active Pokémon’s Retreat Cost. You may not use an ability with the same name during your turn.
[P][P][P] Secrets of Acuity 90
If your opponent’s Active Pokémon is Knocked Out by damage from this attack, you may take 1 less Prize card for it. Then, draw cards until you have 8 cards in your hand.
Weakness: [P] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C]
According to some sources, this Pokémon provided people with the intelligence necessary to solve various problems.
Basic Pokémon
NO. 480 Knowledge Pokémon HT: 1’00” WT: 0.7 lbs.
Ability: Enlighten
When you play this Pokémon from your hand onto your Bench, you may search your deck for a basic Energy card and attach it to your Active Pokémon for each [C] in your opponent’s Active Pokémon’s Retreat Cost. You may not use an ability with the same name during your turn.
[P][P][P] Secrets of Acuity 90
If your opponent’s Active Pokémon is Knocked Out by damage from this attack, you may take 1 less Prize card for it. Then, draw cards until you have 8 cards in your hand.
Weakness: [P] x2
Resistance:
Retreat Cost: [C]
According to some sources, this Pokémon provided people with the intelligence necessary to solve various problems.
I have to be honest here. The card is too powerful. It’s too much “free” acceleration as an Item. Imagine, for example, a Darkrai-EX deck using every Elixir and Patch they can and finishing up with Uxie. Or a Fire deck using an Uxie on a Ho-Oh or Volcanion and finish up the turn with a Kiawe. Or a Vikavolt deck attaching 4 Energy from both Vikavolt and then Uxie for another 1-3 Energy. Heck, even in decks like Metagross, Ninetales or Gardevoir it serves as a good, reliable and mostly uncounterable resilience card that can turn tides up into your favor after being rushed down by a tsunami… twice. Doesn’t mean it can’t be printed, I mean, TPCi since Garbodor’s existence proved that anything can happen, but it’s highly unlikely. I can’t see why you wouldn’t run 4 of this in ANY deck. I do, however, think the card is creative; credit where credit’s due. The Ability’s effect is, albeit OP, quite nice; and the attack is really genius, it serves a nice twist.
Creativity: 18/20
(Nice Ability, and a really well thought Attack)
Wording: 15/15
(Pristine.)
Believability: 11/15
(Garbodor GRI-level broken.)
Total: 44/50
Creativity: 18/20
(Nice Ability, and a really well thought Attack)
Wording: 15/15
(Pristine.)
Believability: 11/15
(Garbodor GRI-level broken.)
Total: 44/50
17. @GM DracLord
Wailord GX HP 300 [W]
[Stage 1 - Evolves from Wailmer]
Ability - Soothing Tidal
Once during your turn (before your attack), you may heal 50 damage from your Active [W] Pokémon.
[W] [C][C] Weighting Down 150
Discard a [W] from this Pokemon.
[W] [W] [W][C] [C] Extreme Dwindling Wave 300-
Does 300 damage minus 20 for each damage counters on Wailord GX. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness - [L] x2
Resistance - [-]
Retreat Cost - [C][C][C][C]
[When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.][/QUOTE]
[Stage 1 - Evolves from Wailmer]
Ability - Soothing Tidal
Once during your turn (before your attack), you may heal 50 damage from your Active [W] Pokémon.
[W] [C][C] Weighting Down 150
Discard a [W] from this Pokemon.
[W] [W] [W][C] [C] Extreme Dwindling Wave 300-
Does 300 damage minus 20 for each damage counters on Wailord GX. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)
Weakness - [L] x2
Resistance - [-]
Retreat Cost - [C][C][C][C]
[When your Pokémon-GX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.][/QUOTE]
The Ability is nice, there’s not that much that can abuse it and the fact it’s a Stage 1 Pokémon that’s difficult to move around makes it more risky to play; the attack is very vanilla and I think a bit too high for a 3 Energy attack on a Stage 1 that can use DCE (Ninetales discards 2 Energy and cost is DCE-unfriendly). And the GX is okay at best, not something too particular about it. Although, a GX attack without GX in its name is quite weird if you ask me.
Wording Errors:
“(...) [W] Energy”. (-1pt)
“This attack does” instead of “Does”. (-1pt)
“(...) minus 20 damage”. (-1pt)
“Counter” instead of “counters”. (-1pt)
“This Pokémon” instead of “Wailord-GX” (-1pt)
Reference: Vaporeon-EX GEN
Creativity: 13/20
(Nice Ability, other effects could be better.)
Wording: 10/15
(Minutia to be dealt with next time.)
Believability: 12.5/15
(Balance issues with the first attack; half a point for the GX attack name.)
Total: 35.5/50
Wording Errors:
“(...) [W] Energy”. (-1pt)
“This attack does” instead of “Does”. (-1pt)
“(...) minus 20 damage”. (-1pt)
“Counter” instead of “counters”. (-1pt)
“This Pokémon” instead of “Wailord-GX” (-1pt)
Reference: Vaporeon-EX GEN
Creativity: 13/20
(Nice Ability, other effects could be better.)
Wording: 10/15
(Minutia to be dealt with next time.)
Believability: 12.5/15
(Balance issues with the first attack; half a point for the GX attack name.)
Total: 35.5/50
3rd Place: quakingpunch’s ubiquitous Uxie, with 44/50 points
2nd Place: TheFlyingPidove’s lit Lampent, with 46/50 points
1st Place: NinjaPenguin’s giga-sized Gourgeist, with a massive 49/50 points
Isn't '...from <X>' the new S/M wording? Since I was making a GX, it would be in the S/M format. Not that it would change much though xD.
The main reason I left the first attack effectless is because I couldn't think of anything to put on it.
EDIT: On second thought... I could have made an ability... that somehow allows drawing of cards for both players. To balance out the GX attack.
I just have a question about this part:
What do you mean by this? Do you mean the attack should do 10 more damage for each retreat cost taken away?
I'm pretty sure that is what @Luispipe8 meant. The attack output was pretty high (240 to 360 damage) and fairly easily attainable, but dropping the additional damage from 20 to 10 would make the attack within a more reasonable damage range (120 to 180 damage).
But it already is 10...
Ignore it; was thinking on something else; but still the damage is high with 10 as a base multiplier.