Writing POKE FIC ORRE REGION

[Pokemon-Striker]

the story is good i like those kinds of stories like jimanji and that space thing where they are in a game, they only thing i dont like about is the name not only to your story but to others "SUMMER" "APRIL" "JULY" "MARCH" JUNE" and ect. just like MAY.... i understand you like may or want may to be in your story make up names like jenny, cindy, sarah, anna, shirley, and stuff but the story is good i give you 8 out of 10 keep it up

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the story is good i like those kinds of stories like jimanji and that space thing where they are in a game, they only thing i dont like about is the name not only to your story but to others "SUMMER" "APRIL" "JULY" "MARCH" JUNE" and ect. just like MAY.... i understand you like may or want may to be in your story make up names like jenny, cindy, sarah, anna, shirley, and stuff but the story is good i give you 7 out of 10 keep it up

 

[mach8822]

Chapter 7: Out on an adventure

AJ: what just happened?
???: hey give me back my pokemon!
Mitchum: it’s not your pokemon anymore that pokemon had the door to it’s heart closed it needs a good trainer to reopen the door to its heart’
???:why would you want it to return to normal? It’s a lot stronger like this
Mitchum: who are you?
???: I’m a grunt for the cipher they are returning and this time we aren’t going to fail!
*Summer throws a rock at the back of his head*
Grunt: what happened? Where am I?
Mitchum: he doesn’t remember anything could it be the cipher are hypnotizing the people that work for them to get them to work for them
Steven: that must be the cause after failing two times no one would want to work for them
Grunt: whats going on? Where am I?
Mitchum: it’s ok you were hypnotized by the cipher
***********************Back in the lab******************
AJ: so Prof. what’s going on? What happened is this cubone mine now
Mitchum: yes it is and what is going on you have been brought to this world to stop the cipher and save all the pokemon they’ve harmed in their attempt to take over the world you might not want to but you need to
Grunt: umm excuse me I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused but I remember enough to tell you where their three mini bases are. ohh and by the way my name is Clint. Do you think I can stay here and help out for a while until I remember where I come from and what happened when the cipher did this to me?
Mitchum: of course
Sarah: we’ve got trouble!
AJ: huh?
Nate: two more cipher grunts appeared and our poketches are alarming but we don’t have pokemon
Mitchum: there’s only one way you have to scan them and fire right away
Nate & Summer: ok
Grunt 1: ralts confusion
Grunt 2:Surskit bubble!
Sarah: look out! *They both dodge the attacks*
Nate: Now we have to scan them
Nate and Sarah: go snagball!
Sarah gets surskit and Nate gets ralts
Nate and Sarah: alright we got our first pokemon together!

 

[mach8822]

Chapter 8: the journey begins

Mitchum: kids hurry we’ve got some information from Clint about the cipher
*they all run to the lab*
Clint: So here’s the information the cipher have three small bases that each have general the best idea is for two of you to set out to one base the other two go to the other base and the final person goes to the last base
Steven: I’ll be the one to go alone
Mitchum: are you sure it will be hard by yourself maybe AJ should go he has two pokemon
Steven: look I was the one who wanted to do this from the start I think I should do this
Sarah: but wait what if there is a shadow pokemon that we can’t catch?
Clint: that’s the good thing they made the shadow pokemon different ways at each base so statistics show that you should go like this so you can get any pokemon
Sarah and Nate go to the cave area
Steven goes to the rock are
Summer and AJ go to the desert area
Mitchum: you all set out tomorrow morning
All of them: ok
************************the next morning************************
Steven: well we won’t be seeing each other for a while
Summer: yup
AJ: yo everyone try not to get yourselves killed
Sarah: we’ll try not to
Nate: looks like it’s time to go
Summer: ya well lets go AJ
Nate: our turn to go now
Steven: well here goes nothing
*they all go off in different directions*
********************at the first base with Summer and AJ************
AJ: well it looks like there are two doors different door
AJ: well it might be risky but OK
Summer: we should each go in a

*so they go off*

 

[Negative Zero]

good chapter

 

[togepi]

Its great!