Random funny quotes thread

Well this is kind of a joke i didnt make it up.

A girl was sleeping in sunday school class and a boy sat next to her.
The teacher began her lesson by asking "WHo made the world in 6 days?"
Then the little boy poked the sleeping girl with a pen and she yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!"
Teacher-"very good"

Then the teacher asked who died so we can go to heaven?
Then the boy poked the girl again and she yelled out JESUS CHRIST!"
Teacher-"Wow your on a roll"

Then for the last question the teacher asked what did Eve say to adam after having 13 babies?
THe boy poked her again and she yelled "IF YOU POKE THAT INTO ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
 
Shuckle the Snail said:
Well this is kind of a joke I didnt make it up.

A girl was sleeping in sunday school class and a boy sat next to her.
The teacher began her lesson by asking "WHo made the world in 6 days?"
Then the little boy poked the sleeping girl with a pen and she yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!"
Teacher-"very good"

Then the teacher asked who died so we can go to heaven?
Then the boy poked the girl again and she yelled out JESUS CHRIST!"
Teacher-"Wow your on a roll"

Then for the last question the teacher asked what did Eve say to adam after having 13 babies?
THe boy poked her again and she yelled "IF YOU POKE THAT INTO ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

XD.
Uhm...
I thin most U.S. Americans...
 
"Golduck evolves from Goldeen, right?"-my friend

Math teacher:"I've noticed that some of you have been bringing bags into class." *holds up broken arm girl's bag*
Broken arm girl:"Oh, that's my lunchbox"
Math teacher:"Oh, I was just about to say that if you had a broken arm I would make allowances"
Random kid:"IF WE BREAK OUR ARM YOU'LL GIVE US MONEY?!?!"
 
GrimsChild said:
"I don't need to get a life, I'm a gamer! I have lots of lives!"

Rofl!

"Some people say I can make a good irl soldier...but what if it lags?? I'm dead!!"

I heard it in Youtube.
 
"Has anyone got any advice for me? I'm about to go see the Army Psychologist for the psyc part of the recruitment process." ~ Random guy.
"Answer *EVERY* question with 'When do we get the guns?'" ~ Random Seargent.
"Bonus points if you show up in camo gear." ~ Random Corporal.
"What do you think I'm dumb?" ~ Random guy.
"Yes" - Everyone else in unison.

<3 the Defence Force recruiting office.
 
Oh noez, Math has too many fun quotes.

Math teacher: "I'm passing out PTO forms. For some reason they changed it from PAWS to PTO. Not many peaople join in Middle School, because we don't have any programs. I'm sure the only reason your parents joined is to see you in them. Then they wonder,'Why hasn't anyone come to see my cute child?'"
Kid #1 (A boy): "We're not cute!"
Math teacher: "Yes you are, <Kid #1>, all of you boys are!" *starts pointing at all boys* "You're cute, you're cute, you're cute..."
Girls:*start laughing*
Math teacher: "You should be jealous, I haven't said anything about ya'll!"
Kid #2 (A girl): "Why not?"
Math teacher: "Oh, fine. You're all dolls! Everyone here is a doll!"
Kid #3 (A boy): "We're not dolls, we're action figures!"
 
"The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest sh** I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song" -My friend, Alex.

"Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom" -Reverend Lovejoy.

"Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2" -Chief Wiggum

"I refuse to accept the fact that summer is over!" -A little kid I overheard at the mall
 
Juno said:
Juno:If I could give it to you now,I totally would,but Im guessing it looks like a sea-monkey right now,we should let it get a bit cuter.
Mark:Keep it in the oven.

hahaha!
cracks me up!
Juno is pure genious!
 
"Marrige is just like skydiving, somtimes you have to just jump out of the old plane. -and get sucked into the old propeller. -Allen and Charlie from Two and a half men.

"How does it feel to be dating a women whos IQ is the same as her age?"-Allen Harper

"You are an idiot wrapped in a moron." -Everybody loves Raymond.
 
haha, those quotes are epic!

dont know if this one's said already but it's on my PJ's XD

''If something's hard to do it's not worth doing.'' - Homer Simpson
 
Oh man, atm I've the most epic conversation of the week on MSN.

I was talking with a girl about the exchange project for school (y'know were you go for a week to another country).

She said; ''I'm going to Italy, but only girls are going there?!?''
I said; ''Yeah, because there's a girls-school.'' (I'm going to Spain btw ;D)
She said; ''What's the use of that? A girls-school? that's just dumb.
I said; What!?! Dumb? A girls-school? No, that's like heaven ;D !!!
 
Pokequaza said:
Oh man, atm I've the most epic conversation of the week on MSN.

I was talking with a girl about the exchange project for school (y'know were you go for a week to another country).

She said; ''I'm going to Italy, but only girls are going there?!?''
I said; ''Yeah, because there's a girls-school.'' (I'm going to Spain btw ;D)
She said; ''What's the use of that? A girls-school? that's just dumb.
I said; What!?! Dumb? A girls-school? No, that's like heaven ;D !!!
that is hilariousness.
And yes, I made up a new word for funny, just because of that.
;)
 
Teacher:Name one type of coffee beans?
Girl in my college math class:pinto Bean.
 
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