Random funny quotes thread

infmach

can't get Bridgit Mendler out of my mind
Member
Qut anything from life that is very hilarious. I have 2.
"big bro will beat me up if i dont write the bad stuff sorry plz foregive write yes or no " WereHog889 from Youtube
"Yo mama is so ft she is in a laboratory" Uknown n00b in Xbox Live
POST
 
"I get to go to a lot of overseas places like Canada" ~Britney Spears

*Check SOM's profile to make sure*
 
"Yo mama's so fat, the sorting hat put her in the House of Pancakes."
-The host from Web Soup.
 
I will probably get a warning for this, XD

A protozoa is a single-cell Orgasm
^Me in science class (Meant to say Organism)
 
ElectroManiac said:
I will probably get a warning for this, XD

A protozoa is a single-cell Orgasm
^Me in science class (Meant to say Organism)
ROFL lolol

"I just got donked by a farfetched"
 
Bulbasaur45S said:
ElectroManiac said:
I will probably get a warning for this, XD

A protozoa is a single-cell Orgasm
^Me in science class (Meant to say Organism)
ROFL lolol

"I just got donked by a farfetched"

LOL X2
"my nice bro is telling me mean bro that he likes you he just got hurt i am going to tell him ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh he kiked me in the gut"

Just LMAO
 
-How do you to shuffle your deck?
-Throw your deck at your opponent and have them pick it up, I call that the pwnage shuffle
 
^^true true...

Ok, so yesterday i was at a store called air traffic, and my friends Knight and Sarah were working, so Sarah was helping these 2 customers, a son and a dad, the son being about 7, and so I turned to Knight, and I was like:
"Knight, what would you do if a horde of zombies walked through that door?" And he goes:
"Well, I would slam the door shut on them, and kill off the rest. Then, I would kill those 2*points to customers*. Then, I would thoroughly inspect you and sarah and then kill you if need be."
So at this point, I am laughing very hard, and he starts as well. We both are laughing, and after about 5 minutes, I asked him how he would kill them. So he looks around the store, and looks back at me.
"Well, Michael, I would have to kill the older guy first. So I would take some kite string, put it on his neck, and kick his back, slicing his head."
Of course he doesnt say that, he just makes the motions, and I am on the ground in tears of laughter, it was hilarious...
 
At school, I'm known as the gifted wierdo. Here's an example:
I'm in G.A.T.E, but say random stuff and act person. Quote: "I am part hashbrown."
 
i would get banned for the quote i want to post.
iwas with my dad at a baseball game and this guy was selling beer so my dad called him and he handed the beer to me.after my dad paid. i was like lol and went to open then my dad smacked me on the back of the ehad and took it.
classic child abuse loljk.
 
^ Agreed. Machamp is not a luck sack deck everybody thinks it is.

I got a T1 Machamp in about every game without using any powers and even donked with MACHOP. There are so many ways to donk with Machamp.

Post was from Red Haired Shanks on the PokeGym.

LOL. That's amazing.
 
Sometimes at school, my 3 friends and I find a word that sounds funny when said randomly. Like in the middle of a conversation, we would say something like "tape" or "muffins".
 
I don't think I'll get a warning for this since it could mean a variety of things, and it's obviously not innapropriate the way I mean it.

Ok, so my science teacher said "what makes cells grow"?
Some kid said "Proper nutrition, protein, vitamins, etc."

The teacher said; "how do you make cells shrink?
some kid shouted out "You take a old shower"

(obviously meaning that when your cells feel cold, they shrivel up, and get wrinkly ;))
 
"I'm as hungry as the fabled, whale-ape." - my dad.

"You look like a lesbian" - my mother.

I have family issues. :C
But I found these funny. C:
 
DiamondMaster said:
"I'm as hungry as the fabled, whale-ape." - my dad.

"You look like a lesbian" - my mother.

I have family issues. :C
But I found these funny. C:

LOL at the Lesbian one, and laughing of your own life is good.

"Stop, stop it right there you stupid" My gradpa said to my mom.
 
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