Writing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Fanfic (With a little twist!) Post character ideas!

ok, so im making the movie story now or actually in like 10 min so please comment on chapter 4. I know it was short but please comment?
 
Well, how did you like it? Were there ay specific parts you thought were better than others or did you think something was out of place? I will change it if i have too?
 
they didnt need the pass. You read that the captain already new where it was. The pass was useless. It was only worth a few million pokemoney!
 
ok thanks but i think i made a tinsy witsy mistake. Dont you think i kind of beat the legendary pokemon really easily? Do you think i should have made it a little more challenging?
 
i really liked it. when am i going to become a tyranitar....
wait. scyther is my step brother, so that would mean i have another step brother 0.o
now i am the only sam so you don't have to say sam the pupitar any more.
 
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