It's night time. Looming in front of you is a huge hairpin bend -- one that goes vertically upwards! It's a simple but beautiful track, and you are apprehensive as you drive towards the starting line. Finally, the race is here. The participants line up one by one at the starting line, staring intently at Lakitu, waiting for the lights to begin flashing. beep.... beep.... beeeeeeeeeep..... BOOP! The green lights flickered into life, and the racers followed suit. Leading the race from the start was Roy Koopa, smashing into the other participants with his huge weight to gain an early lead, Bowser Jr. playfully painting his tire tracks along the road as he drives, an incredibly friendly blue Yoshi, with a secret plan to eat the other drivers, turning them into eggs, and a small, lone Toad, clutching a red shell, waiting for his time to strike.
The blue Yoshi, seeing this, grew incredibly paranoid. He turned around briefly to check the passenger seat, to try and figure out what he could do to stop that red shell from attacking him! "It might be a bit early for the POW Block..." the dinosaur thought, and so grabbed the rare Mega Mushroom instead. Suddenly, Yoshi grew in size to, quite frankly, unnatural levels. However, as the racers approached the anti-gravity hairpin bend, Yoshi did some physics calculations in his head. "Weight... plus angle... times by...." The Yoshi suddenly cried out for help, as he flew onto the vertical road, which couldn't hold the immense weight of the newly grown dinosaur, causing him to fall to his death.
The lonely Toad was cruising along. "Aha!" He cried, as he saw the perfect opportunity to nail that pesky Bowser Jr. with a Red Shell. "He'll never kidnap the princess again!". He threw the shell with all his might... in the wrong direction... but thankfully red shells do have honing abilities, so it was soon back on course. However, just as it was reaching its target, Bowser Jr. pulled out a Star, and suddenly turned psychedelic! As red shells are just Koopas being thrown to their death, this Koopa decided to make something else of its life, and quickly changed its course AGAIN, this time headed back towards the poor cowardly Toad who knew it was the end. As the red shell hit the cart, careening it off the track, a large purple turtle swerved in with a slightly out of place tanooki tail hanging off the back of his car, and swiftly swiped at Toad, adding insult to injury and... death to death. R.I.P Toad.
As the competitors were completing lap 1, Metal Mario noticed something odd. Dry Bones still hadn't moved, as if Bowser had forgotten to put life in this skeleton. "Oh well," he said in a metallic voice, as he turned psychedelic and ploughed into him, "easy kill, I guess." Just then, you here a familiar squeaky grin, and a crackle of thunder. You all panic as you see a thunder cloud appearing in the race, no one moreso than the red Shy Guy it spawned above.
Princess Peach was terrified: she can't be struck by lightning, abandoning her kingdom! As such, she made a little pit stop at her castle, and grabbed her favourite plant, a potted piranha plant! "Now," she said, "go and eat that cloud, and get rid of it!" The vicious plant did not approve of the idea, and instead turned around in its pot, chomping off Peach's head instead.
The Shy Guy began nearing Link, who drew his sword, until he realised that its against the rules! "Oh God..." he cursed, as he saw the crackles nearing his car, "what can I do!? Oh!" he realised, as pulled out a large, rather bland looking box, with a HUGE horn in the front of it. He squeezed it once, but the Shy Guy just drove past him, taken the thunder cloud with him. He wasn't targeting Link at all! From the night sky, everyone heard a distant horn echoing Link's. Suddenly, a huge boar could be seen charging towards link, with a large green ogre on its back. Yes, this was Lord Bullbo and King Bulbin, out to seek inevitable revenge. And they got it.
Pac-Man, who was previously lagging behind, was holding a mushroom in his hand, pondering about how he should use it. He had the option of Bowser Jr., Roy Koopa or Metal Mario (since, of course, the Shy Guy has a thunder cloud floating above him) and he could see which one was closest. The yellow icon neared the shiny metal, and transformed into his original 2D circular form for added effect as he sped uncontrollably into Metal Mario. However, when I say uncontrollably, I mean uncontrollably, and the poor yellow circle also hit the Shy Guy who swerved into Pac-Man's route, being murdered by lightning soon afterwards.